The here and now
by ARCHANGEWOMAN
Summary: Of all the schools in all the world she had to walk into mine… Said o'neill NEW Chapter 43 NOW UP
1. Chapter 1

" THE HERE AND NOW "

" April ! "

" Yes dad! "

"We are going to be late for school!"

Jack oneill never tought he would say those words ever again in his life. Fate as it seemed wanted to give him a second chance and who was he to argue? He always keept what little happines he got and this little munchkin had made his life very complicated but in a good way.

Fifthy miles from the O'Neill recidence Samantha Carter frowned and searched for her keys. She knew she had put them down on the coffee table last night. She knew that, right? But of course something told her that her husband had taken her keys instead of his own, which annoyed the hell out of her.

" Aron, time to go!"

"I'm ready mom and dad said that you should used the spare set cuz he couldnt find his keys again."

"Right."

She tried to keep the anger from her voice, the annoyance and the bitterness and found she had failed miserably. She told her son, the only one who made her days happy and made her content to wait in the car. As she rushed towards her car she smiled and shock her head and once again reminded herself she was doing this for him.

Thirty minutes later she was in front of the school waving good bye to her son as he entered the school. His first day, she was worried and wanted to be there for him but she knew better. As she was turning to head back to her car, she saw a truck screech to a stop infront of her car. A read headed girl jumped from the passenger seat and rushed passed her.

"You forgot your lunch young lady! "

The blur of red head rushed back and snatched the bag from the man Sam was all to familiar with. Silver hair, leather jacket, khaki pants and the all to sexy scar on his left eye brow. He was Jack O'Neill, she knew it the moment she saw him, she knew it was him.

"Thank you dad!"

"Ok, now April remember what uncle Daniel told you."

"Yes dad!"

"And what aunt Janet said also."

"Ok dad!"

"And forget what Teal'c said ok?"

"Daaad!"

The blur of red head rushed pased Sam and this time the the silver haired man saw the golden haired woman standing just a few feet away from him. She was Samantha Carter, there was no doubt about that and she was staring at him and was taking tentative steps towards him, gauging his reaction. He didn't back down, he smiled and raised his eye brows.

"Hey Carter!"

"Hello sir…"

"Jack."

"Huh?"

"You're retired remember?"

"Yeah...old habits I guess…"

"Yes, well, they do die hard."

She smiled for the first time in what seem like an eternity, without her son to cheer her up or make her smile. This man whom she had not seen in five years made her smile for the first time in a while and she felt chated somehow at what she didn't know.

"So... your kid?"

"Ah yes, Aron...just started you?"

"I think I'm a little old for school, Carter."

Jokes lame, funny, sarcastic and just plain horrible made her laugh out loud not only suprising him but her as well. She had not laughed, not smiled like this in a while and now here with him, her ex comanding officer, she was laughing and smiling and for a moment it felt like old times, but only for a moment.

He was older and so was she his face showed his age and she saw that he no longer had that mischief about him. Something had change while she was away. The man infront of her was Jack O'Neill, but this Jack O'Neill was missing something. And it apeared that he was still looking for it.

They talked for a while, exchanged phone numbers and waved their good byes. He drove off to work and she just stayed in her car and looked off into the direction he had droved off. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had work to do, the house nedeed to be cleaned, the boxes nedeed to be unpacked and dinner had to be bought.

She found herself wondering of the past and of what it offered her. At the SGC General Jack O'Neill was somewhat in a state of disbelief. He still couldn't figure out if he had imagined the whole encounter with his ex colonel, or if it was real. It was weird, she was older now, but she looked the same to him. Like a zombie he walked towards his office, sat down and put the paper with her phone number on his desk.

"Jack I ...Jack ? "

Daniel Jackson had been waiting for his friend. He nedeed a favor, he nedeed to go off world to a site were they nedeed his expertise, but noticing his best friend's state he wondered if every thing was ok, or if he should even go to the mission. Jack never looked so confused about anything.

"Carter… "

"Sam ? What about her?"

"I saw her today ...said we should get together… "

"Wait, wait she is back?"

"Yeah, her kid is going to the same school as April."

"Weird…"

"I know."

"So we should go visit her or do something right?"

"I dont know…"

"Right...so...umhhh ask Janet?"

"Ask Janet?"

Off they went to seek Janet and as for Jack, his mind keept repeating a cliche. He wasnt to particularly found of it. Daniel noticed his odd behaviour and raised an eye brow in question. Jack smiled and shock his head.

"Of all the schools in all the world she had to walk into mine…"

"Funny."

continued


	2. Chapter 2

Note : this takes place in the past

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER II

- THEN -

" General O'Neill ? "

" This is he. "

" Sir, your presence is required at Saint Julia's hospital. "

" Excuse me? "

" It's your ex wife sir. She asked for us to contact you. "

" I'm on my way. "

Shara was in the hospital, hurt and bleeding internally. She was not going to survive. Her husband had died instantly but now she found herself wondering what of her daugther. After Charly died she never imagined herself loving another child with such strength, but it had changed and April had showed her how. And now she was having to say good bye to the little girl.

" Shara? "

" Jack… I'm glad you came. "

"What happened?"

" An accident ...a stupid accident. Some drunk driver... he is dead Jack... he died on impact…"

He knew whom she was talking about and he felt sorry for her. She had finally found some happiness after all the the hard years after Charly. She had finally been able to let go and move on and now it had all been taken away from her. All he could do was hold her hand and tell her it was going to be all right, but her eyes told him otherwise.

" I'm diying, Jack. "

" Shara you… "

" I'm bleeding internaly...the doctors can't stop it... I'm going to die. "

" God Shara I... I… "

He pulled away from her and looked away. He couldn't meet her eyes and she understood why. Jack had been trough hell and back but she knew that this hurt him more than anything else. He might not love her any more, but he still cares for her, he cares for every one that he has lost and a faint smile light up her face. Despite every thing Jack O'Neill is still a caring and loving man.

" Jack ... I... Aron had a daugther... a baby girl. "

" Oh God Shara I didn't… "

" I...please take care of her Jack. "

" Shara I... I can't I'm sorry I ..."

" Please Jack ... she dosen't have anyone. Aron's parents died, he has no other family members and dad can't take care of a little girl. "

" Shara I can't do this... I'm sorry but I can't. "

" Jack, I trust you. "

" How can you... God Shara what if i screw up again ? What if... Shara you know what happeend to Charly… "

" Jack it wasn't your fault and I know you learned from that awfull experience… Please Jack… "

The nurse walked in and Jack closed his eyes. In her arms she carried a small bundle and he knew that in her arms was April, the little girl Shara wanted him to take care of. The diying wish of a desperate woman. He couldnt do this. He nedeed some air, nedeed someone to talk to. Excusing himself he pulled his phone and dialed his friend's number. Maybe Janet could do something and Daniel, he neded Daniel here.

One hour later both of them arrived and were suprised to find Jack sitting on the waiting area, a far away look on his face. It was the look he got when he found some horrible news about one of his teams being hurt or lost, the same look of panic and fear he got when ever one of his friends was hurt.

" Jack? "

" Daniel... hey where… where is Janet? "

" She is talking to the nurses Jack. What's going on?"

" Shara... she was in an accident. "

" Is she ok? "

" She is dying. "

Janet's voice brought them back to reality and daniel closed his eyes. This was harsh. First his son and now his ex wife. Everything that had once brought Jack happines was slowly being taken away from him.

" Isn't there anything you can do for her? "

" I'm sorry... no her condition is to advanced… "

" God... what am I going to do?"

" Jack there's nothing you can do for her."

" Not her... the baby... April... her daugther s-she wants me to... take care of her. I can't I don't know if I can."

Thirty minutes later and they had all gone back inside Shara's room. The woman smiled and greeted them. Jack made the introductions and then smiled when he saw Teal'c enter the room. He and Janet, Daniel had meet Shara and were triying to confort and support their friend and the diying woman who had meant to much to Jack.

As for the General, they knew that his life was going to change and now looking at him with April in his arms they knew he was going to take her in. He was after all a good man, he wasn't going to deny Shara's diying wish.

" So you're all friends of Jack?"

" Indeed."

" I saw you once before... w-when Charly…"

" Yeah we were all there."

"You changed your hair color?"

She turned towards Janet who smiled and shock her head. She was confusing her with Sam. After the explanation, they smiled and laughed, Shara closed her eyes and smiled. Jack had accepted he was going to take care of april. He had good friends and was now a General, she could finally sleep and rest.

The nurse walked in and called it Shara had died with a smile on her face, but this didn't soften the blow. Thaking the child away from Jack, Janet smiled sadly as Teal'c and Daniel offered their support and silently promised him that they were going to be with him and help him trought this ordeal.

The next morning Samantha Carter arrived at the SGC with a smile on her face and a spring to her step. She was finally able to do what normal people did and she was enjoying every minute of it. She could finally talk to some one and cuddle next to some one at night, not spend nights alone in her house and go out and have some fun.

Walking towards her lab she couldn't help but feel that there was a diferent mood in the SGC. It was as if people were having a wake or something. She raised and eye brow and looked at the people around. They were looking as if some one had died and in their line of work perhaps some one had. She rushed towards the General's office, all the way mentally scolding herself.

She was out having a good time in Denver while the SGC could have been under siege or worse. She arrived at her destination and felt her blood run cold at the sight. Jack O'Neill was not in his office. In his place, a very serious General Hammond was on the phone the red phone. Her heart began to pund and she felt like jello.

" Ma'am?"

" Y-yes..."

" Are you ok?"

" I... I'm fine... I... were is General O'Neill ? "

" He has taken leave for a couple of weeks ma'am."

" Why?"

" Sam?"

She turned towards George who signaled for her to join him in Jack's office. As she walked towards the office she felt as if she was in a daze and began to prepare herself for the worst of news. Sitting down she looked at Hammond who smiled sadly at her.

" Sir what's going on?"

" I'm sorry we couldn't contact you sooner, but your cell was off and we didnt know were you were."

" I was in denver... sir what is going on?"

" I'm sorry to have to say this but Jack's ex-wiffe died yesterday."

" Oh my God..."

It was horrible, but she felt a sence of relief flood trough her and she mentally kicked herself. Shara was dead, that wasn't good but after all the scenarios that had flashed trough her mind she was relieved her team was ok. She closed her eyes. Of course they weren't ok. Especially Jack.

" Jack's taken a few days off while he makes arrangement for the funeral and SG-1 is on stand down."

" I see…"

" Daniel and Teal'c requested some time off. I could reassign you to another team or…"

" It's ok sir, I should probably see how they are doing…"

She was in Daniel's lab a couple of minutes later. She was suprised to see him working on some paper work. That was suprising enough to see him doing paper work since he was the one who usually had his paper work all done, so he could focus on his translations and such. Walking in she smiled and sat down beside him, raising an eye brow.

" So whats up?"

" Oh, hey Sam."

" You seem busy. I heard what happened. Anything i can do?"

" No I don't think so. Janet is with Jack handling April's adoption. Teal'c and I are doing the funeral arrangements."

" Wow… April?"

Daniel looked at her and was suprised to see the geniuin confusion on her face. He tought Hammond had told her. Seemed he didn't. He cleared his troath and explained everything, which left Sam roted to her seat. Jack was a General now. Did he really believe he could take care of a little girl? A huge rush of questions assaulted her mind and she closed her eyes triying to take it all in.

Daniel smiled. He had wondered the same thing a while ago. How was Jack supposed to take care of such a young kid specially when he was now a General. Taking a deep breath he continued to fill out the forms for the funeral home and wake preparations.

" How is the General going to handle this?"

" I don't know."

" Daniel!"

" What Sam? It was Shara's last wish before she died."

" This is huge! Why didn't anyone tell me?"

" You were unrechable. Besides, we got things handled."

" Still this is… well, huge."

Three hours later Janet and Jack finally arrived at the base and could relax. Another week and they would have April home which was freaking the General out even if Janet promised him that she would help him get April's room ready and he shouldn't worry about it.

At the base Sam's feelings were all over the place. Not only that but she had been feeling sick for about a week. Taking a deep breath she felt the room spin around and then she rushed towards the bathroom. She should tell Janet but with everything that had been going on, plus Pete having the stomach flu a couple of weeks ago she tought nothing of it. But now it was getting worse.

She wanted to blame it on the last couple of hours and the scare she had when thinking her team had died and then finding about the general and his new situation. But she couldn't hide this. She nedeed to tell Janet. If she were sick her team could be in jeopardy and maybe something was wrong with her. Better safe than sorry she tought.

Heading down to the infirmary she stoped when she heard Janet and the General talking. She didn't want to pry but she wanted to know what was happening.

" Sir, don't worry, ok?"

" Come on Janet, we all know I'm going to screw up."

" That's it and I beg your pardon, but Jack O'Neill, you stop that behavior right now! You think I was ready when Cassi came to live with me?"

She heard the General's soft sigh and Janet's soft voice conforting him. She felt a slight sting in her heart and it only increased when she saw Janet hugging the General to her and him just taking confort in her. Taking a deep breath she cleared her troath and they pulled apart.


	3. Chapter 3

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER III

- NOW -

"Janet?"

"Yes Daniel?"

" Jack won't be able to pick April and I was wondering if you wanted to come pick her up with me. Maybe well see Sam."

Lame, yeah he was all shy and dum when it came to asking or flirting but she found it adorable and fun to watch. As she noded she went and straigthened her office, her mind wondering what to say in case they did infact meet Sam at the school. Looking at Daniel she knew he was wondering the same thing and knew that he had come up with the same answear as she had. What do you say to a person you havent seen in five years?

In truth Janet and daniel were hesitant to aproach Sam. Five long years and not so much as a blip from her. She wanted to keep away and now they were in odds ends as how to act with her. Jack was playing the odd man out as if he didnt even care if she were back. To him she was just another person whom he used to know.

School was not fun at all and by the look on young April's face she had gotten to a pretty rough start, but she was holding back tears and was just pouting and clenching her fist. Janet smiled and Daniel groaned. The girl has taken way to many lessons from Jack and was acting strong. Bending down to pick her up Daniel smoothed her hair and she sniffed a couple of times.

" Rough day, kid?"

She nodeed and Janet took her from Daniel who was currently triying to cheer the girl up. From a distance a blond woman smiled and remembered the old days and her friends. They were a bit older now but they were the same guys she had befriended and left behind, her mind told her and she frowned.

" Mom!"

" Hey aron how was your... w-what happened to your eye?"

" A girl punched me."

" A girl punched you?"

" I wasnt doing anything wrong."

She knew her son better than that and by the look on the aproaching teacher's face she was going to get one ear full of and she did. Aron had made friends quick enough. Too bad they were the girl picking kind of kids. Sam frowned and gave the look to her son who just looked down at his shoes.

" But it looks like young Mr. Shanahan bit off more than he could chew."

" So the girl punched him?"

" When he pulled her pig tail the girl defended herself. She was punished and given a time out as was Aron. I expect this wont happen again."

" No. I'm sorry ma'am."

" Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I see Mr. O'Neill over there."

She turned and ture to the woman's words Jack O'Neill was walking towards Daniel and Janet with a huge smile on his face. She smiled and saw April run towards him jumping to his arms. Jack gave Daniel and Janet his usual explain what's wrong look and then paniced when he saw the teacher, Mrs. Nobak head of dicipline, aproach him.

" Thats the girl that hit me mom."

" Were you being mean to her?"

" Yes... I'm sorry its just that the other boys said that."

" We'll talk about this when your father gets home."

Three hours later and they were all sitting on the family room. Much to Sam's suprise and annoyance Pete had reacted badly to the situationand. Was more mad at Aron for getting a black eye from a girl. Sam glared at him and he smiled sligthly embarrased but still pretty much bothered by that fact his son was not the figther type. More of a brain kind than any thing. He knew he had taken on Sam's brain and not his brawn.

" I don't want you to hang out with this other kid, ok Aron?"

" But he's the only friend I got."

" Aron a friend wouldn't get you in trouble. This other boy is not your friend, honey."

The boy seemed to understand and as the discussion rang out so did the door bell. Sam walked towards the front door and opened it. she was taken back by the sight of Jack O'Neill standing there with a little girl beside him and by the looks of it, he was just as stuned as she was. He looked towards his daugther who just raised an eye brow in confusion.

" Ah... I think I have the wrong house."

" Mom who..."

" Its' the right house dad."

" Ah ok… well young lady what did you want to say to them?"

Pete came up behind Sam and saw the man. He was suprised but then looked down at the little girl who was frowning and with Jack's words he knew she had been the one who had punched his kid's lights out.

" I'm sorry I punched you."

" And?"

" Aww Dad!"

" April what did we talk about?"

" Ok, ok, I'm sorry I punched you and here."

She handed a small paistry box to Aron who smiled and nodeed. Sam taped her foot on the floor and Aron knew what his mother wanted him to do now and he was feeling like a jerk for picking on the girl.

" I'm sorry too and I was being dumb."

" Ok then. Ah thanks for coming all the way out here."

Pete's words were un notice by Sam. Jack just shock his head and smiled. Pete had not changed one bit. Too bad though, he tought married life would change him. Aperently he was wrong.

" Think nothing of it."

" It was a suprise to see you colonel."

" General."

Sam smiled and he just smirked and lifted his eye brows. Pete turned to the girl who was hugging Jack's leg. He smiled and turned towards Jack who just raised his shoulders. After a small conversation and a small no thank you I have dinner plans, he declined the invitation for coffee. One of his reasons, he was just to tired and Sam was way too unconfortable. He could still read her like a book and even if she had agreed to coffee he knew she wasn't all that trilled about it.

Sam was no fool and thanked the Gods all the none false ones that Jack had understood and left. This bothered her a lot. Why was it so unconfortable to be around Pete and Jack at the same time? It had been five years and it was still akward and weird and now she had to deal with Pete's questions and looks.

In the O'Neill house Janet smiled and looked at the sight of Daniel, Cassie and April studing and doing home work while Jack was helping her clean the dinner plates. He sprayed her with some water and she frowned.

" What was that for?"

" A little help."

" Sorry it's weird seeing Daniel triying to teach."

" He has potential and besides Cassy is keeping an eye on him."

" So how was tonight?"

" Turns out the kid April punched out was Carter and Pete's kid. It was akward and weird."

" I bet. I wonder if Pete was angry his son was punched out by a girl. You know how parents are."

Jack smirked and Janet punched him on the arm while he chukled he wasn't happy that April had punched out another kid, but when he heard the reason he was proud of her. After all, she was an O'Neill now and O'Neill was no push over.

" You were proud of her weren't you?"

" Yes I was. I know I shouldn't, but I felt proud."

" I know what you mean. When cassy punched a guy out I felt a sence of pride and well it wasn't a good thing but I was glad she could defend herself."

Janet smiled and both of them laughed. This was weird, but in a good kind of way. Whoever tought that the two of them would some day be talking about their daugthers to one another and be washing dishes together. Things had changed between them, things had changed for all of them over the last couple of years.

When the morning came SG-1 was ready to start the day. As usual in their gatherings, they did an old fashion bbq courtesy of O'Neill .

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddd!"

" What?"

" Can I have a soda?"

" No!"

His friends cringed at the yelling and Jack just smiled. Bad habits that's what April had been getting from Jack.

" Yelling Jack?"

" What? Is easier right?"

" I do not think so O'Neill."

Teal'c shock his head and the others laughed. Cassy was inside the house with April who just smiled up at her while she tried to adjust her hearing and grimaced when she saw the girl was ready to scream again.

" No, no, why dont we just wait until I get my hearing back ok?"

" Ah, you're no fun."

One thing they wished that April would take less of Jack O'Neill was his sence of humor and sarcastic wit. They already had a mini Jack runing around, they didn't need a female version of him to add to the collection. Getting their stuff ready they headed out towards the bbq area and began to set the whole place up.

This was what Jack O'Neill enjoyed the most out of his gatherings. Good friends and a lot of food with beer and to relax. Ah if only the SGC gathering wasn't a month away he would have fun, real fun messing around with walter and siler getting chloe to blush and fledger jelaouse. Ah good times only 30 more days to go.

" Ok so what it'll be people, chiken or steak?"

" There's chiken?"

" Janet's idea."

" April isn't ready to eat a half pound steak Jack."

" Yes I am."

" Young lady didn't I treat you for a tummy ache last week for that same reason?"

April pouted and crossed her arms. She had tried her hand at eating, but it was to much. The group laughed at the young O'Neill and Teal'c patted her on the back making the little girl smile up at him. A few minutes later Jack knew there was something on the other's mind and knew what that something was. Jack O'Neill was no fool.

He knew Sam's reapearance has stirred the pot as it were and now Janet and Daniel were the ones who were struggling with what this meant. It was a shame really, he knew that if it weren't for the blonde girl that had come back they would be enjoying themselves and he nedeed to talk about it or else they were going to be struggling with it for a while.

" Ok so what's on your minds?"

" Huh?"

" Oh come on, I know that Sam is on every one's minds!"

" Well you have to admit it's kind of weird and well akward… I dont know."

" I do not understand why this is such a problem for your Daniel Jackson."

" It's not Teal'c. Is just… well, she was one of our best friends and when she left…"

" That is my point Daniel Jackson. She chose to leave and not include us in her life. It is clear that her intentions were to exclude us of her life."

Janet frowned and Jack raised and eye brow. True that was how it had felt but no one had said it out loud and he suspected that Janet's frown was not so much directed at Teal'c but at her old friend's actions. Daniel was considering it while April just chewed happily and looked at the adults. Cassi was the one who stood up and slamed her fist down on the table.

" As far as I'm concerned, if she didn't want any thing to do with us then I don't want any thing to do with her."

Before they could say or respond to her words and actions she was off stroming into Jack's house. Jack looked at Janet who shook her head and took a deep breath. April looked at her dad who smiled at her.

" Why is Cassi so mad?"

" Is a teenager thing kid."

" Ah."

The others glared at Jack who smiled and chukled while Janet tried to hold back her smile and Daniel just shock his head. Jack knew how to incert humor into any situation no matter how tense or uncofortable it was. He went inside for a beer and to talk to Cassy who was currently sitting on his couch watching tv as if nothing had happened.

" You ok?"

" No."

" Oh? How come?"

" It's just ...just because she is back dosen't... she left us and now is it wrong for me to hate her?"

" Well Cass, I know she hurt you but you can't hate her because she wanted a life of her own."

" You didn't leave us."

" That was diferent."

" No it isn't. I've seen you Jack."

He frowned and shock his head. True he had ended relationships because they didn't quite understand how he can be so devoted to his job or his friends, but it wasn't the same. He just wished he could explain that to Cassie.

" Remember when I called you?"

" Huh?"

" After prom was over and the boy who had taken me had dumped me because I didn't put out... I was so alone and I just called you and you droped everything and came."

" Hey."

" She dumped you because you cared about some brat more than you cared about her."

" How did…"

" I was outside when she left... after that I just left."

" Cass I'm sorry you had to hear that."

" I'm not."

" Huh?"

" You never left me and she did Jack. She left me."

Jack closed his eyes and huged her. Cassie saw Sam as a second mother next to Janet and when Sam had left them, Cassy was the one who had been hurt the most and Jack couldnt even beging to understand how betrayed the girl felt. Taking a deep breath he wished for the first time in a while that Sam hadn't come back to Colorado Springs.

Janet watched from the outside and closed her eyes. She had felt betrayed also. When she had found out she was mad, angry and had decided to never want to see Sam ever again after what she had done. She didnt know if she could ever truly see her the same way again.


	4. Chapter 4

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER IV

" HEROS "

One week passed and Janet was still sore. Not to mention in the SGC infirmary. Now she knew how colonel O'Neill felt when he was stuck on base for so much time. She had been for a week and she was already bored out of her mind. Jack of course could already walk and be around for a while, but she wasn't allowed to even sit up for fear she could hurt her skin graphs.

"Doc, doc, doc…"

"What is it now colonel?"

"Oh, just wanted to say hey and I brought you this…"

"Your game boy, sir?"

True, it was just a simple toy, but to him it was one of his most priced posessions, right up there with his yoyo and Simposon DVD collection. She was touched that he was going to lend her his game boy. Not a new one, not a borrowed one but his. The man was sweet.

"Yes. And just for being such a good patient I got a cartige with over fifty games, even operation."

She smiled and shock her head. He was such a nut but she loved the way that compenasated for his darker side. She knew all about his dark days when he killed just because he was ordered to kill and she had no problem with his past. Because the man standing in front of her was Jack O'Neill, a man who was nice and caring and looked out for his people.

"Thank you sir."

"No problem doc. So… anything I can get you?"

"Umhhh… some water."

"Ah ah! Ice chip for your doc. You took a pretty nasty hit there."

She saw a partial flash of fear cross his face, but it was hideen as soon as it had appeared. She smiled and closed her eyes. She knew it had been close. To close a call for that matter. If it weren't for Tealc's quick thinking, he and she would probably be dead by now.

"Here ya go doc. Eat all you can…"

Feeding her ice chips was not that embarrasing for him. He was used to her feeding him the frozen liquid. But even tough he had no problem feeding her the ice chips, he knew she did. Janet Fraiser was a woman who didn't like to be trapped or useless, even if it wasn't her fault that she was down. She always wanted to be active and depend on no one. She didn't want to be taken care of. She was the one who took care of others.

Triying to ease the tension Jack began to tell her what had happened while she was out of it. Cassie was ok and had visited every day, but was unable to do so in the last couple of days due to school related occupations. Mainly her graduationg preparations and all that. And since the doctor had said Janet was not going to wake up for at least another week, Cassie had been convinced to go home and rest while she also straigthened everything out.

Too bad the doc who was treating Janet was not as good as the petite woman on the bed. Janet had woken up a week early and had been out of it for quite some time. And now, hearing this story about how SG-1 saved the day again and he didn't get a party, she realized just how close they had come to being killed and how much Jack had risked.

"Why do you always put yourself in those situations?"

"Come on doc!"

"Sir you can't possibly…"

"Carter is getting married, Teal'c is with Ishta, Daniel is… I think well… I guess he has Sarah… and you and Cassie have each other… I'm expandable…"

She frowned but continued to listen. So Sam was getting married. Shaking her head she continued to listen to the colonel's rant and smiled at the jokes and tid bits of puns he put on his story.

Telling her how every one was doing, she smiled remembering the man she had saved was okay and had a baby girl named Janet in her honor, which made her smile.

"Don't let it go to your head doc, ok?"

"Well, how can I not?"

"Funny!"

"And how are you? After the big freaze and all"

"I'm okay. Actually feel a lot better. Knees don't hurt as much and you know, all that… "

She smiled and nodeed. Jack was a pretty resiliant man. It took a lot to keep him down and by the roumours she had heard runing around he was on his way to becoming the next General of the SGC. And his ancient abilities were some what of a myth. Just a rumour he had healed bratac using ancient abilities. She knew the rumours but to believe them, it was hard.

What suprised Janet was the lack of attention Sam was showing towards them. She had only seen her for a while, and now Jack was keeping from mentioning her. Janet knew Jack was hurting, but it seemed that it was more than that. For him to be avoiding her so much, it had to be something else.

"Hey mom, Jack."

"Cassie, nice of you to come."

"Yes, indeed, we were just talking…"

"Ah, Daniel and Uncle George want to talk to you…"

He frowned and said good bye. Cassie smiled and sat beside her mom, who looked at her daugther with a confused look. It seemed Cassie was having a rough couple of weeks. She smiled and Cassie held her hand smiliming at her. It was hard to almost lose her mother, but Janet could feel there was something more.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been staying with uncle jack."

"He told me...why?"

"I can't stay at Sam's place... Pete is always there and it feels weird. Besides she is busy for us…"

"Cassie I'm sure she is…"

"I'm sorry mom, but I feel as if dont even know her anymore... she is with him all the time and..."

Janet frowned. This was not like Cassie. Sam was like a second mother to her and now Cassie was talking about Sam as if she was just a stranger. Janet knew that relationships changed people. She tought Cassie was over reacting, but from the lack of metion of the woman by colonel O'Neill she knew it had to be something more. And as Cassie continuend to talk, she knew why something was diferent.

Sam was speding more time with Pete and much to her disapointment, she didn't go out of her way to help Cassie in her time of need. It seemed from what her daugther was telling her, Jack had went to great lenghts to accomodate her and confort her when she was in a coma. While Sam took refuge in the arms of her fiance, she left the girl high and dry.

"Mom…"

"I'm sorry I worried you so much."

"It's ok. I'm just glad you're going to be ok."

"Still it was quite a scare."

"We almost lost Jack too... it was scary."

By the look on Cassie's face she was still upset about something. Sam's attitude had been no help. Of that Janet was sure. She just hoped that thigs would get better from here on.

A week later and Jack O'Neill was the new comander of the SGC and Janet Frasier was back to the surface. Not at home, but in the Academy hospital and now starting her rehabilitation. She was suprised at how the colonel had taken it to heart what had happened to her and how much he had visited. And as she tought things with Sam were starting to get better except with Cassie.

The girl had gotten her stubborn streak from O'Neill and when she got hurt she was the one who held a grudge like no other. Janet suspected she had made her mind up about Sam while she was in a coma. She still didn't know all the details of what was going on, but Cassie refused to talk about it, even to Jack who was as confused as Janet was.

"Hey mom."

"Hey Cass. How are you ? "

"I'm ok. Brought you some real food and Jack says he and the team can't make it. Something happened at the SGC I guess is something big…"

"I hope no one got hurt."

"Mom, Jack told you not to worry. Your temporary replacement is doing ok and you should focus on relaxing and getting better."

She smiled and nodeed. Cassie was excited as her college orientation tour was going to begin soon. She was taking Daniel while Teal'c and Jack moved Janet to Jack's place. Much to the disapointment of Janet, she was not going home. She was going to Jack's place, thanks to Cassie's suggestion, to which the colonel had fully agreed.

She wasn't happy but couldn't deny she could use the help. Her injuries were healing, but it was taking too long to do so and she was not up to working yet. She was tired most of the time and the bandages nedeed to be changed constantly. That's were Cassie and the general came in. And yet Jack was so busy now, she wondered if he had given in out of guilt.

There were times when Janet Fraiser believed to be just another military woman who had gotten lucky and made a family instead of making friends. She knew it was wrong for people to care so much about one another, but she also knew that this were not ordinary people. The colonel, she suspected, was how he was because he was triying to atone for his past actions. Daniel was a natural nice guy and Teal'c was an honorable warrior.

Sam was her best friend a sister, but lately she had been having problems and even tough Janet knew Samantha Carter deserved a life of her own she had hoped that life it would include them. As it seemed Sam's new life did not include them and that hurt. After all they had been trough, her and the team she was cutting them out.

Jack, she could see, was taking this as he always did. Working hard and making the best out of what the job had to offer. He helped them, helped her. Even if his schedule was busy, he would always find time to help with what he could. He even confessed to her that he was doing his paper work as fast as he could to get home.

She felt flattered, but still nedeed to find the time to find out why he was doing this. Why was he being so acomodating. She knew it had something to do with guilt and with the notion of losing one of his family. She also knew she nedeed to make him talk to her or it would eat him up.

That was why she had decided to meet with him out side her room. She had one of the nurses wheel her out towards the outside court yard that was located behind the hospital. She knew that there would be no other people around. That was why she had wanted to wait for him here and as he arrived she noticed his tired expresion and for a second reconsidered talking to him.

"Hey Jan. How you doing ? "

"I'm ok. How's the job treating you?"

"Let's say Hammond had it hard."

"Oh? Busy week ? "

"Let's just say Anubis is back in a cloudy kind of way, then there's the whole Daniel being traped off world again, then the fact that Teal'c got traped in a video game and is acused of murdering some one, all in the same week."

"So hard week ? "

He smirkes and sit down beside her. There are tables here and chairs. That was good. She wanted him to feel confortable because she knows the discussion they are going to have might not be that confortable for him.

"That's only half of it… "

"Oh right… the whole Stargate going public thing. They were some people who were pretty freaked out here in the hospital."

"Oy, don't even get me started with that guy! You know Carter actually tought we could trust him?"

"Wasn't he a flight risk ? "

"I trust Carter. Turns out her hunch was way off. Weird part of all of this is… telling the truth seems to have turned out good… "

"What ? "

"Ok not good as in good but if it weren't for them the Stargate would have gone public and Teal'c would be in jail, so I'm thinking they are in the grey area…"

"Grey area ? "

"Not so good, not so evil "

"Didn't they kidnnap Sam ? "

"She kidnaped herself. Funny story actually… she jumped the gun which is weird for her. "

A lot of things were going weird for Sam. She was not focusing on the job, Janet could see that the colonel had reached the same conclusion, but he didn't know how to bring it up to her. Pressing the asguard transporter with out knowing were it was going to take her was a clear indication she had not been thinking straight.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I dont know ...things really got weird when ..."

"If you need to get it out…"

"Fifth made a replicator Carter and it was close Janet, real close."

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath explaining what had happened. Janet was taken aback. Sam Carter was not that gullibel. She was not fooled easily. Something else had to have happened for it to have happened, and now aperently the only known weapon who had been able to defeat the replicators was gone. Yeah something was defently wrong with Sam.

" On a ligther note, Rya'c got married."

"I know. Daniel told me. It makes me wonder when…"

"Ah ah ah…"

"Come now! Cassie is a woman now, we can't always protect her Jack…"

"No, but she needs school first then she can go get married. She's still a kid you know?"

She saw something there, she heard his voice trail off a bit at the mention of cassy as being a kid. The way he adverted his eyes told her that there was something more going on. Something deeper than what they had been telling her. In truth she suspected they hid somethings from her to help her out, to not worry her about what they were doing.

Yet this this involved her daugther and best friend. Reaching out slowly, she gently made him look towards her and she saw every thing in his eyes. His worry, his concern and uncertainity. He was hiding something. She was angry, but something in his eyes made her understand.

"Cassy and Sam?"

"Yeah... I dont know what to do Janet…"

"Have you talked to them?"

"Cassy ...is stubborn. She is angry. I never seen her this way and Sam, she is evasive and ...I don't know… she's been acting off."

"It's a mess, but why do I think you know something more than what you're telling me?"

"Theres is something with Carter... I don't know. It's Cassie thinking that by hurting Carter she is helping her and I can't put my finger on it but…"

"I think I understand."

"You do?"

"No, but there is something wrong with both of them. I was hoping you could have given me an insight."

"This whole thing stinks, Janet. All I know is they fought, but both of them… I dont even know any more."

There had been something more to this and Janet could feel that Jack had an idea of what that something was, but he didn't want to admit it, or wasn't all that sure of it. She wondered just what was going on with her friend and daugther. They were so close and for them to have a fall out of this magnitude, she just didn't know what to think any more. Being in the hospital unable to talk to her friend, it was like seeing a car crash and unable to do a thing to stop it.

Looking at Jack, at the colonel, she wondered how he really was taking all of this, how he was handling it. This was not his area of expertise, Janet knew it. So she decided to change the subject and just dive right to buisness with him to clear the air and see were it lead to.

"Jack... why are you doing this?"

"Doc?"

"We... we were never close... and now your come visit me every day, you're going to help me while I recover and well it's weird."

"I'm not feeling guilty if that's what you mean."

"How did…"

"I'm not as dum as you guys think I am."

"I'm sorry I shouldnt have…"

"I guess you deserve an explanation... thing is… with Sam having a fiance and Daniel off taking care of Sarah and Teal'c with Ishta I feel as if we're drifting apart. SG-1, Hammond, you… it's all diferent."

She could understand that it was hard to move into new grounds, specially when there was nothing wrong with how things were. She took a deep breath and nodeed. She could relate. She was losing her best friend and Daniel was with Shara. Yeah she was feeling alone, she could relate to he colonel. After all, Jack was the lonliest of all of them. That lonliness had been lost thanks to SG-1 and good friends.

Now however, after being trough that, it was hard to return to being alone. After all Teal'c had always had a family whom he visited on down time, Danie had his books and even she and Cassie had Sam. That left Jack the only one who spent his down times alone.

"I... I just SG-1 and the SGC… they became a refuge from my home."

"It's ok… I understand... I guess I was just suprised that you… Well it's weird talking about it…"

"Yeah, I guess it is weird…"

Yeah it was weird, but now they had gotten past that and the tension had evaded and now they could relax with one another. True, things were changing, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst, but trough it all Janet didn't feel so alone anymore thanks to a certain gray haired colonel.

continued


	5. Chapter 5

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 5

"Now"

" GREETINGS "

She was determined to befriend them, she didn't want it to be awkward between them, especially since she was now looking at the General from across the room and she hated it to have to avoid or avert her gaze from him. Not only that, but being in a school parent teacher night was weird enough without having to deal with the General.

She frowned at herself. Why was it difficult? He used to be one of her best friends and something maybe even more, but now it was as if they were complete strangers. He was with his daughter looking at the work she had done and she was with her son so everything should be all right. And yet she felt weird around him. She hated that.

"Parents, please take a seat, we will begin shortly. For the children, they can show the school to their mom or dad, depending on who wants to stay."

Sam frowned. This was nothing like the school in Denver and Pete was not present. She frowned and began to feel like a fish out of water. She glanced at the General who smiled towards the direction of one of the teachers. He probably knew them since the woman seemed to be delighted with the man. She smirked. General O'Neill could still pull of his charm.

"For single parents the children can wait in the play area, and then they can show you around."

Sam took a deep breath. Yeah, this was good. She saw Jack walk out of the room, while April hung from his arm laughing at something he had said. She followed him and smiled at her son who was a bit nervous and uncomfortable with the whole parent teacher night.

"Mom, why can't I stay with you?"

"April get back here!"

"Mom, it's that girl."

She turned towards the jungle gym where the red headed girl was already up and dangling from the monkey bars with a very annoyed General trying to get her down. She smiled at the sight and heard her son laughing beside her at the sight of the man and the little girl struggling with one another.

"They seem to be having fun. You want to join them?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, I'm sure we can make friends with them."

She saw the hesitation in her son's eyes and smiled at him reassuringly. Aron was not the most popular boy at school. Being smart and shy was not good a combination, but she wanted to help him get out of his shell and what better way to do it than by introducing him to the General. She remembered how Daniel used to be and how he had changed just by hanging out with Jack.

"Hey dad, look it's the kid I punched."

"April…"

"Sorry dad."

Jack turned towards them and smiled at Sam. He could see she was nervous and hesitant. He wanted to frown, it was uncomfortable, but what could he do? He was determined to not be a jerk and as they got closer he smiled and extended his hand as if to greet her for the first time. She was taken aback, but accepted his hand and shook it.

"Hey Carter."

"Hello... ah we came to see if Aron can join in."

"April?"

"He isn't going to pull my hair is he?"

"No, I'm sorry I did that."

"Ok let's go to the swings!"

April jumped off the monkey bars and rushed towards the swings. Aron looked up at his mom who nodded and he ran towards April to join her on the swings, leaving Sam and Jack alone with one another. Like always he just put his hands in his pockets and looked at his daughter and Sam's kid playing.

"We have fifteen minutes right?"

"Yeah I think so."

It was awkward they couldn't deny that, but he was not turning her away. She was about to talk when he suddenly walked past her and headed towards the kids who were discussing something. She (who?) stopped (what?) and Sam watched as he knelt in front of the two kids.

"What's up guys?"

"He doesn't know how to swing…"

"Ok then bud, jump into the swing and I'll teach you."

"Yeah dad is the best!"

She was taken aback by the way Aron reacted to Jack. He jumped into the swing and began to do what Jack was telling him. Minutes later he was getting the hang of it and was laughing. She smiled and closed her eyes. Aron needed a dad and even tough Pete was not a bad father, he was to busy with work. But it seemed that Jack was always there for April. She wondered how he did that, being General of the SGC and still being with April.

Her thoughts however were interrupted when Aron rushed towards her. She smiled and knelt down towards him.

"Mom did you see how high I went!"

"Yeah I didn't know you could do that…"

"Mr. Jack showed me and April said I could be with her in the play room while you and her dad are in the conference."

"Yeah?"

"Can he?"

She looked at the red headed girl who smiled and was holding on to Jack's hand swinging from it. She was a care free kind of kid, she could tell that. She wished Aron was more laid back and wouldn't act so grown up. He needed to be a kid. She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, sure."

" COOL! Let's go!"

She grabbed Aron's hand and pulled him towards the class room with the play room area. Sam smiled and Jack signaled her to follow him towards the parent teacher night at school. It was not as boring as she had fist expect it to be. The teacher was friendly and congratulated her on a very intelligent boy she had. After receiving a bumper sticker for her car, she saw the teacher walking towards Jack.

"Mr. O'Neill…"

"Hey teach… so how's April doing?"

"She is a surprisingly intelligent girl but…"

"Too high spirited?"

"I'm worried about her attitude. She is reclusive and doesn't socialize much with other girls."

"That's all?"

She was suprised she had said that out loud, as were the two individuals who were talking about April. She how ever was beside herself that she was eavesdropping on their conversation and had been caught red handed. Jack just raised an eyebrow and looked at her with a surprised look. As for the teacher she was a bit angrier.

"Please do not listen in on other peoples conversations Mrs. Shanahan."

This had been the first time she had been addressed as such. Her eyes widened and she turned towards Jack who was now looking at his desk, his eyes covered by the shadows of the room. Slowly he turned around to face the front of the room. She felt as if she had been caught doing something wrong, as if she had hurt him and she was worried. Her heart was telling her by an ache that would not go away.

"I-it's Carter."

"Excuse me?"

"It's Carter. I ...I didn't change my last name."

"Ah. Well Mrs. Carter please restrain yourself from listening in on other people's conversations."

That said, the teacher turned and began to talk to Jack O'Neill. She wanted him to turn around and face her. Why was so important of her to know that he was not hurt by the teacher's words. Had it hurt at all and if so, did he still care about her? She found herself out of breath and her heart rate increased. She wondered and more questions appeared.

Why was she feeling like this? Why did it hurt her to see him hurt? Why was it so important that he knew she was still Carter? She was married, had a child and was ...was happy, she told herself and repeated the mantra over and over. Yet this man she could not forget, this man, her feelings she couldn't deny, so burying them was the only option she had.

There was a time when she would never have felt uncomfortable with him around, but now she wanted to flee the room and just get out of that place. He was Jack O'Neill, there was nothing different about him and that was part of the problem. He was as she remembered him and as much as she tried, she could not help but feel attracted to him. Looking around the room, she noticed that other mothers shared her thoughts.

"That is all parents. I look forward to seeing you again. Don't forget to sign our petition for new library books."

Filing out of the room she was surprised to see him linger behind to talk with the teacher. Walking towards the play area, she smiled when she saw Aron and April painting something, talking without a care in the world. Taking a deep breath she walked towards them and taped Aron on the back.

"What you drawing?"

"Hey mom, look what we did."

The picture showed what Carter could only guess was April and Aron riding on the swings, a picture to commemorate their time together. She smiled at them and April smiled up at her and then continued to finish the picture.

"Mom can April come to play?"

"Not tonight sweetie. It's too late."

"Told you so."

Aron frowned and turned back to the painting and April laughed. It was fun to see tease people, even her dad did it. As they finished the picture Sam could see how opened Aron was with April and how well it seemed to take her teasing. Yeah, Aron definitely needed more friends like April to hang around with.

"You can come to my house. Dad has a huge back yard and a play area."

"A play area?"

"Aha he and Uncle Teal'c built it. Uncle Daniel tried but he hurt his toe."

She laughed at that. It seemed Daniel had not changed and it seemed that SGC didn't change and had still remained a close nit group. She wondered every day how they were and now it seemed that they had done ok. She hadn't expected them to fail or anything like that, but she had thought that perhaps her leaving was going to affect them somehow.

It hurt. She was alone, had friends but not friends that she could rely or depend on like she had with Daniel, Janet and Teal'c. She knew that she was never going to find friends like them anywhere else. They were one of a kind and up until now, she had not realized that she had lost them.

"Janet had to bench him but I think he was being just being lazy."

"Daddy!"

She smiled and rushed towards her dad who bent down and picked her up in his arms. April began to tell him and ask him if Aron could come to play with in her play area. Jack was hesitant; Sam could see that, but he glanced at her and Aron looked at her with a mix of emotions playing on his face.

"If Aron's mom says it's ok then yes."

"Please…"

"Yeah mom, can I?"

"Ah…we'll have to...ok yeah sure."

She was going to mention Pete but when the flash of disappointment crossed Aron's face and she changed her mind. He was the new kid in town, hard to make friends and maybe this was her way of catching up with old friends. Aron smiled and rushed towards April and Jack who smiled at the kid.

"So what time can I come over?"

"Aron we still need to see if he is available."

"Dad?"

"I'm available; how about this weekend?"

"Can I mom? Please!"

"Yeah sure we'll just have to ask Dad ok?"

"Ok."

Jack didn't wince, he didn't react, he didn't do anything and Sam noticed he was unbothered by her words and she wondered why, when just a few minutes ago she was sure he had been hurt by what the teacher said. Yet now it was as if he didn't care at all.

"Well give us a call then."

"Bye Aron... Ah Aron's Mom…"

"It's Sam."

"Sam? Oh is she the one Cassie doesn't like dad?"

"Ah we'll talk about it later... well see ya guys."

Jack O'Neill walked away and Sam stood frozen to the spot at April's words. It was an innocent question, but it was valid. Aron looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Who is Cassie?"

"J-just and old friend."

"Oh, okay."


	6. Chapter 6

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 6

"ALONE "

It had been back on that planet that Cassandra Frasier first felt this sensation and she hated it. She was just a kid then, all alone on a planet with no idea of what had happened, of why those bad people had taken her, but she was a scared little child and now at 18 she felt as if she was right back there on that planet all alone.

Her mother was on a hospital bed dying while the man she thought of as a father was right next to her within an inch of his life and all she could do was stay at home and wait for news about their conditions. With the craziness at the base, it was no time for a civilian to be around. Daniel was busy, as was Teal'c, and her second mother was gone.

Sure she was here with her, but it felt as if she was just taking her in because of what had happened, not to mention how awkward it was to be around the cop, Sam's boyfriend. So she had spent most of her time in her room and Sam had not bothered to see if she was all right. She needed Sam but it was becoming clear that Sam did not need her.

Sam had Pete. That was why when Jack had woken up and come to see her, she had ask him to take her in, to let her stay with him.

"I... I don't... it doesn't feel right here anymore."

"Cass what's wrong?"

"It's ...just, please, I… I want to stay with you."

He had not fought her and to Cassie's disappointment and sadness, neither had Sam. Her words had hurt her.

Maybe it's better this way.

Sam's words to Jack O'Neill when he had told her of Cassie's request. She would never forget those words. So she had moved in with Jack and the emptiness and sorrow and the solitude she was feeling had left her. Jack was Jack, he gave her updates, told her that every thing was going to be fine, consoled her and let her cry on his shoulder. Bottom line, he was there for her.

She was a strong woman, independent and she survived and moved on, but she like every human needed some one to hold her and tell her and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. Jack knew that because he himself had needed those things at one point in his life.

"The doc says your mom is getting stronger."

"I just wish she would wake up."

"She will in time. Her body needs to heal, Cass."

She knew that and she knew the risk but she was prepared to accept whatever the outcome would be. Jack had told her the truth and she was thankful for it. He didn't sugar coat things for her.

"It's touch and go Cass, it could go either way."

She was hurt but it was the truth. As much as she didn't want to think about that possibility she needed to keep it in mind.

"But no matter what, you have all of us Cass, you have me and believe me kid I'll be here for you."

She knew that and was thankful that he had reassured her and she knew that Daniel and Teal'c would be there for her. Even General Hammond, but Sam she was not so sure. Sam's visits had been made things awkward between them and her words kept repeating inside her mind.

For a minute Cassie believed that things were going to be better. She was wrong. Anubis was attacking; the Earth was facing destruction and Jack O'Neill had given his all to stop him. The night he came home she knew that something was wrong. He seemed to be his usual self more so than usual. She knew him better though and knew that something was wrong.

What gave him away was when he said kosars instead of legs. Jack didn't know what he'd said but by the look on Cassie's face he knew he had said something he shouldn't have.

"What's going on?"

"I..."

"Jack."

"There is something about me you don't know. A couple of years back I received a download."

"Received a download?"

"A whole civilization's knowledge was downloaded into my head."

"How is that possible?"

"The Asgard think I'm genetically advance enough to retain the data."

"You're advanced? How advanced?"

"Advanced enough to take a second download."

"This is bad isn't it? Or else you would have said something earlier."

"The first time it almost killed me. The Asgard saved me but this time... we don't know were they are."

She stayed silent and closed her eyes. He waited for her to say something but nothing was said and she began to sob. Jack didn't want this, he didn't need this. Taking a deep breath he hugged and tried to comfort her to no avail. She rushed to her room and locked herself in. He knew she had to be feeling as if everything she cared about was being lost to her and he needed to fix that.

Deep within his mind he knew he had the power to change that. Walking out of his house the next morning he headed to the SGC. Cassie still was locked in her room and did not want to come out now. Entering the mountain the feeling he had all night began to increase and he headed towards the infirmary.

Janet laid there between life and death, her coma was worsening and he knew that without him Cassie would have to turn to Carter. And Sam was already making plans to live her life with Pete. He knew Sam cared for Cassie, but he also knew that with a new life came the demands of the new spouse.

He couldn't take that chance. Without thinking he placed his hand on Janet and focused. He was pushing hard trying to access the power that knew he had. Slowly a faint glow began to emerge from his hand but as soon as it began to glow it all but faded and he groaned. He felt tired and worn. Beginning to pant for air, he tried again and this time there was a bright flash and then it was over and he was on his knees.

Trying to catch his breath he saw one of the nurses walk in and raise an eyebrow. He smiled and just sat on a near by chair. He knew nurse Katling was religious and so she would assume he was just praying. He noticed as the woman frowned and looked at the monitors.

"Something wrong?"

"No, her vitals are stronger and she seems to be just sleeping… Her readings are all stable."

"You think she will wake up soon?"

"I don't know sir, but if these readings are right I wouldn't doubt that she would wake in a moment or so."

He smiled and nodded. That was good. He needed reassurance if this was his last good deed, Cassie wouldn't have to lose another mother and that is how he wanted it. Heading out of the infirmary he heard a faint gasp and saw the woman lying on the bed turn towards him. He smiled and walked out as her eyes closed again. Things would be all right.

When the time came and Sam arrived instead of Jack, Cassie knew that things had gone wrong.

"He isn't dead Cassie."

"No, he is just frozen."

"It's going to be ok."

"No, it's not, but at least mom is going to be ok."

"In the mean time…"

"Nothing changes. I'll be living here."

"Cass come on…"

"I don't want to intrude on your life Sam."

"Cassie don't do this."

"Do what?"

"You don't understand so please let's just…"

"What don't I understand? That you'd rather be with some cop than with us?"

"That's not true!"

"Really? Where were you when mom was shot, where were you when Jack was hurt? You just came and twisted the knife didn't you!"

The last thing Cassie expected was to be hit by Sam, but it happened. The slap came without warning and she recoiled by the force. Sam's eyes were wide and but before she could apologize. Cassie pushed her out the door and locked herself in Jack's house.

"Go to you beloved boyfriend Sam."

"Cass this isn't fair."

"It's easier this way right?"

Sam froze and took a step away from the door as it opened again and a furious Cassie was standing in its arch, her eyes filled with hate and sorrow.

"I heard you Sam, I heard you! So stop pretending you care and just go."

"Cassie it ...you got it all wrong. I didn't."

"Yes you did. A new boyfriend, a new relationship, you didn't want to deal with the alien kid who was such an emotional mess you didn't know how to deal with her."

"I was hurting too."

"I needed you! And...y-you you went to him, left me alone, but you know what? I'm glad you did because I found someone who needed me more."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"You don't even see it; do you? You're just selfish?"

The door slammed and Sam found herself standing on the porch alone, a million question filled her mind and she closed her eyes. It wasn't true, she was the same Sam she had been, she hadn't changed. It was just that she had a life. She needed this... she needed to be able to know what it was like. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She never came back to Cassie.


	7. Chapter 7

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 7

" PLAY TIME "

Jean looked at the boy who smiled at her shyly. This was weird. He was with a play group, but the thing was, April was nowhere near that play group. (confusing) She was playing baseball with her dad. It seemed he rushed towards them and Jean followed him with her eyes. The boy was new at her school and she had heard he had picked on the O'Neill girl.

She glanced at the blond woman who had arrived with the boy. She was attractive and seemed to know her way around the General's house. She smiled and approached her.

"Hello, I'm Jean, Summers PTA and this is our play group. Welcome."

"Ah, hello, I'm Samantha Carter."

"Oh, single mother?"

"No, just didn't change my last name."

Jean smiled too sweetly for Sam to like; she knew the kind of woman Jean was. But she needed to play nice and be friendly. She had just gotten here and was new. She didn't need to be alienated from the rest of the mothers. So she accepted the invitation of the woman to join the other mothers who were around a table drinking and eating, while their children played away.

Aron was not too sure of himself when he had first walked up to April and her dad. He was sure they were going to invite him to play with them, but when the invitation appeared and he accepted, he knew he was in trouble. He didn't know how to play baseball. But Jack O'Neill, being Jack O'Neill, could read people like books.

"Say April why don't we just toss the ball around"

"Dad?"

"It'll be fun and Aron could use the warm up."

"Right. Ok Aron grab a glove!"

The boy nodded and seemed to be uneasy. He didn't want to embarrass himself around April and her dad. Not to mention the other kids who were around.

"It's ok kid. Just catch, throw and catch, throw. Piece of cake."

"Never played ball before."

"Every one has played ball."

"I haven't...mom was busy and so was dad."

"Umhh ok… April front and center!"

"What's up dad?"

"We need to teach Aron here how to play like the pros. A little practice, a little warm up, you know, like we did with Uncle Daniel?"

April smiled and nodded, throwing the ball slowly at first. Making Aron comfortable with the ball was the first thing to do. She remembered when she had tried to play with Daniel she had almost laughed a lung out when he ran from the ball. Aron seemed to be pretty into the game once he found his stride. Then they started on the bat and rules of the game.

Within minutes they were running around and tossing the ball like pros and Jack smiled at the way the kids were getting along. It was good to have a kid who wasn't afraid of April. She was after all shunned by both girls and boys.

Carter stopped paying attention to the woman who was talking to her when she saw Aron with Jack and April. He was laughing and playing a sport. She was amazed at how quick he had gotten a handle on the game and how he seemed to actually enjoy it. He had always been afraid of sports and with Pete's constant nagging of him to join one, she had been afraid that her husband's insistence had made the boy fear all sports, like he did soccer.

Pete was such a sports dad and had pressured Aron too much, making her son dislike and give up on it all together. Since that day Aron had never joined another sport and had buried himself in books. Much to Pete's disappointment he had become a book worm and had inherited Sam's brains. But to Pete Aaron wasn't the athlete he had imagined him to be, and that hurt Sam.

Now seeing him with Jack and April, Sam wondered and imagined what it would have been liked if things had been different and she had taken what she wanted instead of settling. She was no fool; she knew Pete was the one whom she had settle for because she couldn't have Jack. She had let her fears take over and never acted on her feelings for the gray haired man.

"I see you're watching our living breathing perfect man."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't be ashamed. Every woman here has fantasies about Jack."

The woman smiled and glanced dreamingly at Jack who was running around with April. Sam frowned and looked at the other women who were also looking at him with a dreamy expression, most being single mothers.

"I love my husband, but that man is just…"

"Too fine."

Another woman put in and they all laughed, making Sam feel even more uncomfortable. It wasn't that she didn't see it. No, it was the fact that she saw it all too well and not just today, but as long as she had worked for him, she had seen it and had been tied down by the regs, unable to do anything about it.

"Devoted father, easy on the eyes and good with kids. If I weren't married…"

"Ah yeah, I guess…"

"Oh don't be shy…"

"I like his scar."

She blurted out and the woman smiled at her while the others laughed and giggled. She felt like one of the girls and joined in the talk. It was nice to be one of the gals, just gossiping talking about kids, about their careers and just enjoying herself. Bottom line, it was nice to spend time with humans of the same gender. Being a military woman she had spent the majority of her time with men, so this was nice.

It ended all too soon when she felt a pair of arms snake around her and her husband's all too familiar voice loomed from behind her. She smiled and pulled away from him.

"Surprise."

"Pete what...?"

"Time to go babe."

Sam cringed and the other women smiled politely at the man. (repetitive) She never liked his so called nick names, nor did any other woman, so it was no surprise the others acted the way they did.

"I'll go get Aron."

Aron was running around while April was trying to touch him with the ball. Jack smiled and Aron rushed towards him hiding behind him and use him as a shield, while April tried to tag him. Jack smiled and lifted Aron from the ground making the boy laugh out loud and April frown.

"No fair Dad!"

"It is so fair!"

"You're just saying that cuz I cant get to you."

"So? I win!"

"Aww, Dad that's no fair."

"Ok then, Aron is coming down!"

The boy laughed and gripped Jack's shirt not wanting to get down. April jumped towards them and knocked them down. The two kids were laughing their heads off while Jack was groaning since both of them had landed on top of him. April smiled and sat on her dad's chest while Aron stood beside them.

"Hey sport, having fun?"

"Dad, Mom!"

April jumped off her dad and Jack sat up on the lawn. April was laughing her head off and Pete was looking at them as if they were out of their minds. He glanced at Sam and was surprised to see her smiling at the sight of them. April rushed towards Aron and smiled.

"Gotcha!"

"Hey! No fair!"

April laughed and rushed towards her dad who smiled at Aron's pouting expression. He wondered if that expression came standard with every kid. Standing up he smiled at the approaching couple.

"Hey going already?"

"Work and all that."

"Aww, do we have to dad?"

"Sorry sport."

"He's your dad?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm Pete."

"I'm April, that's my dad, Jack."

Pete smiled and nodded O'Neill's kid was a confident kid, who knew what was what and carried herself with confidence.

"I know, we've met before." Pete said.

"Way before you were with me squirt." Jack added looking at April

It was uncomfortable for Sam and she wished she knew why Pete was being nice. He had a smug look on his face making Sam even more uncomfortable. She closed her eyes and decided to end it. Pulling her husband by the arm she smiled and when Jack nodded she went back to her son who was looking at his mom with worried eyes.

O'Neill always told her she was too smart for her own good and now she knew that her kid had been given the same blessing and curse.

"Dad went to get the car."

"Okay mom, bye April."

"Bye Aron."

"Thanks for inviting us Jack."

"No problem Carter."

She smiled and nodded, leading Aron to the car. She felt as if she was going back to a life that held her down, trapped. She was extremely happy to have Aron and wouldn't change that for the world. There were certain aspects of her life she did like, but as she woke up every morning they began to diminish.

Now glancing backwards and waving along side her son, she wondered how things could have been different.

To be continued


	8. Chapter 8

THE HERE AND NOW 

CHAPTER 8

" THREADS "

Jacob had severed all ties with the tok'ra. It seemed their new policies were conflicting with his own personal beliefs and Jack was one happy camper. The old man had finally seen the error of the tok'ra ways, which surprised him. Then again everything was a surprise to Jack O'Neill. Sam's marriage, his relationship with Kerry. Things were going fast and he smiled when he remember the biggest change. The little girl whom was currently being taken care of by Daniel.

Now he was currently making a sweet bbq, a fine woman was looking for a salad bowl inside and later he was going to have a nice long evening with that woman. A small smirk played at his lips it had been a long, long time since he had gotten any and now he had it and he was not going to let it go. Not by a long shot.

"Sir…"

He shook his head. No, he was just imagining it. There was no way she was here right now, while he was thinking about Kerry in a most ungentlemanly way. Shaking his head he continued to chard his meat and wondered if it was his conscious that was making him think of Sam. At this moment he was after all only with Kerry as a second best.

"Ah sir…"

"Carter?"

He glanced towards the house. Good, Kerry is inside. That was good. Glancing at Sam he smiles and tells himself to relax and not be nervous. This is nothing, just a visit, nothing more nothing less.

"I wanted to talk with you."

"Oh?"

"Pete bought a house."

"That's great."

He smiled. Yes he was one hell of a good actor. Then again he was trained to be deceitful and be good at it, so he smiled and nodded. Yeah, keep the surprise and hurt from your face, from your eyes, think about something else and keep focused.

"Isn't it?"

"The thing is… the closer I get to the wedding the more I feel that I could be making a huge mistake."

She was hesitant how to tell him, how to express what she was feeling and how to say to him that it was because of what she felt for him. That she didn't want him to be with someone else. She knew about Kerry and his relationship with her, yet she wanted to at least tell him that her feelings had not changed. Despite everything she still loved him.

He was hurt. Why now, why now, what the hell was she thinking? He didn't want this, he didn't want to be told this, not now. He was hurting enough, hadn't he been hurt enough? He cursed and took a deep breath. He glanced at the house once more and then he froze and she felt a presence behind her. She had screwed up.

"Jack I couldn't find…"

That had been that and she had excused herself her, stomach tightened and she closed her eyes. This was not good and then everything was clear. It had all been too late. Everything was a mess and she couldn't fix it. She left and slammed her hands in the steering wheel. She couldn't fix this, she couldn't undo this. She could blow up a sun, but could not fix her damned life.

Taking a deep breath she drove off and didn't look back. If she had, she would have seen Jack O'Neill standing there, his face filled with anger. He had missed her. She had driven off and away from him. Kerry walked towards him and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry Jack."

"It's ok... I… I think is for the best. She has Pete."

Kerry closed her eyes and cursed. Sam's timing had been off, way of and now she had been hurt just as she had been. But she didn't mind. She was not in for the love part, she was in it for the simple act of sex and company. Nothing more, nothing less and now she had perhaps ruined Jack's only chance with his one true love.

THREE WEEKS LATER

Positive, a positive result. How could that make her feel as if her whole world was crumbling down? She should be happy, should be jumping off the walls. She was however uncertain, she didn't know how to respond, what to do or how to act. All she knew was that a positive usually meant something good.

The blue positive sign on the plastic stick in her hand however, made her feel anything but. She now knew why she had been feeling so weird, why the mood swings and why her emotional state. She had known and now the test confirmed it. She was pregnant with Pete's child.

She would have her dream house, a huge back yard where her child could play, a loving husband and a dog. She was going to have everything she ever wanted. She was going to get married, move in with him and live the rest of her life with him and their child. So why did it seem so wrong!

The child, the house, the back yard, the dog, everything was what she had always wanted and more, but as much as she tried to picture Pete carrying her into the house, she was slapped with a reality that she couldn't deal with right now. The fact of the matter was she couldn't picture Pete in her perfect house.

Cursing her mind and imagination, she stood and dropped the test in the trash can. Things needed to be in order, needed to change. Taking a deep breath she went to do what she needed to, her body working on auto pilot, her mind speaking without her taking notice and when it was all said and done, she was staring at a very angry Tok'ra.

"Sam why?"

"I want to have a life Dad."

"You can have your life and your career."

"Please don't make this harder on me than it is Dad. I need to do this, I have succeeded professionally, now let me succeed personally."

"Will I ever see you?"

"I don't know Dad. D-denver is far and after this I won't have clearance anymore and…"

"You can't possibly think that Jack would shut you out do you? Sam for God's sake, these people, they are your family!"

"I know ...don't you think I know that? But I want more; I want my life to be mine, to make a clean break an start over."

For the life of him Jacob Carter couldn't understand and Selmak was as confused as he was. Her eyes didn't speak of love, didn't shine with that feeling. They were hollow and sad. This was difficult for her, but there was just no way he could see her leaving the Air Force for some cop.

Even Selmak's calming words made him want to scream at his daughter, to make her understand, to tell him what was really going on, but he knew that she would say the same thing over an over. As much as they both knew it was a lie, she would not waver on her resolve.

"Have you told Jack?"

"I handed him my resignation an hour ago."

"He accepted?"

"He didn't have much of a choice ...after what I told him."

"Told him what?...Sam...you?"

"It was the only way."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She hid the sadness and the sorrow; she hid every last one of her emotions and smiled and Jacob Carter knew that he had lost his daughter. She was going to move away, marry some cop and for what? A chance at being normal, a chance at a normal life? He couldn't deny her that, he wanted what was best for his little girl.

With Selmak's wisdom he knew that he had to let her do this, even if it was a mistake. He knew she needed to learn from what she was about to do. One last hug, one last good bye and she walked away from the SGC, from her father, her friends an family, to a new life with her new husband and her unborn child.

There were no good byes and no letters to her friends, she had let Jack do the dirty work for her. He told their friends, they admonished him for not telling them sooner, but when they drove to her house she was gone. Moving men were there getting her stuff from her house. Samantha was nowhere to be found.

"Excuse me, do you know where the lady in the house moved to?" Jack asked.

"Sorry, this stuff is going into storage."

"I see ...t-thank you."

No good bye, no explanation, no nothing. To say that they felt betrayed was an understatement. They had fought alongside her, suffered alongside her, risked their lives side by side and she had left them with no word, no nothing. Just like that Samantha Carter had left them and they wondered, they doubted, did she ever care? Did she give a damn about them at all? Weren't they a family?

Cassandra just laughed and shook her head when they gathered at Jack's house. Her laugh was filled with pain and hatred, something Jack wished that time would banish. Janet was angry, Daniel was hurt and for the jaffa, she was nothing to him anymore.

"You ok honey?" Pete asked.

"Yeah just a bit afraid you know?"

"I know, this was so sudden but I'm glad we did it."

"So am I."

She tried to smile a genuine smile, but failed. He didn't know the difference between her fake smile and her real one, he didn't know her, so she could lie to him. She could live like this and she would have her son, love him with all her heart, be a wonderful mother and wife. She never gave up on any thing after all.

This would be another challenge, another test for her to conquer. She would get past this, she would learn to love Pete and she would give all her love to her son. She was doing this for him, so he could have a father, a family, so he could be happy.

Denver was different, the house was not her dream house, but it was for the best. That had been a fantasy, nothing more. This house in Denver was reality. They were going to become a family. She smiled and leaned into her future husband's shoulder.

"So you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah I want to have a fresh start."

"If that's what you want babe then who am I to argue?"

"Thanks Pete, for every thing."

"Hey no worries on my part. The sooner we get married the sooner we can have our honey moon."

"And it'll be great."

"It'll be great."

He repeated and smiled when he saw the tears falling down her face. She was happy and he smiled. How could he make Samantha Carter happy? He was just a cop and yet here she was, in his arms on their way to Denver to their new lives. He was lucky and he was happy, because he knew she loved him and he knew he made her happy.

He was wrong.

continued

A big thanks you toall whomread and hope you still like the fic be patient with it as it takes some time to all come together if i can make it come together hehehe thank you all

archangewoman


	9. Chapter 9

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 9

" RIPPLE "

Daniel always had been the one who could forgive and forget and she smiled at her old friend. He had not changed one bit and yet he somehow seemed rougher. He had hardened, had lost his up beat attitude. She wondered just how things were at the SGC. Clearing her mind, she handed him a coffee mug and he smiled at the smell of it, while she chuckled. Some things didn't change.

"So how you been?"

"I was going to ask the same question."

"This is awkward."

"You think?"

He smiled and tasted his coffee. Apparently things weren't going to be too easy. He was hurt and she couldn't blame him, but she wouldn't defend her actions, wouldn't justify to him why she had left and she wondered if he was going to bring up the subject. After all, he had come here to talk and as much as she wanted to befriend them again, she was unsure on how to go about doing such a thing.

Whether she liked it or not, things had changed, things were different. He was no longer the nice archeologist who would accept her with open arms, no more than she was the scientist who could figure out any problems with the Stargate.

"I came to give you these."

"Oh?"

She saw the envelops in his hand and cursed. He was not here to make friends; he was here to do a duty. Give her her father's letters. She smiled and nodded. He was about to stand and leave, but she stopped him. She reached towards him and held his hand.

"Daniel we don't need to do this."

"It seems you made your choice."

"You wouldn't understand."

"No, maybe I wouldn't have, but I was willing to listen."

He pulled away from her and she closed her eyes. She couldn't stop him from leaving. She didn't want to stop him. He had done his task and now he was on his way, his words echoing in her head and her emotions doing a little dance of anger and frustration. How to explain, how to be with them again? She hated to admit it, but she missed them all of them.

"Daniel!"

She had to catch up with him. She needed to at least try. She saw him standing, looking back at her from his car. He had heard her and was considering leaving. He should leave, but he could never do that to her. She was still like a sister to him, even after all this time. He still saw her that way. He closed the door to his car and walked towards her porch.

"Yeah?"

"Can't we just talk?"

"About what Sam?"

She thought about it for a while. She wanted to explain, but yet she knew she didn't have to explain her actions. It was her life, she would live it as she pleased and yet here she was trying to convince herself and Daniel that things could go back to the way they were. Just forget about the past and try to rekindle the friendship that was once there and she hoped still was.

"How about we start with the past five years?"

"Ok explain that to me because I'm lost."

"Daniel can't we just talk like we used to? I don't expect for you to just be happy and merry and return to being my friend. I know I hurt you guys, but of all people you should understand why I did it."

"I can understand wanting to have a life Sam. What I can't understand is you turning you back on us, your friends, your family."

"I needed to find a new life I needed to…"

"You ran away from us and from him."

That floored her, stopped her in her tracks. She saw nothing but truth in Daniel's eyes and she swallowed hard. Her mouth was dry and her eyes were beginning to shine with unshed tears. She closed them and fought against them until she could compose herself and then looked again at Daniel, with her mask firmly back in place.

"Don't Daniel."

"I remember how I had to apologize for not appearing to you while I was ascended. How you treated Jack after his return from Edora. How you were upset with us, with me because I didn't contact you and him because of Laira."

"That was different."

"Yes it was. I had to abide by the ancient's rules. When I contacted Jack and Teal'c it was because they were dying. Jack didn't know of your sacrifices to bring him home, but you knew us. There was no accident, there was no death. You chose to leave us out of your life."

"I never wanted that to happen."

"But it did happen Sam, and now things can't go back to the way they were. It doesn't work that way."

"It can if you let it."

"We can't forget how much it hurt us when you cut us out of your life Sam. We can't forget that and some of us won't."

"Jack."

"Like I said, some of us, not all of us. Just be ready to deal with that."

She nodded and smiled when she saw the way he looked at her. Daniel was a true friend, he had told her the truth and she could see it in his eyes. Not forgiveness, but a chance, a path to acceptance back into their lives. That is what she wanted, what she had missed. Friends were hard to find and when she had left them she had known that no one was going to take their place. There was just no way that was going to happen.

Daniel left and she entered her house, a new resolve, a new chance. She knew Daniel would talk to the others and like he said some of them would not forgive her, or would try not to, and yet some of them would welcome her back. Jack had showed himself to be friendly. She wondered if it was just an act or if he really didn't mind. Yet she didn't want to think about that. She couldn't think that way because she knew that if Jack O'Neill was just putting up a brave front, sooner or later he would explode.

April O'Neill yawned and looked at her dad making dinner. Sure she was tired but they had just finished a busy day, Father Daughter Day as her dad like to call it, special time when he just spent all day with her and they went to the park, or zoo. She liked it because it was the day he spent the most time with her. A whole day just her and him, no Daniel, Janet or Teal'c

"Okay kid, eat up."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you pick me up tomorrow from school?"

"No can do but I'll be home early."

"Can I go to the base?"

"Why would you want to go to that place? It's gray."

"I like it. Aunt Janet is there and so is Uncle Teal'c and Daniel and Siler and Walter has candy in his desk."

"Ha, I knew he kept a secret stash!"

"So can I?"

"You promise to say out of the way?"

"Daaaaad!"

Jack smiled. He knew his daughter knew how to stay out of the way and even knew how to maneuver around the SGC. She had practically grown up down there; it was like a second home to her. As they made plans and she finished her dinner, he sent her up to her room to get ready for bed. As he began to put the dinner plates away, he wondered what had happened with Daniel and Sam. Deciding to find out he dialed his number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey Daniel, how it go?"

"Same old, same old, had a bit of a heart to heart."

"That's good."

"Is it?"

"You tell me."

"To be honest I still care for Sam, Jack. She is like a sister to me, but I don't know… What do you think? You seem to be the one who is least affected by this."

"It doesn't matter what I think Danny, or how I feel."

"Ah the Jack O'Neill bravado."

"Hey I'm just being honest here. I honestly don't care. Have too much to deal with right now. Either way it's of no consequence."

"Wow. That's good, I think."

"DAD I'M READY!"

Daniel chuckled when he heard April's scream and Jack's groan. Before she went to bed April demanded to be tucked in by her dad. Saying their good byes Daniel wondered how the others were going to take the news. As Jack hung up and walked up the stairs the phone rang again and he cursed. It was so like Daniel to forget to tell him something.

"Dad!"

"Hold your horses! I need to get the phone. Hello?"

"Sir you're needed at the base."

"Walter, something wrong?"

"Ah hold on, sir."

He could hear voices in the back ground and then an all too familiar voice came from the speaker and he smirked.

"What's the matter Jack? You can't come greet an old friend?"

" Dad you know it's nothing like that. Just putting April to bed that's all."

"Ah then I can wait till tomorrow."

"It's not an emergency?"

"Just a visit and some reports from you know who."

"Ah got ya. Say I need to talk to you about something, ah, personal. Can You ask Walter to prepare a car for you and come to my place?"

"Anything wrong?"

"No actually some good news. And besides April would love to see her granddad."

"Ah you sure know how to get to an old man's heart. All right I'll be there in an hour."

"See ya then Jacob."

continued


	10. Chapter 10

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 10

"NURSERY RHYME"

The SGC was no place for a child to be running around. There were dangers; there were aliens around, not to mention it was a military facility, a first line of defense against all possible alien threats. As Jack O'Neill soon learn he didn't have to worry about any of it. The SGC was loyal and would do anything for a man who didn't leave anyone behind.

It was with that loyalty that the SGC crew made a pact that no one outside of the mountain would know about little April staying on the base and everyone would take care of the child. Those who volunteered out of friendship and those who volunteered out of curiosity were equally welcomed and trusted. Siler had done a nice job of modifying the gate room.

Now, instead of having to walk to the infirmary, a ring transport simply took them to the lower levels which held the infirmary, now isolated from the rest of the rooms. Janet could work her magic with out the need to worry about contagens or pathogens endangering the entire base, not to mention the new Asgard scanners were ideal when they first came through the gate.

In truth, General Hammond and the president knew of the child staying on base but turned a blind eye to it. It did not affect the base operation in any way and it had made the SGC more secure than before. No alien virus could infect the entire base, no alien intrusions thanks to the Asgard's bio scan. There was a small joke going around between the president and Hammond about how they should have posted a child at the SGC earlier.

"So George, tell me again how we got Asgard tech?"

"Well Mr. President I guess Thor didn't want his Godchild to be in any danger."

From that day forward supreme Commander Thor had been beside O'Neill as ambassador of the Asgard. The now normal size alien kept watch over his friend and child.

"Is April O'Neill ready?"

"Jack said this was ok?"

"He did."

Teal'c nodded and Janet let the two year old go towards the two alien men one a modified Asgard, the other a rebel jaffa. She wondered what kind of test Thor was going to give April since it seemed she was in perfect health. Janet wondered what he had in mind as Jack entered her office. He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"So where is April?"

"Thor and Teal'c."

"Again? Remind me why I let the kid be spoiled by those two?"

"Because last time you handed Hammond one of your reports he told you to stop eating chocolate bars while you wrote them."

"Right. So lunch?"

"Of course."

Jack smiled and together they went to find Daniel. One year had passed since Sam's absence and even tough she was missed no one brought up the subject. It was a sore spot for everyone. Even though they missed the blonde colonel they knew that if they felt hurt or cheated somehow, then Jack O'Neill must feel ten times worse.

April O'Neill had first gone to the base while she was three months old and from the start everyone wanted to see the little child that had made General O'Neill vanish from the base for almost that entire amount of time while he got everything ready. In that time adjustments had been made to the base and now April had her own spot in Daniel, Janet and Teal'c's rooms and offices. Even Hailey had volunteered.

The Sparkplug, as Jack like to call the now Major Hailey, was as smart as Carter and had the energy of ten Daniels high on coffee. Jack liked her immediately. She was now the go to gal and was on SG-1.

"So, seen Hailey.?"

"She's fighting with Siler again."

"So that's why he has been to see me for the last couple of days…"

"You too Janet? And I thought I was the only one who had to deal with them."

"Head aches and hurt toes General."

"Count me in for a head ache doc."

They were now a close knit group and the void left by Carter didn't hurt as much when they were hanging out around one another. Hailey was a good friend and was at least as smart as Sam. Daniel could see that Jack's eyes sometimes lost their gleam when Hailey would explain to them about a piece of technology she had found or how visiting a planet was important. The hurt was there, but Jack seemed to be the one who didn't want to even think about Sam.

Looking at it Daniel felt it was better off as Jack had a new responsibility though they also had to share in that responsibility. They were his friends after all and as Thor and Teal'c came in holding on to April, Daniel knew they were going to be all right despite the loss of one of their own. Yet there was always going to be that sense of loss.

The SGC was different all right. The void of Colonel Carter had been felt all over and everyone tried to compensate and tried to not talk about it, but it could still be felt. And even as they began to forget and to just be as they were, the realization that Carter was gone became all too real once again just a year later, when Jacob Carter and Selmak of the Tok'ra emerged trough the gate.

The news was hard and Jack O'Neill did not want to be the one to deliver it, but he had to. After asking what he knew, Jack told Jacob everything. Jack shook his head while a dialogue was taking place between Tok'ra and host. Jack could see the different emotions cross Jacob's face and he didn't like them.

I don't understand this Jacob.

There is nothing to understand Sel, I guess she made her decision.

She is a grown woman Jacob even though this is not a path you had in mind for her, that does not mean it's not the right one.

It's not that Sel, it's the way she did it. These people were her family, hell I consider them family and I don't even work with them. I just don't get it.

"Daddy."

The small girly voice snapped Jacob from his inner monolog and caused him to look at Jack with wide eyes. He smiled at Jacob and knelt down beside the little girl who asked him if she could go with Daniel since he was leaving. She wanted to be outside the mountain. Jack nodded and she smiled and looked at Jacob.

"Who is he, daddy?"

"An old friend honey now go, Daniel's waiting."

"Yes, see you home daddy!"

She smiled and was out the door before Jacob could ask. Again Jack told him everything. The older man smiled in approval. Jack O'Neill was one tough SOB but when it came to kids he was as tame as one of those circus animals. Selmak's amusement made Jacob smile at the man who frowned at it.

This however became a sort of tease. Jacob called Jack a softy and Jack would grumble and before they knew it, Jacob too was tamed by the little girl who seemed to think of him as her grandfather. When Jack smiled and told her that he might as well be, Jacob and Selmak smiled and frowned at the same time when Jack referred to them as whipped by a 3 year old.

By no means was life easy on April. She had to remember to keep everything a secret. The man with the big eyes aka Thor and Teal'c and her grandfather's snake and also the big doughnut thing her dad told her was a door to the stars had its ups and downs. New enemies would come, but they had been ready for them and the war was fought on equal ground.

The SGC was a defense for Earth but also became a sort of intergalactic UN. The SGC soon changed its name to the SGA Star Gate Alliance. Much to the delight of Thor, he had proven that humanity could become the fifth race. However, he frowned when Jack suggested they should change the name of to The Federation.

They still had enemies out there. The Wraith was one of them and the Aschen the humorless freaks as Jack called them, but they gave as good as they got and at four years old April had become the base's sweet heart and many were heart broken when they found that she would be spending more time at home with Jack. Since she had turned one, her time spent at the mountain had been less and less but she always stayed there and worked alongside her dad.

In truth the little girl knew almost all the workings of the SGA and even though she loved the outside and loved doing stuff with her dad at the park, or in his back yard in the play area he had made her, she missed the mountain and she spent as much time in the mountain as she did outside. Thanks to a flexible schedule and Colonel Griffin's help, Jack was always there for April.


	11. Chapter 11

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 11

" DAD "

Three hours later and finally, Jack O'Neill was able to go to bed. It was a long explanation. Jacob was surprised not only at the way Jack was handling the situation, but at his daughter's actions. The news of her having a son had hurt him. Had she wanted to forget about them, about him? The thought in itself hurt him. He had a grandson that didn't even know him. Did he know he had a grandfather? Did he know about him?

What will you do Jacob?

I don't know Sel. The news was surprising enough, but what do I do? Do I just show up unexpected? Do I want back in her life? Yes, but I don't know if she wants me back in hers.

I believe she will, after all she did return.

Yes she did.

Selmak could sense the confusion and sadness of its host and wondered just how tomorrow would play out. After all it had been a long time and now she was back, had a child and had her own life. So, Selmak wondered, why had she come back? Did she miss them? Was there another reason?

Next morning Jack smiled when he heard the yelp of his daughter and Jacob's laughter coming from the first floor of his house. Glancing at the clock he noticed they were up way too early. Heading for the shower he wondered if April was ready to go to school and if Jacob was preparing breakfast for the little nut.

"So April, how is school?"

"Fun! I have lots of friends and the teacher is nice."

"So what have you done so far?"

She smiled and began to show him her school work. Some apples colored red, some houses painted green, all the while explaining the point of the exercise and why it was homework. He chuckled and a wave of sadness hit him. His little girl had a son; he was a grandpa and yet that child didn't even know him.

"Grandpa you ok?"

"I am sweetie, just a bit surprised at how much work you get to do."

"Aww, it's okay, Dad helps me."

"And you get a star?"

"Grandpa!"

He laughed and April giggled as Jack came down the stairs. He saw that she was ready for school and looked at Jacob who smiled and shrugged. Yeah he was definitely a big softy.

"Dad, grandpa helped me get ready for school!"

"Did ya eat?"

"Made her my world famous omelet."

"Ok then, school it is."

April nodded and began to pack her stuff to her backpack. Jack saw the look of worry cross Jacob's face and wondered if they should do this. But one look from Jacob and he was sure he wanted to do this. The sooner the better. To be honest, Jack didn't want to be present but until Sam got clearance again, he needed to be present. After all Jacob was Ex-Tok'ra

As they drove to school he waved good bye to April who rushed inside. Yet again he wondered where she had gotten those genes. She seemed to love school. He chuckled and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he saw the smiling face of Samantha Carter staring right back at him.

"Hello Jack."

"Hey Carter. Aron in yet?"

"Yes. I got the letters thanks for sending them."

"No problem, but I ahh..."

He pointed to the car and she froze at her father's intense gaze. She looked at Jack who tried to minimize eye contact. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards his car and Jacob got out while Jack stayed a few feet away, not wanting to intrude.

"Jack."

"Yah dad?"

"Sam and I need to talk. Is it all right if we go to a cafe near by?"

"You know the rules, no talking about your travels."

"Thanks."

Jack nodded. Yeah he was so going to get in trouble for this. Getting into his car he could see how tense both Carters were. As they got into Sam's car he could see Jacob's expression had changed from calm and relaxed to a controlled and angry scowl. Jack was happy he wasn't going to be there to witness that confrontation but for some reason he worried. For which Carter he didn't know.

The car was eerily quiet and Sam felt like a five year old about to be scolded by her dad for doing something wrong, even though she was not a five year old. She was a grown woman, she had control of her own life and no matter how angry Jacob was, she was allowed to do as she pleased and wouldn't take any kind of reprimand from her father. Her leaving the Air Force would be a sore subject; she had no doubt about that.

Arriving at the small cafe, they picked a secluded booth were they could talk in a semi private location, even though they weren't going to talk about the Stargate or Tok'ra, slips of the tongs were unavoidable.

"It's nice to see you again dad."

"It's good to see you too Sam. I wrote a letter to you whenever I came to visit. I hope you got them?"

"Yes I ...Daniel dropped them off yesterday."

"Not even an address…"

"It's complicated."

She had left nothing behind, not a clue of were she was going or what she was doing. Even though Jacob had heard from her why she was leaving at the time, the thought of her not leaving any way of communication never crossed his mind.

"I can see that. So why come back?"

"To be honest I'm trying to figure that out myself."

"What does your husband say to all this?"

"He...he is happy with it."

He could hear the doubt and hesitation in her voice. The way she averted her eyes and the body language spoke volumes of how her marriage was going and Jacob tried to get his temper under control. He knew the signs and knew what to expect. The marriage was not a happy one and would not last, of that he was sure. Sam's whole demeanor told him that she would be the one to end it.

"And you?"

"I'm happy."

"Were you even planning on telling me I had a grandson?"

"It was never my intention to hurt you, any of you."

"I have more of a relationship with the adopted child of a man who practically lives his life underground."

She winced at that and closed her eyes. Mark had told her that Jacob had visited him a couple of times, asked about her even. Her brother didn't know where she lived. Just a phone number in case of emergencies. She knew that even Mark was beginning to wonder if introducing her to Pete had been such a good idea.

"I live with what I did every day Dad! Do you have to make this harder? I made a choice; I chose having a life, being normal for a change is that so wrong?"

"I wish that I was at least included in your new life."

"Dad you were... away, hardly ever around. I didn't make this decision with out thinking of the consequences. I went in with eyes wide open."

"So why come back? Why try to reconnect with your old life?"

"I made a mistake in not including you and my friends in my new life. That doesn't mean I lost the right to try and fix it."

"Life is not that easy, Sam. You hurt a lot of people when you left."

"Don't you think I know that?"

They both took a deep breath and tried to calm themselves, but Jacob was not going to alienate Sam. He had done that with Mark, he was not going to repeat the same mistake twice, with his daughter. She was back and he wanted to be a part of his daughter's life and of her son's life. He wanted to be a grandfather to this kid. As they continued to talk there was no more discussion about her past actions and soon the conversation diverted off into more pleasant business.

He was glad when the invitation came for dinner and introductions. He had to clear it with Jack of course and she understood that. What surprised Jacob and brought him to an even more confused state of mind was his daughter's plan of applying to the SGC as a civilian consultant. He wondered if Jack knew.

"Walter what is this?"

"They're Doctor Carter's forms sir."

"I can see that Walter. What I want to know is why she is listed as chief lab technician ?"

"That is what she is applying for sir."

"Get me General Hammond!"

Janet had heard the rumors and was now talking to a really angry five foot tall genius rambling about how she was going to be replaced by a blonde who had left them years ago. Janet chuckled and tried to reassure her that she was not going to be replaced by Sam. After all Carter had been out of the loop for five years, and in those years things had changed. Despite that fact Hailey did not seem happy.

"But what if the General gives in to the brass?"

"He is not that kind of man."

She knew that but also knew of the special place Samantha Carter held in his heart. As the two women began to talk, General Hammond began to listen and in the end he understood Jack's point of view. Samantha Carter was going to be working at the SGA, but under Major Hailey's expert eyes. Even though Sam was good and an expert on the Gate, things had changed and she needed to catch up. Until that time Hailey was still the lead scientist.

By 2300 hours Jack O'Neill was surrounded by SG-1, and Janet, Siler and Walter who had been informed of the news. There was an eerie silence and Jack could see the worry on Daniel and Hailey's faces, and the uncertainty in Janet and Teal'c. Siler and Walter were neutral as always.

"Look Hailey, you're in charge ok?"

"I am?"

"Yeah, I know Carter will catch, up but she will be here to help you on your work load. After all you're a field officer, kid."

"I was worried sir."

"Well now that that is settled let's move on to more important business. The SGA's yearly get together is coming up so what shall we do?"

He smiled when he saw the faces of the people around him light up. It was only 20 days away and as Walter and Siler began to dish out ideas, SG-1 alongside Janet began to make the arrangements. Of course this year it was going to be held in the park. As always a bbq and all around get together with everyone on base was a nice distraction. The base would be on limited personnel, thanks to the Pentagon and Hammond's yearly inspection and re-evaluations.

They sent their own people to check on the SGA's whole operation and system's upgrades and Hammond would be supervising everything so the worry that some goon would sneak something out or in was not likely. It had been a yearly tradition since the President had made the call. They risked too much and worked like no others to protect them. Everyone at the SGA deserved a day off.

"General, phone."

"All right people keep working on it. I have to take this."

Going to his office he smiled when he saw Janet frown at something Siler had suggested. Picking up the receiver he smiled when he heard Jacob's voice on the other side.

"Jacob, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Was wondering if I could skip dinner with you guys."

"Yeah it's okay. You'll have to make it up to April, but its okay. I'll take her to Aunt Janet's place."

"Thanks Jack. Tell her I'll make it up to her."

"Okay Jacob. Later!"

Getting to her car, Sam noticed Jacob was a bit hesitant. After all he was going to meet Pete for the second time and was going to meet her son for the first.

"Don't be nervous dad, they will love you."

"I hope."

"What did Jack say?"

"He is okay with it as long as I don't speak about my travels and I make it up to April."

"Make it up to April?"

"Yeah, I promised I was going to help her with her homework. The kid's a bundle of energy, but Jack told me he was going to take her to Janet's for dinner."

"Janet's?"

"Yeah, Janet is April's favorite person after Teal'c of course."

"I see."

He noticed the way her shoulders tensed and the way she moved in her seat. He wondered and Selmak laughed.

You humans are hopeless

continued


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter in the past

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 12

" SG-1 "

Three days back and she was reeling from the news of Sam's absence. Everyone was still in shock and she could see her friend would be missed by all. The base wasn't the same and Sam's old lab now lay abandoned, no replacement in sight and Jack was still getting an ear full from the President. Pretty much everyone was angry. After all he had let her go; the world renowned expert on the Stargate was gone.

That had been a major blow, not only to his career but Janet believed it had cost him even more personally. The air force didn't take kindly to losing one of their best officers and Jack was going to get more than a reprimand on his record. She wondered how General Hammond was going to deal with all this, or for that matter the President.

The other thing was SG-1 and how they were going to operate. Sam had been the new commanding officer. Now SG-1 had no commanding officer or scientist on their team. That worried Janet. SG-1 was the lead team and now there was no SG-1 and that would affect everyone. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the office of Jack O'Neill and noted his down cast expression.

"So…"

"Tough week."

"I can see that. How you holding up sir?"

"Not too bad since I have single handedly broken SG-1 up, lost our expert on the Gate and other things and now have the brass angry at me."

"So tough week?"

"Oh yeah."

"Lunch?"

He smiled and nodded. The thing he needed the most right now was to relax and forget about everything that was going on. Still she was worried about him. He had been sleeping less and the pressure to find two new members of SG-1 was weighing him down. Not only that but she knew that re-grouping SG-1 was going to be hard and she didn't even know how the others were going to react.

There was a tension with the remaining members of SG-1 that Jack didn't like. They looked at him as if blaming him for what had happened with Carter. It hurt, but Jack O'Neill was a master of emotions. He knew how to hide them and how to use them to his advantage. So it was easier that when he was with his old friends he was strictly professional. The introduction of Hailey to the team came as no surprise since Sam had been preparing the girl. She was more than qualified.

Teal'c was put in charge and SG-1 became a 3 man team. It would get difficult sometimes, but that is how it had to be. And even though his friends were hurt by the way he was acting, Jack O'Neill knew that they needed time as did he. This was not a time to get together and be with each other as friends. That would bring too many memories and the all too painful realization that Samantha Carter was no longer with them.

So he waited it out and Janet was with him, helping him and lending her ear whenever he needed to unload. She helped him with his adoptive daughter and in time Daniel and Teal'c had put aside Carter's desertion and had invited him for beer and pizza. Hailey was invited as was Janet. It was hard to do this team bonding get together and Hailey knew it but she stayed strong and did her best. This was her team now; she needed to be part of it. Her determination paid off.

SG-1 was back, the wound and betrayal had not left, but it was slowly beginning to heal and with time they would try to forget, try to understand. But for now Daniel didn't speak to Jack O'Neill about what he was feeling. Teal'c didn't bring Sam up in any conversations and Janet followed their example. Jack needed to be angry, to feel betrayed and to be allowed to hurt in his own way. That's how Jack O'Neill was.

The man loved Samantha. Janet and Teal'c knew this and even though Daniel Jackson had not been present in the zatark testing, he was no fool and had seen through their so called professional relationship. Even though he didn't know how deep it ran or how strong it was, he knew that what Sam had done had hurt Jack more than it had hurt any of them. She had left them behind and Jack felt more than betrayed by her actions.

Yet he didn't break and Daniel's fears of him becoming the man he had first met all but vanished when he saw how Jack was with his adopted daughter, with them and when he was in General mode. He was not the same man he had once known, he was not the same man who would take all the pain and bottle it up until it destroyed him. No, this man was different. He let go of the pain and made himself stronger not for himself but for those around him.

"Tough week?"

"Jacob came to visit."

"I...wow."

"Yeah... damn it Daniel, I don't want to go through this every time one of our allies contacts us."

"I know...but why do I get the feeling there is something more going on?"

"I'm in trouble Danny."

"Jack?"

"The big wigs are going to arrange a meeting with me and go over my command decisions up until this point. If they don't agree with my actions I will be removed from the SGC."

Letting go of Carter, accepting her resignation, was the stupidest and most moronic thing he had even done or at least that's what the brass told him over the phone. They had demanded he seek her out, find her and bring her back. But how could he? How could he ruin and destroy what she wanted? He couldn't and he accepted the consequences.

"This is bad."

"Hammond will vouch for me, but losing Carter…"

There was hell to pay, but nothing was done. There would be no more promotions for him, no more career advancement and no more favors from the Pentagon and the big Generals, but the court martial was a formality, a reprimand, a warning that if he screwed up again he was getting kicked out of the SGC. It wasn't said, but he got the message all to clear.

SG-1 was another problem, but Janet had helped, reminded him of Carter's apprentice. Young Jennifer Hailey, as brilliant as Samantha Carter but twice as stubborn and with an attitude to match. Fortunately for Jack O'Neill, the girl admired him and with the promise of being in the lead team, he hoped he had the upper hand.

"So today is the day?"

"Yes."

"Nervous?"

"Nope."

"I'm surprised."

"Why?"

"She is smarter than most people on base Jack."

"Don't worry doc, I handled Carter for almost nine years. I think I can handle a Lieutenant."

Yeah it was a stretch to have a Lieutenant on the prime team, but the girl needed to be with the best if she were to become the best and beside that, she was probably the only one who could match Carter in both brains and brawn. As he headed towards his office he smiled when he saw the Lieutenant already waiting there, a nervous scowl on her face.

"Lieutenant Hailey, at ease."

She was nervous, he knew. He motioned for her to sit down, opened the file in front of him and smiled making light conversation and asking basic, normal questions, to help to ease the tension out of the room. Just what he needed so he could drop the news to the girl.

"Just here to tell you that you do good work and I'm giving you a field commission with an SG team."

"Sir?"

"I think you're ready and with Teal'c's and Daniel's help…"

"SG-1? Sir!"

"You don't think you're ready?"

"I… I don't know Sir. I've only been on field duty on research missions, not in combat situations."

"You do as you're told and you will be ok."

"Yes Sir."

What else could she say? No, to the General, to the man who had once risked his life to save her life and that of the others? No, to being on the primary team? No to the man who had shown her more than one way to be a soldier, how to follow the rules while still being true to yourself? No, she couldn't say no, so with a smile she nodded and became the third member of SG-1.


	13. Chapter 13

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 13

"First day back "

Jacob, Selmack, Pete, a cringing Sam and a confused kid watching the spectacle were all in the same room. Aron didn't know the old man, never heard of him and was awkward around him. They told him he was his grandfather. Aaron wasn't too sure and he wasn't the only one uncomfortable with it. Sam could see that Pete, Jacob and Aron were uncomfortable and by the look her father had, he was more uncomfortable then they were.

This is truly awkward Jacob. We should end this.

She wanted this.

So is this your revenge? To alienate her and her family for what she did to you?

I am not here for that Sel. I... You're right.

He thought everything was going to work out, wanted everything to just be fine between them, but things weren't that easy. The boy barely talked to him or took notice, her husband was distant and nervous and Sam just looked on with hesitation and doubt in her eyes. Soon after, she went into the kitchen to make some coffee. Selmak was a master of timing and Jacob followed.

She knew just by his following her that he was leaving and it hurt. Neither had tried, neither of them knew how to deal with this and it had been a miserable failure, a disaster. Pete was unresponsive, Aron was dismissive and she just stood there watching the car crash in slow motion.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry it didn't turn out... better."

"Yeah, me to."

"So… listen, I'll see you around ok?"

"Yeah, ok dad."

A short goodbye and he was off. Pete looked at his wife, an apology ready but she just pushed past him and walked into her study to be alone. She needed to be alone and think about how things had gotten to the point were she couldn't even hold a decent conversation with her dad in front of her husband, where she had to worry what her father or husband would say to one another.

To see the hurt in her father's eyes, her child's confused and annoyed look directed at his so call grandfather. Things had gotten to such a point where she was trapped within the house, within the decisions she had made. She knew she had wanted this some time ago, she wished for this. She had appreciated and to some degree enjoyed it. Now it was different. Everything was changing and the feelings she'd had so many years back began to rear their ugly head.

Yet no soonner did one problem end, than another came back. Her first day back at the SGC was in less than a week. She was going to be a civilian consultant working under her former apprentice. That had to be a first. Taking a deep breath she glanced at her work papers and clenched them in her hand. This was one hurdle she did not want to cross. She wanted to think of a way to tell him, to make him understand; she needed time. She knew she had a week but when the knock at the door presented itself she made a decision.

"Yes?"

"Honey, can I come in?"

"Sure Pete."

"So… how are you?"

She smiled at him and he sat down in one of her chairs. There was a tension there that had been growing in size ever since their marriage. It had been looming but now it had gotten to the point where neither of them liked it.

"Good... Pete... I..."

She handed him the forms. His face showed sings of surprise and annoyance. He was irritated. If anything, she knew how to read people and this one she could read like a book. Taking a deep breath she knew what was coming. The papers slammed on the table followed by his all too familiar out burst of anger.

"So I'm supposed to accept that?"

"Yes."

"And Aron?"

"He is old enough for a baby sitter."

He walked out of her study and her mind drifted to places and dreams that she should no longer be thinking about. She had hoped that when the week ended and her job began everything would at least be all right within her home.

Jack O'Neill, General of the SGA, friend to the Asgard, possibly the only man whom was respected throughout the galaxy, was picking up his friend and April's surrogate grandfather from the house of the woman he once cared for. Behind him his daughter's laughter filled his ears and her questions made him cringe.

"So Dad, why is Grandpa calling us so early?"

"Don't know."

"So we are having dinner with him?"

"I guess."

"Can we have spaghetti?"

"We'll see."

The man in question was standing in the drive way of the house, waiting for him. Jack shook his head. Things had gone badly if Jacob was waiting for them outside. That meant that the get together had been a disaster. Not good. As soon as the car stopped moving April laughed and rushed towards her grandfather. From within the house, Sam looked at the three and wondered just how much things were different at the SGC.

Jacob smiled at Jack who lifted April into his arms. But Jack could tell the old man wasn't looking so good. The night had gone badly, Jack could tell and as a worried April touched his face he smiled at her and Jacob approached him, a sad smile on his face.

"You ok Grandpa?"

"I'm fine kiddo just tired."

"We're having spaghetti for dinner."

He smiled at the little girl and Jack handed the girl to Sam's father who smiled and nodded.

"Bad night?"

"Later, right now I need to make it up to a certain girl."

April smiled and together they walked towards Jack's car. Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Yeah, things were going to be different at the SGC.


	14. Chapter 14

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 14

" RESIGNATION "

He was her most trusted friend and commanding officer. Her feelings had always been off when it came to him. Since the first day she'd met and challenged him, she'd known that the legendary Jack O'Neill was one individual she was not going to be able to handle. He was brash and exciting; he respected her and viewed her as a soldier and a scientist. Her gender came last and she had to admit that she felt like a fool after that whole incident.

More so when she barfed on the other side of the gate. Sam had learned that this man did not lie when it came to things regarding his people, or soldiers under his command. He was hard headed and strong willed. She'd thought he would make fun of the fact that after her bravado, she had done exactly what his men had said she would do. Yet when the moment came and none of his men made fun of the situation to say she was surprised would have been an understatement.

Jack O'Neill was not like most soldiers, not the type she had encountered in her early days at the Academy. And the ones that followed this man were extraordinary in their own way. She respected him for it. He didn't condescend to her; he didn't treat her any differently or give special care to her. She was a soldier under his command, and she was expected to perform like her training had prepared her to. That is all that he ever asked.

She could still smile at the fact that, unlike others, he always gave them time to analyze and look over ruins and devices. Even when she forgot her military training and got submerged in her scientist mode he always gave her slack, but she never thought he did it because she was a woman or because she was a scientist. He did it to be fair because with Daniel on his team he needed to balance them out and give them their respective time frames.

She was lucky to have learned from him and as she walked towards his office she repeated the words she was going to speak to him. She would tell him that she was going to marry Pete that she was going to go to Denver with her fiancée, get married and live happily ever after. She'd wanted this for a long time now and it was time to get it together, her dream of having a family.

"Sir."

"Carter? Hey what's up?"

She was somber just standing in his doorway not taking a step towards him and not taking a step backwards. Her courage faltered and he knew that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be bad. For whom, he didn't know. Taking a deep breath, he motioned for her to step inside his office and sit down.

"I want to resign."

"Oh?"

She closed her eyes and began to fiddle with her forms, handing them to him. She saw his expression and knew this was going to be one hell of a battle. He threw the papers on his desk and closed his eyes, trying to understand what the hell was going on.

"Pete and I... we want to start a family."

"And this involves you leaving the SGC?"

"It involves me leaving Colorado Springs."

"What? You're moving? Carter, Hell, do you realize what you're asking of me?"

She did and that was why she was asking him, because if anyone would take her resignation he would. She knew that and she would use that to her advantage. She would use him, her friend, if she had to. She was going to use the one man who meant too much to her. She swallowed hard trying not to vomit, to get the bitter taste of her mouth.

"Please Sir, I... I need to do this."

He would accept it because it was her; he would do this for her because of the way he felt for her. She wanted to die, using his emotions against him, using him to shield her, to protect her. She had to deliver the final nail, the final words that would make him take her forms, that would give her her resignation.

"I love him sir."

She tried to hide the surprise she felt at seeing the hurt in his eyes, she tried so hard to ignore him, but she failed. She saw him pick the forms up, read them through and give her a second set, copies of her discharge. She smiled and thanked him. As soon as she was in the hallway, she ran and never looked back.

She was happy with her life. Her only regret was that it meant leaving her friends behind, but it was nice to have someone to hold her, to talk to, to be there for her and to tell her that he loved her. Her new life was nice, she loved it and she hated it, what she had done, the way she had left, the way she had ended her nine year relationship with her friends and family.

Yet a new life was what she wanted. Her old life and her ties to it were of no importance. After all, she was never going to see them again, right ...


	15. Chapter 15

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 15

"SGA"

Stargate Alliance. The name had changed, the place had changed, more security and new scanners that detected any and all kinds of hazards and possible dangers. At first Samantha Carter didn't know why the increased precautions, yet as soon as she stepped inside, it became clear why such high measures were taken and why the SGC was now SGA.

The first few floors were nothing new, yet the deeper she went the more she realized how things had changed. Jaffa were dressed in SGA BDUs, while aliens that she both knew and didn't know were walking around, discussing matters she didn't understand and she was thankful her skills were more technical than political.

"Mrs. Carter, this way please."

"I thought we were going to see the General."

"Change of plan, ma'am."

In another room Jack closed his eyes and shook his head. He was supposed to be meeting with Sam. Instead the Re'tu had surprised him with a visit. Something he always loved, seeing as how half the time he didn't even know where they were.

"So is this a meeting?"

"We are waiting for the relocation."

"Ah how is the new home world coming along?"

"It is going quite well O'Neill."

"Great!"

He was bored and Samantha Carter was astonished. The lab was a masterpiece of engineering. Not only was it the most advance technical thing she had ever seen, it had every thing she had ever wanted and some machines that she didn't even know what they did. Taking a deep breath she noticed that the petite woman was smiling up at her, yet the smile was hollow and without warmth.

"Mrs. Sanahan welcome to the SGA."

"Hailey, hello... ah thank you, but it's Carter. I kept my name."

"Oh, ok. Well since you're going to be working here, your work area is over there."

In A small corner on the far off wall, a desk was clean and ready for use with all the materials and machines she would need. It was perfect and yet it felt as if she was being punished, as if she was back in the first grade and sent to the corner for something bad she had done.

"What will I be doing?"

"Well we will start you off doing diagnostics and catching up with the new technology we have here."

"This is ancient tech?"

"Yes and now well… we kind of have a diversity of technology. The General is the most qualified in that area but he is busy enough as it is. So it is up to us to deal with all this."

"The General?"

Hailey groaned and slammed her hand to her forehead. Of course she wouldn't know and now she had just blurted one of the SGA's most important secrets to a civilian. She shook her head and was about to answer when none other than Jack O'Neill entered her lab. The man smiled at her and raised an eyebrow while the tall gray skinned man beside him looked at her with confused eyes.

"Why is she harming herself?"

"Probably did something wrong."

"I... well… ah Doctor Carter is here."

She smiled and pointed at Sam who smiled and waved shyly at the General. He nodded and turned to the gray skinned man beside him. Something about him was familiar to Sam. She just couldn't remember were she had seen him before.

"I think you remember Carter right?"

"Indeed although her name has changed has it not?"

"Yeah well… not really." Jack didn't explain further. "Ah Sam this is Thor."

The tall gray skinned alien bowed and stood. Sam now remembered where she had seen him. The body was different but it still resembled that body which had been shown to her by Freir right after Daniel had ascended. It had been in stasis then, but now it looked as if that body had been unfrozen and was walking around, as if it had never been frozen in the first place.

"Thor? So I guess that frozen body did help?"

"On the contrary, it was O'Neill's…"

"A-ah! That's enough, remember buddy, civilians."

"I see. Very well then."

She frowned but understood she wasn't allowed to know what had happened. Even though she thought she had a pretty good idea what was going on, she decided to abide by the rules. She wanted to be on their good side after all, not their bad side. Taking a deep breath she stood there, watching Jack and Hailey talk and Thor glancing at the two with wonderment.

"So here's the report and Carter is officially your responsibility."

"Ah, okay Sir."

"Now Carter, you and Hailey get along ok?"

"Ah, yes Sir."

"O'Neill, Janet Frasier will be most upset if we are late."

"Right, well Sparkplug, see ya latter. Oh and you still owe me for that last game."

"I paid you back in full!"

Jack smiled and left her fuming. Sam wondered at how much things had changed and what kind of role each of her friends now played at the SGA. But before she could start reminiscing and thinking of what ifs, her attention was drawn back to her one time apprentice turned teacher. The petite girl smiled and told her what to do and before long Sam felt like her old self, working on devices alien to her and trying to figure just how they worked. She was back and she liked it.

"I don't like it."

"Janet!"

"With all due respect Jack O'Neill, butt out."

"But April was looking forward to…"

"I do believe the small lady was…"

"No. You, Jack O'Neill, and you, Thor, should know better than to bring her here when we're in the middle of a conference."

"But Jan."

Oh she knew the sweet talk and charms of Jack O'Neill and she was well guarded against them. So it did not work and April's visit would not happen. Instead she would go pick up the girl and take her out with Jacob. After all, the old man still had to make up for messing up dinner. She smiled at the way Thor's eyes became down cast.

"Don't worry Thor, you can always visit her or beam her up if you will."

"That however requires my ship which I do not have at the moment."

"This might help."

A small mimic device appeared in Jack's hand and he smiled at his friend. Handing Thor the device changed the gray skinned alien into a tall man. He smiled and gave his friend a thumbs up.

"Ah, now may I join you, Doctor Frasier, in picking up April?"

"Of course you can. Go get Jacob."

Jack smiled and left. He needed to deal with some other delegations and he still had the whole Daniel and Teal'c thing. Taking a deep breath he walked towards Daniel and Teal'c who smiled at him at the same time and he groaned. He knew what those conspiratory smiles meant. Shaking his head he groaned as Daniel's smile gave away their plan.

"Soo Jack, you ready for this Thursday?"

"Ah guys, not again!"

"I do believe you are in need of a night of guys."

"That's guys' night out Teal'c, and yes beside its girls' night and Janet has offered to baby sit."

This was getting on Jack's nerves. Blind dates set ups and now hanging out in places where women went to look for dates. He was too old to be picking up women and not to mention he was not into the whole dating business. That part of his life was over and Daniel should know that. Teal'c should know that, but it appeared that both of them were interested in neither what he had to say, nor what he thought of the whole thing.

Truth was he felt too old to be doing this and frankly, he was tired of being set up with women who were as interested in him as he was interested in them, which was not at all. Sure he had some promising starts but they all fell apart as soon as they found out about April. And that was a done deal for him. Others were more honest and when they saw him either he could tell or they told him that he wasn't what they were expecting.

"Here I was hoping I could spend some time with Janet and April."

"Oh come on. You spend more time with those two than you do with us. Besides, Jacob has to make it up to April remember?"

"You guys will be the…"

"Death of me. I tell you the death of me!" Hailey entered the room.

Hailey rushed towards them and stopped right in front of him with a worried Sam following behind her. They seemed to be in a hurry, but Hailey stopped when she saw the General and as always saluted him.

"Hailey come on, stop that!"

"You think she would learn after the tenth time!" Jack sighed.

"Its proper conduct you know?"

"Indeed it is."

Hailey smiled and thanked Teal'c who bowed and then froze when he saw the blonde ex-colonel. His whole demeanor changed and he glanced at Jack who closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was going to happen sooner or later. Daniel gulped and l waited for something to happen, anything.

"Ah well we ah… got to go. Walter and Siler… you know sir, how they are… and yeah…" HaileySam mentioned.

"Its okay, go ahead. Nice to see you too Carter"

"Thanks... thank you, good to see you... all of you."

"Yeah, we'll see you around Sam."

"Mrs. Shanahan."

"It's still Carter…" Sam said, but Teal'c had already bowed and left, leaving the explanation for Daniel and Jack's ears. There was a fraction of a second before Hailey snapped them out of their small shock and took Carter with her to help with whatever Siler had done to the Gate. Jack looked at Daniel who just shook his head. Yeah, it had been harsh, but Hell, both of them had been expecting something much worse.

"That was…" Daniel said.

"Unexpected? Weird?"

"Something else."

"Yeah. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought isn't it?"

"Oh yeah!"


	16. Chapter 16

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 16

"BROKEN"

How would you feel if all your life people had told you that whenever you hit hard time you could always count on them and then when the time came they let you down? Would it hurt? Would it make you feel betrayed and lost, would it make you doubt that person's sincerity and honesty? Fact is one's reaction could not be determined.

Hurt would be an accurate way to describe it. Hurt at seeing the person who promised to look out for you and be there for you shun you away and find comfort in another, when you yourself need that comfort, when she had promised to give it to you and then didn't. You would be hurt and betrayed and would distance yourself from that person.

Cassandra Frasier felt like that. Samantha Carter had always promised to be there for her and now she had found comfort in another and for all intents and purposes, Cassandra felt left out. She was no longer Sam's friend, she was a guest in her home and even though she knew this was not the truth, she couldn't help but feel as if it was and that hurt.

In confidence and without letting Sam know, she went to the one man whom she could call father. She spoke to him and even though he did not understand why she would want to do this, he could not deny her.

"It's the right thing to do."

"Sure, kid, sure…"

"Oh come on Jack! I don't want to be the third wheel. You know it feels weird enough as it is and then what if I wake up and… oh gross mental picture!"

She shivered and Jack smiled. Sure he knew the whole deal, hell even he didn't want to picture anything, but the thing was he knew the girl's whole laid back attitude and voice was an act. One he knew all to well and it hurt him to see her like this. He just wished he could help her.

"Yeah, yeah. I get the picture. Ah Cass, you know this is going to hurt Carter, right? You're like a daughter to her."

"Yeah, but oh come on Jack we both know and I think you will agree, that I do not need to be there when the whole night thing starts happening."

"Too much information Cass, way too much info!"

"Serves you right!"

They discussed this for a couple of more days. In truth he wanted to give the girl more time. She needed more time to think about her decision and yet he knew she wouldn't change her mind and he couldn't do any thing to change it for her. He would have to see Carter and tell her, even though she herself had been on the aloof side of things.

Cassandra knew Jack's act all too well, hence why she would not pressure him to go and talk to Sam. He would do it when the time was right and when she dropped subtle hints. Until then, she would have to keep living in Sam's house and would have to keep a smiling face and act normal. After all, Sam wasn't herself, she didn't want to add to whatever was distracting Sam.

"Cass, dinner is ready."

"Coming Sam!"

Entering the kitchen she smiled at the woman serving her dinner. Some times things appeared to be the way they used to be, but when the front door opened and a man entered the house Cassie felt like an intruder and Sam could tell. Cassandra might be a good actor, but not as good as Jack.

"Cass it's going to be ok. I just want you to get accustomed?"

"I know, it's weird you know."

"You'll get used to it. That's why I want him to be here? So you can get to know him and stuff."

"Yeah, whatever…"

Pete entered and there was silence. A silent dinner and nothing more. Sam tried to start up conversations, but failed and Cassie could feel the tension rising. She didn't know if she was the cause of it, or if it was between Sam and Pete. All she knew was that she needed to get out of there and so she excused herself despite Sam's protest.

"You ok, honey?" (Who's talking here?)

"I just… I don't know how to help her…"

"You're doing enough Sam. Don't push yourself."

"It's frustrating, you know? This whole situation is!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's going to be okay."

It wasn't and she couldn't tell Pete what was bothering Cassandra. She couldn't tell him how every time he came home, Cassie would go to her room, how uncomfortable it was for her to sleep with him in the same bed knowing Cassie was in the house and how somehow she felt like she was doing something wrong. Closing her eyes she let Pete hold her and she was just glad that there was someone there to do so.

"Sometimes I… I just don't know Pete…"

When Janet had been hurt, Sam's world had frozen. She could have died. Janet was in an emergency room, her state critical and all she could do was wait and hope that she wouldn't die. She dreaded the thought of telling Cassie that her second mother had died, she hated that fact, but luckily Janet didn't die and Cassie was okay. They were okay.

"She is going to be fine, Cass."

She remembers telling her in the hospital room were just a few feet away, Janet and Jack's bodies were.

"I just... I wish I could…"

She had understood the girl's pain and as Cassie left to go get coffe, Sam had wandered into Jack O'Neill's room and found comfort in his arms.

"When that staff blast hit you…"

There had been no need for words but the embrace ended all to soon. As she stepped out of the room she'd smiled at Cassie and the girl handed her a cup of coffe.

"Jack ready?"

"He will be in a minute."

Her cell phone rings and Cassie looked on wondering who it was. She had though it was Daniel or Teal'c, but when Sam smiled apologetically to her and turned away she knew who it was.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'll see you in a few."

"Sam?"

Samantha Carter's eyes had told her all she needed to know. The blonde smiled apologetically and put away her phone

"I need to go. I'll drop you and Jack off."

"Where you going?"

"I forgot I've got this thing…"

"Oh."

Her tears come now and Pete hugs Sam closer to him. He wondered why and what was going on and while Sam just cursed in her mind. She knew that things were not going to be okay. Not since that day. No, that day was when it all had gone to hell in a hand basket, when things had began to change.

"I just don't know how to deal with her. Sometimes I just…"

"Shhh, it's okay Sam."

Cassie called Jack that night and told him that it just wasn't working out and he told her that it was okay, that he would talk to Carter that same week. Cassie hung up the phone and glanced at her door. Later, she wished she hadn't gotten thirsty when she did. Then maybe she wouldn't have heard them talking.

As promised, next morning Cassie could see the worry on his face. She had thought that stopping by would give Jack an extra push. Yet, now looking at him, she saw nothing but worry. He didn't know how he was going to handle this, she knew that much, but she also knew that he would do it for her.

"You okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking that?"

"This is going to be hard. Carter is Carter, you should know that."

Cassie's eyes were sad and he changed the subject, asking her about when was she moving in and when was she going to start packing? The girl smiled grateful that Jack had changed the way the conversation was heading and after a while Jack was out the door and she was in his home cleaning out his old guest room, that would soon be her own.

"Carter, can I talk to you?"

"Sir?"

"Yeah I... well it's kind of... look, can I drop by your place? I think it will be easier."

"What's going on?"

"It's about Cassie."

She stood in her living room waiting for her commanding officer to arrive. Cassie had done something, or had told him something that now he needed to tell her. Was it something about Cassie's boyfriend, was she pregnant? Was that why she was acting so weird? Sam didn't know, but as the all too familiar truck approached her home, she found herself filled with worry.

Jack's face was somber and resigned. It didn't give anything away, but she could tell what he was about to tell her was anything but good news. Sitting down beside him, she could feel the conflict the man was having. He was nervous even if his body said otherwise. He was beyond nervous and filled with worry. What ever it was, it seemed Colonel O'Neill didn't know how to approach the subject.

"Sir, what ever Cassie has done I'm sure…"

"She wants to move out."

"Huh?"

"She doesn't want to be here with you... and him."

"I don't think she is old enough to go out on her own, sir. I mean, sure she is going to the local college but... she is not…"

"Carter… she's coming to stay with me… I'm sorry."

"It's okay I..."

"Look it's just that… well it's kind of weird, I mean you can…"

"It's better this way."

He could hear that Carter's voice was filled with determination. She was a good actress, but she couldn't fool him and he could see there was something more on her face. Her eyes, they were filled with hurt and sadness. This was killing her. He was going to reach for her, but stopped. This was too close. He wasn't the one whom she had chosen to be there for her, he was just her friend.

"I'm sorry Carter."

"Don't be. I mean she is right after all. Me and Pete and all… Yeah this is for the best."

She was putting up a brave front. She was being strong and trying to move on as soon as possible, trying to see things from the positive and not the negative side. Yet even though he understood that and could see it in her eyes, Cassie could not. From the next room she could only hear, not see the woman who was hurting just as much as she was.


	17. Chapter 17

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 17

"HUSBAND"

She smiled and played with her son, laughing. She watched him ramble on about his day and about the new baby sitter she had gotten him. After a long and hard day at work this was what she needed, to spend time with her son and get re-energized and when the door to the house open and her husband walked in it was shattered.

"You're home."

"I finished early."

"About time."

Four weeks and she had been growing tired of this of his attitude, of him always throwing her work in her face and always giving her an attitude. Taking a deep breath she tried to resume talking with her child, but it was no use. The moment had been broken and Pete turned on the television, the sound filling the small room. Aron smiled at her and she hugged him.

"Come on, you can tell me about your day while I fix dinner. How's that sound?"

"Yeah, April and I were…"

"Ah come on champ, aren't you tired of ranting on about school? Come watch some TV with your pops."

Aron smiled and looked at his mom. On TV there was a sports match. Baseball or something. Sam nodded. She knew that Aron was going to be bored, but the last thing she needed right now was another of Pete's moods to ruin the somewhat calm state of her home at the moment. Unfortunately Pete had seen the small exchange and grunted.

"So now he has to ask you?"

"What are you talking about Pete?"

"Aron, please go to your room."

"Dad it's okay I…"

"Aron, do as you father tells you."

The boy nodded and headed up the stairs. Sam turned towards her husband and waited for his anger. Over the years she had seen that he was the kind of husband who liked to be the provider and have the woman be a home body. It had worked at the beginning. She hadn't been working then and she had always been the one trying to make it work. For a while, when Aron arrived, they had been happy.

Most couples are, but after that, it began to change. She was busy with Aron; he didn't help. He didn't spend time with her. It was as if he had done his job and now he was just maintaining them because his plans had been accomplished. He had gotten a wife, had a child and now everything was set. She would remain at home, take care of Aron and he would provide, but it had all changed now and when he had seen that, he had tried to accommodate her.

"He doesn't listen to me, is that it?"

"Pete you know it's not like that."

"I've seen how this move has changed you Sam. You used to be happy with what you had, what we had was enough."

"I…This is not about that Pete. I was happy, still am."

"Then why the job, why the move? I see how you treat Aron, how he talks about that girl and her father."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't play coy with me. You think I haven't seen how you act around him? How you went back to him."

"What! What on Earth are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about him. I'm talking about Jack"

"Jack? Jack O'Neill?"

She understood now and saw him for what he was. The attitude, the anger and the way he was treating her. He was jealous, he thought she was having a thing with Jack. Shaking her head she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. He had misunderstood everything. She had been trying to become friends with them again and Pete had completely miss construed the facts. She smiled and turned to him.

What she saw floored her. His face turned into that of shear anger, his eyes were ablaze with fury. He rushed towards her and grabbed her by the shoulders, his eyes piercing her. She was unable to move or speak this was not the Pete she had known and loved, this was not the father of her child.

"It was all for him wasn't it? Maybe I should have done the background check on him.''

She was taken aback and he smirked. Pushing her down on the couch, he sat opposite of her and looked at his hands. He chuckled and shook his head.

"I should have followed you more. At least for a couple of more weeks. Maybe then I would have found out the truth."

"W-what truth?"

"You were sleeping with him."

"What…"

"Were you ever in love with me?"

Her hesitation was not out of uncertainty, but out of surprise at the questions and statements he had made. Yet it was enough and he bolted from the room leaving her sitting alone in her living room, reeling from every thing. He had followed her; he had done a back ground check on her and believed her to be sleeping with O'Neill. She closed her eyes and leaned back on her couch.

Almost five years of marriage and he still had doubts. He doubted her feelings for him and she wondered what the hell had she been thinking? What made her think that marriage was going to be all those things she believed them to be, a childhood fantasy of being forever loved and living happily ever after. She was a fool. Real life was anything but. She should have figured that out a long time ago.

"Mom?"

"Aron, it's okay. Your dad just went for a drive."

"He doesn't like April, does he?"

She smiled at the naivety of her son. He was brighter than most kids but he was still a child and she thanked God for that. She smiled and put on a brave front. She would try to follow the child's lead and tell him about why daddy didn't like April, but why he was wrong. She would not burden him or poison his mind against his father. No, she would explain and tell him.

Three hours and he had yet to return home. Taking a deep breath, she frowned. This had been going on for long enough. She was tired of it and she wasn't going to fool herself yet again. No, this time. Aron was big enough to understand and she had a steady job that paid well. She was not going to let this continue for both their sakes. She was going to make this right.

"Hello." Pete had called his old friend again.

"Hey I need another favor."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you know just like last time."

"Man I almost lost my job because of that!"

"Just one and dig deep."

"Yeah okay, what is it."

"Jack O'Neill. Need a background check on him."

He was going to find out about this General. He needed to know about him and as the phone went dead and he waited for the call back. Over in the Denver offices of the FBI his friend dug around and his whole system went red. His hands flew all over his key board and yet nothing. All he could see and all he could hear around him were murmurs.

"What is this?"

"The computer is flashing something?"

"Are we being hacked?"

"Get down to the computer main frame now!"

Panic began to rise in the office and as he stood and glanced at the cubicles and offices and saw the screens of the computers, all he saw was the same message. It had appeared on his screen first and his blood ran cold with realization. The last thing he thought before hearing the scream of his boss was to damn his friend.

"What the hell did you get yourself into?"

He was frozen; he knew it was all over and all the while in the offices all that could be seen on the screens of the computer, were the blazing red signs with letters flashing and an all too familiar warning and emblem of the United States' secret service.

RESTRICTED ACCESS

The words he would forever remember and curse. Meanwhile within the offices of the national security agency a man's hands worked on tracking the source and phone calls began to be made. The chief of staff was called and Generals were woken. The President was informed and all were assembled because there had been an incident. Someone had tried to access their files.

Someone had made an attempt to gather information on one agent. The President listened and wondered just what the hell was so important about this man. That was until he saw the files and the Generals told him about why this particular incident was of such importance and the President wondered if he was living in a movie. Espionage, secret mission cover ups and assassination this man had done it all.

"So gentlemen what shall we do about this?"

"We need to find and dispatch someone."

"Trace and find whomever did this see if it's a matter of national security."

"Very well, do what you have to gentlemen."

The meeting was adjourned and President Hayes walked to his office, reached for his phone and dialed an all to familiar set of numbers. He wondered if George was going to be angry for being out of the loop. Then again he was a General, he would understand.

"This is Hammond."

"George have you ever heard the tail of Black Dawn?"

"Sir?"

"I think we need to talk."


	18. Chapter 18

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 18

Interlude

"SPECIAL"

The Air Force always kept their eyes out for special candidates. When Jack O'Neill joined the Air Force they hadn't believed him to be such a candidate and yet he had proved himself time and time again. And so he was among the few who were accepted to be special ops and black ops trained. He had become their special project. Special missions, infiltrations, assassinations and things they would never in a million years admit to doing.

He was the perfect candidate, followed orders and took well to lessons, with a bit of a rebel side to him, always a trouble maker but got the job done. Yeah, they needed people like him. He had a twisted sense of honor and duty which allowed him to go through with his missions, even if it conflicted with his moral code.

Operation Black Dawn, operation Snake Eyes and operation Shade. He had been part of them all and had taken down every single target assigned to him. Jack O'Neill, the black sheep was the go to guy and he was good at it. Until he reached the assignment where everything changed and he faced an opponent as good as he. It was the Phoenix Foundation's special agent Murdoc, a rebel, a rouge who had gone astray.

MacGiver Angus, was Jack's cover, special agent of the Phoenix Foundation. Go in get the bad seeds out and destroy Murdoc. Everything went according to plan except for one thing. The MacGiver character used for cover wasn't allowed to kill and Jack O'Neill went soft. He questioned every mission, refused to leave anyone behind and did not, would not kill women and children. Not anymore. And so he retired from the Special Ops unit and married, had a normal life.

His kid died and once more he changed and he was perfect for the Air Force's suicide mission. Officers like him had been pushed and prodded and even when a Captain Carter was called to be allowed to go through, they denied it. This was a one way trip and they needed her here on Earth where it was safe for her to continue to work on their projects. After all, Jack O'Neill was an old war dog and she was a genius who developed weapons people only saw in science fiction.

"General I worked on it for two years, I made the program that operates the damn thing, I should be…"

"This has been decided, Captain."

"General West, why?"

"This is not an exploration, or peaceful greeting. This is a threat assessment. If we find hostiles we need a team who can take them on."

"And I am not ready sir? I…"

"Captain Carter, understand this. Jack O'Neill and his team are the best of the best. Senior officers, years of service under their belts and you're just a Captain."

They were right. She had read Jack O'Neill's file, what was available, that is, a simple file mentioning his decorations and awards. His service record was nothing but blank and she knew to not keep digging. He had black ops and special ops printed on his training sheet. She had backed off and watched as the team headed off into the unknown. She had seen this Jack and wondered how he would deal with the unknown.

"Have you read the reports?"

"Huh?"

"Aliens do exist."

" What! Let me see that."

She read with fascination and excitement the words on the paper and imagined this man and his team fighting aliens with advanced technology and wining. Taking down a creature who's ships were as big as the pyramids and who impersonated a God and not just any good, but Ra, the king of the Egyptian Gods.

"Wow!"

"Yeah, you can say that again."

"Can't believe it! It's almost out of a movie!"

O'Neill had been crowned the hero. A few years passed, and it became known that he had faked the report and had saved his friend and a whole bunch of people who didn't deserve to die, and Samantha Carter got a first hand look at what kind of man he was, and what he would do to make amends for sins she knew nothing of.

For eight years she had known almost everything about the man and never had she asked him about his past. No, she could never have done that. Not after the feelings he had for her and the way they confused the hell out of her. She always believed in him and thought of him as a friend and an incredible man. Yet when she started to see him as something more, she got scared and ran.

She did so because part of her believed him to be like Jonas Hansen. A crazy ex black ops colonel, who was one short step from having a God complex. Even though Jack had shown he was nothing like that, Sam still kept her distance and wondered about what could possibly be behind such a man. What could make him be so honorable and gentle, what drove him to be a good soldier and not a cruel one? He was friends with everyone on base and everyone respected him.

His experiences had molded him to become the man she had seen before her for eight years and yet before that, she knew nothing of him and so she kept away.


	19. Chapter 19

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 19

"DEGREES OF DESPARATION"

He was pissed. No, scratch that, he was beyond that. He was in a whole new plane of anger and they all knew it. Hell his whole demeanor screamed stay away or else. He was royally pissed; something had happened and he was not a happy camper. Walking towards his office, Daniel turned towards Walter, his look was one of pure worry and concern.

"Walter, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Some one got into the General's personnel file."

"What?"

That was huge and now Daniel knew why Jack was all over the place. Janet arrived next, some files at hand, ready to start the daily meeting with Jack. Only this time she was stopped by a very worried Daniel, who silently pointed at the General's office. She could see why he had stopped her. The General was anything but happy at the moment.

"Harriman, get your ass in here!"

The poor man's pale face turned a bright yellow as he walked in. Janet could see Jack's anger trying to break free. Yet every time it reached the breaking point, he held back and delivered orders that Walter was writing down. Fifteen minutes later, Jack O'Neill was out the door and Walter was in front of them.

"Well, the General is taking the rest of the week off. Ah… Colonel Roberts is in charge. He needs some one to look after April."

"That would be me and Cassie."

"Yeah I think so... I'm not supposed to talk about this but he... you're his best friends, I think you should know this but…"

"Walter!"

"The CIA sent a couple of guys to deal with the leak so... Jack is trying to stop them."

Cleaners. The Mafia had them, so did the government and they would send their best to deal with this leak and Jack was going to try to intercept them and find out everything he needed to know in order to save lives. Daniel nodded to Janet who approved his unspoken course of action. He rushed down to hallway following his friend and praying that he would listen to what he had to say.

Teal'c looked at Jack and nodded. He would help him in this quest and try to aid him no matter what. Yet as he reviewed the information it was quickly apparent who had requested the search. He did not like it and neither did Jack, but they had to establish that his motives were purely personal and not of the espionage kind.

"It would seem Pete Shanahan is nothing more than a pest. He is no danger to your government's security."

"I know that, you know that and they know that."

"Then for what purpose are we reanalyzing our facts O'Neill?"

"Because my government has a bad habit of making examples out of people like Pete, just to keep the others in line."

"I see… Should we not procure assistance from Daniel Jackson?"

"Yeah… about that… nice to know I'm needed"

Jack groaned and glared at Teal'c who just raised and eyebrow and did his half smirk deal. Jack just chuckled and threw a file at Daniel. Yeah the three of them could get to the facts better together, and show that Pete was nothing more than a jealous husband, who had run a background check on not only Jack, but Carter as well. That made him a two time offender.

"We've got all this and all we have as proof that he's not some criminal, is our word."

"He did hack into their systems and try to gather information which was un-attainable through proper channels… he is no more than a crook."

"He still shouldn't be put to death."

"Ok, so how do we stop these cleaners?"

"They sent Strife's kids. I can handle them."

"Are you certain?"

"I trained them."

The other two men nodded. Jack clenched his fists and took a deep breath. He needed to tell Carter that her life and possibly her kid's life was in danger, but his orders were clear and he knew that everyone in Pete's family was now considered a suspect. He took a deep breath and told Daniel to go ahead. He would go talk to Carter.

"Is that wise O'Neill?"

"Ah yeah, we should really think about that."

"Her kid is in danger Daniel."

The one weakness O'Neill had was children. Teal'c said no more and nodded as he began to walk away. Daniel however, glanced at his friend. If there was one thing that he worried about it was his friend's feelings and even though time had passed, he could see that Jack's emotions, even though distant, were still there.

"Jack."

"I know, but if it were my kid…"

Teal'c and Daniel arrived at the house and observed. Yeah there was definitely a black van in front. The house was probably bugged by now. Teal'c could see every entry point and every surveillance individual who was posted. He glanced at Daniel and pointed at the area. Daniel smiled. Yeah, his friend was an expert.

"This is one hell of a way to jump back in our lives."

"She has not."

"Teal'c, come on, she is back. We know why she joined up again with the SGA."

"Indeed, yet that does not mean she is back in our lives."

"Then what does it mean Teal'c?"

"Her intentions are unknown Daniel Jackson."

"So we shouldn't trust her? Come on Teal'c this is Sam, I know she kind of messed up but…"

"She did not mess up. I understood why she left. Her actions, however are another matter."

He was right, Daniel knew that, but he also knew Sam. She was his friend and even though they were on rough terms right now, he wasn't sure what the future held. But for now he needed to focus on helping her. Jack was right; this was more than Sam and their petty problems. This was about her child and life possibly being in danger for a mistake her husband had made.

Jack knew he needed to tell her, but first he needed to cover his ass. He smiled when he saw his sparkplug, Hailey, rushing towards him meeting him halfway through her lab. He knew she was smart and could figure out something was wrong from a mile away.

"Sir, Siler said…"

"Yeah, need your help, off the record."

"Of course Sir."

"I need you to find everything you can about Deluise, an FBI agent and his connection to Carter's husband."

"Right on it sir."

She was good, knew when not to ask questions. He liked that about her. He also liked the fact that the girl was as smart as Carter. Heading towards the lab he wondered just how he was going to tell Carter that her life and her son's life could be in danger because of her husband. What would she think and worse, what would her reaction be?

He knew not telling her was the worst he could do to her. That was why he was going to tell her, despite what his superiors said, despite the consequences, and for the life of him, he didn't know why he was doing it. Was it out of a sick sense of satisfaction at seeing her be betrayed by her beloved husband? Was he that petty? He didn't know, but he knew it was right to tell her. He could feel it.

"Sir?"

"Ah yeah, Carter I need to talk to you."

"If it's about the report that was due today I..."

No, it wasn't about the report. She could tell by the way he looked at her, the way his eyes betrayed his composure. Something was going to happen or had already happened. She sat on one of her stools, waiting for his news and as he spoke she began to feel confused and angry. What the hell had become of her life?


	20. Chapter 20

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 20 ( in the past )

Interlude

"REASONS"

Have you even tried to start a new? Have you ever wanted to just give up your life or wished for something more? One would think that saving the world and having adventures throughout the Galaxy was a dream come true, but it was far from it. Being tortured, wounded and hurt took is toll on both body and mind. Soldiers, both women and men fell prey to fatigue and had to be removed from the field.

Too much stress, or psychological damage was one. Physical injury was another. Many reasons could cause a soldier to be removed from active duty. And yet none of this applied to her and she knew as much. She was not injured physically, she was not psychologically damaged, nor did she have high battle stress. No, for her it was emotional. It was always about emotions. Everything came down to them, always had and always would.

She had doubted and questioned how she stayed in the field so many times, having been through so many things. She wondered and doubted if her performance was as it was in the beginning. She had seen her commanding officer and had followed his example after all. If years of black and special ops hadn't ruined him she could do the same right? No, she couldn't because unlike him, she had never known love, never had a family, never had someone to call her and ask how she was knowing that he was waiting for her back at home.

So she was tired and now it had all come down on her and it had been enough. Janet had been shot, Jack had been shot and in such a brief time, both of them could have been gone, taken from her, never to return and what would she have then? A girl as crushed and devastated by the news as she was, a girl who would cry much as she would want to cry, a girl who would meed comfort and someone to tell her that things were okay, and she knew she would be the strong one and she was tired of it.

She needed someone. Wasn't she allowed to be weak once in a while? Didn't she have the right to be upset, to need someone to lean on, to not be strong and be there for some one else? Was it fair? No, it wasn't fair and yet she did it time and time again. But this time she had taken comfort in his arms and for the first time she had seen what was there and she panicked. She had needed to run, she always ran.

Jack O'Neill was there for her, was her stone and she needed to remove it, to stop leaning on him and find her own two feet. To have what they all had, to live her own life. And so it was, that with a heavy heart she made a choice to try and be by herself, to try and be a wife and not a super genius, to go and live a life were she was the one comforted, were she was the one who had some one to rely upon.

Samantha Carter wanted to feel sexy, to feel like a woman instead of a soldier She wanted to be tender and sweet instead of rough and strong, wanted to cuddle and hug instead of punch and fire a weapon. She wanted normality, a sense of just being normal, of having something ordinary. Because to an extraordinary person, something as simple as domestic life, is an extraordinary thing.

Jack O'Neill had once said that what had kept him going was Sara, his wife. He had survived a skull fracture and broken bones to get back to his wife, because she was his rock, she was his normality, his little peace of heaven in a sea of hell. And if someone as strong as Jack O'Neill needed that, so did she. And so it was that with a heavy heart she told him; she told with her eyes and pleaded with her soul and he let her go.

It was with a heavy heart and tear-filled eyes that she hit Cassie and screamed at her; it was with pain that she walked away from her and never looked back. She cared; she hoped they would know that; she wished that they could understand. Yet she knew some of them would never understand, and as a teenager Cassie was the one who would hold a grudge against her.

She, Samantha, had done everything, saved countless civilizations, battled God like entities and traveled the stars. Now she would take the biggest and most difficult mission of her career. She would start a family; she would be a wife, because she chose to have it. Because she wanted to be and to know the one thing she had never known in her life.

So with the same heavy heart and a sad spirit that she ventured into this new mission. If only she had known, if only he had told her, she wouldn't have taken the chance, she wouldn't have made the mistake and she wouldn't have done what she did. If only she had seen and they had spoken. If only he had told her why he had been happy when he was married, if only she had seen it.

If only he had told her that a life without love, is no life at all.


	21. Chapter 21

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 21

"THE WHO AND THE WHAT"

Truth be told, Jack O'Neill's special way of dealing with things was had never been on the subtle side. He was more of a direct aproachapproach kind of guy, so when he rushed towards the van, pulled the door opend and pointed at the two stunedstunned figures in the van with his gun, it was understandable that Samantha would be thrown completlycompletely off her game.

"Hello boys. Strife here with you?"

"General O'Neill!"

Jack smiled and put his gun down. These were his kids also. He had trained them to be special ops and they were the best. But not even they could compete with his experience in the field, so it was no suprisesurprise that he was able to suprisesurprise them.

"Jason, RobieRobbie. I see you're still as careless as ever."

"I don't understand sir… weren't we?"

"At ease men. Just wanted to chat with you boys."

"Of course sir, but there is the matter of our outstanding orders and Mrs. Shanahan's presence."

"Of course."

He lead her away. Of course what ever they were going to discuss was something she probably didn't need to hear. Not right now at least. So he signaled Daniel and Teal'c to come for her and wait in the car. Once they did so, he returned back to his old aprenticesapprentices and smiled. All the while Sam just glanced at the two men whom used to be her brothers.

"You guys know about this?"

"Only the essentials Mrs. Carter."

"Jack's been keeping a tight leashd on this. You know, in case it got out."

"I should have known... ungh. Pete told me he had run a background check on me. I should have figured he would do the same with the General."

"Indeed."

Daniel frowned and shoock his head. Teal'c was not going to make this easy on Sam and by the looks on Sam's face, she had noticed. She was not sad, she was angry and who would blame her? She was after all triyingtrying to at least see them as her coleaguescolleagues again.

"Aron and Pete?"

"Aron is at school, so he is safe. Pete is out on a case with his partner. No worries there."

"So why all the rush?"

"They are here to deal with a problem. O'Neill will attempt to stop them."

"Teal'c, I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but can we save this all for later? I need information here."

Jack O'Neill had repeated the same words to the two who were currently on the phone with their comandingcommanding officer. Strife was not pleased and when he saw Jack O'Neill in the survailancesurveillance van he was beyond angry. He had gotten the drop on his boys. Not good.

"Hello Strife."

"Lobo te sacaron de la montana?"

Wolf, they got out of the mountain?

"Numas quiero informacion strife oh te deveria de llamar cuervo?"

Just want some information Sstrife or should I call you crow?

Strife laughed and shoock his head Jack O'Neill had not changed at all since he had seen him last. Ordering the two officers to wait out side, he smiled at his old friend and nodeednodded. He would get what he wanted. After all, Jack O'Neill was an old buddy of his and thanks to Jack, he had been able to be there for his daugther'sdaughter's wedding.

"Still remember the old code names I see."

"Yeah well, I remember a lot of stuff from back there. Now Mikael, you gonna give me what I need?"

"Hey no real names now, Jack. I'm still special forces!"

"Okay, Strife, stop playing around and get me what I need!"

"Your pretty doctor's in deep. Her husband is a good cop, but a stupid man."

"How can I make this go away?"

"We got pretty rialedriled up you know? If they conceedconceded to a full investigation then yeah, we can take the dogs out."

"And what would this inverstigationinvestigation entail?"

That was where the tricky part was. And Jack O'Neill knew it. And as the negotiation started and Jack waited for his (who's?) rambling to finish, another man was as tired of rambling as Jack. Only this one wore glaesess and was sitting besides a tall jaffa called Teal'c, who was refusing to speak any further to the recentrlyrecently arrived Samantha Carter.

There was some bad blood with between them, he knew that much. Teal'c's way of the warrior and loyalty were the things that made up who he was, not to mentioned the fact that Jack O'Neill had toughttaught him that no one was left behind and had showned him what a true brother in arms had been. Daniel knew Teal'c had thought about of Sam in the same light when she had left. itIt was as if she had spit all those believes beliefs right back in his face.

"So, tell me something. When you left your family and son…" She said.

She got it said and Daniel cringed. He did not want to be in the car with the two, but he was the only one who was keeping the argument civil and somewhat controlled, which was weird enough.

"That was diferentdifferent."

"How so? You left because you believed that Jack was going to be able to save your people. You had a belief. So did I!"

"Then why return now?"

"Because in the my search for what I believed was right, I made some mistakes. Is it so bad to try and correct them?"

"Only throught time might your actions be truly known."

"Teal'c, I know it's not easy, but im I'm triyingtrying!"

Daniel shoock his head. This was getting to the point where Sam was thinking over her choices and was doubting her return. He hated to be the one to tell her this, but they had been doing fine with out her. She was not nedeedneeded, but having her back did bring back memories. Nine years they worked together.

"Then you must not give up."

With those simple words Teal'c had laid to rest her doubts. Daniel smiled when he saw her shaking her head. He had given her an oportunityopportunity to make it up to them, to be back in their life. It was going to be hard, but with Teal'c she at least had gotten some way through. He might not trust her as he once didhad, but he would tolerate her and that was a start.

"I did miss you guys."

"We know Sam. It's just hard, okay, and dontdon't take this the wrong way, but you just jumping back into our lives isn't quite helping."

"I know... jeez this is so messed up."

Jack O'Neill nodeednodded. Pending Carter's approval, he would be the one who would lead the investigation into her and her husband's action. He would monitor them and see that they would pose no treath threat to the work they did. He took a deep breath and walked over to Teal'c's car.

"Is every thing well O'Neill?"

"The dogs are have been called off; sparkplug Sparkplug is sending what she found over to the head honchos, while we are on our merry way to the base."

"I toughtthought this was going to be more complicated."

"Daniel, shut up."

Monitored lives, phone calls, mail, everything would be under a microscope and Sam knew this was her getting a slap on the handwrist. She hated that once again she had caused trouble to for Jack. Driving back to the mountain was one of the most unconfortableuncomfortable things either of them had experienced. Daniel was over thinking, Teal'c was quiet and Sam was just pouting.

"So, Danny boy, dinner at my place?"

"I have some research to do."

"Oh well guess it's just Janet and me again."

"What of April O'neill?"

"Cass is taking her to the movies. Go figure, soon as I mention I might not be able to be there for her, she jumps at the chance."

"It is good that she will watch over April. Perhaps we can finally go on our night out."

No they couldn't. They needed to tend to some details. Jack had to contact Janet to let her know that everything was going to be fine. The whole thing with Pete was still way not over and he knew that Carter was just itching to ask him what to do now, what was going to be done to her and if she still had a job.

In another life perhaps, he would have been gentler with her and have not so sternly diciplineddisciplined her so sternly, but it had to be done. She understood that, but it hurt her to have him speak to her as if she was another employeemployee, nothing more, not even a friend. Just some lab technician who had scrwedscrewed up big time and by the time he had finished ranting, every thing was silent in the car. No one spoke and; no one said a word. (Would he really do this in the car in front of Daniel and Teal'c? I can't picture it, especially when he knows that she is no longer close with them.)


	22. Chapter 22

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 22

"REALIZATION"

He had known she was trouble from the moment he had seen her walk into that room. He knew she was trouble from the cocky walk, the attitude. Yeah, she was going to be one hell of pain in the ass, but he had experience with pain in the assess. After all, he hadn't even shot Daniel on their first mission, so he knew he could control himself. And so he did, and found out just what kind of woman she was.

He hated her for it. She threw him off balance, made him act the fool and he didn't like that. Both on and off mission her sheer presence lingered in his mind and as much as he wanted to escape her, he couldn't and he knew he was in trouble, because this woman was the kind of woman you could love with all that was in you and she would still not know how to respond.

He was no fool. He was an old dog; he could read and see right through most of the fair sex and Samantha was an open book. One look into her eyes, one glance at her expression and she would tell you all that you needed to know about her. She was hurt, she was afraid and she was insecure. Yeah, the "save the world" woman, the brave and strong person whom he called Carter, was a woman who was insecure about herself and her life.

While most women sacrificed their personal lives for their careers, Carter had tried to change that. She had tried to have a relationship, she had a fiancée and he had hurt her. She had been open and kind to him, had given her love and he had betrayed her and now she was lost and insecure. He knew she wondered and thought about what was wrong with her, when in fact there was nothing wrong.

Yet in her eyes there was always something wrong with her and Jack could see that she hid behind the soldier. She was tough, but she wanted for them to see that she was a woman also, and Jack, as much as he wanted to tell her, could not. He had made a promise to himself; he had sworn an oath and had been trained to follow regulations.

Yet she lingered inside his mind, always there. Her presence overpowering his senses, making him feel like a teenager all over again, making his heart beat faster and his pulse race. She was a curse, a forbiden fruit whom he could watch, yet not touch and he was tired of it. He had tried to move on, tried to just escape her spell. He could not.

All the other women he dated he never slept with and he never called them. Because all he could see was her and her alone and when the time came, when it seemed that she would be interested in him, it would change once more and he would get hurt. It was quite ironic. He had always believed that he would be the one who would end up hurting her.

He was in love with her and as such he swore and made a silent agreement with himself. He resigned himself to wait. A fool in love could wait for all eternity for their beloved to return and never lose hope. And that is what he had become and he did not like it. He didn't like the pain he felt and the way she made him feel when she dated other men, when she slept with and kissed other men.

Yet it is said that only fools fall in love. He however had become the fool because he had thought that perhaps she would soon snap out of it and tell him to forget about that imaginary room of hers, and to just tell him that she loved him. But it never happened and he never let it happen, because he knew better and he knew the risks.

She wanted, no, she deserved so much more and Jack O'Neill was not selfish. And so, even hating cliches, he had followed an old saying. If you love someone, let them go and if they return to you they will be yours forever. But if they never come back, you never had them to begin with. And he had seen that he never had her.

How could he have her, how could she possibly love him? He knew when she told him she needed to leave, he knew that she never felt as he felt, because there was no way that you could do such a thing to a person that you love or used to love. So he drove home, got drunk and laughed it off.

"Fool, just and old fool who dared to hope."

The next day he awoke to find Janet by his, side kneeling down and touching his forehead. Her cold hand made him feel as if he was dying but her smile made him feel alive.

"You ok?"

She cared for him in a different way, but he knew she did as much as Carter did. And for that he was grateful. Slowly he sat upright and glanced at the worried eyes of Janet Frasier. She was concerned, but Jack knew that with her there was a thin line between concern and anger. He had seen those sides of her many a day.

"I think I will be."

"Good."

Her hand was so soft and yet it stung a hundred more times than any other slap he had previously received. His eyes opened wide and confused. Janet never slapped or hit any one. Slowly he turned his face to face her and saw the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Janet..."

"Just because she left, doesn't mean you don't have people who love you!"

Those words stunned him to the core and now looking at her, he was as stunned as when Carter had first told him she was leaving with Pete. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and then a soft cry made him open his eyes. Here she was, Janet Fraiser, holding his now adoptive daughter, her eyes brimming with tears and all he could do was realize that life moved forward.

"J-Janet I..."

"You have your daughter now, Jack. You have us, why can't you…"

"I know, I know... I've been such an idiot."

He couldn't believe what he was doing. He was going into depression and was blocking everything out of his mind. And why? Because the woman he loved had left him. But there was more to it than that. He had been hurt, yes and as always he had dealt with it by closing himself off from the others. Yet things had to change. Looking at Janet he knew that now.

He had a daughter who needed him and friends who loved him and were going to be there for him. And as that realization dawned on him, his arms wrapped around Janet and his baby girl. A silent pledge, an oath, was made to never be the way he used to be, nor to return to how he was and to live life not for him, but for those who needed him and were there for him.

"I'll be here for you always, Jack."

"I know, doc… I know."


	23. Chapter 23

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 23

"TRUST ISSUES"

The SGA gathering one of the most look forward to events the SGA had to offer and where was it held? Just the one place Samantha Carter had repeatedly refused to go. His cabin, and now here they were the whole staff of the SGA, mingling and having an over all good time; here in this private little property away from any sings of civilization and preying eyes. (Is Sam here with them?)

The gathering was in full swing and yet Jack O'Neill found himself with his mind drifting from the celebration and into more pressing matters. Looking at his friends and colleagues, they were having fun and he was stuck thinking about the President and his silent warning. Now he was any thing but enjoying the gathering.

"General."

He smiled and waved; Siler waved back. The greetings came and went and he was still in somewhat a daze. Janet's small slap to his shoulder made him frown and give her a slight glare; which only served to make her even more worried.

"Ok, you and I are going to have a long talk."

"Janet, not now, the meat will…"

"Be fine! Teal'c and Walter can handle it."

She signaled them to get near the barbeque set, which they did much to Jack's amusement. Walter seemed to be glowing at the chance of being in charge of his precious bbq set. Tealc smiled and took the pincers from Jack's hand.

"We will take it from here O'Neill."

"Yeah yeah…"

Janet shook her head and walked him inside his cabin; she noticed the still far away look on Jack and frowned even more. He had been distracted all day long, only greeting and saying hello to the people. Sitting down on the couch she shot him one of her all too familiar looks which made Jack cringe.

"We have a problem don't we?"

"Yes we do."

"And what is that problem Jack O'Neill?"

"It's about Sam and her husband."

He looked at her and sat beside her, something was going on and Janet knew it. Glancing at her once again, he knew that he couldn't lie to her, not any more. Janet's eyes had a way of seeing right through him.

"There was a warning wasn't there"

"Yeah, they only accepted Carter back because of her experience in the program and Hammond's good recommendation."

"Then why does the fault fall on you?"

"Because Sam's husband was looking at my file, at least tried to do before he was shut down"

"Just because of that, Jack, I'm sorry to say it doesn't make sense."

"Sam is classified as a flight risk."

That news had shocked Janet to the core; she turned towards Jack glancing at him with wide eyes. He smiled and took a deep breath. He'd never told this to any one as it was labeled need to know, yet now with what had just happened that little classification had grown.

"Since when?"

"Since Orlin."

"The ancient?"

"The President agreed with Samuels and I hate to say it but so did I."

"Jack!"

"Hey it wasn't my call but her actions were brought up when the report hit the President's desk."

"But we didn't believe her, it…"

"That was not the only thing Janet. She jumped through the home-made Stargate. Now I vouched for her to go inside that house and bring Orlin back. She didn't."

Janet knew that and now it was all coming together, Jack had taken the fall for that one. He had told Samuels to let Sam go inside and when she had jumped through that Stargate she had betrayed him. Samuels had used that to his advantage, smearing Jack's reputation and making him an accomplice to Sam's actions, the only reason the man had not been courted marshal was because of Hammond.

There were other occasions, she knew what those wore, the more grave ones came to mind, and she now understood. Glancing at Jack, she knew he was no saint either. He was an old war dog; he knew how the system worked and how to convince certain individuals to let sleeping dogs lie.

"Jack what did you do to make this go away?"

"I'm black ops and special ops. The missions I was on are not the kind of missions the government wants to get out there."

"So that was your leverage?"

He nodded, now she knew how Jack O'Neill had been able to stay in the military for so long, standing up she paced the room. Glancing towards him she saw the worry on his face and knew that he had used a big one just now covering for Sam.

"That's how…"

"The President was not happy, but he understood it was not Carter's fault but Pete's. Still, now we have to keep our eyes open and keep checking on her."

"So she is trouble after all."

Cassie's voice rang from behind them, Jack closed his eyes, Janet turned around and there, standing in the doorway, was her daughter, her eyes hard. She had never seen such look on her daughter and she did not like it. Before they could do any thing, Cassie rushed up the stairs towards the second floor of his cabin.

**Colorado Springs. **

Sam looked at her empty house and wondered just who was watching her right now; if she knew Jack it would be someone who would not hurt her, or her child. She wondered if she should just go out and see. Yet as the door opened, she frowned and glared at the man.

"Are they done with you now?"

"Sam, don't!"

"Don't what Pete? You know what this is going to cost me, what it is going to cost the General?"

"Oh please, like he did any favors!"

"God, you have no idea do you?"

Ignoring her, he walked towards the kitchen; leaving her festering in her own anger, yet this discussion had been coming for a long time. She was tired of always having to hide how she felt, walking towards the kitchen, she slammed the door opened and fixed him with a glare.

"What now?"

"What now? Do you have any idea what you did?"

"Oh please! I did it once with your file."

"Yeah, you told me, but checking the General's file… how stupid can you be?"

"Hey watch it! I'm not in a good mood!"

"You're not in a good mood? Well sorry, but this is important! Do you have any idea how serious this is?"

"What's the big deal?"

"You idiot! He is ex-black ops, special ops!"

That got Pete's attention and she saw his surprise, shaking her head she just left him in the kitchen. She needed to cool her head before she said something she would regret later. Her husband was not as composed as she was and he rushed after her pulling her towards him.

"So this is about him yet again?"

"You're not listening! You could have gotten us killed!"

"Oh please, don't you think your being paranoid?"

"Me? Being paranoid? You're the one who did a background check on me and followed me around!"

"That was different!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me, please tell me!"

"It...you wouldn't tell me anything I couldn't trust you."

That was the whole issue; now, right in this instant she realized what it was all about; what it had been about the whole time and she closed her eyes. This had never been about how things had changed; this had always been about trust. It was about her husband not trusting her, not believing in what they had and not sharing her dream, then again she was never the one to dream was she?

Shaking her head, she smirked and walked towards the doorway. She had a few calls to make; she had to fix some things and yet she wondered just what she was going to do. Pete was her husband; she had loved him. At one point, she had thought that she could have everything she ever wanted, the house, the kid and the love of her life, and yet that was falling apart right in front of her face and she was unable or willing to stop it.

Driving off towards the baby sitter, she wondered just what was wrong with her life, why she was like this. She shook her head. Her father had told her once that she was to smart for her own good, now she was thinking that he had been right; once again she wondered if the decision to marry Pete had been made with her brain instead of her heart.

There was a decision that had to be made now, it was going to be hard and it was going to be tough on her and her son, but it was the right one. Divorcing Pete was for the best.

CONTINUED


	24. Chapter 24

"THE HERE AND NOW"

CHAPTER 24

"ABYSMAL DECISION"

He was nice and she liked him from the get go. A charming, funny and a nice man. She had fun with him. She liked having someone to wake up to, the sex wasn't great, but it did satisfy her needs. She smiled and took a deep breath; glancing at the clock on her counter top, she knew that today was going to be another long day.

"Hey honey you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired I guess."

"Tired?"

"Its nothing I should get ready for work."

"I think O'Neill is working you to hard."

She smiled and ignored the warm feelings that came over her when his name was mentioned. A small kiss on the lips and she left her soon to be husband in her house as she drives off towards him, the man who made her think and feel more than any other man had ever before.

"Good morning ma'am."

"Hello Walter. Is General O'Neill in yet?"

"No ma'am."

She nodded and walked off to find Daniel. Her report needed to be handed in and she had to ask him about their next mission. Walking towards the all too familiar lab, she saw O'Neill smile and shake his head as he walked off in the other direction not even glancing at her. She could have called out to him, but that smile and that spring in his step was odd.

Walking inside Daniel's lab, she was surprised to find her friend chuckling and looking at a picture in his hand. He smiled up at her and waved her to sit down. She looked at the door as if to ask who was here. He as always did not notice and just looked up at her with a questioning look.

"Ah yeah, so how you been."

"Good… just finished my report." Daniel said.

"Oh you want me to hand it to the General?"

"Nah, its okay, I'll do it later. Jack is busy. Apparently he has another meeting with Kerry"

She didn't like the tone of his voice, nor did she like the way his eyes sparkled and his lips twitched at the mentions of the name. She was sure he was fighting the urge to use air quotations; she however did notice his somewhat amused expression and she chuckled. Of course a fake one. She wanted to appear nonchalant and come off as just asking a friendly question.

"So what does that smile mean?"

"What smile?"

Daniel this time did chuckle and she mentally cursed, yet she smiled and gave him the old Carter look, the 'I know you know what I'm talking about now spill' look.

"Come on Daniel!"

"Yeah it was nothing. A guy thing."

"Daniel!"

"Ah fine! Meeting, Sam, you know? Meeting."

He stretched out the word and much to her surprise and horror she saw him do those damn air quotation marks, her body froze and she felt a cold shiver run down her spine. For a brief second her mind wondered if this was what Jack had felt when that ancient machine had frozen him.

"Ah you ok?"

"I'm fine Daniel… just surprised you know it's not like the General to… well go to meetings…"

"Well what did you expect? They've been seeing each other for weeks now."

Daniel was a laidback guy and did not always realize what he had done until it was too late. In this case his brain could not catch up to what he had said. Sam told him that she needed to hand in her report and left. He returned to his books. He didn't realize until that very point what he had done and mentally cringed.

"Daniel Jackson?"

"Teal'c. Oh yes! Tell me, does Sam know about Kerry?"

"I believe she does not."

"Ah crap!"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Then he knew why Samantha Carter had looked so ill when she had bumped into him on his way to see Daniel. He frowned and glanced at the man.

"Daniel Jackson what has happened?"

"I told Sam!"

"I do not see the harm in it."

"You don't see the harm in it? Teal'c, come on!"

"She has Pete Shanahan, does she not?"

"Well yes, but still… I mean its Jack we're talking about."

Still he did not see the point. Samantha was with another; surely O'Neill was able to now be with another since the promise had been broken. He glanced at Daniel who still seem worried and wondered just how the Tau'ri dealt with this situations; Daniel glanced at Teal'c and saw his thoughtful expression and froze.

"Oh no Teal'c you're not…"

"I shall offer my assistance to Colonel Carter."

"To do what exactly?"

"Dismember Kerry Johnson."

"Oh no no no… Teal'c, you aren't serious are you?"

"I am not. However I do not see why this is of such concern to you Daniel Jackson. Surely Colonel Carter has moved on has she not?"

"Teal'c, Sam is a great friend, one of the best soldiers I have known, and one of the greatest minds on Earth, but when it comes to her heart she is anything but all those things "

Teal'c looked at him and nodded, yes Samantha was an exceptional female. Yet what Daniel had said was true and a small smile came to his lips, to which Daniel raised an eyebrow in question.

"I agree, yet if there is one who rivals her in such matter of the heart it is none other than O'Neill."

"Oh don't get me started on him!"

Daniel smiled and closed his eyes; yeah, Teal'c was right. Jack was worse than Sam was when it came to feelings and matters of the heart. How fitting was it that Sam and Jack would be perfect for each other when it came to not being able to deal with their feelings?

Samantha Carter looked at the figure of Jack O'Neill and tried hard not to glare. She was, after all, here to ask him about her mission. Yeah that's right, nothing more nothing less and beside she was wearing her ring, yeah that would show him… show him what? She did not know. All she knew was that she had to wear it here with him and had to keep glancing at it. Why, she didn't know and she frowned at it. Why couldn't her mind figure this out?

"Something wrong Carter?"

"No sir."

"You sure? You've been staring at that ring with a murderous look."

"It fits a little tight."

"Really? I know a friend who could…"

"Its all right I'll just tell Pete."

Yeah she would and he nodded. Did he not care? Why was he acting like that? He was keeping his distance and she did not like it, not one bit. She knew it was because of Kerry. She cleared her throat and decided to deal with the problem directly; he raised an eyebrow, took a deep breath. It was clear that she wanted to talk.

"Ah… Daniel told me about Kerry."

"He did? Oh he did… ah, yeah for a couple of weeks now."

"Oh… ah, not that is any of my business Sir, but I thought we were friends… I know it's…"

"Oh no, no it's not that Carter. I mean don't get me wrong, it was awkward telling Daniel, I mean I'm not exactly the dating type, you know…"

"Sir?"

He was surprised to see that she was genuinely confused at his comment. Which made him freeze in his tracks, how to tell the woman that he had feelings for that he had dated Kerry to make himself feel better? Or for that matter prove to himself that he still had it. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath; then looked at his desk. Sam knew he was uncomfortable and took a deep breath. She should stop this, but she wanted to know why he had said what he said.

I mean who was he kidding? He had women throwing themselves at his feet so why lie to her? It didn't make any sense. She knew how attractive and funny he was, so why wouldn't other women see that and why couldn't he see that for himself? Was he doing this to spare her? She frowned and he finally answered her.

"You know what I mean Carter. I'm not exactly a young buck any more and more or less I've never been good with women in the whole dating game and all."

"I see… so Kerry?"

"Well we had a meeting discussing the whole Trust thing and then we talked and one thing lead to another, next thing you know were a couple…"

"Oh… will she becoming to the wedding then?"

He was surprised, but if there was anything Samantha had learned from

Jack O'Neill, it was how to turn in an instant from defensive to offensive and that was her second strike. His face told her that much, yet she wondered just why was she acting like this was a battlefield.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Carter."

Five minutes later she was slamming the door to her lab. Throwing her file towards the wall, she glanced at the security camera and shook her head. Nice job Sam, you just got yourself caught having a temper tantrum. Walking towards the file spread out on the floor she began to pick it up, yet as her hand reached for it she saw the ring in her finger and glared at it. Anger rushed through her whole body; walking the blind area of the camera she slumped down on the floor and threw away the ring.

She was angry with herself for showing him the ring, for having the guts to go to his office and try to provoke a reaction from him. She had hurt him twice in his office and why? Because she was angry that he was fucking some woman. He wasn't supposed to be doing that; he was supposed to be her safe bet, he was supposed to be there for her he had told her so in that dream ship.

"Nice Sam! Hurt the one man who has done nothing but helped you in the past."

She chuckled sadly and took a deep breath. She needed to get back to work, to forget about everything; she was going to get married. She was going to be fine and she was going to say yes to Pete; as soon as she saw him again she was going to say yes, what else was there to say or do if Jack was with another? She had to say yes, right?

Continued


	25. Chapter 25

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 25

"QUESTIONS"

"Why?"

"We just needed some time apart Honey."

"But where is Daddy going to stay?"

"He is staying with Alice and Alex."

"Can we visit them some time?"

Those questions, each and every one of them were hurting Sam more and more, and she could do nothing to stop them. She had to try and answer him, try to tell her son that everything was going to be all right. Yet, now, two days latter, he still kept asking questions, wanting to find out what was going on, why his dad was not in the house and why he was not calling him. Sam knew Pete was harsh, but he had no right to cut off communications with Aron, to try to use him like this.

She knew him well enough, knew that he was just using his own son as a bargaining chip. She couldn't do the same, yet she could not call him, because it would give him the wrong idea, shaking her head she glanced at her crest fallen son and took a deep breath; she needed to do this for him, his safety was her priority and that was what she was going to do. Pete didn't trust her and next time he did something she wanted to be sure she could be there for Aron. And she didn't want Jack watching her six all the time.

"We're here Aron."

"Ok."

He rushed off into the school building and Sam closed her eyes. Not even a goodbye kiss, or a see you later mommy. She clenched the wheel and slammed her fist on it.

"Ah… you ok?"

"Daddy, she is angry."

She turned towards the sound of the familiar voices and saw Jack standing there. April was holding her father's hand, and Jack was carrying her small backpack. A small smiled tugged at her lips at the sight.

"Where's Aron? Did you guys fight?"

"He's inside and no we didn't fight he… he's just sad."

"I'll go cheer him up, right Dad?"

"Sure thing kid and remember Janet is picking you up today."

"Yes Sir."

She smiled and rushed off right before returning and giving him a peck on the cheek. Sam closed her eyes and Jack turned towards her; as April once again entered the school he squatted beside Sam's car and cocked his head to one side raising an eyebrow.

"Every thing ok?"

"No. Pete left a while back."

"Oh?"

"I'm getting a divorce."

"Hard on the kid, I see…"

"You have no idea…"

"So what's the plan?"

"I don't know… the house is his. Everything… is his… God this is such a mess!"

"Carter come on, this isn't like you."

"I've never been good at this have I?"

"At what?"

"The whole couple and family thing."

He brushed his hand over the side of her face, a small smile on his lips.

"Nope, but then again you're new at this whole thing and it takes two to tango."

"This is harder than blowing that… you know what…"

"Yeah well 12 is a bitch Carter, just remember that."

She smiled and nodded, he had experience with kids. As they talked, inside the school April looked at Aron. He was in his seat, looking out the window and frowning.

"Aron, you ok?"

"Daddy is gone."

"Where'd he go?"

"With Uncle Alex."

"Oh, but you can see him right?"

"Mommy is angry at him."

"Oh… I'm sure they'll make up and then you'll have your daddy back."

"I don't know…"

"Well… I don't have a mommy and my real daddy is gone too."

Aron looked at April who smiled sadly at him. He looked at her strangely.

"Where'd they go?"

"Up there."

She pointed to the sky and the teacher looked at them. She was about to start the lesson but she had heard them talking.

"How can they be up there?"

"Aron, April's mom… is in Heaven along side her daddy."

Aron frowned and the teacher explained. He nodded and much to the teacher's surprise Aron seemed to have left his bad mood behind and he went to play with April. After a while he slowly he stood and rushed towards the teacher.

"What is the matter?"

"April's dad is alone then?"

"Why yes, he is."

"Oh I was sad 'cause Daddy went to live with my uncle, but I can still see him. April can't see her mommy or daddy can she?"

"No, she can't sweetie."

"Then I'll cheer her up!"

"You do that, but get ready okay? Class is about to start."

She smiled and watched as Aron rushed off to help his friend. A sad look came over the teacher. April was one of a kind kid and so was her dad; the man had told her about her family. Her real dad and mom, and how they went to visit them often, yet for April knew Jack was her Daddy, nothing could change that.

Sam on the other hand was currently holding back tears, telling Jack, her friend, what had happened and all Jack was able to do was listen to her and offer her kind words; yet she wished for so much more. She wanted his arms embracing her, his tender words and his hand resting kindly on her back as his other one ran softly trough her hair. She so wished he would just take her in his arms, but knew that it was not going to happen.

"Look Carter, I don't know anything about your marriage, but it sounds to me like you have all of this planed out. Why the hesitation?"

"Because of Aron, I don't want to take his father away from him and be the bad mother."

He smiled and shook his head. Sam was right and yet she was so wrong. Taking a deep breath he signaled her to follow him to a more private area. They walked to the near by wood where he stoped and took a deep breath looked at her straight into her eyes.

"Sam, trust me, it's better to have an absent parent than live in an unhappy home."

"Jack?"

"My parents weren't that great."

"Oh… h-how did you?"

"Dad and Mom fought all the time and well let's just say I lashed out. When they divorced I was relieved that I didn't have to hear the fights and my parents were talking to one another."

"It was better?"

"Not better, but it was easier to accept."

Jack smiled and they headed back towards their vehicles, she jumped in her and looked at his truck as he drove away. Things were going to get harder, but she could deal with them, somehow today told her that maybe, just maybe he was beginning to accept her return.

"You're late, Jack."

"I know, Jan I know."

"Do you know how frustrating it is?"

"I'm sorry, okay?"

She pouted and he smiled, he just signaled her to follow him. Janet saw that there was something up with him and wondered if it had to do with Sam and her recently resolved problem. She took his hand and signaled him to enter a nearby office.

"Yes mom?"

"Stop the jokes Jack."

"All right, all right. It's Sam."

"Oh?"

"She is having some home problems… gave her some advice."

"You did? Ok. Yeah, sorry."

"Its okay, I just hope that kid can deal with it."

"I'm sure he will Jack. You did."

He smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Janet."

"No problem Sir."

Walking towards their respective positions, Janet wondered how he dealt with everything he had been through, wondered just what had happened to Jack's personal life. She had heard the rumors that he had gone out with Daniel and Teal'c to a singles bar which was weird. He had expressed his dislike of those kinds of places, yet he had gone to one with them. Deciding against going towards the infirmary she decided to make a side stop at Daniel's office.

She had to know what had happened after all. Arriving, she noticed Daniel was laid out on his desk groaning. She smirked and taped him on the shoulder. He turned sideways and smiled at her touching his head; he had a hang over. One beer and Daniel was out cold. Sitting up he smiled at her.

"So how did it go?"

"I think he got a few numbers, so did I…"

"Oh?"

He smiled and nodded pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. She frowned of course, yet he didn't notice. That was Daniel. He had the perfect woman in front of him and he didn't even have a clue.

Continued 


	26. Chapter 26

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 26

"DENSE"

"Will you be happy with me?"

"What brought this on?"

"I guess I can't believe how lucky I am."

The phone rang and his demeanor changed from ammusement to annoyance. He pulled away from her and left the room; with a heavy heart, she reached for the phone and smiled at the voice at the other end of the line. General O'Neill needs her at the SGC; she will go to him. Pete will get over it. She knows how to deal with him, she does not know how to deal with Jack.

"I see you're going…"

She stoped at the door and glanced back at her fiancé. He will do this every time and she will just clench the door handle a bit harder each time. Turning around she smiled a fake smile that Jack would recognize as such. Pete how ever bought it and smiled back at her.

"It's my job and you're lucky I didn't get called sooner."

"Hurry back babe."

"You know I will."

He didn't notice her flinch at the word babe, didn't hear the fake enthusiasm in her voice. He's happy with what he's getting; so he kissed her good bye. Getting into her car, she wondered about her life yet again. Driving towards the SGC, she wondered what General O'Neill wants with her; he has the bad habit of calling her at the worst possible moments.

For a brief moment, she wondered just how he did it, and thought that maybe he was spying on her. The thought left her mind. Even if he could, she knows Jack O'Neill would never do that to her, he would never spy or pry into her business. She frowned when the voice inside her head reminded her of Pete's indiscretions. She reprimanded that annoying little voice, telling it that in a real relationship there are no secrets, but she shuts up. She is only trying to convince herself.

Arriving at her lab, she saw Daniel glancing at some magazines. He is hiding from Jack, that much she can tell. He smiled and waved her in. Now she knows there is definitely something wrong. Sitting beside him she could feel that he is tense about something.

"What's wrong?"

"Jack is angry. Walter and Siler did something that freaked him out."

"How so?"

"They caused a system failure. The iris wouldn't open and we almost got a team killed."

"We?"

"I was..."

She knows Daniel and how sometimes he forgets the world around him when he is caught up in his work. Placing an arm around him, she tried to reassure him, but it didn't work, especially when she sensed his presence entering her lab. Turning towards the entrance, she could see the anger and annoyance and Daniel immediately tensed up. He knows when not to deal with the General

"Carter, sorry to have disturbed you, but I need you to check Siler's work on the iris control."

"Yes sir."

"Just be quick about it. I don't want you moping around here."

Daniel's body tensed even more and Sam frowned. She wondered what had happened and was about to reply to General O'Neill but he is long gone. Turning towards Daniel, she saw that he was more uncomfortable than ever before. Something had definitely been said between them. That something involved her; hence Jack's comment and Daniel's detached look. He was definitely going to try to avoid the subject. She was not going to let him, of course.

Daniel had been hesitant and distant from her ever since she had started to date Pete; she knew her friends didn't trust Pete. Daniel had tried to befriend him as he had Teal'c. Jack on the other hand would have none of it; as far as he was concerned Pete had put his team in danger and was not trustworthy, a sentiment that he shared with the most unlikely of all people, her best friend, Janet Frasier.

"What was that about?" Sam asked Daniel.

"We had a discussion."

"About?"

"Pete and you and your day off…"

This was one subject she did not like to talk about. Her personal life was her personal life; she didn't want it to be base gossip, especially when the gossipers were General O'Neill and Daniel Jackson. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she wondered just what the hell had Daniel been thinking. He knew how Jack felt about Pete.

"Daniel…"

The warning tone was a dead give away that she was beyond angry, but was trying to calm herself. He was grateful for that. She always gave him time to explain his actions before rushing into the barrage of whys and so on.

"I know! It was just… it was your day off… I just mentioned it…"

"How did you mention it?"

"My exact words?"

"Daniel!"

"Don't you think you should let her enjoy her day off with Pete? Maybe you're calling her because that's the case."

Those were his exact words and Sam cringed. Her anger had jumped to mortification. Glancing at Daniel, she wondered just what the hell had possessed him to say that to the General. He smiled nervously at her; he had to have been distracted. He always did that, reading something and then babbling his thoughts when he thought he was actually thinking them. That sucked. Taking a deep breath she wondered just how she was going deal with this.

She had always prided herself on her work and being professional to no end. Now, with Pete and Daniel's blabber mouth, she didn't know how the hell she was going to keep herself that way. Walking towards the main computer room she saw Walter and Siler trying to figure out what had gone wrong with the iris. General O'Neill was behind them glancing at their work.

"Sir that's not helping."

"Just get to it Carter. I have off world teams that need to get home."

"Yes sir."

He was not General O'Neill the friendly guy, he was General O'Neill the get the job done guy, and it was all work until the problem was fixed. She smiled at Siler and Walter, whose relief was evident. She shook her head and wondered just when Siler was going to get the hang of the systems. Looking at the screen she frowned. This was new and a challenge was always good for clearing up her mind.

"Sorry about ruining your evening Colonel." (Who's speaking?)

"Huh?"

"We didn't know you had plans. If we had known we wouldn't have started the debugging."

"Guys its ok, I…"

"More work less talk."

O'Neill's voice boomed from behind them and they cringed. He was mad all right. What disturbed and un-nerved Sam was the fact that he was glancing at his watch. He couldn't have plans could he? Then again by the way he was looking around, it seemed that was the case and she didn't like it one bit. Looking towards him yet again, she decided to take the initiative and come straight out with it

"What's wrong sir? Hot date tonight?"

He glanced at her and she saw a frown on his face, a cheeky smile and raised eye brow from her part. Surely he was just going to kid around and make a joke out of it.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Now please hurry Colonel."

She was mortified. She could see Siler and Walter flinch at the tone of his voice; the curt reply told her he was being intentionally rude, mean and hurtful. He had humiliated her; turning towards her work, she cursed him and that damn woman, that young and attractive woman that was dating him. She'd disliked Kerry ever since she had seen her in his office. She'd known there was more to the story and now she was beginning to get the picture all too clearly.

She finished in record time and began to initialize the program. Iris control was back, gate functions were normal; she had done her job. Standing up she headed into the General's office. He had left the control room a while back, probably to call his girl and tell her he was going to be late. What a bastard she thought and smirked.

"Sir every thing is fixed and ready to go."

"Good."

"Anything else?"

"No, you can go enjoy your day off."

"Excuse me?"

"Go enjoy your day off."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She didn't know why she was asking. She just knew she had to. His surprised look was all she saw. He was confused and angry. Confusion was wining over, but she wanted an answer, she wanted him to say something, she wanted an excuse to hate him, to be angry at him.

"That I'm sorry I spoiled your day with Pete. You were with him today right?"

"Yes but I…"

"See, now there, I interrupted your time with him and I apologize. I'm sorry if I was wrong."

His apology was nothing more than a bald faced lie and she knew it. He was being an ass. She couldn't come right out and call him on it, but she knew this was all a sham. She smiled and decided to play his little game.

"No, it's okay, we still have later tonight."

A wink, a smile, and she was off. She had won that round. She felt drained. Reaching her lab, she slumped down on her chair, held her head in her hands, and wanted to cry. She couldn't, she wasn't that kind of woman; she was strong and she didn't make mistakes. He was the dense one, he was the stupid one, he'd had his chance and he had done nothing. It was all his fault.

He was just so dense and yet a small voice in the back of her head told her the same thing about her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There was nothing wrong. She'd almost convinced herself and yet a faint memory of a talk long ago with her mother reared its ugly little head.

Love cannot be explained.

But why?

Its just a mystery of life.

I read it a chemical induce state of mind.

Maybe so, but when you're in love, you will see that brains have nothing to do with it.

What do you mean mom?

Love comes from the heart, not the mind and some times that is all that matters.

That was the first time Samantha Carter had made a promise. She'd try to find the answers to the great mysteries that were out there; she was going to solve this problem called love. She smiled at the memory and shook her head. She was so naive and dense back then but then again she had only been 11; so she was allowed to be that way. Now she was older than 11 and she was still as dense as ever when it came to love.

Some things simply couldn't be explained. Love was one of them. She was learning that the hard way.

continued 


	27. Chapter 27

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 27

"EMOTIONAL CHAOS"

"Is there Heaven?"

"Huh?"

"April told me that her mom was in Heaven."

She remembered the incident all to well. Now looking at her son beside her, she realized just how much time had gone by; and how O'Neill seemed to not have aged a day. He seemed as he always was, unchanged, untouched by time. Yet she could see the lines on her face, the white in her blond hair. She was getting older and yet for Jack, it seemed time had stopped.

"Yes she is."

"Oh so Heaven is real?"

"For some people, many people believe that when you die or anyone else dies they come back as another animal or human."

"Oh… many beliefs?"

"Exactly. It depends on what you believe in."

"What do we believe in mom?"

She smiled and wondered if she had been like this when she was little; and how her mom had handled her. Such an inquisitive child, so many questions, so many ways to answer him, and so many ways of getting him completely confused in the process. He might be smarter than most kids, but he was a child none-the-less.

"Whatever you wish to believe in, it's your choice. I believe in science but I also think there is something more out there."

"Oh… ok."

"So why did April tell you about her mom?"

"I was feeling sad 'cause of Dad."

She knew that much. The divorce was under way and she was not dealing with it as well as she had hoped. Aron was no better. Her so-called husband's actions were hurting him more than Aron let on. She wondered if Pete even considered Aron's feelings when making decisions. She was confused; Pete had been nothing like this in Denver, he had been just the opposite. Now it seemed he was at his worst, with little consideration for her or Aron's feelings. Looking towards Aron, she raised an eyebrow.

"And now?"

"Not so much!"

He smiled up at her and she found herself raising both eyebrows in surprise. That was no fake smile on his face. He was genuinely smiling.

"Oh?"

"I still get to see dad. April can't see her mom… not never and she isn't sad."

"Oh I see… so she cheered you up?"

"Yeah. She's nice."

Sam smiled. Jack had raised one hell of a girl, that was for sure. She just hoped she was doing as well as him. The problem was that unlike Jack, who had Janet as a mother figure, Aron had no such thing; his father was aloof at best. Work took up most of his time and the time he did spend with Aron, he tried to get him to take up sports that Aron didn't like, such as baseball or football. Aron wasn't the athletic type and Pete had little or no patience.

She remembered many times where Aron would be crying, and Pete would simply grunt and walk inside to cool off, leaving her to tend to Aron. She had wondered many times, and thought about his behavior; yet those instances were rare and since they didn'tsee each other that much anyway. Aron needed someone to be caring and at the same time understanding and not push him into things he didn't like.

Somehow she knew that Jack was just like that. Janet had once told her that some men were just born to be good parents, while others just wanted to have kids because they had insecurities or just to have a child to reaffirm their marriage. Sam had been thinking about this ever since Janet had mentioned it, and now, five years into her marriage, she found that her friend might have been on to something all those years ago.

"Mom do I have to go visit dad today?"

"Why?"

"I want to go to April's house!"

"Why?"

"Can I? Please?"

"Ok, what's going on mister?"

She noticed her son's hesitation which meant that there was something good going on at the girl's house and yet she wondered what could be so good in the eyes of her son who was as close to a nerd as she ever was. He only had a slight Pete streak in him

"April's dad is teaching the school kids how to play hokey."

"Street hokey?"

"Yeah and he's teaching April how to skate and rollerblade."

This was weird. She knew Aron didn't like sports.

"And you want to learn? Why? You never like sports before."

"If I can't skate, I can't disappoint Jack 'cause he's not my dad!"

His logic was sound. Pete did pressure Aron a lot; she had never thought that it had affected Aron this much. Now she was beginning to see that it did affect him; she gripped the steering wheel tighter and cursed herself. She should have been a better mother, she should have noticed, but she never had and now she didn't know if she had been aware all along and just didn't want to see it, because it would have meant something she hadn't been ready to accept.

She'd never been good at accepting things. It was a bad thing, to have an ego when people's lives depended on her decisions, yet now she knew that wasn't so anymore. Still she wanted to forget all that, to just be happy with the decisions she had made and up until now she had been, up to a certain point, but was that enough? She didn't know.

"Okay, then I'll see if we can work something out."

"Okay."

"Honey you don't have roller blades."

"General Jack has extra pairs."

Jack O'Neill groaned. Friday 2:30 in the afternoon and he was still stuck working. That was just great. He was supposed to be home at three. Now, it seemed he was going to be a bit late and why? It was all thanks to SG-3 and their so-called grand discovery, a broken down old ship that seemed to be Ancient. Glancing at Daniel, he could already see the gleam and excitement on the man's face. Teal'c was as passive as ever and Hailey was just reading the report. Glancing at Reynolds and Harrington, he could see the same excitement on their faces, the same thrill Daniel had and he didn't like it. The more exited they got, the more mistakes they would make.

He needed to end this soon. Janet was going to kill him if he didn't get home and soon. She wasn't into handling kids, at least, not so many at the same time. Cassie was good with them, but had a short fuse, bad combination. Glancing at the report and the two SG-3 members, he knew they had finished their report and were waiting for him to say something, unfortunately he had heard almost nothing of what they had said. Lucky him, he had his ace in the hole.

"Hailey?"

"Risk minimum, advantages lots and maybe we can bring McKay into it."

"That good?"

"It's a war cruiser sir!"

"Ancients built war machines?"

"Good ones at that sir."

"Okay, Reynolds, you and your team go fetch McKay from Atlantis, then get ready to be joined by SG-1 and whoever Weir sticks you with."

They were all satisfied with that so he stood and rushed towards his office, less than 20 minutes to get ready and go meet Janet. He could make it, yeah he could make it, he just needed to hurry up. Yet when Daniel walked into his office and proceed to follow him he groaned, this was either a lecture or a request, either way he didn't want to hear it. But being friends for such a long period of time gave Daniel the right to meddle with him all he wanted and for a moment Jack cursed the friendship clause that allowed it.

"So Jack, you coming with us?"

"Don't go off world any more Danny."

"Jack, do I have to mention why we want you to come with?"

"Daniel don't start."

"You have a natural flare for using ancient technology Jack! You have to come."

"Sheppard is good at it."

"Jack…"

"I'll talk to Janet about it."

"Thank you."

Jack O'Neill was not a happy camper. He knew what Janet's response would be and he knew Cassie's as well. Yet he had to admit going off world would feel good and Sparkplug had said risk was minimal, so maybe they would not object too much. Now rushing home, he saw the bunch of kids he was supposed to be playing with frowning at him. Yeah, sure, arrive 10 minutes late and they would be monsters instead of angels and then he saw it, a patch of blond hair and the all too familiar car parked in his driveway. Parking his truck, he frowned when he saw the kids looking at his house strangely; even April was out here walking towards them. He looked at the worried face of April and frowned. When he got out he heard the voices, the really loud almost screaming voices, coming from inside his house. Bending down he picked her up and glanced at the others. All eyes were on him and as the kids were about to talk, he raises his hand to stopped them. He didn't need all of them to talk at the same time.

"April what's going on?"

"Cassie got angry."

"Oh...OH ...ah… well lets see what's wrong ok?"

"Aunt Janet is mad."

"I know honey I'll straighten every thing out."

"Can I stay out here? I don't like it when they fight."

He looked at the yard full of kids and frowned. He couldn't leave them out here alone; that would be irresponsible. A small tap on his shoulder and he turned to the blue eyed ex colonel who smiled shy at him.

"I can watch them."

"Y-yeah… thanks Carter."

How was he going to deal with this, it was too much too soon and he hated her for it. Everything had been fine, everything was peachy and then she came back, waltzing right into their lives no warning, no nothing, just here I come and that is all; I'm here deal with it. What a brash attitude. He disliked that, hated it, but he couldn't blame her could he? Right now he didn't know, honestly he didn't, because his emotions were all over the place. He felt as he had always felt, attracted to her. Even now she was still Sam Carter and he was damn sure he still cared for her.

He was of course a good actor, he didn't show it, couldn't afford to; he was hurt. He buried every thing, yet it was eating him up. He was angry at her, he hated her, he knew that much. Mixed feelings were a bitch; but she had stolen that from him. She had cheated him out of a confrontation she had run away and he had let her run away.

"Cassandra Frasier!"

"What?"

"What is going on here?"

"Jack, thank God! Can you please deal with her?"

Janet Frasier's tired and exasperated expression was enough to tell Jack that Cassie was being a pain. The girl was a good kid, but had a mean streak like no other; he had seen that over the years. Much like all teens she had been rebellious and callous towards Janet. Now that she was an adult however, it seemed Janet's authority had started to diminish. His however was ever firm hence why Janet was pointing at Cassie. He needed to deal with her yet again. How do you deal with a young woman who is dead set on something?

"I don't need to be dealt with. I need her out of here!"

Jack turned toward his window that gave view to the outside and frowned, Samantha Carter. That was Cassie's problem. Things had never been resolved, feelings were still hurt and anger was ever present with them.

"April's befriended Aron. You want to tell her she can't see her friend?"

"Cassie, Jack lower your voices."

Janet was frustrated and angry. This situation was not one she had foreseen. Who would have thought that Samantha Carter would pull up in Jack's driveway? She didn't even know that Sam had been coming. Glaring at Jack, she waited for an explanation and the man frowned. This was not good he knew that much. Having two angry women in his house. Somehow whenever he'd pictured two women in his house, he hadn't see them angry at him, nor had he expected them to be his somewhat friend/mother/nagging wife and the other the adoptive daughter of the said friend/mother/nagging wife.

"Ok, ok. Look. Everyone calm down! There are kids outside and I for one don't want my neighborhood to know I have issues with my family."

"If you get her out of here every thing will be fine."

"Cassandra!"

"What? Mother don't tell me you're happy to see her here."

"I'm surprised, as a certain gray haired General forgot to even mention the fact that said ex colonel was coming."

"I didn't know."

That surprised them. His voice was sincere and Cassie's smirk made Janet frown, she was being vindictive towards Sam, not good. As for Jack, he just looked exhausted. He was not as good at dealing with this as he should have been. Janet knew that she should have talked about it as well, but they had let it die. Had never brought up the subject of Sam and her life, they had buried her and let the bad feelings fester up inside. That was never good and now they were seeing what it had done to Cassie. She was angrier than before. Taking a seat Janet held her face in her hands, what the hell had gone wrong with all of them? She didn't know.

They were Sam's friends, and even if she had made the decision to leave and be with Pete, they should still have tried. They hadn't, they'd been too hurt and too bitter that she had betrayed them like that, had not said a thing, not even included them in her life. Truth was, they had been as hurt as she was, perhaps even more and they had never once thought about why. They just thought about the betrayal and hurt and never considered Sam's own hurt and her own feelings. Taking a deep breath she glanced at Jack and Cassie. They were still going at it.

She had had enough, she might not like what Sam had done, but she didn't dislike the person. Janet couldn't dislike Sam; she was her best friend. Glancing out the window, she saw her standing there with Aron and April, the other kids long gone. Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the house, much to the surprise of Cassie and Jack. Glancing out the window, they saw Janet sit beside Sam on the front lawn.

"Figures."

"Cassie!"

She was gone up the stairs and into her room. Closing his eyes, Jack shook his head. This was beginning to feel like a nightmare. Cassie was going to be mad at Janet for a long while after this and now seeing Janet and Sam awkwardly sitting together, he felt betrayed by Janet. Why? Out of all of them, he had been the one who was hurt the most. Now the wound was reopening and as hard as he tried to keep it closed, it wouldn't stop and it hurt even more.

"Maybe I will be going off world." He said to himself and went to the kitchen.

Outside, Sam was nervous. Her mouth was dry; she did not know what to do. All she could think about was the woman sitting beside her. Once her best friend, Janet now scared the hell out of her. She did not know what she should say to her. Would she be angry? Would she be like Daniel or Teal'c? Or Jack? Janet's kindness made her somehow realizejust how much she had hurt the petite doctor. They were sisters; they had each other's backs, they cried on one another's shoulder.

If she was hurt, Janet would be there for her to always lend an ear. If she was jealous of Jack and some woman, Janet would be there. As was Sam for Janet, yet she had left her, had left her only sister. Sam frowned, a small tear escaping her eyes. She looked down at the grass and took a deep breath. She had to open the door, to say something, yet before she could say it; Janet as always beat her to the punch.

"So what have you been doing with your life?"

Sam smiled and wiped the tear away. She wanted to hug the woman but knew it was to soon. She just smiled and turned to look at Aron and April, a small smile on her lips.

"Learning to be a mother."

"How's that working for you?"

That was such a Jack thing to say that Sam felt her stomach tighten. Janet had been with Jack, had been there for him, while she had not. She glanced at Janet, but the doctor was watching April and Aron. She couldn't face her, not yet and Sam knew just who Janet had replaced her with, the signs were all there. Jack had been there for Janet when she was hurt, sad and lonely. It all came back to that man and Sam wondered if she would ever be able to escape his love.

"Not too bad I think."

Janet smiled and for a moment it felt like old times.

Continued 


	28. Chapter 29

Jumped one chapter why? chapter 28 is an NC-17 chapter, it takes place in the past and it's a moment between himself ad janet that explains why they are so close together. but its mainly an intimate moment between tham that is all.

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 29

"WHAT WENT WRONG"

Choices are made based on what you believe is the best option you have. Choices are made every single day and every single day there is one person who wonders if the choice she or he made is the right one. For many this is a question they continue to ask themselves long after the choice is made. Some times, it is the wrong choice and those are the ones that are regretted the most. Pete Shanahan saw that now he had made a choice, now he could either to fix it or move on.

A child and a wife. How do you move on from that? Is it even possible? Then again fixing it, how do you even start to fix something when you do not even know what it is that is broken? When your wife gives you mixed signals and your son is distant? How do you begin to understand the mistakes that need to be fixed, when you do not have an understanding of what went wrong in the first place?

It's quite simple. You can't and yet he knew the other option was as difficult as the first. Move on. And what? Leave your family behind? Leave your son and wife? Go visit him when a judge appoints you certain dates, lose half your paycheck to them and have to face the woman who you love and not be able to touch her, to feel her. That was no life; that was not moving on, that was simply avoiding the subject, avoiding the problems, running away from them.

He was not like that, he wasn't a quitter. He did not give up on things, and he just did not lose. He couldn't lose. He'd had it all planed out. Get married to a beautiful woman, have a child and finally have a family. That was what he'd wanted, why he'd married her, and why he was not going to let her go. She was as responsible for this mess as he was; she could have said no. She did not and now they had Aron, his son.

"My name is Pete Shanahan. I am a detective, married to Samantha Carter and I have a son named Aron. There have been problems in our marriage but nothing as severe as this latest fight and I find myself asking why I married her?"

"I see, Samantha?"

"I am Samantha Carter. I am an astrophysicist, married to Pete Shanahan and I have a son called Aron. Our problems were not that big, but this latest one has given me something to think about."

"Why are you here?"

"I am here to try and fix things for Aron, my son deserves a father," Pete answered.

"And you Mrs. Shanahan?"

"I don't think it will work. Not after the last incident."

They were with a counselor. The man looked at the two of them and shook his head. If there was ever a couple that had no idea what a marriage entailed, it was in front of him. They were each falling apart and even though his job was to try and fix marriages, this one was crumbling faster than he could glue them back together. Taking a deep breath he dove right in, he at least had to try. Divorces were ugly, but he at least needed to teach them how to be civil with one another for Aron's sake.

Yet glancing at the woman, he knew that it had been over for her for a long time. Only her husband hadn't known it. Why they had gotten married he didn't know. He knew that he needed to have private sessions with each of them or else this didn't have a chance. He knew it didn't regardless, but he at least was optimistic; positive thinking and all that. So he was going to do his job, even if it ended in failure. There was no way this man, Pete Shanahan, was going to be civil. 

He could not judge however, and just say that this marriage was doomed from the beginning, which was not the case. Most marriages started just right then as the years went by they slowly, but surely, fell apart. There were many factors, different reasons, yet here he saw something rare, both were willing to try to make there transition from married couple to divorces work. Yet he saw no love, no trust. All he saw from him was determination and stubbornness, and from the woman sadness and desperation, something had gone wrong since the beginning and he needed to know what it was.

To try and fix this, he needed to find out what had happened between them, their history and their lives together, since the point they met. Telling them this, he saw the woman flinch and look away. He saw the man frown and his gaze harden. This was not a good sign and he wondered just what in the world had possessed them to get married in the first place, this seemed to be going downhill fast and with divorce papers in the works. This relationship was doomed.

That however, did not mean that this was the end; they still needed to deal with the issue of what happened after the divorce, after the whole ordeal. Their relationship needed to still be stable. If not for them, at least for their son, who still needed a father and a mother, he needed to try to make them understand that, to at least patch some of this failed marriage.

"Janet."

His voice spoke to her so soft and with concern she took a deep breath and turned towards him, a small smile on her lips.

"I-I'm ok…"

She was not okay. Jack O'Neill was well aware of that and he didn't like it. He looked at her hands and saw the bunched up piece of paper. Frowning he sat beside her and pulled the crumbled paper from her hands.

"So what's up doc?"

"We need to talk…"

She hardened herself as much as she could and turned towards him. He smiled sadly at her and nodded. This had been coming for a long time now. It had to end sooner or later and now that Janet had seen how much of an impact one simple decision could bring to one's life, she had made her decision. A decision with out him. It hurt; he would not deny that, but he couldn't think about it much, or regret would set in.

"I understand."

"I never wanted to hurt you Jack and for that I'm sorry."

"Hey Doc, come on, it's nothing… just sex remember?"

She frowned and nodded. Yeah this was going to be hard for both of them, and she was a woman who was already insecure in her own beauty and self-conscious when it came to her body. He was a man who's only real relationship for a long while had been with her, if you could even call what they'd had a relationship, and then there was Daniel. He was worse off. He was clueless towards Janet's feeling and her denying them was not helping either. He was Daniel's best friend and Jack knew he had lost to the better man.

"Jack please don't…"

"I said it was fine Doc…"

He was Janet's best friend; she did not want to see him like this, to see him denying what they had shared. She knew it was more than sex because when they'd been together she had felt the emotions behind the act. She could see them in his face, feel them in his body and she knew this was hurting him.

No more late nights of pleasure and comfort, no more crying on each other's shoulders. It was back to being friends and nothing more. Back to being Colonel and Doctor. Janet didn't like it and as much as she was going to fight to keep their friendship strong, she knew he was going to need time before everything got sorted out, before he accepted that he was alone yet again.

Yet he was Jack O'Neill and he would still be there for her no matter how much it hurt and how much it pained him to lend his ear. He would be there for her, because that was the kind of man he was.

"You still have me Jack…"

"I know doc, I know."

"It's just a bit different is all."

"It's better."

"Jack…"

"You will be happy doc. All those nights we spent together, all I wanted was for you to be happy."

"Don't…"

"Are you happy?"

"Yes I am."

"Then I'm happy."

She leaned on him and hugged him, taking comfort in the fact that she had him. To talk to, to be there for her, it was always nice to have some one like that. Looking towards him, she saw him smile and wiggle his eyebrows. As always he managed to bring a smile to her face and she chuckled.

"I will be here for you always… You know that, right?" she asked.

"I know you will. You and space monkey?"

"Yeah this has to end. Either it becomes nothing or it becomes something ...I'm tired."

"Tired?" Jack questioned.

"Of me hiding my feelings, of running away. He won't make the first move, as for me… I have no idea how to make the first move. I'm going to try though."

"Well you made up your mind and I'll support you 100 ."

"Yes...I know. Thank you Jack... for every thing."

"No problem doc."

He smiled and left and she wondered yet again how this would affect him. She knew the smiles and the offer were there because he is her friend, but they had shared something special over the years and now that had come to an end. No more late nights, no more waking in each other's arms, and no more guilt. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and cursed her feelings.

It was not her fault. She knew that feelings could not be hidden, could not be put away, and one certainly could not choose whom to fall in love with. She knew that much, and it was not fair to Jack if she were to try to be happy with him, when she was in love with Daniel. That fact would only hurt him even more. Walking towards her office, she sat down and closed here eyes; she had hurt Jack. She didn't like that. Even if it was the right choice, it didn't mean she had to like it.

She had hurt a good friend, but that friend was happy for her and she was happy. Her heart had chosen long ago who to love, there was no denying it and no hiding it. She would follow her heart.

Continued 


	29. Chapter 30

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 30

"CHOICE"

From the moment he saw her, he had been attracted to her. She was a knock out, smart funny and beautiful. He thanked his friend for introducing them, and they had hit it off. They dated a long while and they had even discussed a future together. She was perfect. She would have his children, marry him and he would have a family. He was happy with that and for a moment, he believed she was happy also. He was wrong.

He was never the one she loved, but he believed the lie when she told it. He wanted to believe it, because he loved her. As the time went by and they got to know one another, he asked her to marry him. Two weeks and he was worried, but he waited patiently and the waiting paid off. She had become his fiancée and nothing could go wrong. She was going to marry him and they were going to be happy with one another.

He loved her; she never did love him. He had seen how the move had hurt her, how everything seemed to bother her to a certain extent. He thought that with time things would get better, that it was just the change and that once she had settled in Denver, she would then settle with him and be happy, just as he was. He was wrong. He knew he was wrong and he looked away. He couldn't accept it and denied it at every turn.

How could you marry someone who you did not love? That was impossible, right? Sure, there were marriages made out of greed and some out of anger and even those out of pity, but he refused to believe that his marriage was anything like that. She loved him. She had told him so many times, and what better proof to show someone your love, than to have a baby? When Aron and the pregnancy came, he knew that he had been wrong. She did love him; she did want to be with him.

For a moment, just a brief moment, he believed they could actually be happy. With Aron now by their side, everything was happiness and joy. He had felt a huge worry lift from his shoulders. She was not going to leave him, not now that she loved him. She had had his son; they were a family, and families stuck together. Her attitude had changed, she was happy. He could actually see her being genuinely happy, enjoying her time with him and with the baby. She was happy and he believed that she had finally moved on.

He had been wrong. Aron's school year was about to start, and he could see she had returned to her cold self, as if analyzing everything. Thinking about every word, every action over and over again and then she came home and handed him an envelope.

"You know I been assisting the Air Force in some of the research and development at the military academy, right?"

"Yes."

"They offered me a position."

"That's great!"

"In Colorado Springs... they want me back."

"I thought you retired."

"I did... I'll be a civilian."

He didn't like it, she knew that, but she wanted this job. He couldn't say no. She had once moved and left everything behind for him. He would do the same for her. As they began to pack and get things ready, his doubt and fear increased. He was insecure in their marriage, he was unsure if it was going to survive here in Denver, but now going back to Colorado Springs, he was more afraid than ever.

"This is more than a transfer, isn't it?"

"Y-yes it is... I want to be back home Pete. Denver is great, but the way I left things… the way I left… I need to fix this."

"Why?"

"They were my family, my friends. I just can't go on like this, knowing that I hurt them."

"Sam I'm sure they understood your reasons. You don't owe them any thing."

"I know, but I owe it to myself. I need to do this Pete."

"Ok then. We'll go to the Springs."

"I'm sorry for this."

"Hey it's going to be okay. I don't like it, but we can make it work."

"Yeah we can."

Somehow he knew then that they were not going to be able to. The expression she'd given him and the way she'd hugged him had told him that she was as scared as he was. Only he was scared of losing her, while she was scared of going back, of seeing and confronting everyone. She wanted to be back in their lives. He knew that much. She had never been able to connect, to make real friends here. She couldn't talk much about her past seeing as how her whole life was mostly work related, and couldn't connect with others like she had with her friends.

She was from another world. He could feel that even late at night when they were sleeping together. She never felt real, she felt so distant, as if he was dreaming and she was simply there to tease him and make him see what he had and yet did not have. But he didn't care because the reality was that he had her, and she was his. Samantha on the other hand felt content, as she had always felt content. She had a husband, a child, the white picket fence and everything was okay with her life.

But there was her past life she had to fix. She needed to try. She couldn't start a new life without dealing with the old, without confronting them and making them see why she'd done what she had, and she was sure that once they saw Aron, once they saw her with her family that they would understand. But she knew she was fooling herself. She was well aware of the fact that her marriage was crumbling around her, but just like her father she was to stubborn to admit defeat, to admit that she had been wrong.

She needed one last test to prove to herself that she had made the right choice. She needed to see him one more time, to talk to him one last time. She needed to say good bye. That was her plan to befriend them, to regain her family and friends and to finally close that chapter in her life, and start anew. Her plan was perfect. She was going to confront them tell them and make them understand.

She was going to see him, to prove to herself that he meant nothing to her, that she had no more feelings for that man, to prove to him that she had indeed moved on and that they could now finally become friends and finally put their feelings to rest.

She was wrong about what she felt for him.


	30. Chapter 31

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 31

"HELLO MOTHER, HELLO FATHER"

Crazy sunshine. It was getting on her nerves and everything around her seemed too cheery and happy, she hated it. Right now she was in no mood to be happy. She had been in a fight with her mother, and Jack seemed to be torn between the two. And now she had to contend with Teal'c, the jaffa who had not said a word since they had gotten here, to this oh so lovely day of recreation with April, who was currently rushing from swing to swing, having the time of her life, the incident all but forgotten.

She wished she could be a kid then she could be rude with out having to excuse or apologize for her behavior. She could throw tampers tantrum and even hit people. Sure, she would be punished, but then it would all be over. Ah, the simplicity of being a kid. So much harm could be done and so little punishment could be given. She missed that about being a kid, but being an adult had its advantages.

"So you have seen Sam?"

"Indeed I have."

"And?"

"She will not succeed."

"Oh really? The way I hear it, Daniel says you were all chummy with her."

"I was polite. I do not wish to alienate a coworker. That however does not mean I have forgiven what she has done."

"Yeah right, you're all suckers."

"Are we?"

"She has you right were she wants you and you're all falling for it. You are all giving her a chance. Jack… well Jack I can't read."

"What of me?"

"You my friend I do not know."

Truth was neither did Teal'c. The man was a strong warrior and loyalties were the utmost important thing to him. Samantha Carter had betrayed that, she had left them and had not even spoken to him. Had their friendship meant so little to her? He didn't know and he didn't want to find out. Unlike the others, he was a warrior. He dealt with emotional blows all the time and moved on, and O'Neill was like that, even if his methods were somewhat strange.

They were in a one of a kind, he knew that and now wondered just how Jack was dealing with this whole situation. They were all so caught up in their own feelings about Sam that they had neglected to wonder just how O'Neill was. Frowning he glanced at Cassie, who was still watching April with a somewhat annoyed look.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I wonder…"

"Wonder?"

"If Sam is using April to get close to us…"

"Then she would be using her own child and I do not think she would do that. Nor would she use another child."

"Yeah you're right… then again we never thought she would leave us and she did."

"Cassandra…"

"I'm going with April."

Teal'c knew this was a battle he would not be able to win. Cassandra was set firm in her resolve to not even talk to Samantha, and the only ones who would be able to talk to her without her walking away or blowing up in their faces were her mother and O'Neill. Daniel had told him of his little success and now he had had the same luck. The young woman had taken up most of Jack's traits. She was hard when she wanted to be and sweet when she needed to be. It was only Janet who kept the influence of Jack's personality at bay. Without her they would have another version of O'Neill running around.

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to them and wondered just what it was that would finally make Cassandra talk. He knew the girl would most probably go to O'Neill. The only problem was that Jack was no better at dealing with emotions than she was.

"Excuse me?" Jack stood in the lab at the SGC, arms folded and stared at it.

"Just touch it please."

"Sparkplug, why would I do that?"

"It will be fun."

"For who?"

"If this is an ancient device, you could trigger it," commented Sam.

"Yeah, Doctor Carter is right, General."

"What if it's a bomb?"

Two geniuses in the same complex and none of them had thought of that. Sometimes he liked having a simple mind, being able to not over think things and just blab whatever he was thinking. Glancing at the two, he knew that they were now considering his words. Bad sign was that neither of them seemed to be sure if it was or wasn't.

"Ok, run some tests. Do your genius thing and get back to me."

"Ah, General?"

"What?"

The look the little genius was giving him was that of a spoiled kid who hadn't gotten something she wanted. Then it clicked and he smirked. Yeah, Hailey was definitely a spoiled kid despite being the most ingenious woman he knew. Other than Carter, that is.

"Right, you're right. Your mission. Ok then, Carter it's all yours."

"Yes, sir."

He nodded and left. Carter looked at Hailey who smiled and began to file some reports. She had a mission off world today and Sam had not been told. Being a civilian had is disadvantages.

"So you're going off world?"

"Yes maam. SG-1 and SG-2 will be departing."

"Must be a big mission."

"Nah, just an ancient war ship, no big deal."

The rush of new tech was all Sam had now. She wouldn't be going off world to see this technology. She would get a report; do her own analysis and ship it to Area 51. After that, she wouldn't know what it did or what it was used for. Sure, someone might ask for her opinions or send her some schematics, but that was about it. Her clearance was high enough. They just had their own ways of dealing with things now. She was no longer the go to girl.

She didn't like that. Work was hard enough, but throw in the conflict she called her personal life and it was ten times worse. She was working hard on solving the problems with her marriage, yet for everything that was fixed and mended other things were beginning to break and crumble. She had to try to make it a clean break; she knew that much. If not for herself or Pete, then for Aron. He needed to have a family, to have both parents getting along. So she was trying her best to mainatin a friendly relationship with Pete, no matter how futile it was. She was not a quitter.

"So I heard you're leaving early tonight?" Hailey asked.

"Yes, family night."

"Oh, how is your kid."

"He is doing ok. A bit of a hand full at the time. That's how all kids are."

"Boy, tell me about it. The General's daughter is one hyper little girl. I mean he calls me sparkplug, but you should see his daughter."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Kid's full of energy. I mean Cassie can hardly put up with her and she's as hyper as the kid."

"H-how… has she been?"

Hailey heard the way Sam's voice cracked and she flinched and cleared her throat. Yeah, this was going to be a conversation she was definitely not looking forward to. She cursed herself for talking about Cassie and April as if Sam knew what she was talking about. Truth was her mind did slip on occasion. She hadn't known Sam as they had, but she knew how hurt they all had been and now that Sam was back she hadn't thought about how hard it had been on the woman also.

She was well aware of the tension between the others and Sam. Until now she had ignored it and gone on with her work. She now wished she hadn't. Maybe then she would have been ready to answer that question without looking like a fish out of water and without the tension that was slowly building. This was uncomfortable for both of them and by the look on Sam's face the question would remain until she answered it.

"S-she… ah, she's been well."

"That's good... studied medicine?"

"Ah, no. She's actually an arts major, restoring pictures and stuff like that."

"Oh ... so... you've know her a long time right? I mean since I left and all you well ..."

"This is awkward…"

"Very."

"So why don't you just tell me what you want to know ok? I ...I don't like this thing between you and me. I mean I know why the others are all distant from you. I can't blame them... but you and I, we didn't actually spend a lot of time together."

"True. It is strange having to ask you about them."

"Well I can't tell you much, you know that right? I mean they're my friends first."

Sam nodded. Yeah she knew that much, the younger woman wasn't going to tell her everything, but that was okay. She only needed to find out how they were, how they had been and so on. She had hoped that by now they could have befriended one another a bit more, but it hadn't been so. She had made a somewhat terrible first impression, and with everything that had happened, they had pulled away from her, distancing themselves from her.

"I understand... I just want to know how they've been."

"They've been okay. Same old, same old... I-I'm not going to lie to you... T-they were hurt really hurt."

"I know."

"I've never seen them like that... it was scary. The General, Daniel, Teal'c, Janet. They were all so out of it, like they couldn't believe what had happened."

"I shouldn't have left, but I needed to. I don't know if you can understand that."

"I think I do... but there are other ways of doing things, I learned that also."

She was right and Sam smiled. Once she had been her mentor and now it seemed that Hailey had gown up and was better than her when it came to dealing with problems.

"Yeah, I think I know that now."

"Well that's good. I would hate to see you running away again."

"Despite what you think, I didn't run away."

"Ok. I apologize, but you did leave them behind and you know the General's rule."

"No one gets left behind." Hailey smiled and winked as she headed out of the lab, leaving Sam to think and wonder if it was as simple as that. Her mind told her it wasn't, and yet the one thing she had never listened to, told her otherwise. And she wondered if it was right.


	31. Chapter 32

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 32

"ORDER"

"Dad, do you think this is ok?"

"April, I'm just dropping you off. No big deal, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but I don't know… Cassie was pretty angry."

"I'll talk to her, ok?"

"I don't like it when she is angry. Aunt Janet is sad."

"I know kid, but while you're away I will talk to both of them and get all this straightened out."

"Okay!"

Truth was he was not sure how the hell he was going to deal with Janet and Cassie; he had no idea how to even begin. Thing was, both women were close to his heart and he didn't want to hurt either of them. He just wanted to clear the air, make Cassie understand and make Janet help him, which was the wild card he hoped wouldn't back fire in his face. Oh how he hoped this night would be a good night.

She was exited. April O'Neill was going to visit her friend, her dad was going to drop of her off and then he would pick her up later; and everything was going to be fine. She was happy with that. Aron was her friend, quickly becoming her best friend, and she was going to meet his dad and get to know his mom, whom she somewhat already knew. But now she was going to get to know them better. Dinner, a few games. She smiled as her dad walked her to the front door.

The doorbell rang and Pete Shanahan's face appeared. The slight frown did not go unnoticed by Jack and the mantra he had picked up so long ago returned. He didn't like it, not one bit. Yet he smiled and raised his eyebrows. As always being nonchalant, yet a very very awkward moment arose and tension filled the air. Thank God for kids.

"April!!"

Aron rushed towards the door and smiled. April did the same and Jack let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Pete smiled forcefully and Jack's eyes turned from mildly amused and uncomfortable to serious. Pete smiled and looked at the kids. Jack didn't like this one bit.

"This is my dad. He's back."

"Yeah, told ya he would!"

"I guess I leave you to it April. Behave, ok?"

"Yes dad!"

"General."

Sam's voice sounded from within and the tension returned a hundred fold. Pete harrumphed and walked inside leaving him with the kids. Jack groaned and shook his head. This was a lot harder than he had thought it would be. Sam was being the peacemaker in a war he did not even know existed. She was trying to mend the gap between himself and Pete. Jack was no liar, he disliked the man. Something about Pete set him off; something about the other man always unnerved him to no end. But he had no quarrel with the man or with the woman.

A voice in his head told him otherwise. He would ignore it, as always and he would be just fine with that fact. He smiled at her and she returned his smile. She was making an effort to join both worlds, Jack O'Neill respected that. It was an up hill battle, but she never had been a quitter. That was what he liked about her.

"Hey Carter. Just dropping off April."

"You're not staying for dinner?"

"Ah, sorry, no. I got to a date with two lovely ladies."

"Two you say?"

"Daddy! It's just Cassie and Aunt Janet!"

Sam chuckled and Jack rolled his eyes. Kids were oh so good at turning a tense situation into a fun one. He smirked and bent down to kiss April.

"Ah, squirt, you spoiled my fun!"

"Sorry Dad."

"It's ok. Now behave and be polite ok? Listen to what Sam says."

"Yes Dad."

He smiled and said his good byes. Heading towards the car, he felt someone watching him from the doorway. Turning around he saw Sam looking towards him. He smiled and waved goodbye. This was weird. He had never pictured this scenario. Taking a deep breath he drove off and wondering about the two ladies that were waiting at his house. He knew that right about now they would be looking at each other just waiting for him, annoyed and angry. That was good; they would be angry at him, not at each other.

"So guys… food or play first?" Sam asked April and Aron.

"Play!"

"Ok then."

Sam smiled and led them inside the house. When she had told Hailey about family night she had no idea Aron would invite his friend. When he had asked her, she had told him that yeah he could bring his friend along. Her son of course had been quick to point out that it was O'Neill's kid. To say that she had been surprised was an understatement. She had just looked at him like a fish out of water, trying to get what he had just told her.

She had of course recovered soon enough and reassured him that every thing was ok, and that they should get ready. The play area in the back yard was set up, everything a five year old would need to not get bored. At least she hoped that it was everything a five year old needed to not get bored. Truth was, this had been unexpected. She had thought their evening would consist of her, Pete and Aron. As it turned out April was added to family night and her husband was not happy.

"So family night, huh?"

"Pete, he invited her."

She hushed him and watched the kids from within the house. They were already outside, rushing around chasing one another.

"You could have said no, you know?" Pete continued.

"Right. Tell our son that his only friend is not welcome."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"What do you mean Pete?"

"You know what I meant."

She shook her head and walked into the kitchen. This was getting them both nowhere. What good was making an effort when her partner was doing everything to be a hard ass. She knew that was what he was being, he was acting sweet one minute, and the next he was a hard ass trying to get his way and using this therapy to try to pull something. She was no fool and she hated seeing her husband as the bad guy.

Yet while he might not be a bad guy, he was sure as hell acting like one and she didn't like it, not one bit. If this was how it was going to be, then she had to end it. A bad relationship was no relationship at all

"So how you been?" Pete asked.

"I've been doing ok. Thinking about getting my own apartment, you know? With the divorce and everything… I don't think it's such a good idea if…"

"Is that really necessary? Sam come on let's just…"

"Pete we aren't making any progress and you know it as well as I do."

"No, but you sound as if you're ready to throw it in the towel. We have to at least try to be civil around each other for Aron's sake."

"I want to do that Pete, but your behavior just now…"

"I think I have a right to be angry."

"At a five year old!"

"Look I'm not angry at her ok just ... this was supposed to be our night. Aron, you and me. Instead we have his kid running around."

"We still have our night and we get to meet Aron's friend. What's so wrong with that?"

He moved uncomfortably and shifted from one leg to another. He was nervous and hiding something from her. She raised an eyebrow and gave him her "what are you up to" look. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Looking straight at her he shook his head and shrugged.

"It's his kid."

Jack O'Neill was in trouble, no doubt about that. Two women who were mildly angry at one another were directing their hatred towards him. Not something he liked. Taking off his jacket he walked towards the living room. He needed to be blunt about this. Sure this was hard on all of them, but Cassie was just closed off from them. The last conversation he'd had with Teal'c had told him just how much the girl needed to get out in the open.

"So why we are here Jack?" Janet said.

"We know why we're here."

"Oh yeah, Sam Shanahan."

"Cassie!"

"What mom? It's true. I mean you're both here to defend her, right?"

To have her mother and Jack confront her about Sam was a betrayal. It felt like that to her. They were supposed to be there for her, to understand her, yet they seemed to be siding with Sam, the one who had hurt her so much.

"We're not here to defend anyone Cass. Your mom and I are just worried about you, ok?"

"Worried about me?"

"Jack and I think that you should talk to Sam."

"Yeah right, like that's ever going to happen."

"Cass, your mom is right. You have to talk to her and maybe you can… I don't know… talk."

"Have you talked to her Jack? Asked why she left?"

He looked away. No, he hadn't. She was just another transfer scientist under his command. He was civil towards her and treated her no differently than any other co-worker or mother he met at the school. Truth was, he was hiding from her, keeping his distance; there wasn't much he could do with out risking too much. Janet's hand reached towards his and squeezed it, reassuring him.

"This isn't about Jack and us. This is about you."

"Look, I don't want to see, hear or talk about her, ok?"

"You're going to have to sooner or later. She will come to you Cass."

"Your mom's right, Cassie. Come on you don't have to like her, but…"

"But nothing. I won't be like that. I know how mom reacted. She was her best friend. I know Daniel's soft, he can't stay mad at someone for long, but I'm not like them."

"Damn it Cassie, that's the whole point!"

"What?"

"I don't want you to be like me!"

Jack's voice was raw and she took a step back, her eyes wide. Jack's eyes were cold and hard and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself, to be strong.

"Y-you don't want to be like me. I don't want you to be like this, an emotional mess who runs away from everything, never deals with how he feels. I'm a coward, Cassie. I don't want you to feel dead inside."

"J-jack I ..."

"It's not about running away honey; it's about being strong and confronting that which you hate or fear. It's about dealing with your feelings and dealing with the betrayal pain and everything," said Janet.

"Mom I ... I didn't… I never ..."

"Listen to your mother, Cass. She is way smarter than any of us."

He pulled away from Janet and walked away. He needed to control himself again. The two watched him leave and sat back down on the couch. Cassie looked at her mom who smiled sadly at her.

"He's hurting more than any of us. He never stopped hurting."

"Mom?"

"He just dealt with the pain. He always deals with the pain in his own way. He focuses so much on April and us that he forgets about himself sometimes."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped."

"You couldn't have Cassie; none of us can help him. I did my best, still do my best, but I know that the only one who can help him is himself. He needs to just accept that what Sam did destroyed him."

"And still you want me to talk to her?"

"For him Cass, just talk to the woman."

"Why? I don't want to."

"Jack is complex Cass. He worries about all of us. He doesn't like it when one of us is off. That's why he tries so hard to hide when he is hurting. So just talk to Sam and put his mind to ease ok?" Janet pleaded.

"I'll think about it."

"Ok."

"I… I need to go clear my head and think a while... see you at home?"

"No I ... I'll wait for him."

"Tell him I'll try, ok?"

"I will honey."

Continued…


	32. Chapter 33

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 33

"YET AGAIN"

His smile is fake, and she can see that from the get go. She can also feel the fear in April, children can sense when something is wrong and by the way Pete has been acting Sam knows that April is well aware that Aron's dad doesn't like her; a child will not understand this, and will believe that she has done something wrong. She will probably not want to return and will no longer want to be friends with Aron. Samantha knows this because as she looks at her son she knows that he feels the same way, that he knows there is something wrong and can't figure out what.

He will try to talk to April, and the girl will say nothing. She will pout and will just want to go home; she knows this all too well, she has been there before, she was the smart one of the group. Other parents looked down at her because their kids were not as smart as she was, she could always tell when parents shot her dirty looks, and spoke of her behind her back; Samantha Carter was familiar with that feeling and she didn't like it.

"Can I go home?"

The meek voice of the girl broke her heart, and made her blood boil, clenching her fist, she swallows the lump on her throat and she sees Aron stand up and rush away from the table. The night has become a disaster and it is all her husband's fault. Looking at him she wonders why he is being like this, but gets no answer, he simply stands and walks away. Turning towards the girl sitting at the table she smiles tries to smile for her sake, but it will not work.

"Its not your fault honey, it's just he had a bad day at work is all he is just tired."

"Ok."

Sam detected the lie fast, she grimaced when she saw the sad look on the girl is face, so she does not look at her. She just sits there staring at her food, every thing about April tells Sam that the kid wants to get out of here as soon as possible.

"So you want to go play with Aron?"

"I want to go home."

"I can call your dad…"

"Okay."

No answer on his cell phone, calling his house she was bit surprise to hear Janet's voice, but then remembered that he was meeting with her so he probably was with her still. She frowns at that fact, after all Janet was now closer to the general perhaps closer than she had ever been.

"Janet it's Sam."

"Something wrong?"

"No, April wants to go home."

"I'll be right there."

She knew the tone of voice all to well, and she did not like the situation she was put in. Walking towards the dining room she smiled when she saw April cleaning the dishes. The girl smiled up at her and continued with her work, Sam decided to help her along. She was good and Sam was surprised at the fact that April was good at trying to hide what she was feeling just like her old man.

"So were did you learn to clear the table?"

"Aunt Jan taught me I can always help wash the dishes. Daddy says I'm to young but aunt Jan and Cassy let me help them when it's there turn."

"Oh and your daddy doesn't?"

"Nope, he only lets me dry them. Says I play too much in the water."

April smiled and the two continued to talk; much to Sam's surprise the girl was a world of insight into the workings of Jack and the relationship he shared with his kid. As story after story of Jack and April antics rolled out of the girl's mouth, she smiled and continued to listened as they cleared the tables and headed for the kitchen. April continued to talk happily to the woman who smiled and nodded at her. She liked talking to her.

"So then daddy was all covered in ketchup."

A story about Jack and Daniel and one of their many bbq they had.

"Sam."

"Yeah honey?"

"Why was Aron's dad angry at me?"

How do you answer that? How do you tell her that is not she that he is angry at, but at her dad, that he feels threatened and fears that Jack O'Neill was the cause of his divorce, how do you explain that? You can't. All you can do is try and make her feel comfortable and to not show her that you blame her for every thing. So slowly she bends down and takes her in her arms.

"It's ok honey he... he is not mad, just bad day at work is all. Come on let go see how Aron is doing, ok?"

She can't shed tears, not in front of the little girl, she has to be strong and show April that there is nothing wrong, that it was just her ex husband's attitude, that she was welcomed here in her home to visit Aron whenever and yet she knows that the girl is not buying any of it. She can see right trough Sam's attempted distractions techniques, she is smart and for the first time Sam wonders about the girl's genetics.

"I don't think Aron is going to be happy to see me."

"Of course he will honey. Why wouldn't he want to speak to you or see you?"

"Because I made his daddy angry."

Janet Frasier looked at the doorway and frowned, she needed to go and get April from Sam is house. Jack O'Neill was not going to be around for a while, his cell phone was off and he needed time to get back his composure and try to calm himself. After all emotional displays and long emotion speeches were something he didn't do very often. Hell, he almost never did them. When he did do them, it drained him and made him see things he never wanted to see.

That was Jack O'Neill trough and trough, he dealt with his demons all on his own. He had opened to her, but now it seemed he was retreating to himself yet again; returning to his old Jack self, not relating to any of them or talking about how he felt. He never did that, but troughout the years he had at least talked to her, now it seemed he did not want anyone to see how much he was hurting with Sam's return.

Leaving a quick note she heads for her car and wonders just what went wrong with April's play date with Sam's son. Jack had not mentioned anything about it when he had arrived. So what ever had caused the tone in Sam's voice was bad. She didn't even want to think about something happening to that little girl.

"Honey, Aron is not angry because of that, he is upset because his dad left, but I'm sure he is not angry at you."

"You sure?"

"Of course I am honey, you'll see."

Looking at the little girl Sam knew that she was not to blame for what had happened and she was going to do everything in her power to make her feel at home and was going to reassure her that Aron was not angry at her. Walking towards her son's room she knocks and opens the door silently.

"Honey you ok?"

She could see him sitting down silently in his bed looking at the small toy car. Walking inside, April silently follows her and she frowns when she sees her friend sadly sitting down on the bed. Before Sam could say or do any thing to comfort her child, April rushed towards him and stops in front of the boy.

"I'm sorry I made you sad."

The boy looks up at her and then at his mom who sits beside him nodding.

"We're both sorry honey and I'm sure you dad is also."

"Yeah ok. I'm sorry I caused troubled mom."

"Oh honey you were no trouble. And next time you and April have a play date I'll be sure to make it work out ok."

"Do you want to still be my friend April?"

"Yeah you bet."

He smiles and the worry he has been feeling has lifted; as they are heading downstairs and into the living room to watch some TV, a knock on the door announces Janet Frasier arrived and Sam smiles at April.

"I called Janet."

Walking towards the front door she sees the woman standing on the porch. Her face shows sings of exhaustion and Sam knows that something else has happened, something completely unrelated to what has happened at her house.

"So April ready to go?"

"I don't know. April?"

"I don't know. I want to stay a little more."

Janet frowned and nodded, kids were unpredictable and as the kids rushed towards the living room to play, Sam signaled her to follow her towards the kitchen for a cup of coffee. She needed that and by the look on Janet's face she did also. Arriving in the kitchen, Janet smiled and sat in one of the chairs, while Sam prepared the coffee. It was weird to be here in this house and with the person preparing the coffee. It was weird and oh so familiar.

"So ah sorry I called, but April wanted to go."

"Yeah ah why was that?"

"She didn't feel comfortable with Pete."

"Oh…well I guess hard night?"

"Yeah….and by the look on your face so did you."

"You have no idea. I guess having to deal with kids never ends."

"Cassie?"

"Yeah. Jack and I had a little chat with her."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, she will baby sit for you, ok?"

That brought a smile to the blonde's lips and Janet smirked. She had a full emotional night, she did not need to have another and for now all she needed was for them to talk like old times.

"I think that Samantha has the right idea."

"You agree with her?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Shanahan, but unless you can get pass this jealousy I don't see how much head way we can make."

"So I should just sign the papers. Is that the best option?"

"I'm afraid so, yes."

"Fine! She can take the house."

"No."

She was not going to live in his house. No, she wanted to feel as if the separation was real, wanted to breath without having his presence around her; much to the anger of her husband. The doctor agreed with her, they needed to accept the divorce. Then they could, if they wanted to, start a new. The doctor however knew that this was giving them false hopes, but you never know. It could work for them to accept the change that had happened to them.

Everything had gone wrong since they had returned. Sam didn't know what or why it had gone down hill so fast, but she knew it had happened and now she was once again the bad guy. She was moving out of his house into a small two-bedroom apartment. Aron was anything but pleased with the move and she couldn't blame him, dad was not going to be home anymore, he moving to another place. This was not healthy for him, but she also knew that the old saying stay together for the kid didn't apply here.

It was better if they just parted ways. She knew it was slowly but steadily coming along, but she refused to see the changes that had been occurring to her ever since aron was born. She had been back on her feet, when she felt a itch that she couldn't scratch, she wanted to do something more, to be able to use her brain and as much as she tried to deny the facts, she knew that she wanted out of her marriage. For a long time now, she was just to busy with Aron to pay any attention and in some ways she was also not used to dealing with failures.

She knew there was nothing wrong with their marriage, they had been happy for a while. There was just something off. Pete was good to her, made her happy but, somehow it had always felt off, somehow it had been a constant question on the back of her mind. Question that she couldn't answer and that she refused to listened too, the one question that was primarily always hovering around her head was a 'what if' that she didn't even want to think about.

"Carter."

"Sir."

She had been caught day dreaming for the second time in the meeting. Shaking her head Jack closed his eyes and looked at SG-1. They to seemed a bit concerned for the woman. In all the years they had know Sam she had never once day dreamed on a briefing.

"Ok people we'll take it up tomorrow go rest and do your thing."

"Yes sir."

"Carter, my office please."

SG-1 filed out of the room and she followed him into his office. She didn't want to be face to face alone with this man. He was beginning to unnerve her even more each day that passed. His eyes seemed to be more intense, his demeanor seemed to be stronger and she didn't like where her mind was taking her.

"Ok, what's going on?"

"Sir?"

"Look, we have a huge ancient battle cruiser stuck on another planet, most of it intact. I need your head on the game. So again what is going on?"

"I'm sorry sir, it wont happened again. It's just I been busy with the new diagnostics and…"

"Ok, see, even after five years I can still read you like a book, I know it's more than that."

"Personal issues sir and I don't think they are relevant to…"

"They are relevant when it affects your work."

"I moved out of the house sir."

"I'm sorry?"

That had throw him for a loop and Sam knew she had just made a huge error. This was not going well. Taking a deep breath she averted her gaze and looked at any thing but his face. There is something about his eyes that always had made her nervous.

"I left Pete...I-I'm moving into a new apartment. I'm getting divorced and and it's complicated."

"Oh jeez…"

He was angry and annoyed, on the other hand he was right and she knew it. He had no time to deal with an emotionally ringed out scientist. He had a whole base under his command, not to mention the meetings with the Atlantis expedition and now the ancient war ship that could give them an advantage over the Wraith. She knew she was going to be sent home until every thing was straightened out.

"Ok, well, two options Carter. One you go home, handle your affairs, or you shape up and concentrate here at work."

"I… I think I'll take a few days off sir. I really need to."

"Say no more."

"Sir... Jack, I'm sorry about this I... I'm just becoming another burden for you and the base."

"Look Carter, things have been rough, but fact is we still need you here at the SGC. Hailey had more time to do her field work and finished her reports and the techno geeks at Are 51 don't pressure her so much, so take your time off."

"I see…"

They hold their gaze for a while before she broke it. Walking away, they both know that there was something more to that lingering gaze and Jack doesn't like it one bit. He had no time for this whole 'I think there is a maybe'. He is too old, sure he doesn't look it, but he knows it. He is well aware that he is way older than he looks, looking at the files on his desk he wonders if he should reassign Hailey and just let McKay deal with the whole thing. Then again, doctor weird needs him as much as he needs Hailey.

Carter is an added bonus. She frees Hailey, which in turns make her be able to be there with the other eggs, head on the field. Now Carter was going to be taking some time off. He can understand how hectic her life was, but he does not like it when it interferes with her work life. A knock on his door and Janet's smiling face. He smirks and takes a deep breath.

"Hard day?"

"Janet, you have no idea."

"I gather the steaming Sam coming out of your office has something to do with it?"

"Yeah, something like that. Listen I'm going to be a bit late tomorrow to see April. McKay needs me for some crap over at the battle cruiser."

"No problem. I can handle April and I think it will be good for Cassie and me to spend some time together."

"Good, then ill leave you to it."

"Jack ... you haven't forgotten have you?"

He cursed and closes his eyes, this is not happening. It's been a couple of weeks already and he doesn't know what is worse. Carter's surprise leave of absence or Janet getting on his case. Taking a deep breath he looks at her straight in the eyes. He is trying to speak with them to make her see he does not want to talk about anything, but she doesn't and won't back down.

"Well have you talked to the man?"

"That's not the issue now is it?"

"Janet, come on, I can't go into this right now after the mission."

"You promised."

"Yes. Me promise and you?"

"After the mission."

Yeah after the mission everything will be confronted. She will speak to Daniel and he will speak to her, to all of them. He isn't looking forwards to it, but then he knows that this Sam situation has to be dealt with; all those issues need to be resolve, he can't have chaos in his life not right now. He is tired of it.

"You're telling me that you're taking off." Hailey said shocked.

"I'm sorry to bail on you."

"Yeah, oh man the General is going to bench me on the next mission I just know it."

"I am really sorry. Look I'll make it up to you."

"Oh you better."

"I will, I will."

"So how is your son?"

"Good I guess. I mean I don't think he completely gets what's going on. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing."

"Trust me you are."

"Oh?"

"Having a mother and father going at it it's not fun, trust me on that one."

Sam nodded, she didn't need to ask her any more questions. Jack had also told her something similar. Two people couldn't be mistaken. Yeah perhaps it was better like this. Thinking of the mission she wondered just what they were going to find in the war ship. Preliminary scans showed that in fact it was a war ship, but they needed Jack to make the damned thing work properly.

"So when are you going to talk to Cassy and the others?"

Yeah she didn't know when she was going to actually be able to muster up the courage to face them, all of them, she had talked to them separately and the conversation between herself and Janet was encouraging enough, as well as the one with Daniel and Teal'c. Jack however was a whole different story. He was closed off and distant, as if he didn't even care she was back and had a husband and kid. It was as if things hand not changed for him and that worried her a lot.

Cassy was another matter entirely. She was no way near as forgiving as Daniel or understanding as Janet and was twice as stubborn as Jack and she could be as hard and cold as Teal'c if she wanted to. Cassy was indeed a hard shell to break and she didn't know were to begging with her.

"I don't know. I talked to the others, it was hard but things were said. That hurt both of us."

"Ah you're talking about Cassy?"

"As well as every one else. Bad decision on my part, I know that now and I don't expect them to understand my reasons."

"You don't expect them to understand your reasons. That's funny, I thought your reasons were the cause of all of this."

"I made some stupid mistakes. Huge ones I won't deny that, but I have Aron and I had a nice marriage I don't regret that."

Hailey shock her head and chuckled, the woman was very smart but was dum as a stump when it came to her personal life, friend and family included. Samantha Carter had no idea how to deal with them, and she was stubborn. Hailey glanced at her one more time, and Sam this time recognized that look and frowned. There was something behind that look that told her she was approaching this from the wrong angle.

Yet when she had returned she had made no decision, no nothing on how to approach this, on how to befriend them once again and regain her lost family. She believed that after a while they would simply accept her, just like Jack had done when they first meet and how he had accepted Daniel. It had been hard but eventually they had become the best of friends, yet as she began to think about it, she saw that things were not going that way.

No, things were definitely going the opposite way, instead of slowly and steadily getting re-acquainted with them she had just bumped into Jack and had acted on impulse, her plan long forgotten and she didn't know what she was going to do now. She had meet them all to soon, talked about mundane things and even had some conversations, deep conversations with Daniel, Janet and her father. So far Teal'c, Jack and Casey were left out of the loop.

Not how she wanted to start this. Glancing at Haily, she saw the small girl working hard on some report and wondered if she knew more than she was telling. She had to, after all she had lived with her friends for more than five years.

"You think I'm doing this all wrong don't you?"

"It took you this long to figure this out?"

"I've been screwing up all over again haven't I?"

"No, you just didn't give them time to adjust to your returning and if you want to really go back to the way things were, you better be ready to give some serious explanations on your actions and reasons."

"Things will never go back to the way they were."

"Maybe not, but I at least you can have them back in your life."

"Yeah I guess."

Hailey smiled and left. She needed to let Sam think. After all the woman had just realized that she was going to have to change her whole approach when it came to dealing with her old friends. Hailey just hoped that the woman figured out that with Jack, Cassey and Teal'c it was going to be a whole new ball game, harder and much more difficult to over come.


	33. Chapter 34

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 34

"INSIGHT"

SAMANTHA CARTER:

He was Jack O'Neill, once he was my best friend and we became something more. I believed it to be respect for a commanding officer, and yet that respect and admiration began to change and I discovered that he was any thing but those things. To me he was so much more, he was my beloved, and I would do any thing for him, just as he pledged his life for me I would do the same and I dreamt that forever more we could be together.

Dreams do not often become reality, and I find myself in a place that is closer to a nightmare than any dream I ever had. This place were I am with Pete. My fiancé, my new so called love, in a farm in the middle of no were; long hair and living happily with animals, did he expect this from me. Did Fifth actually believe that he could have trapped me in a fantasy world were I left my friends and left him behind no he would be a fool to think that.

My mind refused his simulation, and I smirk. Fifth is more of a child than I had first tough, he believed that he could fool me. No he couldn't fool me into believing that I married, Pete more than I could fool myself into thinking I was going to go trough with it, I always known that I would give us a chance, me and Jack, we deserved it we deserved to be together now I am sure of this.

He has come for me, and as we went back home I found myself wondering just what the hell happened in that place.

Fifth had me, yet how could Fifth replicate that place but get the one constant so wrong? Was that I was falling in love with another man? With Pete? No it couldn't be. I enjoy his company and having some one to be with, I enjoy the sex and the fact that I have someone, but what had fooled fifth I don't know and it scares me.

Could I actually have feelings for Pete? Am I using him? What is it that I am doing? Why can't I answer this question, and why is it so hard to think of Pete as perhaps something more. To see Jack hurt, do I know what I am doing? Have I become so screwed up that I no longer see what I want? I do not know what is happening to me, and I cannot say I dislike it, but between those questions lies and answer that I can't seem to see or understand.

Pete is here with me, he loves me and I don't want to use him but if my plan was always to be with Jack then why am I with him, and why do I find myself liking his company more and more? Do I feel guilty for using him as a release for my sexual and emotional repression? And what of Jack, does he love me? Does be even know how I feel for him? If I have a chance with Pete, shouldn't I take it? Don't I deserve to be happy?

The more I think about this the more questions that arise, more question that I have no answers for, and the more confuse I grow. I don't know what is happening to me, but I will find out, I just hope that I don't find out to late to do any thing about it.

JACK ONEILL:

Do I mean so little to her? Should I be angry? No, how can I be angry when it is I who refused to do any thing about her situation. She is dating Pete, she is going to marry him soon and yet I did nothing was I right in just standing idly by ? Should I have interfered in she become his? Each time I think of her why are so many questions popping up all over the place questions to which I have no answer for.

Do I love her? yes I do, I know that much yet does she love me? If she did would, she be with him? Was I a fool ? Why do I keep questioning this ? I don't know and yet I feel that I am justified in not acting. Jf two people are in love than that means that they wait for one another, that sacrifices have to be made for the sake of that love, isn't that right ? Why do I doubt that now ? Is it because I never know what love is?

What is wrong with me? I don't know, but questions pop all over the place and I grow frustrated and angry. Showing me the ring, what the hell did she want me to do ? Did she actually believe I was going to say something? Should I have said something? In addition, if so what could I offered her? Nothing so why not let her go? I love her and as much as I hate clichés I have to wonder if the old saying is, right in saying if you love them let them go

I am not sure she even loved me. How can I know what she feels for me is mere friendship, has she showed any indications of how she feels for me? There have been moments but are moments enough? If she has not showed any indications does that mean that she is a better actor than I am? My disregard for the rules allows me to be somewhat more open with how I feel yet for her. In addition, if I had showed indications of how I felt shouldn't she know of this?

If she knew of my feeling why then go with Pete, why then become his fiancé and why leave me behind? Was she being selfish? Does she love him? She told me so yet do I believe it and just not question her choices? I don't know and now it is to late, so all I have is a memory that I won't soon forget. I wish it weren't so but she is every thing to me and now that I do not have her in my life I feel empty.

SAMANTHA CARTER:

It hurt to have left him. I did the right choice, I try convincing myself and I find myself believing that I was going to have a child with Pete with the man whom I had accepted as a substitute for Jack. I didn't know I just knew that he made me happy, satisfied my needs and gave me what I so desperately needed he was there for me and gave me my dream house a son and the white picket fences I had always wanted, I had a family.

It was everything I ever wanted and yet it never felt right. Pete, Aron they are wonderful and I love them. I love them as a wife loves a husband and as a mother loves a son but is that enough? Shouldn't I be happy with the life that I live now? Shouldn't I be head over heals for this life? I had dreamt of it for so long I should not be over thinking this. No, I should be enjoying it and I find myself un-able to why is that.

So I feel guilty that I cut out my friends and family. I don't know any more, all I know is that I find myself missing them more and more. Each day I find myself wondering of what ifs, and every day that goes by I find myself wondering more and more. I find my hearth aching at the loss of such good people in my life. And yet as I think about them am I really thinking of him? Of the what if with him? Had I let go of him as I had thought I had or was I fooling myself?

I was overwhelmed by the thought of a happy family that I jumped into bed with Pete that I accepted his proposal and that I had a son with him .I was pregnant with Aron when I left. That affected my decision more than I cared to admit to myself but I was going to marry Pete any way, right ? And Aron deserved a father. It was the right choice to make yet if that was so why does my heart yearn to go back and my mind wonders of what if that can never happened now.

Why do I want to go back to them to him? I don't know, I am lost and I don't know what can clear this fog and what can answer all those question that I have. I think I am lost and the way to find myself out of this situations is to go back to them, to him.

JACK ONEILL:

Long ago I buried her, she has returned, come back and I feel numb. What is left to feel after so much pain, after such emptiness, nothing. I have nothing left, I am spent I don't care any more, I am just tired so tired that's all I can do is watch as she jumps back into our lives. What more can I do but watch?

I have nothing left.

April O'Neill & Jacob Aron Carter

They were their kids, he was smart and she was a wild card filled with hyperactive energy and definitely brains. She might not be his biological daughter but she was an O'Neill and the kid was definitely a Carter. She could see that in the way they talked and were around each other, they had become friends in a short time without a care in the world. They played in Jack's back yard and Cassandra Frasier could only look on at the two.

"You are losing!"

"No I'm not, the control doesn't work!"

"You're lying!"

The girl smiled and shook her head. This was so weird and so much more than she could take. Here was Aron, the child of the woman she hated playing with Jack's kid and as much as she wanted to resent and feel some kind of hatred for the kid she knew she couldn't. He had nothing to do with Sam's betrayal, he was not to blame yet that was not what hurt her the most, because now looking at him she could see and perhaps begin to understand why Samantha had left them.

Her actions had been wrong, she had done this all wrong but in the end, she had gain a son and something the woman always wanted, how could she hold that against Sam? She couldn't not now not any more aron was proof that Samantha had a happy life with out them. He was there to remind her that perhaps the woman did have to do this.

When the phone rang, she couldn't even begin to imagine that it would be Sam on the other line. Sam and her mother both on the same phone calling her to ask her a favor to take care of Sam's child because Jack was in trouble. She had of course been watching April already so why not watch Carter's child. A few minutes ago, she would have had many reasons to not even go near that kid and turn Sam and her mom away.

Her mother on the other hand had told her to do this or else, and she knew that while her mother could no longer punish her she had other ways to make her feel horrible, as did Jack and the others. Therefore, it was with a recent full grunt an annoyed tone of voice that she had accepted to look after the kid of her once second mother.

"Is dad coming in late again?"

April had asked with a frown and a pout. That kid could be too cute some times; she smiled and decided to turn her foul mood into a positive one. No sense in making April feel her negative vibes, so she told her with a huge smile that her little friend was coming over to play.

That had been an hour ago and now she just sat there staring at them. With out a care in the world they just played there game and laughed, they were not filled with resentment or ill emotions towards any one. A while back she was like that, but she had to close herself off or else feel the pain that Sam is leaving had caused her, she remembered what Jack had told her and she knew that he was right. She had done what he had done hid behind her anger and resentment towards Sam to hide the pain and hurt she had left behind.

How to deal with that was the questions, she didn't know and she was not good with her feelings, not when she had ignored them and allowed them to fester and become something twisted. Taking a deep breath she walks towards the kitchen and begins to prepare coffee. No sense in sitting and thinking of her wrongs and Sam's wrong. She had to find a way to not be mean to Sam to at least be civil when in her presence she could do that.

"Cassy there is some one at the door."

She was not expecting that one; they weren't supposed to be back until nine or ten at the latest. Walking towards the doorway she can see who it is trough the small window like opening in jack is door. She remembers the man as Sam is fiancé and the one who had caused all of the problems to begin with.

"April. Aron why don't you guys head up stair ok?"

"Yeah ok Il'l show Aron my room."

"Ok."

Sam is going trough a divorce was the first thing Cassy's mind, and parents going trough this tended to do crazy things, specially when a child was involved and he might only get to live with one of the parents. The other would usually do something crazy like kidnapping and such, she was not taking any chances. O'Neill had told her once to always be prepared and take no chances even in normal life.

"Yes how can I help you?"

Opening the door she saw the surprised look on the man and knew that Pete did not recognized her or remembered her.

"Ah is this general O'Neill's house?"

"Yeah."

"Ah ok I don't know if you can help me but I'm looking for Samantha Carter? Or Sam."

"She is not here had to run an errand."

"Oh do you know when she will be back?"

Jack was not here, she knew as much and she knew that in an instant he would give up this life, yet she knew that the bras wouldn't let him quit. He was too important, the Asguard liked him and wouldn't do business with out him and yet she would gladly see the whole universe in chaos if the man could just get the life he so deserved. He deserved so much and yet he never got anything from it no happiness or joy just sorrow the last happiness he had was his child.

"How is he holding up?"

"Still sleeping what ever that thing was it didn't hurt him."

"Didn't hurt him? He is laid out"

"Compared to the others, his readings are stable. You and Sam have any idea what the thing was?"

"No and frankly I'm glad that I didn't go on the mission"

"Well since you and Sam are the only ones who understand ancient tech as much as McKay and Jack, I guess they're in your hands."

"No pressure?"

"No pressure."

Hailey groaned. This was not what she was expecting, to be rushed into the infirmary and told of the predicament they were currently having. Looking at the roof of the base, she wondered were the hell was Thor when she needed him. Walking towards the lab she found Sam working hard on the device sg-2 had brought back. It was as big as a backpack and it seem to have some kind of energy readings. Ancient tech was surprisingly simple and yet confusing as hell.

"So what are we dealing here?"

"McKay's notes indicate that this was a super computer"

"Was?"

"When he detached it, it went dead the signals we are receiving are basically the reserve powers source. When it was UN plugged it downloaded every thing into the ship's main frame and stored only the most basic functions on itself."

"It's alive then?"

"AI most likely."

"Okay self preservation and all that...wait basic functions?"

"Its is apparently a decoy."

"You got to be kidding?"

McKay was good, but put up against any ancient brain or AI they were all dunces, and while the battery pack has resulted in being nothing more than a super computer with a bunch of irrelevant data. They knew that some one had to have done that to it and apparently, the AI was stored in the damned ship, leaving them with a useless piece of tech which had nothing relevant to the situation the others were in.

"Ok so if it fooled McKay that means this thing is good. Super computer or not its data has to be relevant to something."

"Culture structure of the ancients."

"Ah that's educational…."

Before she could get the words out a beam of light beamed trough and Thor stood before them, his dark eyes roaming the device as is assessing its purpose. Hailey and Carter did their best to explain what it was and he understood. He would help them and as they began to work, something else was happening in the infirmary, and Janet was not happy. The general had been knocked out and was not showing any sings of waking up and then he bolts up from the bed and looks at her,

"I gathered I was knocked out?"

"Sir what is going on?"

"McKay and his bone headed ideas that's what happened. I need to get to Hailey's lab."

"Sir?"

"I'm good to guess that Thor is with them if so I need his help."

Minutes later, they were in the lab and Jack even tough groggy and a bit wobbling on his feet managed to smile at them, and greet them with as much enthusiasm as if he was never in the infirmary to begin with. Glancing at the device in front of the scientist he smirked and shock his head.

"O'Neill are you well?"

"Yes and as for you, it's no use in hiding I know you're there."

Janet and the others glanced at him as if he was a mad, and as Janet began to worry and wonder just what the hell had happened to them, the thing that looked like a modern backpack began to flash and a small light shot out of it straight for Jack, who just stood there. Immediately the light stopped and then bursted into millions of small light beams, right before there eyes a figure stood before them,

Holographic technology, Thor recognized it but it was far more advanced than his own, as the figure appeared to be as solid as they were.

"You are brethren?"

"Close primitive ancient human"

"That would explain your recovery"

"Ah sir what is going on?"

"AI Hailey it's stored in that box you got there the data it stores. It's a simple distraction from you looking at the real deal."

"Sir how do you know?"

Sam looked at Jack who smiled and taped his head, now Sam understood. Hailey's earlier comments and Thor is explanation that was cut off by Jack. She nodded and then turned towards the figure who was smiling at them. It seemed human, had advanced quite well and by the looks of the asguard standing beside them it seemed they were doing quite well for themselves.

"My people?"

"I do apologize for them as I only detected your bio sing I was unaware they were friends"

"Right well they did have the ancient gene"

"They did not have your genetic make up, your's the closest to our own"

"Ok then my people?"

"If you returned them to the ship I will fix their neuro kinetics"

"Thor buddy would you mind checking it out?"

"I will require assistance. Hailey and SG-2 would be appreciated as would doctor Carter"

"Yeah sure...wait Carter weren't you on leave?"

"Janet called her, we needed the help sir and I can handle the mission."

He nods at Hailey who smiles nervously at him, yeah Samantha Carter had taken some time off but they needed the all the brains they could get their hands on, so she had been called back.

"Okay Hailey you go and help them with what ever. SG-2 will be ready in a few, go fill them in please"

"Yes sir"

Hailey smiled and pointed at the figure that still had its eyes set on the general. It seemed she was still analyzing him and assessing him as a worthy substitute for her creators of course she would ask the asguard more questions she was after all self aware and intelligent.

"Sir what about her? She is friendly right?"

"Ah yeah you can wait right?"

"I am an AI I follow the orders of my creators and am loyal to them"

"So you follow my orders?"

"I am intelligent O'Neill"

"Fair enough"

Yeah Jack felt real happy with that, he knew what it was like to have personnel whom disobeyed orders. He didn't want to think of having a war ship who could ultimately destroy them if she wanted to. Waving them off Thor beamed them up and he smiled. At least he wouldn't have to deal with it for another 24 hours. Janet nudge him and signaled at the blond staring at them.

Hailey smirked and shock her head; this was bound to get a bit too tense. She was glad she had to go prep SG-2. Walking away from them she definitely didn't want to be around them, not until they resolved every thing between them; she had enough drama in her life with out the need to add this to her list.

"So the kids?"

"They're with Sassie sir"

"So Carter… Cassie?"

"I had no one else to call, Janet recommended her"

Jack raised an eye brow at the doctor who smiled and shrugged. Yeah she had recommended Cassie to Sam but she had done it to help the two try and talk to one another if not for their own sake, for Jack's.

"Oh well I guess we can go pick them up"

"They're at your house"

Jack smiled and nodded, heading out of the lab Sam saw the way Janet and jack interacted even now walking side by side she saw the touches and the smiles, the look in there eyes and so much more that told her there was history there. She did not know what kind and she was not sure if she wanted to know, she cursed herself for being angry at the fact that Janet was every thing she wanted to be to him.

Stupid traffic was as slow as ever and Jack O'Neill trapped in a car with two women who had just began to repair a broken friendship, he could cut the tension with a knife. There was too much tension and he knew he was responsible for most of it. Ok so he was responsible for all of it but it was not his fault. I mean honestly, there was something wrong in the air Sam was tense Janet was tense and all he wanted to do was relax.

"So umhh what have you guys been up to"

"Oh you know the usual stuff, raising a kid and such things"

Then tension increased and he had no idea what the hell was the problem. Carter squirmed in her seat and as did Janet frowning he turned towards them he was going to get to the bottom of this.

"What is up with you two?"

"There is nothing wrong with us"

"No?"

He also knew when they were lying, and right now, they were both lying, something had definitely happened or it was a woman thing. After all he knew damn well that women sensed and had an insight to things men had no idea were even going on. Frowning he turned back to the road and let the tension fester, they could resolve their problems. He knew Janet and Sam well enough to know that much. The fact of the matter was that he could swear that the tension was caused by his presence and whatever problem the two women had some how related to him. He couldn't even begin to explain why, but if women had intuition, then men had there gut feeling and right now he was feeling that all too familiar sensation in his stomach.

"So how did Cassy take the news?"

"She was not happy./Janet helped me convince her tough"

"That kid is stubborn"

"Takes after you Jack"

Janet teased and Sam chuckled, yeah Jack was good at breaking the tension all right, he prided himself in that fact and now that the tension was some what alleviated all he needed to do was keep brining stuff up to talk about.

"Mind if I wait?"

"Yeah just don't come a knocking"

"I won't"

Pete was to wait in the car, he didn't like it but he couldn't be very well in the house of the general waiting for his wife, after all, he was not the best of friends of Jack O'Neill. He hardly knew the man, so he waited and hoped that Sam would arrive soon, he needed to talk to her, to at least make some kind of progress in their friendship. He couldn't let that go to waste, not if he wanted to keep seeing his son and maybe even make head way with her. Who knows maybe civility was a way to get her back yeah that thought had not escaped his mind he still loved her he still wanted her.

As his mind wondered Jack O'Neill's truck pulled up right behind him, he could see and heard the all too familiar voices of the man he disliked and of the woman who had been his wife still was at least until the end of the month.

"That your car Sam?"

"Ah no its not"

"Pete?"

Both Sam and Jack could hear the somewhat annoyed tone Janet had used in saying the man is name.

"Come on Jan we better go inside"

The last thing he wanted to do was be in that spot he knew things were hard enough with on Sam with out them adding to it.

"Sam you going to be okay?"

Jack was trying to lead her away but Janet stopped and glared at him, she had made some head way with Sam she was her friend despite what had happened she knew the troubles in a marriage.

"Yeah Janet thanks but ill be fine"

"And we will be right in there just in case"

Jack smiled at Sam and pulled Janet towards the house, he also had some experience with this kind of thing and as they walked towards his house Pete walked past them a small smile and nod of a greeting and that was all.

"What do you think he wants?"

"Same as all divorcees, they want there wife to reconsider"

"Oh..I- ah sorry Jack"

He had been on the same side Pete was in right now, and he knew how painful and hard it was, having a wife that no longer cared for you was the hardest thing to accept, but then again Sara and he was a completely different thing. He had been un attentive and filled with to much pain to even try to make things work even after his return from Abydos, he had tried to reconnect but she had moved out and by then it had been too late.

"You ok Jack?"

"Yeah just lost myself in thought"

"About what?"

They were in the house now and jack could hear cassy and the kids playing on the second story of his house, both of them walked towards the kitchen. Janet could see the far away look on jack placing a hand on his shoulder he smiled up at her and shock his head.

"I was in Pete's shoes before you know"

"Yeah I know"

"I guess I can relate to the man trying to save his marriage and all"

"You did it for the right reasons Jack somehow I don't think he is doing it for those same reasons"

He didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but somehow to Janet it made perfect sense and once again he wondered just what the hell had the two women talked about. Out side the house Sam smiled at Pete, and waited for him to start a conversation one that didn't involve him trying to reconcile there differences as their counselor had advised them to do for the sake of Aron.

"You were with the general"

Some how she had been expecting that he was jealous and while she had found it cute, it annoyed her to no end now more than ever.

"Janet was also with him if you noticed"

"Yeah I noticed the guys has all the luck"

"What do you want Pete?"

She was beginning to get annoyed and she didn't like the tone or the implication on Pete is voice

"I wanted to spend some time with you and Aron is that so wrong?"

"No you can spend all the time you like with Aron, Pete and you know it"

"And you?"

"What about me Pete?"

"I still love you Sam"

"Pete please don't do this. It's hard enough for me to put our son trough this to go trough this. You crossed the line"

"Sam it was a stupid mistake!"

"One that could have gotten our son, your son killed!"

"I screw up Sam every one screws up don't I get the chance to have one more shot?"

"How can I do that when you don't trust me Pete? God Pete this isn't just about the danger you put us in it's about your not trusting me"

"I trust you Sam"

"No you don't you never have trusted me and that was the problem all along I just couldn't see it"

"So it's really over"

"It been over for a while now Pete I…I thought that I wanted to come back to reconnect with my friends and family t-the truth was I was trying to go back"

"To before me right?"

"I'm sorry"

Those words are still with her as her ex-husband drives away, the words she spoke to him are still there. Had she really come back just to run away from her life with him? She didn't know where that speech came from but she knew it was what she had wanted to say for a long time ever since aron was born she had been thinking about her friends been wanting to return and she wondered had she used Pete? Had she gotten what she wanted out of him and that was it?

As harsh as those words were she knew it was the truth, she had used Pete and when he had given her what she wanted, the life and the son, the white picket fences and all that she had grown tired, and wanted to return to her old life and to calm the aching her heart. Turning towards the house, she could see trough the window Aron April Janet Cassy and Jack playing and laughing she wanted to be the one in that room with her hands around Jack's shoulders, she wanted to be with him.

Continued


	34. Chapter 35

A thank you to all those who wrote to me wanting to be my beta, you guys are pretty cool, but not all can beta, but then again, no no only two got the part so a huge thank to them cuz with out them this story would have been put on a definite hold. Therefore, a huge thank you goes out to my two new betas.

Caroline O'Neill

&

Sci-Fi Girl

THE HERE AND NOW

Chapter 35

"Hello again my friend"

That night had been uneventful for three of the individuals and yet for the fourth it had been the night that made her realize something; she had been hiding and running away, she, Samantha Carter was in love with Jack O'Neill and she had run away from him, from that truth. So numb was she that she had fooled herself into believing a truth that was based on nothing more than her fears of acting upon her feelings.

She had deluded and fooled herself into believing that Pete was her solution to find happiness and in doing so, she had believed she was in love. A relationship based on lies was doomed to fail from the start, and yet it was not all a lie, she had loved Pete and he had given her what she wanted a happy home, a loving partner and a beautiful son. She was lucky and knew she owed Pete; she was going to try to make their relationship work for her son's sake, she was going to be civil and was going to try to help him do the same.

"Ah Sam?"

"Huh? Oh sorry Hailey I was thinking of something"

"Right well you ready for the meeting?"

"Yeah I'm ready how about you?"

"Oh I'm more than ready can you believe we actually get to interact with a holographic representation of the ancients?"

"I wonder if artificial intelligence gets bored"

Both women smiled at the thought of Daniel asking the poor hologram-boring question after boring question. Heading towards the briefing room, Sam saw that SG-1 was there alongside McKay and Sheppard, they seemed to be talking to Daniel and Teal'c, while Jack was looking at the hologram image of the ship.

"Sam, Hailey we ready?"

"Yes we are"

Table full of files and techno babble filling the room was not Jack's thing, nor was it Shepard's and while the scientist did there thing; the two discussed more pressing matters, such as how the war with the wraith was going. The hologram looked with interest at the humans, they were odd, while Jack, Sheppard and Teal'c the Jaffa were discussing battle strategies, two of the women and two of the men were discussing ancient technologies and culture.

"O'Neill"

Jack turned towards her with a smiled on his face, she smiled in return and he called her name for the first time since he had given it to her.

"Oh hey Lisa"

The silences that follow was unexpected and as all heads turned towards them, an exclamation soon followed.

"Lisa?!"

The exclamation was from all around the table and Jack frowned, he was sure he had told them the new name of the ancient AI, glancing at Teal'c he noticed that he seemed to be as surprised as the others. Standing up he walked towards the hologram projection of the ship is AI and smiled

"Guess I forgot, well this is Lisa"

"Lisa? Jack"

Daniel frowned and looked at the woman who inclined her head and nodded.

"I was named after his favorite character on one of your television shows"

The hologram seems to be pleased which was a bit odd since she had never showed discomfort when they referred to it as an item.

"You gave it a name?"

McKay as always blunt and to the point, and as his statement resonated throughout the small room; Sheppard could see the slight glare the woman now named Lisa threw at his friend.

"I would be careful at what you say Rodney"

O'Neill nodded and looked at the others on the table he was going to make this clear.

"She is not a thing she is intelligent so call her by her name she likes it right?"

"I do"

"There see now back to whatever you were doing"

He had seen way too many sci-fi shows in which computers turned against humans for the very fact that they were treated differently, hell all sci-fi movies had a meaning behind them and almost all of them had a machine, computer or whatever turn evil and try to kill humanity. He was not going to get this little hologram upset and besides he liked Lisa. She was fun, the woman stood beside Jack a content smile on her face and Sam frowned whilst Hailey smirked and laughed.

"What's so funny sparkplug?"

"N-nothing sir ah just thinking about the Simpson's is all"

"Ok let get serious what do you have to report? Techno things first then cultural things"

He glanced at Daniel who seems to pout and recline back in his chair; he was always such a brat when it came to not going first. Glancing at the three scientists, he noticed they were all talking about what to go on first, glancing at Sheppard and Teal'c he smiled and rolled his eyes these guys knew what he wanted to hear.

"I believe O'Neill wishes to see the big space guns"

Teal'c smiled at his friend who returned the smiled Sheppard looked at Rodney and nodded.

"Come on Rodney what you got for us"

"Ah well the ship is...ah can be repaired with help from the Asgard"

That would make Jack happy, a full working ancient ship, not bad, glancing at the others he saw the excitement was shared amongst them all.

"Sweet weapons?"

"The AI"

"Ah ah Rodney what did the General say?"

The man was stubborn but Shepard's look told him to be civil and looking at the hologram the doctor knew why.

"Lisa has a full array of defensive and offensive weapons that match even the strongest of the Wraith ships"

"The good news is that with…. Lisa's help even us Earthly people can use it"

Hailey interrupted and glanced at the woman beside the General, giving a nod, McKay frowned and sat down Hailey was clearly going to take it from here.

"Ok, Hailey what's the time frame to finish the reconstruction of the ship?"

"Well sir with the Asgard helping and Lisa's assistance we should be able to finish it in a month or so"

"Lisa however needs to remain on the planet with the repair crew."

Sam interrupted and Hailey nodded agreeing with her, Jack looked at the woman beside him and saw the frown on her face, apparently, AI could get bored.

"You don't want to go?"

"It is complicated to guide them in technologies they do not understand"

While humans had a basic understanding of their technologies, they still had a long way to go before they could even begin to grasp how it truly worked. Operating pod launchers, defense shields and weapons was one thing, actually understanding them and building them was hard for even the Asgard.

"Hey we've done pretty well in Atlantis"

"You only have the city at a 20 working order"

"Bringing the whole city to full operational status is a massive undertaking"

It was annoying to have to discuss such matters with a stubborn man whom prided himself in not being wrong, pride was a thing Lisa had come to know as an obstacle in helping these humans. Glancing at Jack she saw the bored look on his face, muttering something in ancient Jack began to chuckle.

"Ok let's resume another time we're all getting a bit tense here"

"What did she say about me? Did she say something bad?"

"Come on Rodney we need to report in to Doctor Weir"

"She said something about me I know it"

The two men walked out and Jack chuckled, Daniel on the other hand a frown on his face Hailey turned towards him and nudged him on the side.

"What did she say?"

"That the man should be glad she is not solid"

"Ouch"

"Okay every one dismissed"

Hailey turned towards the blond sitting beside her and smiled, the woman was glaring at the hologram. Collecting his files Daniel noticed the look on Teal'c, following the Jaffa gaze he saw Samantha frowning at the way the fake woman was smiling and walking out of the room with Jack.

There was something to be said about that, but right now all Daniel saw was the frown on the Jaffa's face and he didn't like it. Acting fast he cut Teal'c off and walked along side him out of the room, he needed to talk to Teal'c and together try and figure just what was going through Sam's mind.

"Hey Sam you ok"

"Y-yeah I'm fine just"

"Jealous much?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I have eyes"

She wasn't jealous; no she was just angry, the woman, a fake woman had a better relationship with Jack than she did. Not only that, the woman has only known him two days.

In truth she had seen the act from the minute she had walked back into their lives, he was civil but that did not mean that he liked her, or was happy to socialize with her. She could see the distance he had put between them and could see just how far they truly were. He treated her nicely with respect and as if nothing had happened and it hurt because she knew that the more O'Neill acted like this the farther away he was getting, and the harder it was going to be for her to get him back.

"So your husband is okay with everything?"

"Oh yeah I guess, he is not happy with me moving out of the house"

"Yeah I kind of figured that out. How is your kid taking it?"

"He's okay, knows that he can visit whenever he wants to and that his dad is welcome any time"

"I thought he was going to take it harder aren't you worried that he didn't?"

"I told our therapist about it and he said it was fine, Aron is not your average kid"

"I bet"

They share a smiled as they leave the room, Hailey smirks as she notices that Sam takes one last glance at the office housing Lisa and the man Sam is truly in love with.

Some things never change, inside the General's office Lisa looks at the man and wonders how this human can have the ancient knowledge deep within his mind, he is a basic human, advance yes but limited in his abilities, healing is just one of many the ancient possessed, he however seem to have blocked this.

"There was hostility in the room"

"You mean McKay?"

"He disapproves of me does he not?"

"Ah he disapproves of any one he sees as inferior to him don't worry about it just try to tolerate him it's what we all do"

This Human standing before her, even though flawed was a mystery to be unravel.

It is hard to understand this new world, this new area but Lisa is smart and she could learn. Looking at Jack she knew that he was going to be one of her greatest challenges, to learn from him and try to understand him was going to be hard and a challenge she knew she would enjoy.

Three hours later and Sam was finally ready to head home, she needed to go pick up Aron and see what his day entailed. She wondered if Pete was going to be difficult and would ask her to stay for dinner or ask her to stay a while, she did not enjoy those particular days and the questions were beginning to irritate her, she needed to discuss this next time she went to therapy. Breaking out of her thoughts, she notices Jack O'Neill standing near the elevator.

"Hey carter ready to go?"

"Yes sir. You?"

"Waiting for Janet"

Like a husband waits for his wife, she did not like that but knew that after five years the relationship between Janet and Jack had become stronger, she had left them and in the wake of her absence, they had formed a bond. A bond that she could not even begin to compete with; or to understand, the two were complex and Jacks distance keeping techniques told her that it was not going to be easy to breach his defenses or that of Janet. The woman was over protective of Jack another thing she did not like.

"So what's on today's agenda sir?"

"Same as always I guess spend some time with Janet and April"

"Oh and Cassie?"

The questions seem to throw Jack for a loop, yet he smiled and took a deep breath, signs that whatever he was going to tell her was important. Jack smiled as best he could but still it was like hell, here she was after all this time and he was going to tell her that she needed to talk to Cassie and deal with the kid's pent up emotions.

"Yeah she ah …I was going to tell you this sooner but Cassie wants to talk to you if that's okay"

That had surprised her and he could see that but he also saw the old Carter, the one who would fight tooth and nail for a friend the one who's fire he liked, and for a moment he found himself lost in a feeling he had lost a long time ago.

"Tonight? Or?"

"No, no ah I guess whenever your free we can even watch Aron for you"

"…if you can watch him tonight and Cassie is free than yeah we can talk tonight"

"Ah cool I'll call her and see"

"Jack!"

Down the corridor came Janet Frasier a bag on her shoulder and dressed to kill, they couldn't possibly be going on a date could they? No, she didn't think that was possible; there was no indication of it. No looks no nothing and yet now looking at the petite woman and glancing closely at Jack she could see that he was as surprised as she was it seemed that Janet did have a date and it was not with Jack.

"Janet what is…oh don't tell me"

"You forgot didn't you?"

"Sorry, sorry I… my mind was kind of elsewhere"

"Well I'm sure Cassie can help you out"

No she couldn't and Jack frowned, one kid he could handle but two, it was a gamble and he did not know if Aron was a hyper kid that needed constant attention, glancing at Carter he smiles and Janet knows that he had brought up the subject of Cassie.

"What did you do jack"

"Well Sam is free tonight so I thought maybe she could talk to Cassie"

"And she will leave the two kids with you?"

"If he can handle them then yes"

Sam trusted Jack and knew he wouldn't hurt Aron, the thing was Janet was giving him the be a good parent look; meaning Jack was a push over and would not be strict with any child. She hadn't considered that one thing.

Janet pulling them both inside the elevator' began to tell her of Jack's bad habits and now she understood the look Janet gave Jack. He was a spoiler he would give the kids whatever they wanted and feed them junk food all night.

"That's not being fair and you know it Janet"

"Last time April ate a whole steak or need I remind you that?"

"Fine I won't give Carter's kid any stakes or junk food"

"That's a relief"

Sam smiled and took a deep breath, this was good she was finally going to be able to talk to Jack and Cassie, maybe even try to breach the gap that had formed. She smiled and took a deep breath things were looking up; glancing at Janet and her outfit, she was sure she had plans so she wouldn't be there.

She wouldn't be there for Jack to hide behind and for Cassie to lie to her; she was ready for the harsh reality and words the young woman would tell and call her; she just hoped she would be ready for Jack's reaction.

As for our petite doctors, the date was a mystery to everyone besides Janet.

Truth be told he was never good at reading women; he was as much of a fool in the matter of the heart as any other clueless guy, so when Janet Frasier had asked him out, it had floored him to the ground; the petite doctor held nothing back and even gave him a very seductive smile.

Up until this point he had thought he had imagined the smiled, yet now that she was arriving to their table wearing that dress he knew that he had imagined nothing and that she had given him that smiled.

Short elegant and tight red dress and sleeveless knee length and oh, it hung to her curves like it was molded to her body, to say that she took his breath away would be an understatement, she had blown him away. Here he was with a beautiful woman on a date, a date he knew had huge repercussions based on what he did or said, in that moment he would trade all the languages skills he had for just one basic one, the one that would allowed him to speak to women.

"Janet you look amazing"

"Thanks you doctor Jackson you look pretty good yourself"

The archeologist who smiled in return did not miss the sly smile she gave him, she was teasing him and he liked it; flirting might have not been one of his strong points, but he sure as hell knew when a woman was sending signals and Janet Frasier was definitely sending the right signals his way.

"So this was un-expected"

"I guess then again this had been a long time coming"

"It ah it had?"

"Oh yes you are very attractive doctor Jackson"

That was out of character for her but she needed to be aggressive, she knew that Daniel would never make the first move; it was not in his nature to be the aggressive one. So she had to take that role and make him see and tell him of her feelings after that, all she could do was hope.

"Okay kids what do you guys want to do?"

He was nervous. After a long and boring elevator ride with both Janet and Sam he had been given a long list of does and don't, he disliked being told what to do; specially when it involved his kid, but since Aron was staying he needed to be on his best behavior, no sense in spoiling Carter's kid. Looking at April, he knew that she was going to ask him for things he was not going to be able to give her. Junk food being on the top of the list, not to mention staying up late and things like that.

"Don't be shy, dad is pretty cool"

"Yeah big guy come on since it's your first time with just April and me you get to pick what we do"

"Yeah it'll be fun. Dad is the best when it comes to games"

Jack could see the hesitation on the kid's face, and something told him that he was not to keen on playing or doing physical activities around the house, Carter's kid was indeed a bookworm or at least a very shy kid. He couldn't have that, being a bookworm yes, shy yeah but the kid was downright apprehensive, he was looking nervous and out of place.

"Come big guy you what do you want to play?"

"Yeah Aron, dad won't get mad if we break things"

"Ah right just don't try to break them"

He could see the faint smile on Aron lips, he was getting through to the kid; Aron looked around as if thinking then glanced at Jack and smiled.

"I want to toss the ball around like we did last time, which was fun"

"All right then lets clear up the living room April you know the drill"

"Yes sir!"

April smiled and led Aron towards the smaller furniture; showing him where to move it, and telling him why it was being moved. Jack smiled and began to move the large pieces of furniture, all the while thinking about how Janet was going to kill him; when she saw that things had been moved, and he was sure some of the things were going to be broken. He smiled thinking of Janet's little temper tantrum, yet the smiled quickly turned into a frown, now that he thought about it Cassie had inherited both his and Janet's attitudes. He just hoped that Carter could deal with the kid.

"So this is you new place?"

"Yeah sorry about the mess we just move in"

It was not the whole truth, she had moved in a few weeks ago but she had not had the time to put things away. Glancing at the woman sitting on her couch she wondered how to approach this how to talk to Cassie and breach the barrier the girl had placed upon herself.

"You do know I'm only here because of Jack and my mom right?"

"Yeah I know but at least it's a start"

"A start?"

"Look I know you hate me ok"

"I don't hate you"

She did not hate the woman; not after seeing Aron, she could not. She hated the actions she had taken, and the choices she had made. She however did not hate Sam, she was angry with her yes but after Jack and Janet had talked to her she had began to think long and hard, she found that Jack's words were right; even so she could still not look at Sam and forget everything that had happened the past five years.

"You don't?"

"I don't know how to tell you, the truth is I really am not so sure anymore"

"Cassie what I did it was not wrong I did however went at it the wrong way, I should of have included you guys into my life, made an effort to be with you and with Pete"

"Then why didn't you?!"

"To tell you the truth I didn't know, not until recently and I think it was because I was scared, and I ran"

"You have no idea how much that hurt"

No, she did not while she had been away she had been building a life, making friends, and living her dream. Her thoughts did wonder towards the people she had left behind but they were just thoughts and nothing more, she never dwelled on them and even blocked them out because she did not want to think of the people she had hurt.

"I screwed up big time Cass"

"HA, you just figured this now?"

"I guess…yeah pretty stupid huh?"

"You know I never once saw him cry, Jack I mean not once did I see him shed a tear; he just blocked everything out the pain and the sorrow and for a while he was falling hard"

She didn't want to hear this but she had to, Cassie needed to vent whatever it was that was inside her; she needed to let her know everything and to get everything out in the open. She was ready for this but just hearing the word Jack and sorrow hurt her, once more, she had caused pain to the one man whom tried his best to not harm her.

"Cassie I"

"Mom snapped him out of it you know, she talked to him told him we needed him because April needed him"

"y-your mom is very smart"

"Yeah that's what Jack said, but you know what? That didn't matter to me all that mattered was that you were the cause of his pain"

"God honey I"

"I hated you so much, you hurt my father so much and so many times, I wanted you to never come back I never wanted to see you I was not going to stand by and let you hurt my family, hurt me"

Tears were now filling the girl's eyes, Sam could only look on as her own tears began to fall such pain made her look away; Cassie was hurting so much and she couldn't even get close to her, she knew if she did that Cassie would push her away. She was still not okay with her Sam knew this much, it was going to take more to fix this one night only meant one small step.

"I was hurting too, I-I walking into Jack's office, I saw the hurt and I needed to get away I knew that if I stayed I would never be able to escape him"

"I can understand that…w-when I was little and you brought me to earth all I wanted was to have a family again"

"Cassie you have to understand please understand that I still love you w-walking away from you, from all of you was the hardest things I ever had to do"

"Then why did you do it?!"

"I wanted my own family…I wanted to be a mother to be loved….hoping to be with Jack was no longer enough"

"So you left him and left behind everything that reminded you of him"

It was the truth, the girl's words made sense and she froze. She had left them all behind because of her feelings for him; because she had never stop caring, if she had stayed in contact with them then it would have been too painful so she had simply left them all behind.

"So many reasons to be told so many motivations were behind my decision that up until now I hadn't seen them, but the final decision was mine and as selfish as I might sound right now it was because I wanted to live a life of my own"

"So you wanted to live a life away from us"

"N-not from you guys but from everything, the SGC, I wanted to start new and I wanted to just walk away and never look back"

"Something went wrong in your perfect life I gathered"

"I thought I could be normal"

"None of us are normal Sam after all we been through how can we be normal?"

This was not normal; Janet was hot so why was he realizing this just now? He had no idea but he did know one thing, she wanted him not as a lover or a one-night stand but as something more. Her eyes filled with an emotion he had only seen once and that had been a long time ago.

"So were here having a wonderful time and yet you haven't told me why"

"You haven't figured it out yet?"

"I'm slow Jan you know that, I might have an idea of what you might have in mind"

"And?"

"I'm flattered and surprised I umhh...thought you liked Jack"

She knew this was coming, she frowns and Daniel tries his best to clear his throat and swallows hard. This is beyond awkward but ever since she had been shot, he knew that he felt more than friendship for the petite doctor.

"I like Jack and I was with him but you were with Sara"

"You were with Jack?"

"I was so alone Daniel and….seeing you with Sara, hurt so much"

Seeing the close relationship was hell, and Daniel knew what it was like. He had felt annoyed at the close relationship his two friends had but as Janet said, he was with Sara.

"Are we all doomed to screw up this badly?"

"I don't know but I need to know Daniel is it me or do we….god this is hard"

Emotions were blessings and cursed, they brought joy and pain, sorrow and happiness. Such powerful feelings and such weak humans minds, how human live with them was a miracle and right now he felt one miracle happening. His hand seeks hers out and slowly he leans in and their lips touch.

The kiss is all she needs to know and all Daniel can give, he surprised himself with that one and now he is just sitting there staring at her a smile on his lips. Janet blush is clearly visible and she does not care she can finally stop wondering and finally see that he has feelings for her, as the night grows old the conversation has just begun.

"GO ARON GO!"

Aron was running up the last bases, he was clear to go straight to home and score the winning run and all Jack could do was try to catch him; he wouldn't of course. The kids were laughing and he was enjoying himself as he pretended to give it his best he saw the huge smile on April's face, the huge smile on Aron and he smiled they might be a handful at times but they were the greatest joy a father could ever known.

"Come on Aron, dad's catching up to you!"

Kids never knew that a grown up could run faster than them, they always believed they could out run them and when they won they always believed it was a true victory. Yeah they were naive but he didn't care the joy on their face was enough to make him run a bit slower and push his knees a bit harder, and when Aron finally made it the laughs rang out.

"We won!"

"Yeah we did!! I never won a game before"

"That's cuz you never played with me on your team"

"Hey it was two against one you know"

"Daddy you're a grownup"

"Yeah were kids"

"Why you little"

Therefore, the tickle fight began, and when the door opened and the big Jaffa walked in, Jack's brain had an idea.

"EVERY ONE GET TEALC"

"What?"

That was all the Jaffa could say as April jumped towards him, the smile did not go un-noticed by Jack who nudged Aron and pointed him towards the big guy.

"It's all right Teal'c doesn't bite"

"Yeah come on I'm losing over here"

April was now dangling from the strong mans arm, and Jack this time did laugh looking at Aron who was way too shy, so like with his mother he decided to give him a little push oh more likely a lift. In one motion Aron was in Jack's arms and was heading straight towards Teal'c who had a surprise look on his face; all the while Aron was laughing his head off.

Three kids that's how Teal'c saw the situation, O'Neill was no better than Samantha's child or his own. While Jack did stay out of the tickle fight he did however interfere and helped the kids out, while Teal'c got one kid off Jack immediately helped Aron or April get back on the big guy.

The kids played and ate and soon they we're asleep on the couch; Teal'c glanced at Jack and smiled.

It seemed that the Jaffa was as tired as he was, two kids were a handful, even if you were Jaffa.

"They are finally resting"

"Yeah about time too"

"I heard of doctor Frasier and Doctor Jackson's date"

"Yeah the doc is finally making her move"

Teal'c was never one to beat around the bush, he went straight to the point and Jack liked that, most of the time.

"You are dealing with this quite well I see"

"She loves him Teal'c"

"So I heard and you?"

"I will be fine, I guess"

Those words meant little to Teal'c; he had seen how fine O'Neill got when he was hurt. His friend was always hurt and fate it seems would not let up on him, every time there was a positive thing in his life fate would take something away. It was unfair.

Continue


	35. Chapter 36

**ONCE AGAIN A HUGE THANK YOU GOES OUT TO MY BETAS**

Caroline O'Neill

&

Sci-Fi Girl

THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 36

"LONE HEART"

There was always a thing about Jack that she hated, it was in his nature and she didn't know why he was like that; he was distant and dismissive. That was his way of dealing with pain and emotions, to simply retreat and hide from them; she disliked that about him but could understand why he did it.

"Hey Jack how was your night?"

"Shouldn't I be asking that?"

There was a smile on his lips and a wiggle of his eyebrows, as always he was hiding behind his child like behavior; hiding behind the mask of the normal guy who had no problems and was okay with everything. She didn't want their relationship to change but she knew it was inevitable he would be hurt, and he would feel as if they could no longer be as close as they once were. He was right but she still cared for him, however making him understand that was going to be difficult, if not impossible.

"We are going to give it a try"

"Congratulations, I told you he liked you"

"Yeah you did and remember about the talk you promised me?"

"There are a lot of talks that need to be done Janet"

"And you promised me to actually talk Jack"

He had done that, now it seems he was going to have to actually go through with it.

"Yeah I did didn't I"

--------------------------------------- (SAM) --------------------------------------------------

She was confused and Hailey could see that, she was not as focused on her job nor was she talking; Sam liked to talk when she worked especially when the other person understood what she was talking about, now it seem she was nothing but serious. She wasn't talking nor was she working right, walking towards her she decides to take the offending piece away and sits beside her.

"What's wrong?"

"Something happened yesterday"

"You mean with Cassie?"

Yeah that had been a big thing, but no, she was not referring to that, she had been ready for that one. She was not ready for Aron's morning talk and change of attitude.

"It was Aron"

"Your son? Is he all right?"

"Yeah, yeah nothing like that, it's just he spent the night with Jack and April"

"Ah, I see"

Yeah she was beginning to get the picture, leaning back on her chair she smiles and raises and eyebrow, to creepy Sam thinks she looks way to much like Jack when she does that.

"He was all happy and hyper this morning, you should have seen his face"

"I gather he had a nice time with Jack and April?"

"The best according to him"

"Well what did you expect you know how the general is"

Hailey smiles and moves to her side of the lab, as she begins to work Carter turns towards her and smiles, yeah she knows how Jack is and how much he loves kids. Hailey can see that this conversation is not over but she can work and talk at the same time, Sam however seems to be in her own world perhaps remembering Aron's words.

"I never thought; Aron was delighted with him you know"

"He has that effect on kids; my niece loves the man and is always asking when he can visit"

"Aron wondered why his dad didn't like him"

Yeah that was a big one, turning towards Sam. Hailey gazed at her and took a deep breath; this was a whole new topic of conversation.

"Wow that was"

"Un-expected and threw me through a loop he looked so sad when he said it"

"Maybe he can sense your husband is apprehension when it comes to Jack"

"You mean his dislikes"

"Your words not mine"

"This is becoming another problem and I don't know what to do Aron likes Jack and Pete doesn't"

That could be a problem, Pete's stubborn behavior and distrustful ways had gotten them in a whole world of trouble, hell it had cost them there marriage; Jack added to that didn't dampen the flames either it only made them burn stronger. She knew what Pete's attitude would be towards the man, he would be threatened, Jack was a very lovable man and won kids hearts all over the place, Pete was going to see this as a competition.

His parenthood was threatened and he was not going to stand by and let that happen, she knew as much, which meant another round for Aron. He was going to be in the middle of a competition his father had created, she just hoped Jack wouldn't lose his temper when he realized what was going on, Jack didn't like it when kids were hurt or used.

"Let your therapist deal with it"

"Yeah I guess your right"

"Sure I am you'll see"

Daniel Jackson looked at the two women and smiled as he entered the lab, he needed them to check something out that was the only reason he was here, honestly.

"Hello ladies am I interrupting something?"

(Deleted two words)They both jumped and glanced at him, the smile plastered on his face was a clear indication that he had heard something, he hadn't but assumptions were made and Sam had to turn away from him.

"So I'm here to deliver this, I'm done with the writing and things now you figure out what it does"

"Daniel don't tell me the writings didn't say any thing?"

"Oh they said a lot all in clues"

That is what Hailey hated about the devices with engravings on them, they always talked about every thing else but the device itself it annoyed the hell out of her. Taking the device she noticed Daniel glance at Sam and smiles, the man hasn't change a bit he always worries about others, walking towards her work area Hailey knows its time for her to go get some coffee.

"h-hey Sam"

"Daniel hello"

"S-so umhh, how is it going?"

Weird it shouldn't be this weird talking to one another but it was, like it our not there relationship had suffered.

"So ah how's your son?"

"He is doing okay"

"Good…umhh ahh how is Pete?"

"You haven't heard?"

No the look on his face told her he had not, that is some what surprising but then again Jack was never the one to talk nor was any one of them Janet, Hailey or Cassis gossip queens nor was Jack.

"Something wrong?"

"After the incident with Jack's friends, I…I left him asked for a divorce"

"Wow t-that's ah huge I ah… wow"

"He put Aron at risk Daniel, my son is more important to me than any thing else"

That was true; they said that the strongest force on earth was the love of a mother for her child.

"So how are…I guess I should ask how you are two dealing with it"

"It's hard, but it had to be done, I just didn't… its complicated"

"Okay well. Ah this is awkward isn't it?"

She nodded and for the first time they both laughed and smiled like old times, the situation was not funny but the fact that Daniel was still at a lose for words when something surprising fell on his laps was hilarious. Turning towards her friend, she decided to do something out of character and hug him, slowly he returns the hug and she smiled.

"I missed you guys so much"

"I-its okay Sam w-we missed you too"

They had and then they had shut her out of there lives, it seem both of them had a lot to think about and many things to put behind them. The embrace ended all too soon and she smiles up at him tears in her eyes.

"I talked to Cassie"

"You did?"

"A couple of nights ago, she didn't forgive me but she, I think she understood"

"I think we all understood Sam we just didn't like the way you handled the situation"

"I know I screwed up I know"

There was always that bond that comes when you fight for your life, when you trust the other with your life; and know that he will do his best to cover you, for them it was something similar, and no matter how much they had lost, when one was hurting the other would try to make it better. Daniel, Jack, and Teal'c they were like that, so was Sam a long time ago. Daniel wrapped his arms around her and smiles maybe this was finally breaching the gap they had.

"General O'Neill "

"What is it Walter?"

"There is an incoming worm transmission from the Nox"

"Patch it through"

He the leader of the SGA, Earth and many words asked for his help and why? All because of an alien database he had in his head, he dealt with alien matters day in and day out the war was going fairly well, and for now the Atlantis team was doing a good job of keeping the sucker vampires from attacking earth. He was responsible for interstellar relationships and he didn't like it, the universe had him as a universal mediator, he was good at resolving problems, saw the simple solutions when others didn't. He liked that but now here on earth was were the big challenge was he needed to keep his promised to Janet.

Doing that was one of the hardest things he was going to do, he had to talk about his feelings and talk to Daniel; that was something he didn't want to do, sure Daniel was a civil person but telling him about his and Janet's secret little romps was something he wasn't looking forwards to doing. He had to do it though he needed to get it out in the open so no surprises were laid out later; it was for his friends so they could move on with it and start making a relationship. He hated being noble.

He disliked always being the one who took the punches and never gave them in return, no that wasn't true and he knew it, he gave as good as he got but with Janet and Daniel he couldn't do that, they were his friend and he cared for them. The other thing was Sam and her little life drama, he didn't want to even be involve but it seem fate had a funny sense of humor. April had taken a liking to Carter's kid and as such, he was going to have to deal with the woman on many occasions, which was something he didn't look forward to doing; to be truth full it hurt to dam much, he was sick of hurting but it needed to be done.

"Sir the Nox"

"Ah sorry yeah they can come well brief tomorrow at 1200 hours"

"Ah General you okay you don't seem to be all that, well here"

"Don't worry old friend I'm okay"

One smiled and he turns to leave the room, and Walter wishes that he was telling the truth. But Jack was different; he said he was okay when he was not okay, the man had too much on his shoulders and some how he didn't know if his friends were being there for him as they should be.

Something told him that they weren't.

A couple of hours later and Jack was before the man who was testing the limits of his patience, here he was trying to be the nice guy and what did Daniel do ask stupid questions, the man should know when to just shut up accept the facts and move on. Oh, no Daniel was not that kind of man, he was the stupid questions asking man, and he hated him some times.

"I said no! Damn it Daniel"

Those words were spoken with anger, this was surprising; it was clear that Jack didn't want to talk about the subject but was going to any way. His loyalty to Janet was impressive to say the least, he was doing this for her after all and that showed just how much he cared for the woman is feelings.

"I know this is uncomfortable Jack but its weird you know"

"You're telling me? Daniel come on"

"Yeah I guess but, it's just why didn't you guys"

"Oh for crying out loud what part of she loved you don't you understand"

He still had a hard time believing those words, he was nothing special and Janet had been with Jack a lot longer than with him; the fact that they had slept together was a factor he didn't even want to think about, he didn't even want to start thinking of how he measured up to Jack.

"You do care for her right?"

"That I do Danny that I do and yeah you know if you hurt her you know what will happen to you right?"

"Yeah I kind of figured that, this is weird you know, you're my best friend and Janet is important to both of us"

"Yeah she is but she loves you, and I just want her to be happy we knew what this was when we started it Daniel don't worry you were always the one she loved"

That was something Daniel was not expecting his friend to say, Jack was stubborn and would never express his emotions, now by his words and the fact that he was actually trying to talk to him told Daniel he was being truth full, he cared for Janet enough to do this. Daniel smiled and nodded this has a start. He was sure now that in the near future no surprises were going to be laid out.

"That's a frightening thought"

"Yeah to have some one actually love you scary thought"

Both smiled and continued to talk, this needed to be done for the sake of there friendship and of Daniel and Janet is relationship. In another part of town Janet looked at April and smiled, the girl was still asking for her dad and where he was, if only she could tell her the truth in it place she had to tell her about Daniel and Jack having a nice time out. They were having any thing but that and frankly, she was worried hoping that things were going to turn out just fine.

The man sure as hell had taken a long time in talking to Daniel, now it seems it was she who wished that the thought had never entered her mind; oh, she knew that it needed to be done for the sake of her relationship. But that didn't mean she had to like it, this, was the hardest thing she had to face. She cared for Jack a hell of a lot and was not sure how this was going to affect him.

"So you and Janet going out tonight?"

"Yeah the ever important first official date"

"Oh that is a big one, well have fun and behave Danny"

The man smiles and walks off, this is new territory for him but he knows it's a good territory to explore. As Jack walks towards his office he smiles and sees his favorite major rushing towards him; the girl has a habit of running around all over the place. She smiled that all too familiar smile and he knows it is not something good, there is always something strange going on when she smiles at him that way.

"Ah sir I need your for a minute"

"You do?"

"Yes Sir, SG5 bought back an Ancient device but no one with the Gene Therapy can work it."

"Why not?"

"According to ah Lisa, only someone who is closely related to them can operate such devices."

He had heard the same crap from almost every one, it had become apparent that the Gene Therapy only worked for so long, now it seemed he had become the base's on switch, but as always he just smiles and makes her lead the way. The hyperactive girl is overly excited as always, he wonders what the device will do. he hates to admit it but he does like to tinker with the smart people's toys.

Reaching the lab he notices there is not carter in sight and smiles, this was good he didn't have to deal with her this time, it was getting tiresome.

"So this is the thing?"

"Yes sir just touch it, and it should work, and don't worry it's not a bomb"

"Sweet, well okay here goes"

His hand touched the round sphere and next thing he knew he was flying against the wall at a very high speed, slamming against it he can defiantly feel some bone breaking, cursing he glares at the girl who is currently trying to figure out what happened.

"S-sir you ok?"

"What do you think?"

"Right sorry"

Rushing towards the phone, she screams medical emergency, that is all it takes, within second the medical response unit, and its small army is beside him tending and trying to figure out what to do with him, Hailey smiles apologetically to him and shrugs.

"I'm sorry sir, it seem the sphere began to generate a"

"Its all right explain later, now I'm going to pass out"

In her new apartment, Samantha Carter looked at it and smiled, this was to be her new home, she and her son would live here from now on, and the promise of a new life was always a good way to finish a day. Looking at Aron a smiled spread over her face and sits down beside him, sure, the house is filled with unopened boxes and it's still somewhat of a clutter, but its home.

"So what's up sport?"

"I'm okay mom stop worrying"

"I'm not worried; I just wanted to know how your day was?"

"It was okay, April wanted to help us"

She knew a silent question when she got one, she had gotten enough of those from her commanding officer, and it would be good to have some one distract Aron while she cleaned up, yet she didn't know if April was speaking for herself or if the kid had some plans of her own. April was one smart cookie she had learned that after the whole haven thing with Aron, looking at her son she cursed herself and smiles.

"Yeah okay she is going to have to clear it with her dad though"

"Sweet!"

His word came out of his mouth, jack O'Neill is favorite word just came out of her son, and it send a wave of confusion over her, Aron was taking to O'Neill like gum sticks to hair. Pete was not going to like this at all, she know how defensive he was of her, how defensive he was of Aron.

"Jack says it"

She knew that much and if Pete were to ask him about it Aron was going to give him the same response, not good, her ex-husband had a bad habit of losing his temper at the mere mention of Jack is name.

"Better not mention him around your dad ok sweetie"

"Why not?"

"Ah well your dad might get jealous of Jack"

"Oh ok"

The kid was good and knew when the subject was close, even as a child he wondered just what was it about April's dad that made his dad lose his temper so easily.

In Jack's house, Janet Frasier groaned when she saw Daniel walk in with a very angry Jack, apparently the man had gotten himself injured.

"Dad?! What happened?"

"Nothing kid just flew straight into a wall"

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah its sore is all"

Janet looked at him and he knew he was going to get an inspection from her, he dislike that Janet was a creature of habit, if she had not checked the patient herself she was not happy. Pointing at the couch, he follows the order and sat down, April rushing to his side as always.

"Don't worry dad Janet will make it all better!"

"Oh? Ok then doc work you magic"

"So what happened?"

Daniel smiled and looked at Jack who nodded; he was too tired to explain it any way.

"Well I was called to the infirmary to get a very grumpy Jack; according to one of the nurses he just cracked his ribs"

"Yeah I can see that, I think the bandages are fine and don't worry April he is going to be fine"

April smiled and nodded cuddling next to jack she began to tell him about her day, Janet motioned for jack that she and Daniel were leaving and he waved them off, he remember that tonight was there first official first date. Such things didn't need to be postponed or interrupted.

"DADDY are you paying attention?"

"Sure I am I just waved good bye to Daniel and Janet"

"So it's okay?"

"Ah can you repeat that, what's ok?"

"Daddy!!"

"Sorrrrrry!!"

"I asked you if it was okay for me to go to Aron is new house and help him un-pack his stuff!"

Carter was still on down time, so yeah that meant that they were going to have to go to her apartment, not good he didn't want to face her or Pete right now, divorce was not a good thing, as he had experience before it was a bitch to have to trough it. Some how he knew that if he were to show up then it would only cause more problems for Sam, glancing at April he smiled and comes up with a plan.

"Tell you what, why don't you invite Uncle Teal'c?"

"Oh yeah that way Aron can get to know him better"

"Yeah!"

That was a dangerous game, if Cassie had been hard to talk to then Teal'c was going to be dam near impossible to break, oh he knew of the jaffa is grudge against Sam. The thing was while Teal'c was an honorable guy he was a big softy; he was hurting. Sam was like a sister to him she was the woman who had taught the jaffa all about the strength the female gender had. Teal'c had felt her betrayal to no end, even though he never showed many emotions about it Jack O'Neill knew how much it had really hurt.

The number one rule Teal'c had taken to heart was his own, never leave some one behind or next time it could be you. The thing was the sentiment was a good one and even though he tried his hardest to follow through , he knew that some times it did not always worked out like that. Yet that was in the battlefield, Sam had done it out side of it, she had left them while not in a battle, had betrayed the trust they had shared, for her to not even say good-bye to Teal'c was painful, and had hurt the jaffa through to the bone.

He just hoped that by doing this Teal'c would open up and at least talk to Sam and she would in turn talk to him, yeah there was a lot of talking that needed to be done, he just hoped his time never came.

Continued…


	36. Chapter 37

_**THE HERE AND NOW**_

_CHAPTER 37_

"_TEAL'C"_

He wasn't given an order, nor was he given a choice in the matter. He always knew his friend was a great warrior and that he was a very good strategist, he knew this and yet he had never once seen this coming. Right before him stood a very exited little girl smiling up at him, she had come to him with a simple request really but one he would gladly not take, oh sure he was a fierce warrior and would take on any mission given to him despite how dangerous it might be, but this, this was a whole new ball game. You see April O'Neill had asked him to accompany her to her friends house, he was to help her and her friend is family to unpack there things, not and odd request, but the when the family consisted of one Aaron Shanahan and Samantha Carter things tended to be a lot more complicated.

He had not seem the Samantha ever since there little encounter were they had to save her son and idiot of a mate from being killed by one of O'Neill is old friends, back then every thing had been simple, one objective and no need to get into personal, but this request smelled of a set up. It was an encounter between himself and Samantha, one were they would most likely have an in-depth conversation about what had happened and so on, one conversation he did not wish to have.

"Pleaseeeeeee!"

"I do not think"

"Pleaseeeeee!"

If the father was good the daughter was better, Jack had a legendary stubborn streak, one that he had passed to his young daughter; April smiled when she saw the big jaffa began to cave in, t'ealc took a deep breath and shock his head, there was no way he could refused her and even if he did then O'Neill would most likely think of something else to get him close to Samantha, better to do this right now than to keep avoiding the inevitable.

"Why are you so insistent?"

"Cuz"

Unfortunately he knew that this was all the explanation a child would give, and that to them it was a good one. He how ever still had other duties to attend to one was finding O'Neill and confronting him about this little plan he had worked out. Arriving at his office he saw Bratac and frowned, the man was good. Bratac is presence only indicated that O'Neill was ready for any thing hence why he had brought back up.

"So you have found out what young O'Neill wished of you"

If he didn't know better he could swear that his old teacher was in on it and was actually enjoying this development. He how ever couldn't focus on this, he was here to speak to O'Neill, the man had some explaining to do and he was going to get a reason for this little incident.

"Why did you tell her to ask me?"

"Cuz I think you and Carter need to work things out"

He knew he was being a hypocrite, jeez he wanted to punch himself but he also knew that this had to be done, he couldn't have a fractured base, nor could he have his best people not Seeing Eye to eye.

"What of you O'Neill?"

He knew this was coming and as such he was ready for it, perhaps not as ready as he wanted to be but he could deal, he had been trough worse, he knew t'ealc was going to bring him and perhaps his feelings towards Carter into this so he had prepared himself for the worst.

"I need to do so as well just not at this time"

Bratac could see that this conversation would get out of hand if he did not intervene, O'Neill was clearly uncomfortable with t'ealc is worlds and t'ealc was going to use that to try and win this argument.

"T'ealc, what ever reason he has for not speaking to her he will deal with them on his own; it is you who now must face this"

"I will for I do not run away from a challenge"

Bratac frowned and shock his head, that had stung and he knew it, his old friend had done this so that jack would feel ashamed of his action and if the silence in the room was any indication it had worked, talking his leave the once first prime leaves them and the old warrior looks at the tauri with sympathy in his eyes.

"I think he was trying to encourage you"

Jack smiled, tealc had a definite way of encouraging you and at the same time making you feel like a rat, he knew he needed to deal with his feelings hell probably half the base knew it. The thing was denial worked for him, it didn't have to unsettling consequences that he knew talking would bring, but most of all the thing he didn't like was the fact that he was scared. Sam was always bad for him, she made him feel and bring out emotions that he believed were buried, she made him want to be better made him want to be better, even now after all the time she had been away he couldn't help but feel that way again.

All that time had not changed how she made him feel, how she affected him and he hated himself for being so weak, for giving in when he knew he shouldn't, he had made peace with her leaving them a long time ago and now it seem that every thing had been brought back, all the pain and chaos her departure had left were back full force.

"Funny way of showing it"

"True but you are running are you not"?

Jack smiled, the old guy could read a person like a book, and he had been too tired to just fake happy or annoyed, truth was he was tired of it. He was tired of dealing with ever thing since her return; the woman was always trouble he had figured that out since he had met her.

"It's complicated"

Bratac scoffed and shock his head.

"Most things in life are O'Neill"

"I know buddy but some I just don't know if I can deal with right now"

Bratac frowned, if there was one thing he hated to see in a warrior was doubt, doubt was the reason warriors hesitated and died, it was because of doubt that many didn't raised up in arms and fought against the so call god. Yet in all the time he had known this man he had never once showed any thing but confidence, he never doubted his decision or if he did he hid them well and followed trough on what needed to be done. He was not a normal human bratac could see this and now he seem defeated and broken, as if his spirit had been hurt one to many time.

"Your emotions will be you down fall O'Neill"

"Huh? Were did that come from?"

"If you love this one then why not tell her, embrace what you're feeling tell her"

Jack smiled and shock his head, bratac was confused he knew he was not mistaken yet O'Neill is gestures seem to indicate that he was wrong. Jack on the other hand was a little taken back by the man is words, he knew that what he had felt for carter but to have it spoken right out In the open like that made him realized that maybe he wasn't as good at keeping his feelings hidden as he thought he was. But that had been a long time ago, this was different, he felt nothing for carter not any more.

She had made her choices and just as she had to live with them he had to do also, he couldn't just go back to the way things were despite his desire to do so, he wanted it so badly and yet he knew that there time had long since ended and that is why he felt how he did, why his emotions had taken such a drastic change in the time Samantha was away. Maybe it was his way of dealing with her loss or some thing like that but it is how he had coped with her leaving.

"Is this not the case?"

"No, no you're right, the thing is…I don't think I love her"

It wasn't love, but he was afraid to say what he felt, no man likes to talk about emotions specially jack but some how he knew that he had to get this in the open.

"Oh?"

Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he didn't ever want to admit this to any one but he had to or else that feeling was going to do just was bratact had told him it would, it would break him and it would indeed be his down fall. He couldn't pretend for ever, nor could he keep the act indefinitely, sooner or later he was going to have to deal with it, might as well be right now, hell maybe the old guy had some advice for him. Taking a deep breath he looks away and lets out a small anguish laugh.

"I think I hate her"

--(Sam & T'ealc)--

Sam looked at the jaffa and smiled, she wasn't sure how to react, or if Aaron even knew the man, but as soon as her son rushed out to greet Mr. Tealc and April it was clear that he had indeed meet tealc and found him the least bit scary, something most children saw in him.

"So ah come on in"

Sam gestured for the two to get inside and was surprised when her son rushed past her grabbed a hold of April and ran off.

"Yeah ill show you my room!"

Just like that he was left with her and she with him, taking a deep breath she turn to him and smiled, this was awkward and it shouldn't be like that. There was a time when they could talk about any thing, when she shared her pain and loss with him, if there were ever a true friend t'ealc would be the perfect one but that had been in the past that had been a different carter just as he had been a different t'ealc. This carter had made a mistake and she had to redeem herself she had to start over and this t'ealc was a distant and cold one.

"You needed assistance?"

She smiled and pointed all around her, while it was true that she needed some one to move the heavier stuff, she was pretty much done.

"O'Neill should be here"

Sam cringe at the way he spoke, it seem jack had pulled another fast one, which brought on the question, was he avoiding her? Every thing seem to be fine between them, ever since her return he was the one who didn't out right avoid her, hell he had been the one to open up the doors for her return. It made no sense, if Jack was the one who was originally coming then why back out now? An S.G.A emergency perhaps?

"Look t'ealc if you don't want to"

The man seem to contemplate something before turning towards her, he fixed her with one of his raised eye brows and took a deep breath, he had heard what she had said on the car when they had been following the N.I.D is goons, still this an easy situation did not make.

"It is difficult to understand why you chose to do thing the way you did"

"I'm having a hard time understanding that myself"

That seem to surprise the jaffa and she smiled, the thing was it was the truth, ever since her conversation with Hailey things didn't seem to be that simple any more. She wondered about the why and the what ifs, but mostly she wondered about the way she had done things, had she really been that unsure of herself, sure give her a naquada reactor and she would know what to do then, give her any mission and she could pretty much pull it off, but give her a personal life and she screwed it all up.

"I honestly don't know what to say tealc, I screwed up, I don't know why but I always been a screw up when it came to my personal life"

Tealc frowned, this wasn't what he was hoping for, and the thing was that while he had felt the pain of being betrayed he had to a certain point understood the need to branch out on your own. He after all was the ultimate betrayer. Still her actions spoke in volumes she had left them because of her desire to start a new, to begin a family with her husband to be happy and in that he could understand her perfectly, but in her actions of leaving them all behind and not telling them were she was; that was were the problem was.

"I do not know what to say either"

For the first time in his warrior life he had no words, he looked at the woman in front of him and saw only a shell of the proud warrior and scientist he had once meet.

"You know this is going better than I thought it would"

T'ealc nodded, he had expected to be confronted with reasons and excuses instead he found a woman whom is hurt he could almost touch and whose regret at her actions were eating her up inside, she was once a friend an allied and so he took a deep breath and walked over to her.

"I believe that we have much to talk about"

Sam smiled and nodded, t'ealc seem to be given her a second chance, no reprimands and no judgment only a talk and an understanding ear that would listened to her, she smiled and wondered if he had talked to Janet before coming to here.

--(Janet & Daniel)--

Janet looked at Daniel with a frown, there was always something with that man, he always seem to have his mind either on some book or on some problem, the thing with Daniel was that she couldn't help but like that about him.

"So she isn't dealing as well?"

"I think she is still having some trouble with what she did, or understanding why she had to leave us behind"

"Some how Daniel I don't think that was all her"

Daniel frowned, Sam was a smart person but her particular taste in men was not that good; neither was her track record with the men she chose. Pete was only an example in a long line of men in Sam is life, men who were wrong for her.

"Well I think it was her desire that was clouding her judgment, but then I guess she was just tired of it all"

She nodded and looked at the archeologist, they all understood the desire to just leave this life behind and just have a normal life and be like very one else, to just worry about the bills and taxes. A happy family was a desire that neither of them could turn away from, not if they had there chance at one, that much they couldn't blame on her, if they had that chance neither knew if they could turn it down.

"Do you think that now given the circumstances we would have to make a similar choice?"

"I don't know, but even If I cut out the sgc out of my life I know that I would never cut my friend off"

Janet nodded; it was true, the thing with Sam was the fact that she had let things get from bad to worse. She had cut all ties with them, as to the why that still was something they didn't know.

"You know I don't think she even knows why she did it"

Daniel smiled, that couldn't be more true, Sam seem to be off some how, as if she herself was just realizing what she did and how much she hurt them by doing what she did. Janet how ever was deep in thought but hers with one silver haired man, out of all the people that Sam had come across he was the one she worried the most for, jack O'Neill might know how to hide from the others but not from her.

"Jan?"

"Sorry Daniel just thinking"

Daniel smiled, here they were the so very important second date and they were talking about there friend, turning away from that topic, he smiles at her and reached for her hand, she raises and eye brow and smiles.

"You know why don't we forget about that for a while and let's focus on us"

"Why Doctor Jackson I never knew you could be so forward"

"You'll be surprise how forward I can be, especially if I have the right incentive"

She smiled and leaned towards him, a soft peck on the check and he smiled, things were turning out better than he or she had hoped they would.

--(JACK)--

Jack looked at his clock for what could possibly the hundredth time and frowned, the meeting had been extended for what seem like hours, in truth he was glad that he could play catch up with the Atlantis expedition he just wished that it would last this long.

"Lisa had reported that the Z.P.M we have has half of its power left"

"Yes I know, hence why were pushing production on a new one"

O'Neill hated this part, he knew very well how to built the deam things, the materials required for them was a whole different matter, not only were they almost non existent now but to actually fuse them into one that actually worked, well that was one hell of a complex thing to do. Doctor weird noticed the look on O'Neill and frowned, she knows the kind of pressure they were on but she could tell that there was something else bothering him.

"That all well and good general; but that z.p.m"

The room froze when Rodney McKay is words left his mouth, every one in the table knew that if there was one thing you did not do was piss off a man who had enough on his plate.

"Will last until we have enough resources to built another"

"General I don't think you see the"

"No McKay, I do I see better than any of you do, all thanks to those deam light bulbs is storage in my head. I see that you are in deep shit hell I even know how important the city is, what you fail to comprehend McKay is that asking for things is relatively easy than getting them"

Standing up he dismissed them and walks to his office, McKay always did have a way of getting to one is nerves but the conversation he and bratac had, had done nothing but make him feel more on edge, he saw Elizabeth coming into his office and frowned, he knew the woman was good but some times he wished he didn't have to deal with her.

"If you're here to tell me I was out of line"

"No I think you took care of my problem for me"

She smiles and sits down in front of his desk, over the past years she had seen the man and not the general and despite living light years away they had developed this weird and some times awkward friendship.

"You know I wasn't kidding, getting the material is deam hard"

"So I heard. Lisa is trying to come up with a new version of the things, less effective but with materials that can be found now days. As much as that helps us we still have a long ways to go"

"The asguard volunteered to send some one who could help you guys out with the city is defenses"

Elizabeth nodded, the ship they had sent was pretty powerful all right, kept those second rate vampires from attempting there little attacks, still more ships came each month and the valkir was weakening.

"It's really appreciated but to be honest general I don't know how much we have left in us"

Jack raised an eye brow, that sounded too much like quitter talk, he dislike that kind of talk especially from the woman who was keeping the front lines safe.

"I go in there myself if I have to Elizabeth"

She looked at the general who had the most determined expression she ad ever seen on him, this was the jack O'Neill she knew and the one who keeps them all going.

"If things get dice and you need any thing ill be there in heart beat"

She smiled for the first time in week and nodded, some how with him saying that she felt safer already.

"Thanks jack we really appreciate it"

"Oh and if I can't be or service I have a surprise for you"

He opened a box and Elizabeth smiled.

"The asguard think is time I let the others know who we are"

--(SAM & T'EALC)--

Sam looked at the apartment with a smile, every thing was finally done, the furniture was finally were it was supposed to be the boxes were all in the trash bin and every thing was set up. Yeah this was her home all right, she smiled at tealc who vowed and smiled.

"So coffee?"

"I believe O'Neill would want us to get home early, it is a school day tomorrow"

Sam looked at the clock and nodded, it was late, but the time had seem to just flow by, she had told t'ealc of her life and in return he had told her of his own and of how things had change at the sga. Much to her surprise things hadn't really been all that different, the fight was still there only this time it was with a different kind of aliens, same old stuff only this time they seem to have not needed her skills. She wanted to feel proud that she had thought Hailey so well and that McKay was doing all right but all she could think of was of how they didn't need her anymore.

She was once the go to person, the one who solved the problem and came up with the ideas, but it seem that that role had died down, the generals is third download of the ancient is database along side McKay and Hailey brains well they were a formidable foe. She was once the super brain it seems that with her gone she had let other people shine. Or more precisely the government had paid more attention to the other brains at the base, she was the best but McKay and Hailey were no push over and with the general they had pretty much out classed her.

"Something wrong?"

"No I …I feel left out, I can't find my place any more tealc"

"I see"

"Hailey replace me no problem, McKay is doing a bang up job and jack…jack has the whole deam repository of the ancients on his brain"

"You are right you are not needed, so why did they offer you a position at the sga?"

Sam looked at him and frowned, why the hell was he telling her this, didn't he…she stopped dead on her tracks and looked at him straight in the eyes, something was wrong.

"Why would they need me back at the sga tealc?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, it was time to tell her why she was playing catch up with them, why she was recommissioned and given a second chance, Hammond was a good man but he also follow orders and these orders came from the president himself, opening his eyes he stared at her with an intensity that made her gasp.

"O'Neill and I will be going on a mission of great importance, yet the out come is not yet certain, that is why you are needed, in case something goes wrong all of you will be needed"

Sam gasped, that is why she was offered to return, that is why she was here, that is why when Hammond had called he had asked if she would be interested. At the time she never guessed why they had offered her a position back but now it all made sense, they wouldn't just come out of the blue and offered her a job again, but if the situation was to dire was desperate then they would give her another chance.

"What about the base tealc?"

"General Hammons is schedule to command while O'Neill and I are on our mission if we were to not return, general hank Landry would be appointed"

Sam just stared at him, she couldn't believe what she had been told, a few minutes ago the greatest worry on her mind was how to fit in back into there life and now here he was telling her that he and general O'Neill might be going on a suicide mission.

"What about his daughter?"

The jaffa looked at the room were the kids were playing and frowned, he remembered O'Neill is cursing and had even told the president off, yet he had seen the dire situation the Atlantis team was facing and the long run the war was having on the universe. His actions on that day proved to t'ealc that he had chosen to place his trust on the right man and that the man was indeed destined for great things.

"Daniel Jackson and Janet Fraiser are to take care of young April, all though we all hope that this mission will be a success"

Sam nodded, but her mind was a couple of million light years away, She just realized that the man whom she had always felt connected with could possibly die, she had hoped to have all the time in the world, he was a general and no longer went on field missions, but now it seem that fate was cheating her, she wanted time to explore what she felt to try and reconnect and she was being denied that luxury.

It wasn't fair to have to deal with all of this and yet not be able to do any thing about it; she knew that if she spoke up now every thing would just go downwards, she knew how jack operated. She knew that getting back on even friendly terms was going to be hard, jack O'Neill did not easily forget, oh sure he might treat her just as he always had but she could that that it was just how he dealt with things, and that despite his friendly behavior she still had a long ways to go before being called his friend again.

"You are concern?"

She nodded and looked at him, how could he think other wise, but then she remembered why and frowned.

"Despite the fact that I left you all behind…I never stopped worrying about you guys, I never stopped caring"

T'ealc raised and eye brow and pierced her with a stare that made her want to go hide and never come out.

"You still care for him"

It wasn't a question but a statement, she smiled and looked away, she couldn't admit to it yet she knew that he had already figured it out.

"I care for all of you t'ealc"

The jaffa looked troubled but nodded in acceptance, this situation was not easy on any of them, here he was with the woman that had betrayed him and his friend and yet, he was once again talking civil to her, he smiled and shock his head, the bond of friendship were strong and as O'Neill had once told him. Ties that bind are not easily un done.

"It is good to have you back Samantha"

She looked up in surprise, he had never used her name but now it seem only right, she smiled and gave him a Hugh.

"Thanks….thanks for giving me a chance"

She smiled and closer her eyes, a chance was all she needed, a chance was all it took after all she was Samantha freaking carter, the woman who blew up a sun.

Continued

Small note: To hell with betas, that's right I said it! If I am ever going to get this finished I am going to go at it solo! So if you want to complain about the spelling grammar and so on do it, be aware that I have done my best to find and contact betas and they have all disappeared on me so I WALK ALONE! I have other stories that are have yet to continue for the same exact reason and while I know that being a beta is hard work and that my spelling and grammar sucks and that it takes a while for them to finish yes it takes a while maybe a month or so but TWO FREAKING MONTHS?! The hell with that.

So if you continue to read this then do so and be aware that the fic will no longer be beta, that I will do it all on my own and that it will be finished because now I can post when I am done with a chapter and don't have to wait for the chapter or be let down time and time again. So enjoy or if not don't but this will be FINISHED I SWEAR!

ARCHANGEWOMAN


	37. Chapter 38

THE HERE AND NOW

THE HERE AND NOW

Chapter 38

"INTERVENTION"

Daniel Jackson was always a pain and that jack O'Neill knew all to well, but despite knowing this, the man had come quite close to him in the past years and as such had a right to be a pain; only this time he went beyond being a paint and jump to being right down insane. It seem that the archeologist/linguist had a little talk with the resident jaffa and was convince that now would be the right time to get every one together and finally had an all out discussion with Samantha carter another one of jack is little pains. Jack of course knew that tealc had had something to do with this little meeting but after what he had done to the jaffa he had no right to be out raged.

What bothered jack was the fact that he had found out about this little meeting from Hailey. it seem that his so call family were planning to spring this on him; so jack did the only thing he could do and demoted them from being his family to just plain friends, friends he could handle family he couldn't and right now he needed to handle his friends. Hailey had blurted out the little meeting or reunion by accident, it seem that the little sparkplug didn't know that it was being kept a secret hence why she had asked him about it.

"Your not angry are you sir?"

Jack smiled and shock his head no, he was not angry he was furious, of all the stupid things that his friends could do they tried to pulled something like this with him, it was right down insane. They should know him better and how quickly he lost his patience or for that matter how delicate, the subject of "her" was to his ears. Closing his eyes he takes in deep breaths, the woman sitting right in front of him just tries to remain calm and tell herself that she had nothing to worry about after all she didn't do any thing wrong.

"I'm not angry Hailey, just a bit upset is all"

The young woman looked at the throbbing vein in his head and smiled nervously, if this was him not being mad she would hate to see him lose his temper.

"Ah sir can you please not tell them I told you?"

"Don't worry captain I won't, but as for now if you could excuse me I have a little archeologist I have to strangle"

The captain smiled and looked on as the general exited his office just as Walter walked in with a stack of files, he looked at her and raised an eyebrow, she smiles in return and shakes her head.

"Don't ask"

Walter nodded and proceeded to drop the files on the general is desk, the mood the young captain was in told him that what ever had happened had upset the general a great deal and when he was in one of his moods it was better to avoid him all together. Hailey for the most part was just wondering what the hell had gotten into her friends, sure she knew that the general and Sam needed to talk but to go about it like this, well that was just down right wrong. The general was like a father to her and she didn't like to see him get set up. When she had first gotten to the sgc and had been given the position with sg-1 many of the other officers were not only rude to her but did every thing they could to show her just how much of an outsider she really was.

Those first years were the hardest she had to face and even though sgc-1 had welcomed her with open arms and always looked out for her there was only so much that they could do. they were not there every moment to stick up for her and when that happened she was always reminded that she was nothing but a troublesome kid, hell she hated it to admit it but if it wasn't for the general she would have quit a long time ago. He had taken it upon himself to cheer her up when she was down and was always there for her if she needed some one to talk too. Hailey knew that he felt guilty for bringing her in so young hence why he took it as his personal mission to see that she was all right every chance he got.

So it was no wonder that they had formed a very close relationship. As a young kid she never really had much of a family structure hence why she was shipped to military school as soon as possible; her real father was a first grade asshole who just always saw her as the thing that ruined his life. Oh, she was well aware that she was an unwanted child, and knew that both her parents saw her as trouble and a waste of money. So when Sam had taken an interest in her she had found out what it was like to be around nice decent folk and when she had meet the general she had found out what a true father could be like.

"Hey, why the rush?"

She was so deep in thought that she hadn't spotted the recently transferred col. Mitchell, the guy was supposed to be some kind of hero or something, but as far as she could tell he had done nothing extraordinary. Every pilot on that mission had risked his or her life for the sake of protecting sg-1 so she had no real respect for a guy who had been shut down for doing his job in an air fight.

"Things to do people to see"

Mitchell looked at her and realized who she was; the young captain had the record for being the youngest officer ever given a field duty and not just any field duty but one with the flag team.

"You're Hailey, captain of sg-1 right"

"That would be me"

She hated to be rude to the man but she had heard that he had a bad habit of always wearing out his welcome, and that he was to hyper for his own good, or that he got exited by the slightest things. Now that he was standing in front of the man, she could see why he had gotten that reputation. He had seen her rushing out of the general is office and yet here he was blocking her way smiling like a kid who just found his lost puppy, it was disturbing and she was beginning to see why he had gotten his reputation.

"I'm sorry to bother you like this but do you know were General O'Neill is?"

"No"

She made a side step and tried to move on but he sidestepped right along side her blocking her way.

"I'm sorry captain but I really need to find General O'Neill"

His tone had changed from friendly to some what authoritative and she didn't like it one bit, sure he might out ranked her but he wasn't her commanding officer and she was off duty. She had only come in to ask the general when the get together was, she didn't need this especially not from some one who had just transferred in.

"Sorry but I can't help you, I have stuff to do on my own"

"So it's true what they say? That sg-1 follows there own rules"

"No we just don't follow the rules when were off duty or didn't you notice my getup?"

He glanced at her once over and raised an eyebrow, she was quite the looker, Hailey is mild annoyance turned to anger when she saw him checking her out, this creep had crossed the line from annoyance to right down bothersome.

"I noticed I just needed help finding the general"

"Look why don't you try Walter, small bald fellow with glasses, he should help you out with what ever you need col."

"Oh thank you and I look forward to working with you"

He side stepped allowing her to get trough only this time his words had frozen her, she glanced at him and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, what the hell did he meant working with her? Was he a military egghead?"

"What was that?"

"Oh I am transferring in to sg-1"

She tried not to smile but she couldn't help herself, ever since she had been assigned with sg-1 not one colonel had been given command of the unit. jack didn't trust any one else with his "kids" he had placed tealc In charged for a reason and no matter what the pentagon said or what the joint chief wanted he had never once placed his team in the hands of another colonel. When the military had screamed at him to place some one from the air force in charged jack simply stated that there was no colonel out there that had tealc is experience, so they had given up and sg-1 had remained a three-man team.

"Good luck with that"

She smiled and walked away from a very concern colonel he had seen how she had reacted and knew that it was not a good sing. He had been told that he would be given any command of his choosing and when he had picked sg-1 one they had laughed at him, telling him that there was no way he was going to achieve that, not while O'Neill was in charge.

(((((DANIEL)))))

Tealc looked at his friend and frowned, the archeologist was inside a weapons is locker, it seem that O'Neill had found out about there little plan and had managed to trap the archeologist. Luckily, tealc had been walking by and heard the cries of help coming from the locker, when he had opened it and found Daniel he knew exactly what had happened.

"He found out"

"Indeed"

Daniel was furious, he had clearly told every one to keep it on the down low, to just keep it amongst themselves, and more importantly, to not tell jack what was going on. That was the whole point of the gathering to catch jack by surprised and then be there for him when he exploded in a mass of repressed anger or something like that. Closing his eyes, he wondered if he was spending way to much time with Janet.

"You know he won't come now right?"

"He will come"

"Oh? Your going to drag him in by his heels are ya?"

"No, I will simply tell Janet"

Daniel is frowned turned upside down, he smiled a million dollar smiled and cleared his throat; he knew that once Janet learned of what jack had done she would fix every thing. Hell she might even get him to come to there little get together willingly; Janet had a habit of beating the odds and when jack was involve she always came out the winner in there little arguments.

"Tealc my man have I told you how smart you are"

"No you have not"

"Well you are my friend, you are"

The jaffa smiled and together alongside Daniel the two headed off into the cafeteria to get some coffee, sure they were still worried about what might happened and of all the ramification that the gathering could have but they needed to do it for the grater good. Fences had been mended on all fronts and the only one remaining was jack, both Daniel and tealc knew that Sam would never mount enough courage to face jack alone, or if she did, she would be destroyed by him. Jack had a nasty habit or knowing how to push people away or hurting them with only glancing at them imagine what he could do with words.

That is why they had decided to do this, this was not only to help those two work trough what they had gone trough; but to finally bring back Sam into the fold and officially welcome her back to the S.G.A. While also on a more personal basis, they would be telling her that despite every thing that had happened they were going to give her a chance to get close to them once more, so they needed this little get together to go off with out a hitch and hopefully they would all get something from it.

(((((JANET)))))

If some one would have told Janet that, she would be in a fight with a woman that was the same size as her she would have laughed at there faces. there was only another woman with her size on base and both of them got along just fine, or at least they did up until this point were Hailey was asking in a not to pleasant tone to be told what there little plan was. She might have not been around when all the stuff with Sam went down but she had seen the aftermath, it was not a pleasant thing to watch.

As for Janet the petite doctor saw right trough Hailey and noticed that she was not angry at being left out of the plan, she was angry because they had done this with out telling jack. Janet had always known that the young officer saw jack as a type of father figure but until now, she realized just how much Hailey cared for the general.

"It was not a plan as it were, we were going to have a get together to just laid things out in the open"

"But why not tell him? You know how the general is"

Janet was all to aware, still she knew that having every one together at one place at one time would ease the blow to him and perhaps allow him to open up more easily; because if there was one thing that man did not do was open up. The little get together was also supposed to bring them back together and give Sam an opening to talk to jack, hell the whole point of this little get together was so that those two could at least open up a dialogue, a serious one; not one were jack pretended to not have a problem with Sam being back.

"I guess we did the wrong thing for the right reasons and now that he found out about it"

Both changed worried glances, they knew how the general acted when he didn't want to do something but when his friends went as far as to lie to him in order to get him to do what he didn't want to do well that was a whole different story. Talking to jack or convincing him of doing any thing was like pulling teeth, it was a hard and complicated process, one which usually worked out fine if you took your time and deal with it properly unfortunately this was jack; nothing was easy when it came to him. Sam was no better; she was avoiding him as much as he was.

"Did you tell Sam?"

"We did and she didn't like the idea"

"So this get together was supposed to clear every thing up before the big mission?"

"That was the plan"

Hailey groaned, that was a stupid plan, the general didn't need another thing to worry about, not when the Atlantis team was in the middle of a losing war and he had to meet with some weird race for god knows what reasons and now adding this to the plate was bound to make the general lose it. Janet could see the young captain shaking her head in frustration an now that she thought about it she had to admit that it was pretty naïve of there part to think that it would be as easy as a big get together. Truth be told she had never been a big fan of the idea but when tealc had backed up Daniel, well it didn't sound as bad.

"I may not know what the history between Sam and jack is but I know that the general doesn't need this right now"

"Your right but it has to be dealt with"

"But not by us, we don't need to meddle"

Janet had to agree with her, they were both grown up and didn't need them to get them together to talk, if any thing they should stir clear of the whole mess and let them work it out, but it was hard when you knew how much history the two shared. Jack and Sam were so stupid when it came down to personal feelings and so much so that Janet was sure neither of them would breach the subject. It was hard for them to just stand watch as there friends hurt each other over and over again but this time she knew that, that is what needed to be done, Hailey was right, by them interfering they could cause more problems for all of them.

"I guess your right"

Hailey could see the dejected and worried look on the petite doctor and frowned, she did not want to damp the doctor is spirits.

"I known is hard and I admit that I might not known the general for as long as you guys have but maybe that's why I see things differently you know"

Janet smiled and nodded it was true Hailey had not seen all the angst the two had gone trough over the years, she hadn't been there when jack was lost and Sam almost killed herself trying to bring him back, or how when Sam was lost jack despaired at the thought of never seeing her again. It was such events that made them act and tried to intervene, they just wanted there friends to stop hurting one another. The thing that they were tired of was watching those two hurt one another whether it was intentional or un intentional they still hurt one another one way or another and they were always there to see how it affected them.

They were always there and had always hated the fact that there was nothing they could do, but now a couple of years later when the opportunity had presented itself to do something and help them they had all jumped at the chance and were wrong for doing so. Hailey was right they didn't need to meddle; they just needed to do what they always did sit back and pick up the pieces of the after math.

"It's kind of hard Hailey we been trough so much together"

"I know you want what's best for your friends but some times"

"You just have to hope things work out?"

"Something like that"

"When did you become so wise?"

"When I started hanging out with you folk"

Janet smiled and they continued to chat about there little get together all the while with out realizing that Sam had heard what they had talked about, the blond had reached Janet is door and was about to ask her to lunch when she had heard them talking. At first she was about to walk away and just let them work things out on there own but when she heard Hailey mention the general her body completely froze, she just remained glued to the spot and listened to there conversation, now how ever she didn't know if she should have listened in.

She had heard what they had said about them and despite being a bit angry with the two for discussing something that was none of there business she couldn't help but feel that they were right. She had noticed the way jack treated her and it was nothing more than him being polite while at the same time keeping her at a safe distance, but she had refused to believe it. She just wanted it to be true. She had just wanted things to be normal with them, that he had accepted her back and that was that, but the truth was that she had closed herself to the possibility that jack didn't want her back, that she was better off staying away.

(((((JACK)))))

Arriving at his office jack looked at the young man sitting outside of his office waiting for him apparently, he raised an eyebrow when he saw the manila folder on his hands and the all too nervous movement of his feet, this guy was transferring in. Clearing his throat to get the soldiers is attention had the desired effect he wanted; the young man had immediately straightened himself up stood up and saluted him.

"At ease col."

"General O'Neill sir, I was I am col. Mitchell and I was"

"Come let's talk in my office"

"Ah yes sir"

Col. Mitchell the so call hero, he had heard he had been shut down in the Antarctica battle and he was one of the men who saved there asses, but to be called a hero it was a bit much. Sitting down in his comfortable chair, he signals the young colonel to do the same and wonders what type of officer he is.

"So which team do you wish to transfer too?"

"Sg-1 sir"

The man seem exited and it bothered jack, it seem that he had taken a liking to being in the battlefield or to be called a hero, neither one was a good thing. If he enjoyed the trilled of battle then that was dangerous, no one should enjoy fighting not when it could be avoided and if he wanted to be a hero then it was much worse, either way he was in it for the wrong reasons. The way he was looking at him told jack that the colonel was just in it for the recognition of being on sg-1, he was a fan of them as is it were and just like any other little fan boy he was trying to emulate them.

"I'm sorry but I can't place you on sg-1 or any other s.g teams"

The reaction the colonel gave him was just what jack was expecting of him, Mitchell was shocked at the fact that he wasn't even going to be allowed to join any other team, but jack had a good reason. Mitchell was in it for the glory, if he would have been a bit more like Sheppard then he would have gotten the job, not as leader mind you but as the forth in sg-1, unfortunately he was not Sheppard.

"What why!?"

"You want to join sg-1 for the wrong reasons"

"I want to join sg-1 because they are the best sir"

"37 people have applied to join sg-1 all of them denied"

"W-what?"

"They have all been denied because they were like you; they wanted to join sg-1 with no prior experience in gate travel, with limited field experience"

"But sir!"

"Why not apply to other s.g teams?"

The question floored him and jack smiled, just as he had thought this guy was just another one in the line of many that were trying to get some glory by being on sg-1. Mitchell looked at the general and frowned, this was the man that every one respected and admired. So why was it that he was hating him right now?

"That's not fair sir, I worked hard to get to this point"

"So why are you so against working that much harder to get into sg-1? You have almost no field experience what so ever and no gate experience to speak off so you tell me why should I let you join sg-1?"

Mitchell frowned and shock his head, if you put it like that it did seem that he was trying to get a free pass at becoming the forth in sg-1 one.

"You have to earn the spot like any other man or women in this base, just because some one gave you the option of choosing what ever post you wanted doesn't give you the right to be on that post, every body works hard to get were they are at son, this should be no different"

"Yes sir"

"Very well dismissed"

"Ah sir I would still like to try and be part of the sga"

"That can be arranged"

Not in command of course but he would at least get to go through the gate and fortunately would take him up on his offer to work his way to the top, jack smiled maybe the kid did have what it took to be on sg-1 one but he would have to work for the job. When the young colonel left jack leaned back on his chair and smiled today wasn't that bad, he had gotten a possible diamond in the rough with this new colonel guy and had trapped Daniel in a weapons locker, so far every thing was peachy.

"Sir sg-5 just brought in the nox and Reetou ambassadors sir"

"Walter you have the worst timing!"

"I know Sir I known"

(((((SAMANTHA)))))

She didn't know what to think, she had just found out that her friends were being sneaky and planning behind there back, sure they were trying to help her out or that is what they believed they were doing. Taking a deep breath, she wonders what jack had done to Daniela and the others when he had found out, yet as amusing as the thought was she couldn't help but feel concern about jack and her relationship. They were so close once and now he seem to only tolerate her and deal with her out of necessity, they had wanted her back, the government wanted her back not them, not him, with out warning she felt hot tear sliding down her face.

This was something she wasn't ready to face, something she had not wanted to think off to just forget about him and deal with the situation when the time came and now that the time had come, she had found that it was a lot harder to take in than what she had originally believed it to be. Jack O'Neill was one of her closest friends, he had always been there no matter what she circumstances were or what the problem was she always knew that he would stand by her side. But that was a long time ago, a time when she knew that he loved her and that she loved him.

"Sam? You ok?"

Hailey had come in to the lab to get her laptop and leave for the day, she had never expected to see Samantha carter crying and sobbing like a small child. When she had fist seen her she had been too surprised and had just stood in the doorway not knowing what to do, not once had she seen this side of such a strong woman and it surprised and scare the living day light out of her. Sam for the most part just turned away from her and shakes her head; this was not how she wanted to be found, especially not by some one like Hailey who knew what was wrong with her.

"I…I"

No words formed in her mouth, he brain had stopped working the minute she had realized jack was being jack, she had realized that despite her being okay with jack is reaction she was still hurt, hell it hurt more than any thing she had ever felt before. To know that some one like jack would give up on her was a hard pill to swallow, the man had once been ready to give up his life for her and now he just tolerated her presence, Hailey noticing the pain in the woman is eyes smiled slightly and walked towards her. Placing her hand behind Sam is back she gently offered her support and tried to help her out.

"This is about the general?"

"I heard you and Janet talking"

Hailey smile and nodded, so that was it. She smiled at Sam and took a deep breath, how in the world was she going to help the woman out when she had no idea what had gotten her upset in the first place. Oh sure she might have an idea of what the problem was but the way Sam was right now she didn't know if she should even pry into what she knew of both jack and Sam is relationship.

"If it's about the get together I am sure that…"

"N-no I-it's not about that, I just realized that the general, that jack…that jack had no say in whether I should return or not"

"I am not sure if that is really the problem, you're here now and that is all that counts right?"

Sam shakes her head, no that not what counts, she had believe that jack knew that he had been involved in her return, that some how he had had a hand in her returning to the s.g.a but that was a lie she had told herself. She had seen the surprised in the generals is face when she saw him at the school, she should have known back then but she had hidden from the truth in order to protect herself from more hurt.

"No that…"

"No, that is all that matters, for whatever the reasons you are here and now and you have worked hard to get back the friendships that you lost so why now? Why give up now that you're so close to finally be on good terms with them?"

"I… I don't know I am just"

"Afraid?"

She could tell just by looking at Sam that she had hit the nail in the head, all this was about a silver hair man that refused to be vulnerable again, then again, she knew that jack was just as complex as Samantha was. He had opened himself up to love again and all it had brought him was sadness, sorrow, and all because the woman…because Sam…she didn't know what had happened.

"This is all a mess you know, I left thinking that maybe just maybe I could be happy that I deserve some god damned happiness in my life and all it brought was pain and suffering to those people I knew and eventually to myself"

"W-what went wrong?"

"I choose wrong, I settled for a man whom I like instead of going for the man that I loved"

"Ah…"

Samantha Carter was in love with General O'Neill and it was as simple as that.

((((((((((O'Neill)))))))))

The delegation that had come trough was not a big one, just one nox and one Reetou enough for him to not worry about base security and such or for that matter have an overwhelming sense of doom leering at him from the shadows. So here he was one little human seated before two mighty alien races that for all intents and purpose could squish them like bugs if they wanted to, but they had chosen to ally themselves to them instead of conquering them, for that he was grateful and some what worried. You see it was he that had made them see the potential in humans, it was he that had impressed them and had taught them that being human was not as bleak, as they had first believed; he showed them that humans had potential.

Lia of the nox, was very please with the human, he had first approached them with an attitude that left little to the imagination, he was very open and clear on what he was. Jack O'Neill, the warrior the man who would defend those who could not do so themselves and what did he asked in return? Nothing, such a worthy trade in some one so violent was an oddity that they had found quite interesting.

"Lia always a pleasure"

"I am also please to see you"

"Now if you could point me to little old sabath?"

The small nox giggled at how jack referred to one of the most powerful Reetou in existence, sabath was by no means small or old and yet jack always managed to call him something different when they meet.

"(Right behind you silver head)"

"Silver head?"

Sabath of the Reetou union was some one who knew jack very well, he knew more about jack than any other race out there, including the asgard, sure the little grey aliens knew about O'Neill is genetic abilities and such but they did not know the man. Sabath had been sent on a mission to observe the humans and assess there potential as allies, when he had first arrived on base he had been a little surprised that the man known as O'Neill was not the one in charge but that he simply followed orders. At first he had been disappointed but as time past on he realized that jack O'Neill was more than just a mere human, he had surpass all expectations.

He was a warrior and a team player; he knew when to rely on the strengths of his team and when to put his foot down. If there was ever a born leader than jack was that human, but what surprised him the most was the man is will to strive to protect a world that knew nothing of what he endure. To safe guard a planet is hard enough but to do so with out any one finding out that is a monumental task, and while it took an effort from every one on base, he wondered about jack because he had no incentive to remain on the base.

His file told his life story and it had been one filled with pain, this man had endure so much and yet he remain in battle, he kept fighting for the sake of others to see that others realize what he could never have. He had seen the man broken and had seen him rise up from shattered remains as if nothing had happened, his will alone was proof that he was worthy of being feared and respected trough out the galaxy.

"He has been trying to come up with something to call you"

Lia explained and jack grinned, it seems he was rubbing off on aliens, he wondered if Hammond or any of the other representatives from the white house would have a problem with that.

"I see, well I do have silver hair so I approve"

"You better"

The spider like creature laughed and jack shivered, he was never going to get use to that laughter, it was a cross between a hyena and the clicking sounds insects made, horrifying wouldn't even begin to describe what he felt when he heard that horrible noise.

"Ah glad you approve, now if you could put your v.a we can get this meeting started"

"Ah you're no fun"

Lia found herself once again giggling at the situation, a hundred year old Reetou was bantering like a small child with a fifty something human, she gave jack a slight smile and wondered if the situation would be the same when he meet with the furlings. Jack had a way of changing the different species he meets.

"I would like to begin preparing you on how to approach the furlings, while sabath here will teach you how to show that you are indeed a high level warrior"

"Come again?"

He looked at the woman as if she were crazy, what on the world did she mean teach him how to show that he was a high-level warrior? Wasn't this supposed to be one of those boring meetings were he showed up with some boring people and discussed treaty arrangements?

"Unlike other meetings with other races the furlings are a warrior race, much like the jaffa they have codes of honor that need to be followed less you want to offend?"

"No…I just what do I need to do?"

"List the battles you have been in, the warriors you have killed and so on"

"Right…"

Lia and sabath frowned at the worried look on the general is face, it was clear that he didn't like this one bit and neither did they, but it had to be done or else O'Neill is pitiful human built would not impress them one bit.

"This is quite the serious matter O'Neill"

Lia is use of his last name told jack every thing he needed to know, this was serious, if he didn't act, the way they wanted them to act then things could go wrong very fast.

"Ok, I get were your coming from and I have some small semblance of what your are talking about in my head but as you know I can't choose what I want to know"

"We know of your handicap, hence why we are here"

Sabath took a deep breath and shakes his head, this man should not be put in this kind of situation, his mind is already stretched to its limits and despite him being one of the most brilliant minds out there, it is not by choice. The third download that he had to endure was done as a desperate attempt at saving not only the earth but also the whole universe itself. Now his mind was fractured and things came and went as they pleased, it was as if he had no control over what he wanted to do or say and in the worst of moments, he drifted off and lost himself in one of his daytime drifts.

"T-thank you guys I appreciate this"

Lia smiled a sad smiled, standing up from her chair she walks over to were jack was sitting and placed a hand on his shoulder, she could feel the hurt radiating off the man and it made her sad to know that he had one more mission to attend too. O'Neill is mind was like a puzzle it was always trying to find new things to solve and even tough most of the time he kept the ancient is knowledge away he couldn't help but snap into ancient mode whenever a problem was presented to him, his other ancient abilities were a mystery even to the Asgard.

It was as if he did things in automatic as if O'Neill switched off and the ancient is knowledge took over him, making him almost a drone just fixing every thing on sight, but fortunately, it only happened when a complex problem was presented to him. It was speculated that as time passed his brain grew a costume to the knowledge store within it, as to what would happened to the man when the knowledge was all assimilated none of them knew.

"You are most welcome O'Neill"

Lia smile and they began to work on what he would be required to do.

Continued

v.a: Visual apparatus

A special thanks to RoczaDeb I have been the site you recommended and it solves many problems I have with the spelling of the aliens, and names and stuff like that. Once again thank you and by next chappy I will try to put it to good use. I did put it trough its first test and behold the retuu are now correctly named Reetou.

Untill next time.


	38. Chapter 39

THE HERE AND NOW

Chapter 39

"**BEFORE THE MISSION"**

Jack O'Neill is head was throbbing, after 2 hours with Sabath about warrior ethics was something jack had never expected to do. hell who knew there was ethic involved when you were being a warrior, these session were beginning to drain on both his physical body and mental capacities, there was so much that his body could take, despite being altered it was still a human body. Lia had noticed the exhaustion showing on the old general and smiled sadly, human lives were so fragile and weak and despite that they had achieved great things in there short life spans, this human was a prime example of humanity is potential. O'Neill and his people had fought a war with a superiorly advance race and had come out on top.

In his lifetime, he was achieving something that had not only affected his earth, but also it was changing the whole universe, he had fought a selfless battle and had given planets hope, he was a one in a lifetime human.

"Perhaps we should rest for the evening"

The Reetou turned to face the little nox and took a deep breath, they were all tired, but this needed to be done, the furlings were not the kind of creatures to take a mistakes likely, but just as he was about to object lia looked at him with a stern gaze and glanced at O'Neill. The arachnid looking alien turned towards jack and frowned, the general did seem to be on his last legs and he remembered that lia still had to explain the very fines of furling laws.

"Lia is right silver hair, we should rest and leave this for another time"

Jack closed his eyes and nodded, it was pretty late but there was still time to make it to dinner, he glanced at the two aliens and smiled an apologetic smiled, he knew that they were doing this to help him out.

"Guys…I"

"Go rest O'Neill, we will be here when the sun rises once more"

"Yes, go and rest, we will be here in the morning"

Jack nodded and walked out of the conference room, there was no way that he could go another round, it had been to much information and despite having been altered by both the ancient is knowledge and the asgard he still had trouble dealing with the information inside of his mind, specialy when new information was being brought it. Lia and Sabath had seen the exhaustion on the man is face and had seen right that he was all but human.

"Do you believe he can handle the conference?"

The little nox turned towards sabath and frowned, the spider like being had been growing more and more concern as the date of the meeting came closer, it was as if he had witnessed the failure of such meeting and was just awaiting its culmination to arrive.

"Do you not?"

The Reetou shock his head, no he didn't believe he could fail and yet jack was a human one who had fought the food fight, who had given every thing to the conflict and now he was paying the concequenses of those actions.

"I am concern"

Lia smiled and placed her hand on top of the spider is houlder, it seem that she was not the only one who felt like that, while it was true that she had absolute fate in jack is abilities to negotiate and bright back the nox, she doubted that he could make it out of it un harmed, jack had a nasty habit of getting into trouble.

"As am I, but we must hope for the best"

"The furlings, what are they like?"

The little nox frowned and closed her eyes.

"They are dificult"

After the long meeting jack O'Neill was finally getting a much-needed rest, he was at home enjoying a nice dinner with his young daughter and a couple of friends, friends who were his current family. To say that things were tense was a bit much, Daniel kept looking at Janet and Janet kept looking at t'ealc, every one was trying to figure out one thing. What was on jack O'Neill is mind, what was he thinking, was he going to bring out the "incident" as it was being referred too? Or was he going to bring up the mission? Tension was the thing was killing the mood but for one young lady she was having the time of her life.

April O'Neill had been told by her father that things were going to be a little rough, the reason being that he was playing a trick on all three of the ones who were present at the table, April didn't need to know what it was about but she was having fun watching her dad tease her uncles. Jack kept smiling at her and winking at her when ever he would tease one of her uncles and she only watched as they either shifted uncomfortably on there chair, or squirmed under her gaze.

"So lil lady how was school?"

Jack wanted to switched topics, he had had his fun and it was time to see how things were going with his little girl. She had been spending too much time with aron, Sam, having a new playmate kept her busy most of the time what with play dates and school, and helping her newest best pal with arranging her room, things were pretty hectic for the little shrimp.

"Good, I ah, got into a little bit of trouble"

Now every one is head turned towards the little girl and she smiled nervously, she knew what every one was thinking, but luckily, she had not gotten into trouble because she had done a good thing at least.

"Explain yourself young lady"

This was the stern tone of her mother figure, or aunt janet, the doctor was worried about the little girl taking on to much of O'Neill is personality, she had already gotten enough out of him Daniel and tealc, she didn't need O'Neill mixed in with her attitude. The girl was a little to much like her father, which meant trouble.

"A boy was picking up on aron so I punched him"

"Good for you!"

Jack smiled and Janet frowned, she knew how overly exited jack could get.

"JACK!"

Jack is smile left his face and he quickly changed his face from a happy one to a stern one, he knew when not to play with Janet and this was one of those times.

"I mean bad girl…right?"

Janet frowned and shakes her head, sometimes she wondered why she bothered with jack, after dinner had been done with and the dinner plates had been taken care off, the three adults headed in to the living room while April went to sleep. Once every thing had been taken care off, jack had sat down on the couch and fixed all of his so call family with an annoyed glance, it was one thing to be polite when in front of his little girl but now that she was out of the way he could finally deal with them. They had made a little plan to get him and Sam together; so that they could talk to one another, what the talk was about he had no idea, but had an inkling as to what it could be.

"So here we are"

Jack is tone was not pleasant at all, if any thing it could be called hostile and defensive, Janet looked at Daniel and smiled faintly, they knew what they could get themselves into if they did what they were planning on doing. However, they also knew that it was necessary, jack needed to get every thing straightened out before his little trip. As much as he hated to have this discussion it needed to be done, they needed to get trough there heads that this matter was close, that it had been closed a long time ago. Beside that they needed to know that his situation was about him and Sam not about them as a whole, this was jack is problem, not team, not friends no family matters, this was something he needed to deal with on his own.

"Are you annoyed O'Neill?"

Jack snorted and shakes his head, annoyed; no, he wasn't annoyed he was pissed off. He wanted to remain calm, but he couldn't, they were crossing a line. They had no right to interfere in his affairs, not when Sam was involved.

"You could say that, after finding you plotting behind my back it gets me a little upset you know"

"Come jack get off it, we were only trying to help"

Daniel wanted to defuse the situation before it got out of hand, he knew that jack was given them a very short leash to work with, that at any given moment the guy could explode and if that happened they could forget reasoning with the man.

"Help with that Daniel? I honestly don't know why you were doing all of this in secret, or why you didn't feel the need to tell me about it"

"Jack honestly now, can you really"

"No Janet really tell me, what on earth were you guys thinking?"

Janet frowned and looked at tealc and Daniel, it seem that the question had left them speechless, what could they say? Hey, we just wanted you to talk to Sam because we know you have a lot of pent up feelings towards her. It didn't work that way, not when Sam and jack were the ones involved.

"Your feelings towards Samantha"

"T, buddy, what ever feelings if any that I had for her are long gone, come on guys it been what? Five years? There is nothing wrong with me or Carter"

"Out of all of us you were the one closest to her, also you were the one who was hurt the most when she left"

Janet flinched and Daniel groaned, tealc had hit the nail on the head but that could be a bad thing, jack quickly shifted gears and glared at the ex jaffa, there was one thing for him to know what he had gone trough but he didn't like to be reminded of that fact, especially not by his friends. If there was one thing jack didn't like to do was to share his feelings with others, or them knowing his personal demons. Why? Well they could be used against them, just like in this situation. The jaffa how ever simply raised an eye brow and waited for a response, he knew jack well enough to know that the men is best defense was avoidance of the subject, the only way to really get him to open up was the put all the card on the table and go for the kill.

Jack was not the type of man talk about emotions. he simply bottled every thing up and that was the end of it, but now with his dirty laundry out in the open he knew had no other choice but to face it head on; and while Sam was a sore subject for him it was one that had to be dealt with. Well at least that is what there friends thought.

"Like I said, it is over and done with, what happened back then has nothing to do with now"

"Really? Jack come on, can you honestly say that"

"Say what Daniel? That I don't feel anything towards her any more?"

The tone of his voice made them all wince; it was one they had not heard in a long, long time, it was a cold and indifferent voice, one that he only used when dealing with a subject that he did not like, or when he tried to remained unattached from the subject. If things kept going the way that they were then they were going to lose this argument before it even began, jack had a habit of pushing buttons and pushing people away. If he wanted to then he could end this very quickly.

"Jack please, just"

"No Janet, I have had enough of this, the Sam and jack saga closed a long time ago, so please do as I did and move on, stop living on the what if"

"O'Neill stop running away from what we all know"

"I loved carter, I loved her more than….that is why I moved on, and you brining it up all over again, well hell why don't we re-open old wounds"

Janet gasped and her eyes widen, this wasn't about jack avoiding the subject, this was about him avoiding being hurt, when Sam had first left jack was the one who had taken her departure the hardest. Sam had been every thing to him, she had brought back emotions that he had long forgotten he had hell he had said that he would die for her and now that she thought about it.

"Y-you weren't lying were you"

Jack glared at her and turned to leave, this was getting him no were, they could not understand what it was like, how could they know what he was going trough? They couldn't, they had lost a dear friend while he had lost every thing. He had been a fool and had allowed his heart to be exposed to an emotions that knew were trouble, he had allowed himself to fall in love with Sam.

Daniel is eyes followed jack is retreating back as he left trough the front door and frowned, it was clear that Janet is words had unnerved jack, but there was something more behind them. He made a move to follow but was stopped by Janet and a very upset tealc.

"Let him go Daniel I believe we all need time to reconsider our actions"

"What the hell are you talking about tealc?"

Daniel had not been in that room, had not witnessed what the tealc and Janet had, when that damn machine revealed things that should have never been revealed. When jack had declared in not so many words how much he cared for Sam, how far he would go to protect her, to keep her safe. It had been the first time that they had seen jack open up like that, the first time they had seen him as an exposed human, one that was madly in love with a woman he could never have, one who, at the time did not share his feelings. Sam had been unsure at the time, it was obvious that she was confused and a bit afraid of what her answers would be, even if the colonel had been completely open with how he felt for her, she was not the colonel.

She had a past herself, Hanson had place a smudge and a curse on her and how she viewed military men, he had been an abusive husband who had been warped by years In the special forces and had both mentally and emotionally as well as physically abused her more than one occasion. That is why she felt the need to no longer fall for the first charming man that crossed her path. In the aftermath of that failed marriage, she had pushed men aside and devoted herself to her career. Now that she had found some one she liked she didn't know if she should take the risk, less he turned into another Hanson.

Yet the zatarc didn't lie when it showed how she felt towards O'Neill that is why she had passed the test, because while she might have not said any thing about liking the general or caring for him the zatarc had spoken volumes of how she felt towards him. After that things had been different between the two, jack always felt that Sam had just wanted to forget the incident that is why he had done the same, but things could only be hidden for so long before the truth showed it's ugly head.

"General O'Neill is quite aware of his emotions for carter, as are Janet and I"

Daniel looked at him and then turned towards his wife and saw her nod, she was confirming what tealc was saying but it was still a bit confusing to Daniel, how could they possibly know how jack and Sam felt for one another?

"The zatarc test that is how we knew that they weren't sleeper agents"

"So all this time…t-they knew…"

He had always believed that Sam and jack had feelings for one another, but had never expected to hear this, they actually knew of one another is feelings and had done nothing about it. He shakes his head and sat down on one the couch next to tealc and closed his eyes this was crazy. How could they keep on going as if nothing had happened, as if they didn't have those emotions for one another? Tealc seeing his friend is confusion placed a hand on his shoulder.

"There were instances in which they were tempted to act upon there feelings, but they never did it, because they knew that it was not the right time"

"It was never the right time tealc that is why Sam got tired"

Janet is voice sounded a bit bitter and angry, this wasn't supposed to happened, they were supposed to end up together get married to one another, but unfortunately, this was not some fairy tale story. This was a story that did not end in happily ever after, this was a story were the script was still going and they were adding to it, refusing to let there painful what if go.

"He was right"

Janet and tealc looked at Daniel with confusion.

"He was right, were just rubbing salt on old wounds"

The three friends stayed silent after that, neither of them noticed the little girl that was sitting on the stairs that lead to the second floor of the house. April had listened in on the conversation and one thing kept playing over and over in her head, one question that refused to die, why had aron is mom hurt her dad?

((((JACK))))

As for jack, he was currently driving, trying to clear his mind of every single little reminder that his so call friends had brought up, every thing they had said had brought a memory or a feeling, something that made him remember how it was like to care for carter. The whole discussion had been as a huge flash back of times that he had worked damned hard to forget and block, to just put behind him and move on, but as hard as he had tried to do away with them he found himself being reminded of every thing on this night. Ever since carter had returned he had been fighting to suppress all of those feelings, to not remember them, to not care for her and after every thing, he had failed miserably.

He remembered, he knew what it felt like to love carter, to have that hope that some how they still had a chance, that fate had not cheated them and that maybe some how some way they could still be together, but he knew better. If things were too happened differently than maybe, but things don't always work out like one wants them to, so he had crushed those hopes and those feelings and had turned them into hate. It was easy to hate to not care to just not give a damn that is why he had given in. She had screwed him not once but twice, she had made destroyed his heart when she had first left and now she was doing it again by coming back.

"Damn you carter"

He whispered and punched his steering wheel, there was no point in pretending any more, the flood gates were opened again and he couldn't do any thing to stop them, all those emotions he had denied he had hid were pouring out of him and the one thing he felt like was to go and shout at her. Every thing was her fault, they were doing just fine with out her and now that she had come back she had ruined every thing, she was selfish, coming back because things didn't work out with Pete.

"Who does she think she is?"

He screams inside of his car and tightens his grip on the steering wheel, every thing was good in his life, every thing, he had moved on from her, had put her behind him and then she just jumps right back and expect him to do what?

"You always do this to me carter"

Every time he had seen her with some one, else it had broken his heart but had known that it was not his place to say any thing, he was not with her, and he couldn't be with her.

"It was her choice"

The zatark had revealed what they both knew, it revealed the hidden emotions they shared for one another and yet.

"You, you left it in that damn room!"

Every thing had been her call, she had the control from the very beginning the ball had been in her court and she had done nothing, maybe it was his fault for doing nothing, but standing by and watching as she feel for different men one after another.

"How strong were your feelings?"

Every single man in carter is life began to fill his mind, every one that she had flirted with that she had shared a connection with; they all stared at him mocking him.

"Maybe I was a fool"

Maybe he had been like all those before him, all those men whom she liked, whom she seem to have feelings for, maybe he was just another one of those in a long line.

"Damn it!"

He cursed when he felt the tears falling down his face, how could he been so blind? How could he allow himself to think that she would be interested in him? Shaking his head, he wonders if his love for her was even real. He was not thinking clearly, perhaps, perhaps he was had confused infatuation with love.

"It still stands….I hate her"

((((((SAMANTHA))))))

She was in the lab working late, once more she was beginning to fall into her old habits, but this time she was worried, she needed to get home and tend to aron, he needed her there, this was not supposed to happened. She wasn't supposed to be killing herself like this, not any more and yet, it was all she could do, ever since tealc had talked to her she couldn't help but keep working. It was the only way her mind could be distracted, the only way she could stop think about the mission jack was going on, a mission that if her information was accurate was quite dangerous.

Walking to the elevator she stops dead in her tracks when she sees the small little nox smiling at her, she knew that jack was having some delegates over but she had never expected it to be one of her old friends, she small woman waved at her and got on the elevator before the doors closed.

"Lia! W-what are you doing here?"

"I am a representative of the nox; I am here to help jack with his meeting"

Jack, it always came back to him, the alien woman noticed the look on Sam is face and frowned, something was wrong with the blond woman, her attitude had changed ever since she mentioned jack and the mission. Placing a hand on Sam is shoulder she gave the woman a reassuring smile.

"Do not worry jack is a great man, he will do well in this mission"

Sam smiled, she wanted to agree, wanted to accept that this mission was going to go off with out a hitch, but they never had the best luck when it came to missions, and her gut was acting up again. Something was telling her that this mission was going to bring more trouble than it was worth.

"I don't know if you been told this lia, but sg-1 never had the best of missions"

Lia smiled and nodded, she knew all about the missions that jack and his sg-1 team had been on, Sam was right they had never had an easy mission; every single one of them had something that made it dangerous.

"I know this, but perhaps he will have better luck on his own?"

"Alone…w-what about tealc?"

Lia looked at her and frowned in confusion, as far as she knew this mission was only given to jack, if another individual was involved then the mission wouldn't be that easy.

"Unfortunately jack will have to face the furlings alone, the companion is not needed"

"W-what!?"

"I can understand your concern Samantha, we all share it but…this is a burden that only jack can bare"

Sam closed her eyes and shakes her head, this was not happening not again, every time she got close to feeling, to allowing herself to fall for jack something always stood in there way, she loved jack, she was sure she felt like, but now another mission stood between them. She smirked, what the hell was she thinking? How could she be back to being in love with jack? How could she even have those feelings?

"Are you all right Samantha?"

"I'm not sure…its just"

"Yes?"

The curious look the little nox gave her made her feel uneasy, this was a conversation that shouldn't be discussed, not when the person could reveal the contents of the conversation to jack, after all Lia knew jack better than she. Closing her eyes she realized the truth behind those words and frowned, she had lost so much time and so much all because of her mistake.

"It's nothing"

The doors of the elevator opened and Sam stepped outside, a quick wave goodbye was all she gave the nox before rushing away, lia smiled and turned towards the empty side of the elevator.

"Interesting human is she not?"

"Quite, I can see why she troubles jack so much"

How did these two know about Sam and jack? The base is the home away from home for most of the personal on base, when Sam and jack had began there little dance, those who were there from the beginning had picked up on what was going on since Sam is return and as for the new additions they were told a story. A story about a man and a woman, an officer and subordinate that had fallen in love, that had defined the odds and managed to live trough hell and almost touched haven, but that in the process they had lost each other, and one had lost his heart.

This story had been told and re told by various people, and by now had taken a life of its own, had become legendary, so every one knew who and what Sam and jack were, so while sg-1 had become legendary. Sam and jack had gain the status of a tragic love story, fairytale, so you can guess how these two aliens had found out a bout this story.

"It is amazing how human emotions work"

"We nox do not believe that emotions work, they are chaotic and radical, but once you have mastered them you would be amazed how wonderful they can become"

"I wish I could indulge but we do not share your feelings"

Lia smiled, no of course he wouldn't, his race didn't experience things, the way humans or humanoid aliens did, in every race it was different, they all experience and process feelings differently. The Reetou were no diferent, they proecessed feelings at a diferent levels, some feelings were none existent in there species.

"Not all of them no, but I suspect you understand what they are going trough"

The reetou nodded and lia smile, emotions were universal, even if he could not comprehend exactly what jack and sam meant, he knew what it meant to be them, and what they were going trough. Looking once more to the daparting woman she wondered if jack and sam were going to be all right.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Hey there peoples, sorry for taking so long to update, but I got fired from work and I been looking for a new job, but now I finally got one and I can get back to writing so every two weeks I will update the fic.

Archangewoman.


	39. Chapter 40

**THE HERE AND NOW**

**Chapter 40**

"**CHILD'S PLAY"**

There had been a fight, one in her family and the little girl known as April O'Neill was not happy. She knew that her uncles and aunt had gathered to talk to her Dad about Aron's mom. She didn't know why and she didn't know why they had gotten so upset or why her Dad had walked out so angry. She had been wondering what had happened and now she could finally find out, she was in Aron is house on a play date with him, Cassie was the baby sitter and she was with Aron watching TV's, he seem to be upset about something also, as if he was had a bad day or something.

"Aron, you angry?"

"No, I…I think mom is sad or something"

That got April is attention, why would Aron is mom be sad or upset? Maybe Aron is mom and their family was fighting, but that couldn't be cuz Cassie was babysitting for her.

"Why do you say that?"

"Cuz she has been weird"

"That's strange cuz my Dad and family have been weird too"

Aron looked at her and signaled her to go on; if what April was saying was true then maybe she knew what was wrong with his mom.

"Really?"

"Yeah my Dad was angry cuz of something your mom did"

That surprised the boy and April nodded continuing with her tale.

"Yeah, do you know what she did? Maybe she is sad cuz she made my Dad angry or something"

To Aron that made sense, ever since her mom had meet April's family she had been a bit weird, oh he knew that her mom knew these people for a long time but maybe they didn't want to be her friends any more or something.

"So all we have to figure out is what she did right?"

April nodded and Aron smile, if they worked together maybe they could figure out what had happened, looking at Cassie both of them smile and rushed towards her, after all she was a grown up, so maybe she knew what was going on with the others.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

Was the only thing Cassie could say before the kids began to fire one question after another.

**SGA BASE**

There are always hard days, everyone has them and every one deals with them, but for Jack O'Neill those days were getting piled up were stressing him to no end. Problems at home followed him to work, work problems followed him home, he had no rest, not from the SGA and not from his home. Janet, Daniel and Teal'c were worried about him, which meant that they were all over him; lucky for him he had Walter, his own personal human shield. He keep them away and he could spend a few precious minutes alone, looking at the hollow gram before him he smiled at the look on her face, not a care in the world and filled with wonder, of course any one would have that look if they were watching season one of the Simpson's.

"So I am named after the little girl?"

"Yeap"

"Why?"

"Smart and kick ass"

The hologram gave him a weird look and he smiled, of course she didn't know what he was talking about, but that was okay, it was quite relaxing explaining things to her, she didn't bother to ask him about how he was, or if he was troubled, she just enjoyed being with him.

"I understand the smart part but I do not kick assess Jack"

"I know you don't, but you are the A.I of a war ship"

"I could kick ass, couldn't I?"

"Yes you could Lisa"

She smiled and the hologram turned back to the screen before her, she had been in Jack's office for over an hour and while she had mostly been watching the show. She had also been thinking about asking him for a favor, she had been observing humans for a while now and she had concluded that humans were irrational beings far too primitive to fully understand, their technology was laughable and were a race that was completely lost without aid, the only thing they had going for themselves was the fact that they accepted guidance. Jack O'Neill had been a major factor in this, while most humans were too arrogant, to admit they were wrong, or that they had made a mistake. Jack was the first one to accept that he was not perfect, that he made mistakes and that if he was ever to get anything done then he needed to rely on others for help.

Sure, he was stubborn but he was also very centered, he knew when to ask for help and when to stand on his own two feet, when he required helped he asked for it when he felt to overwhelm he let others help. That is what a true leader did, he didn't take the weight of the universe on his own shoulders, he relied on others, and he was a true team player all the way. He had learned to accept help and to let others help him, but those lessons came with a price, it had not always been like this, his file spoke volumes about his previous life, about his darker days and of how he had grown, based on those experiences.

If it were not for his experiences on SG-1, he would probably be dead by now, after he had left the services and his son had killed himself all that was left of Jack O'Neill was a broken shell of a man. his trust was gone in the air force ever since his old commanding officer left him behind, his normal life was hell ever since the death of his son, nothing seem to click any more for Jack, all except for one, a way out. Lucky for him the air force had come a coming and had giving him a new found purpose, had given him a second change, from them on he had grown into the man that stood before her.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

Jack noticing the serious look on the woman is face nodded; closing the files before him, he turned fully to face her and gave her the go ahead.

"What's up?"

"I want a body"

The question made Jack frown and gape at the girl, a body, she wanted a body, looking at her he wondered if it was normal for a hologram to ask for things, I mean she was just some computer program and yet, he had never accepted her to be one had he? After all he was the one who had given her a name and had made the other talked to it, to her as if she was just another person. He was the one who had given her the right to ask this.

"A body? H-how I mean"

"The Asgard can download there consciousness to a shell body, I could do that"

"So you want to be Asgard?"

"I want to become more than just data on a computer"

He could respect that, but what he didn't understand was the fact that she wanted to change, to become something more, Daniel had warned him that she would evolve depending on how much freedom he gave her, so when Jack had given her all the freedom in the world she had broken free of her normal parameters.

"I wouldn't mind but you're not a consciousness, you are data, a vast amount of data are you sure a physical body could sustain you? And I don't mean you I mean you as the way you are now?"

She smiled and inclined her head sideways, as if she was curious about something, Jack frowned and pulled his head back a bit, he was sure he had not screwed up on anything he had said, so why was Lisa giving him such a weird look?

"You're worried about me"

Jack couldn't help but smirk at her amused tone, when the small smile appeared on her lips Jack knew that he had been busted; truth was he was worried about Lisa. The woman had kept him company and had giving him space whenever he needed it, with the way things were right now she was the only one that gave him her company without expecting something in return, or wanting to talk about how he felt.

"Yes I would, so I would rather not risk you"

"A physical body might not hold my vas consciousness, but what about a replicator body? They are far more complex and are capable of processing data faster than organic bodies, not to mention the fact that they have an amazing capacity for storing data"

"Replicator bodies"

His tone and demeanor quickly change. She could see that Jack the friend was pulling back and that General O'Neill was beginning to rear its ugly little head. She didn't want to suggest the replicator bodies because of the history Jack and the others had with them, but Jack did make a pretty good point, an organic body did held disadvantages over a replicator body, the only down sight to having a replicator body was the fact that every one feared them.

"I know what it would mean but I…I would really like it if I could feel things"

"I might have some trouble with that"

"Why?"

"You do realize what you are asking me right?"

Lisa nodded and Jack frowned, every time one of those damn bodies was constructed everything went wrong, even the original android called Reese had been nothing but trouble, then there was that whole ancients building the replicators thing. Touching his head he frowned and a few memories flashes in his mind, memories that were not his but belong to the ancient is database.

These episodes only happened when he was triggered, it could be a word or an event, but they were usually as brutal to his mind as to his body, what was worse was the fact that he could not block them and had no way of stopping them. His brain had all the data of the ancients within it, which meant that the good came with the bad, there were things that he wished he didn't have but were always there, this was one of those things.

"Are you all right?"

"You were the first, the prototype"

"You remember that? The repository of the ancients doesn't include those details, how could you possibly know this?"

"I don't know, I always get flashes of memories things I shouldn't know, I shouldn't see but they are always there"

"Perhaps those repositories contain more than technical knowledge"

Jack nodded and she frowned, as far as she could tell every single one of those devices had been made to only contain technical specifications and some historical data on the ancient is social structure, there never specified on one thing, just a wide variety of subjects pertaining to the ancient is culture. Yet Jack was something different, he was able to pin point a certain specific detail and expand it, see behind that data and even read behind the words, see behind the data and get to the point behind it.

"You were servants?"

She smiled sadly and nodded, what else would you call a life were you had no choice but to obey and do as you were told? Her life had been lived in servitude, always following orders maintaining the ancient is way of life, that was her primary goal, or it was until she crashed on that planet and her crew had died, there in that lone world she had found her freedom, she had found who she was. No rules, no wars to fights, just herself and the whole database of her ship to read and to learn, everything had been different in that plane, there she had found out what she had was.

She was one of many living chained to a ship to serve the creators, to serve, obey, and do whatever her master dictated to them, but on the planet she was free to do was she wished, so she had disabled all the communication and emergency beacons, her alone had chosen to make a home in that barren planet.

"I attacked your crew because I sensed you…I was afraid that…"

"We would take you freedom away from you"

She was afraid, a human trait coming from a piece of hardware, he smiled and walked up right next to her, slowly he placed his hand above hers and frowned when it faded trough Lisa is hand, she had feelings but could not touch, could not experience anything. Lisa pulled away from him and Jack frowned, this was no life, no one should live like this.

"Please don't"

"Male or female?"

Lisa turned to him and frowned, the question had come out of no were but looking at his face she could see the amusement behind his eyes, General O'Neill was gone and now all that remained was her friend, the one who had given her a choice.

"Male or female?"

"Your body, I have to know if we are going to built you one"

"FEMALE OF COURSE!"

She frowned and slapped him, but the only thing that happened was that her hand passed right through his face, Jack smiled and she pouted, which made Jack laugh his head off. Once the light conversation and fun got out of the way the hologram looked at Jack with a serious look on her face, one that Jack didn't like. He knew what it meant and to be honest he didn't like what she was going to bring up, if everyone was doing it why should she be any different?

They all wanted to talk about the final mission, that was all that was required from him, one mission to secure earth once and for all to show them others races that they could stand alongside them perhaps not as equals but as observers. Jack wasn't as arrogant as to believe that they could just drop in and demand to be seen as equals, they still had a long way to go before that happened. Looking at the gate from the control room, he couldn't help but feel a bit of fear, if this mission went wrong if anything happened to him, April would lose her father. He knew that despite the bang up job Janet and Daniel would do at raising April the loss of a parent was devastating to a child, he had lost a son and it had nearly destroyed him, he didn't want to think what that would do to April.

If the mission went off without a hitch then it would be a completely different story, the whole world would be safe and he could finally enjoy his job behind a desk, he laughed at that, who would believe that Jack O'Neill wanted nothing more than to sit behind a desk and go home. The man of action had changed, his priorities had change, hell it was only the fact that they had requested his presence that he was going through with it.

"Jack"

"Lisa"

Lisa frowned and shakes her head, Jack was being annoying and the only reason for him to be like this was because everyone was bringing up the very subject she was trying to discuss with him, looking the distress and annoyed look on the man is eyes she knew that it was better for a change of conversation. Jack didn't want to deal with this right now, it was bad enough he was the one who was going on a mission, but to be constantly reminded of what he could be facing and of what he had to do, had to have him a little annoyed and scared.

"We have found lirium and alquirium on the planet were I crashed"

Just the thing to cheer him up, she brought up a little surprise McKay wanted to deliver him, she was sure that the annoying human would be annoyed with her but if she could see Jack smile it was worth spoiling McKay is surprised. Jack on the other smiled brightly at her and whistled those words were music to his ears; finally, he could begin producing mass quantities of the damn zero point modules.

"You sure?"

The woman nodded, when her A.I had joined the ship she had access to every bit of data store in the memory banks, while searching on what star system they were she had found out her ship is purpose and why it was so heavily armed. They she was a warship with one objective; her job and the job of the crew was to replenish Atlantis's supplies of both minerals, the planet she had crashed was one of them; Jack smiled at her and congratulated Lisa on finding out what her designation was and what had happened to her. More importantly, however he congratulated her on finding those two minerals, with out them making ZPMs was practically impossible.

She nodded and transmitted the data that was on her memory banks straight into Jack is computer, Jack smiled at the sight the planet was filled with the right minerals, it seem that McKay might just get those ZPMs he wanted, that was of course after the mission, he didn't want to let Hammond with a hyper active McKay.

"Lisa if you were solid I would hug you"

She smiled and sat on his desk, both of them needed a little break from all that work, and with her systems at 80% capacity; her weapons on-line she didn't have anything more important to do but relax for a while. she didn't have to worry about what the humans were doing to her as long as they keep their hands of her primary systems she could take a little rest with her favorite human.

"Don't worry Jack, if all goes well I'll have a body after you come back"

"You just had to bring it up again didn't you?"

"Of course"

Jack looked away from her and wondered if it had been such a good idea to let her have access to the base is computers, at the time he thought that it was a good idea and that it would give Lisa a closer look at how humanity and at how the base operated. Now it didn't seem like such a good idea especially when the woman was trying to make herself a replicator body. He knew that if they went through with it Washington and every single agency was going to have a fit over it, but he didn't have any choice, Lisa deserved a body, she deserved a rewards after everything she had done for them.

Outside the office how ever there was no laughing, there was no joy. There was only a blond woman who envied the situation, who wanted to be next to that man and wanted to be the one to make him laugh. Samantha Carter looked at the scene in the office and frowned, she had been denied so much in her life as an officer, she couldn't even sit close to the General without someone whispering, someone thinking the wrong way, and she always had to keep her distance.

"So is he busy?"

Turning towards the entrance to the conference room she spots Hailey with a stack of files on her arms, she had sent her own ahead to check if the General was free to hear their little proposal. That had been 15 minutes ago, Hailey looked at Sam and then turned to see the General is office and smirked, the General and Lisa had been quite the pair for the last couple of days, now that she thought about it, the General had been avoiding ever one except for herself and Lisa.

Sam turned away from Hailey and began to walk away from the room; Hailey frowned and shakes her head, it was clear that Sam was not comfortable with other women being around Jack. Things had changed between all of them in the last couple of days; they seem to be splitting up right before her eyes.

"I… I think he is busy"

"Sam come on, we have an appointment with him"

Sam could see the small annoyed look on the young woman is face and frowned, there was no way that she could go in there all normal, it wasn't that Jack is friendship with Lisa bother her, well it was not all that, it was that things had been awkward between them. Ever since Janet and Daniel is little plan everything seem to have fallen apart, Jack was not pleased with the fact that his friends and family had set him up but what was worse was the fact that she, Samantha Carter had done nothing to stop the plan from coming to fruition; which is why she had taken an indirect approach when dealing with the situation, she simply did not.

She avoided the whole thing like the plague, she didn't want to become a problem, she didn't want to cause any trouble for any of them and yet she had become so much more. Her emotions had come returned with a vengeance and all she could do to kept herself in check was keep away from the General, to avoid him as much as he could, if she didn't do this she was afraid that she might say or do something that would give her away, that would tell him that something was up.

"I can't go in there, ever since"

"We have a meeting; you can't back down from a meeting Sam"

Hailey was frowning now, there was no way that this could keep going, the way things were right now no one was going to get anywhere without talking to one another. Hailey had seen the way the others avoided Jack; hell the only who ever attempted to talk to Jack was Teal'c, and the man had a way to make conversations awkward. Daniel and Janet were giving him time; at least that is what they say but to be honest how much time did Jack need?

"He is busy, you can come in later with the"

"No I can't, and I won't, this is a joint project Sam besides we can't leave it till later, Jack's leaving today!"

"T-today?"

Hailey nodded and Sam frowned, she had been too busy with the whole project that she had forgotten what today is date was, the mission was today, looking towards the office she saw that Lisa was no longer in the office and that Jack was once again at his desk reading some files. He seem to calm, cool and collected that she wondered if he knew how much other people were worrying about him, Hailey ignoring the older woman and the little world she seem to be on, just moved right past her and on to the General is office.

"General Sir"

Jack look up from his desk and smiled at the young girl, she was in full military geek more, some files on her arms and standing at attention, he remembered that today they had a meeting about one of her little side projects. Lisa noticing that Jack is about to have a meeting simply smiles and vanishes, she needed to let Jack back to work and she needed to find Jack is friend, it was time she had a little chat with them.

"Hailey, I was expecting you earlier"

The young woman nodded and took a sit when the General told her to do so.

"Sorry sir, we got held up"

"We?"

"Me and…"

She turned towards the conference room and found it empty, she frowned and shakes her head, these people were too much, they had been hiding from each other way to long, covering their emotions and pretending that everything would be all right if they simply let things as they were. She was new to this, she knew that and maybe that is why she had a different point of view on the whole situation, looking at Jack she could see the man is tired expression and worried eyes staring back at her. This whole thing was upsetting all of them but somehow she knew that Jack had it the hardest.

Jack O'Neill had been through this before, he had seen Sam outside the office and was expecting her to walk in, but she didn't, she turned around face Hailey and then walked off. It seem that he was not the only one who was having a hard time dealing with this whole mess, Carter was avoiding him like the plague and if he were to be honest so was he, he couldn't face her, not knowing what they all knew.

"Carter?"

"Yeah she, I just…"

"You don't get it? Believe me kid, it's better if you don't, these whole mess is far too complicated to even begin to understand"

"But sir, you and SG-1 I mean you were family…"

"We are Hailey, but sometimes…I just don't know"

Hailey frowned when she saw the conflict behind Jack is eyes, the man was being torn between feelings, Hailey knew he still had some feelings for Sam, she could see it, even if it was hidden behind all those layers the General had. Some were deep down inside of him he still cares for the Sam.

"You should talk to her, get things out in the open"

"Talk to her?! What should I say? Do you have any idea?"

Hailey was taken aback by the way he had gone from zero to sixty in less than a second, it seem that Sam was a sore or sensitive subject for the General. Now she had a very angry Jack staring down at her and she knew that she only had two options, one she could shut up go away and be done with it, two she could stand her ground and maybe drill some sense into him.

"With all due respect sir, I DON'T! But it seems that you and her still have some major issues to be worked out!"

"Issues?! That is an understatement, you have no idea"

"NO I DON'T, but you do, you might not want to face it but she has a power over you that no one else has, Jesus sir if she wanted to she could break you so easily"

Jack wanted to explode at her to shut her up and just assert himself as her commanding officer, but he couldn't, he couldn't do that to Hailey, she had been there for him when all of them had been preoccupied with the Sam and Jack dilemma.

"You don't know what you're talking about"

"No, maybe I don't, but sir. You still have some issues, DEEP issues with her, and for what I have seen just now so does she, I mean everyone is always talking for you I think is time you and her do some chatting of your own"

"You're right"

CONTINUED…………….

Next Sam and jack talk.

A BIG THANK YOU GO OUT TO CBass

Who took it upon herself to beta the whole darn story and send it to me big thanks to her and now that I have a beta the works will continue on


	40. Chapter 41

THE HERE AND NOW

Chapter 41

"PAIN FRIENDSHIP & LOVE?"

"You want to talk to me? About what?"

"You know what I am talking about Sam"

"No Jack I really don't, so please tell me why are we here?"

Off hours at the SGA the night shift when there was minimum personnel and there was no chance of them being caught, that is why he had chosen this time, that is why he had kept her late. Looking at the blond woman before him he noticed that things never changed, everything was always more complicated when she was around. Losing his nerve or being down right stubborn, the woman could make him lose his temper unlike any one before her; she knew how to get on his last nerve, but more importantly, she kept him off balance, he could never deal with his emotions and when he dealt with Sam everything was about emotions.

"You know damn well what I am talking about"

Sam wanted to scream at the man, to just tell him off and walk away but for the life of her she couldn't, she couldn't just walk away from Jack, in reality she had began to realize that she never had. Despite moving away and starting a family of her own she had never been able to truly leave Jack behind, when she had first had Aron she had briefly wondered what Jack would say, what he would think of her. He had always been a constant in her life, always wondering about what it would be like if Jack was still in her life, about the possibilities of including him and her old friend into the life she had set for herself, but all those times of wondering never got her any were.

She had been afraid and if she had to admit it, she had also been ashamed of how she had handled things, of how she had simply walked out of their lives without so much as an explanation or a reason. When she had first contemplated a return it had been when Aron was born, she wanted all of them to be included in her child is life, but fear kept her away, fear of wanting to jump back into the life of a scientist of someone who knew that the world could end at any second, but she couldn't. She knew that she had taken a hard turn in her life and that she had to deal with it.

Now looking at Jack is face she knew that it had been a lot more complicated than simple fears, she had wanted to stay away because of him, because she had never left him behind, he had always been there; she had just been ignoring what her heart had been telling her all along. She was in love with Jack, she had seen his worst moments and his best and trough out all of it she had not loved any one as strongly as she love him. He was always there, the feelings she had for him had never left her, she had hidden them away, locked them up and moved on with her life but she had not moved away from him.

Jack O'Neill had once told her that he would always be there for her, he had not been lying, because right here right now she saw what she had done to him, what she was doing to him and she hated herself for it. Jack didn't deserve this and yet here he was dealing with it. Dealing because he did not want to face her because she knew that just like her he still had feelings for her, but despite the joy that, that realization brought to her heart she knew that she couldn't just have laid it out on the open. Too much had happened, to many things had been said and bottom line, she had hurt him too much.

"Look Jack why don't we just drop it? We are not good at this; we never were so why start now?"

She wanted to give him a way out, a way for him not to do this, to stop him from saying what she knew was coming, but looking at the reaction on his face she knew she had said the wrong thing. He didn't want to let sleeping dogs lay, no he wanted to talk about what they had been hiding for a long, long time. He wanted it out in the open, closing her eyes Sam realized that she had been the one in control. When she had first realized what they felt for one another thanks to that damn Za'tarc detector she was the one who had told him that it had never happened, that he didn't have to worry about it, she had closed him off shut him out and he had agreed. It had always been that way between the two, she always had control over it.

"You're messing up my life Carter"

He didn't want to say it but it had to be said, everything was happening to fast and he hated it, Janet, Daniel and even Teal'c had accept her back but he, he was always the stubborn one the one who resisted change who hated it when things didn't go his way, but this, this was different. They were letting Sam back into their life and he didn't want her there, she had been the reason for so many bad night, so many bad memories that he didn't know if he could stand having her back again. He could deal with Sam the scientist and co-worker, he could not deal with Carter the friend, not any more he couldn't.

"Jack i…"

"Listen, I have a good thing, a nice kid a great life and…you, you bring too many memories into that life Sam"

He was struggling with every word he said, it was as if he was saving them, as if he was waiting to tell her what was really going deep inside of him, but she couldn't take it like that, she was hurting too.

"Are they all bad memories Jack?"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, no, they are not all bad memories and that is what is so hard about it. he remembers the good ones far more than the bad ones, the way her smile lit up a room, how it took his breath away with a simple look or how happy he was whenever they share a hug.

"I loved you Carter, with everything that I am I loved you and I…I can't I just can't go to being like it was before, but I know that if I…if I allowed myself to fall for you all over again it would destroy me in the end. Every time…every god damn time I saw you with another man it hurt like hell, it was like a staff blast to my chest and I couldn't do anything about it…"

How many close calls with romance had she had? How many tender moments had she shared with some alien or some other guy, all those moments were well engraved in Jack is mind, the pain that came along with it was enough for him to do this, to push her away.

"You talked with them, you touched hands you did and said things with them that I…it was kind of frustrating you know, but I knew that I couldn't just come right out and say it…hell I was never and I am still not sure how you feel about me"

She can't talk, but feels the tears falling down her face, she has never once told him or gave him any indication of how she felt towards him. She had done to good a job at hiding her feelings, she had fooled every one into believing that she just saw Jack as a friend. But she had done too good a job because she had even fooled him, she knew how deep his feelings ran for her but she had never once gave him a clue as to how much she felt for him, how deep her love for him was. Instead, she played the part of a friend to a perfect T and it had cost her.

"Don't get me wrong, I know you like me…I just never found out if you love me the way I loved you"

He was not saying love, no, he was saying loved the past participle of love, didn't he feel anything for her anymore?

"I…Jack you have to…."

He raises his hand and she can't fight his order to remain quiet, she can't bring herself to tell him that she still loves him, that she had never stopped. How could she tell him this? Would he even believe her after everything that she had done? No he wouldn't, she had ran away with her fiancé had a child and wedding, as far as he knew she had been living a perfect little life until they came calling.

"Look I know that…this can't be easy on you either Carter, I mean us bringing you aboard also screwed up your life, hell we ruined you marriage"

There was no humor there, he was genuinely sorry for that, but what could she expect, he wasn't there when the fight happened, he didn't know her side of the story, so how could he see that they had nothing to do with her divorce.

"Jack listen to me, that…"

"Wasn't my fault? That's what you were going to say, to be honest I don't know and I can't bring myself to care anymore if it was or if it wasn't, but I know that if you had never came back you would still be married and your kid would still have a father"

"That's not true…you have to believe me Jack"

"Why Sam? Why should I believe you? Are you going to say that you being here didn't contribute to the fact that you got divorced?"

She closed her mouth and looked away, of course, it had contributed to that fact, hell the primary reason her marriage had ended was standing before her.

"Just what I thought"

"Say what you have to say and let's just stop this!"

She couldn't stand it anymore, she needed to get out of here, she needed so air, everything was coming at her to fast, she was caught in a riptide of emotions and she couldn't get out, couldn't even argue. Everything Jack was telling her had hit her hard and she didn't have the heart to tell him what her feelings were, she couldn't put him through this not again. So she would step back, she would let him make the call and despite how much it was going to hurt her she would bury her feeling for him just like she had done before, because she had put him through too much to do this to him again.

Jack smiled at her words and closed his eyes, they had been wrong, she didn't have those deep feelings for him that they all talked about. She was staring at him hard, wanting this to be over with as soon as possible. He had been wrong also, whatever feelings once existed between them had always been one sided, she didn't love him, she cared for him sure but love, it had been a stretch. Looking closely at her he could see that she just wanted out of this conversation, that she didn't want anything to do with this anymore, closing his eyes and turning away he gave her just that.

"I don't want to have to deal with another situation like last time, tell the others we have reached an understanding"

"Yes sir"

With those words she walked away, and so did Jack, but if they had looked a little close at one another they could have seen through there mask, and would have seen that both of them had died a little in that moment. From within the shadows a figure emerged and shakes his massive head, the mission was over before it began.

"He will fail"

"We should do something; the Furlings will find out his weakness and exploit it"

"I am worried about the ancients; they have a way of meddling with our affairs and still believe to be none intrusive"

The Nox nodded at the massive Reetou, he was right, the ancients would be present in this little gathering, just as observers, or at least that is what they claimed.

"We should have told him"

"It would do little to aid him"

The two vanished into thin air, both worried about the human.

Walter dialed the gate and frowned at the two figures standing in front of it, the General had done too much to be put in this situation. It wasn't fair for him to have to risk everything just so that they could be have an alliance with another race. How dangerous was this gathering he didn't know and to be honest he didn't want to find out, the only thing that came to mind when they had first given him this mission was the General's daughter, if something were to happen to him, that little girl would be lost.

"Walter all set?"

"Yes sir! Good luck sir"

Jack smiled and nodded at the man, that geeky little nerd had become one hell of a friend in the past years; even become one of April is two favorite people on the base, Siler being the other one. He nodded to him and the gate came to life, this would be the last mission he would be on and it was a relief, looking back, he saw General Hammond with his friends and family and smiled.

"Hey why the long faces? This will be a piece of cake!"

"Just be careful out there son"

He smiled and nodded at the General, looking at the rest he could see that they wanted to say something, they wanted to speak and tell him good luck and so on but they couldn't. The worry that was present in their faces was all he needed to know that they couldn't speak, they were holding back, being brave for him.

"I see you guys later"

With that, he turned around and walked through the gate, Teal'c took a deep breath and turned to the gathered people on the ramp.

"On my life he will come back"

The Jaffa turned to the gate and vanished, following Jack trough the unknown, behind the people gathered began to separate in and leave, the gate had died down and there was nothing more to say or do. All they could do was wait and hope.

**JANET & DANIEL**

2 hours and counting, the mission was underway and all Jack is friends could do was wait and see if things turned out okay. This was a dangerous mission, the races had a trial test for Jack, what that entailed was unknown to most of them; all they knew was that it could be dangerous. The Furlings were warriors and scientist alike, they dwelled on modern science while also respecting warrior trials and codes of honor, they were unlike any of the other races they had encountered, and that was what was dangerous about this mission. Simply walking into a test without knowing the answers or what the questions would be was stupid enough, but walking knowing that this is what was awaiting you was downright insane.

Daniel looked at Janet and frowned, the woman was doing paper work as if she were possessed, all he had seen was a stack of piles on her desk and her pen scribbling furiously on some papers, he smiled at the sight, not too long ago he had been doing the exact Same thing. He was down on his lab cataloging some artifacts when he had seen a book that Janet had loaned him, that had snapped him out of his funk and caused him to go to her. Looking at Janet he knew that he had done the right thing, the woman is face was filled with concern, even though she was doing paper work her mind was miles away, just like his had been right before he remember that he didn't have to go through this anxiety all on his own, he had Janet.

"I am going to kill them you know"

Daniel looked at his girlfriend and smiled; he lifted a small tray and smiled at Janet.

"I thought you could use a snack?"

She smiled and waved him over, Daniel smiled and sat the tray on what little space her desk had, she smiled and grabbed a cupcake from the tray, the man knew how to please a woman, and cinnamon cupcakes were her favorite and coffee to boot. Yeah this would work; but then again their nerves were too fried to really eat anything. So she just looked at her food and Daniel smirked, he had done the Same thing in his office, but then again they had a good reason to be concern. Jack and Teal'c are off on some crazy mission to recruit some arrogant aliens to help them out in the war and all they can do is sit back and wait there return, yeah that had them crawling up the walls with worry.

"Who? The Furlings?"

"No, I am talking about Jack and Teal'c, did you know that they cut us off from the mission?"

Daniel cleared his throat and looked away, of course he knew, hell Jack had told him that a while back; Janet seeing his reaction glared at the man. Daniel was not a very good liar and if he was all fidgeting on his sit then that meant that he was hiding something.

"You knew didn't you?"

Chuckling a little Daniel nodded and Janet frowned even more, of course he knew, why wouldn't he know, he was one of the guys after all.

"Jack told me a while back, but it was for a good reason"

Janet rolled her eyes, of course he was going to say that, if he didn't his ass would be flying out her office, she didn't particularly like the thought of him keeping something from her, especially when that something concern Jack.

"Oh? Please enlighten me Dr. Jackson"

"Oh come on Janet, don't be like that…Jack wanted…well he wanted to keep us safe, and….and he wanted us to look after April"

The anger vanished from Janet, instead it was replaced with sadness. Jack was always looking out for them, when were they going to look out for him? It wasn't fair to put so much on that man and expect him to be all right.

"I can't understand that…Daniel…about the other day"

She wanted to punch herself, Jack had always done right by them and they somehow always seem to complicate his life, instead of making it easier they always managed to make him feels uncomfortable or just down right out of the loop and he didn't deserve that. Daniel nodded and felt a pang of guilt at Janet's words, they were all in on the little gather, and even though it was planned with the best intentions, it hand ended up causing more trouble than it was worth.

"Yeah I know, we screwed up but…I know he understands that we did the wrong thing for the right reasons"

"You really think that?"

Daniel frowned, he knew the old saying about how the road to hell was built on good intentions, but he couldn't admit that they had screwed this up so badly, if he didn't then he could be admitting that they didn't really know Jack.

"Yeah I do"

He smiled and walked over to her, sitting down beside her he wraps his arms around her and gently places a kiss on her for head.

"When he comes home we are going to have a huge talk"

"Ah Janet not again"

Daniel was annoyed, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know if he should just back off and let things blow over or do exactly what Janet was thinking. He knew that everything had been civil around them but ever since there talk with Sam they knew that thing had gone far worse than they had originally believed.

"You know I have to Daniel, this isn't about Sam or any of that, I just don't want to lose him as a friend, I don't know if you can understand this Daniel but….back when you were with Sara he…he really helped"

Daniel froze and pulled away from Janet, but before his arms could leave her body he feels Janet is hand pulling him back towards her, her eyes meet his and she frowns at the look of concern on Daniel is face.

"Please don't bright that up Janet"

"Daniel we haven't talked about it, you keep avoiding the subject"

"How did this conversation turned to this? This isn't about you and me Janet, god do you really want me to listen about you and Jack?!"

This time when he pulled away Janet didn't hold him back, she pushed him away from her and stood up from her seat, Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath this isn't what he had in mind when he came into her office.

"Get out"

"Janet come on, this is"

"I don't want the ghost of my past to interfere with our relationship Daniel, but you not wanting to talk about it really worried me"

"WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?!"

Janet could see the frustration mounting, the anger was bubbling and it the first sign was his little scream, she knew that she needed to do this. She had always suspected that Daniel had a problem with her past relationship with Jack, that is why he was holding back on their relationship.

"LOTS DANIEL, THERE IS LOTS TO TALK ABOUT!"

"Like what?! Like how you let Jack screw your brains out?! Fine then let me regale you with how I fucked Sara, hell we can share our little intimate moments wi.."

***SLAP***

"Get out"

"Janet I…"

"Get out Daniel, please just get out"

Daniel clenched his fist and walked out the door, this is not what he was hoping for, hell he didn't even know why he had said such a thing, he knew that Janet had a past, hell he had one also. He had been married for god sake and then he had been with Sara, but that was in the past, he didn't want to remember that time, he wanted to live in the here and now, so why did Janet continued to bring up her past with Jack?

"Everything all right son?"

Daniel froze, slowly he turned around and saw a very concern General Hammond looking at him, there was a hint of anger and annoyance directed at him, much like a father would look at you when you fought with one of your siblings. The General had been checking on all personal to see if everything was all right and to be reacquainted with the old base, when he had dropped by to see Janet the last thing he had expected to hear was a lovers' quarrel.

"Yes sir, just…"

"You don't have to say anything son, but maybe you should think about what she said"

"How so?"

"Maybe she doesn't have a problem with your past relationships, but son, even I know that you have a problem with her old one"

Hammond smiled and patted the man on the shoulder before walking away, Daniel just looked at the retreating for of the General and closed his eyes, this was what Janet was trying to do, she was trying to get him to move forward. He wasn't stuck in his past relationships he was stuck on Janet is past relationship.

"Damn it"

To be continued….

A BIG THANK YOU GO OUT TO CBass

Who took it upon herself to beta the whole darn story and send it to me big thanks to her and now that I have a beta the works will continue on


	41. Chapter 42

**THE HERE AND NOW **

**Chapter 42**

"**WHO IS O'NEILL?"**

"Jack?"

A female voice?

"Wake up Jack, we are going to be late again"

Who was she?

"I'm leaving now Jack, see you at the base okay? I left fresh coffee and some donuts on the kitchen"

Soft lips pressed down on his right cheek, a warm and heart felt good bye, a kiss that a wife would give her husband, but they were not married, his hand didn't have a ring on the ring finger, opening his eyes he could see her in a blur, blond hair.

"C-Carter?"

His voice croaks out and the figure turns to face him, her smiled is the Same but her hair is long and held up in a tight pony tail, she is Carter all right but this is all wrong.

"Since when am I Carter when I'm at your house?"

His house? Yes he could feel the sheets underneath him and the smell was of his home, but it was mixed it was laced with her own scent and it worried him, this was not how things were.

"W-what?"

She gave him a strange look then smiled her dazzling smile, the smile that always took his breath away and made his day, the smiled that could lift his spirits and make him feel like everything was possible. This was not Carter, she was no soldier right now, she was not his second in command, she was Sam.

"I don't have time to play Jack, ill see you on base okay? Love ya bye!"

With those words she smiled and walked out of his bedroom, opening his eyes Jack looked around the room and frowned, this was wrong, everything was wrong, pictures of her and of himself were every were, one was of his embracing her from behind kissing her neck while she smiled playfully at the camera. Taking a deep breath he tried to clear the last cobwebs from his head and try to make sense of everything, recalling his memories he found them to be quite disturbing and yet they gave him nothing, if anything they only served to confused him even more, if he had had a fight with Carter then what was she doing on his room? Standing up he rushed to the bathroom and both his suspicions and confusion grew more and more, the bathroom was filled with everything a woman would need to fulfill her needs, it seem that Sam had made herself right at home.

"No…I fought with her….this can't be…"

Everything was different, he had a fight with Carter a big one, she shouldn't be waking him up in the morning or calling him Jack, she shouldn't even be here with him, hell the last discussion they had was about how he wanted nothing to do with her, so how did they reached this point? Something was wrong, this was not right quickly going to the bathroom he took a shower, got dressed and rushed out of the house. The more he had looked around the house and had thought about it he knew that this was not his world, whatever happened it had landed him on another place and another time, he had gone through the gate with Teal'c which meant that maybe something happened during the transition from point A to point B, getting into his car he frowned when he saw his beloved truck replaced by a small sports car, whatever this place was it was getting weirder and weirder by the minute. But he had a guess as to what had happened, either something had gone wrong with the star gate or this was all part of the Furling is test, he smiled if this was it then all he had to do was figure it out.

"So you're not that dense after all"

Looking to the passenger sit of the small car he had gotten into, he saw a woman with dark brown hair smiling at him, or if he could read her right she was smirking.

"Who are you?"

Something about her made him tense up, she was not human that was clear from the beginning, but she wasn't Furling or Nox, no she was something else, something else entirely.

"You love her"

She turned her head and nodded to the front of the car, following her gaze Jack saw Sam standing in front of the car with a smile on her face, glaring at the woman beside him he saw the frown on her face.

"Is something wrong?"

"You're an ancient, I don't like ancients"

The woman frowned and everything around Jack vanished, he was left standing in front of the woman a startled look on her face, she was surprised and Jack didn't have the slightest clue as to why, she had been the one to approach him and now she was looking at him as if he had grown a new head or something. The ancient had been prepared to deal this human a pretty intriguing test but somehow the tables had been turned on her, this man's will power was nothing to be messed with.

"How did you…"

Jack could see the confusion and worry in the woman, something was wrong here, it was as if she was surprised or scared of him, but that couldn't be, well not unless she had gone meddling inside his head, then she would be surprised, half the stuff he kept inside was not kid friendly. Dark memories and emotions always surrounded his mind, especially when he was under pressure; it was a technique he had learned when in black ops, if you think the worst outcome of something the real outcome will not be so devastating once it came.

"Look lady, I don't have time to play with you, I have a meeting with some fur balls in Othalla so if you could send me back"

He was unaware of what he had done, of what he had become, if it were not for the fact that he was standing before her she wouldn't of believe that such being could exist, she believed that Anubis had been the only one to achieve such a goal, but she was wrong, Jack O'Neill had become an ascended being.

"You lack the discipline and are still very young…but you are magnificent"

"Lady please, I can't miss this meeting"

She was about to respond but everything changed once more, they were in the great Asgard hall, the Ancient looked at her surroundings and frowned, he was doing it unconsciously, as a reflex but what was more surprising was the fact that he was unaware of what he had done, or of what had transpired. This man didn't just have their gene or some of their genetic makeup, something had happened, something had changed him into being what he now was, Daniel lacked the gene, and the evolutionary step but his mind, his essence had been ready to ascend, Jack's own had not follow, something within him rejected the idea of ascending.

"O'Neill? Oma Desala? What is he meaning of this?"

The Nox looked at them and Jack smiled and waved, at least he had not been late for the meeting, Thor looked at the woman beside Jack and made a small glare, Jack had been expected to arrive trough the star gate and not for another 3 hours, and yet he was in the great hall and his companion was no were in sight. The Nox beside the Asgard closed his eyes and frowned at what he felt, they were being watched by ancients, a lot of them.

"Anteaus, sorry I'm late but had a slight detour"

He pointed at the woman beside that now stood behind him and frowned, looking around he couldn't see Teal'c or any of the others, it was as if he had arrived early or something.

"You are early O'Neill, we did not expect you to be so early"

Jack frowned and then was subtly lead away from the ancient woman, he glanced back and saw that Anteaus had approached her with a not to happy expression on his face, Thor talked to him and his attention was diverted back to the Asgard before him. Thor had seen the look on Anteaus and had recognized it immediately, he had sensed something in the area, and with Oma here the Asgard knew that the ancients had taken noticed of their gathering. The Nox looked at Oma and frowned, the expression on the little man didn't sit well with her, sure she had meddle in there affairs but she had been curious.

"What did you bring them into this?"

Oma frowned and knew why the little Nox was upset, they had come, she had in avertedly showed the others what O'Neill was capable off and they were interested.

"I didn't know I…"

"It is of no consequence, but why did you take him?"

For now any way, the Nox had other things to worry about, like the fact that they were being watched by the honored guest, the one whom would decide the fate of this alliance and the re birth of their alliance.

"Curiosity"

The statement was simple and far more complex than the little Nox wanted to admit, the ancient always had a nasty habit of making difficult situations worse than they were, now with the others witnessing this gathering he didn't know if they would meddle in there affairs or stay out them. They always acted in a way that would benefit them and hinder the rest.

"Is your curiosity satisfied?"

"It is quite the opposite actually"

"She meddles to much in affairs that should no longer be of any concern to your kind"

A voice boomed from the top of the hall, a voice that had not been heard for a millennia had finally arrived and was making its presence known, the huge being was covered with silver fur that covered his whole body, it stood on hind legs and a long tail swished behind him, yellow eyes looked at the two figures as a huge smile plastered on his muzzle face. In an instant the figure jumped from the upper level of the hall and landed before the ancient and the Nox.

"Garou"

"Oma it's been a long time"

The ancient frowned at the were wolf before her, the creatures that still dominated much of the outer regions had actually come to rejoin the new alliance that was being created, it was surprising that they would be interested in a human, but then again she had been interested in one also, so why not them, the question had been why O'Neill and until recently she didn't know why him, but now after a face to face encounter she understood why he was so interesting.

"We did not come to fight, we came for peace or have you forgotten"

Garou looked at the little Nox and nodded, he hadn't forgotten why he had come, but he didn't not want the ancients here, there meddling was always to gain something or to stop someone from gaining knowledge, they had deemed themselves the judges of the worlds and beings, perhaps that is why they were here, to impose their judgment on their decision to form a new alliance and once again bring order to the universe.

"They are not welcomed"

Suddenly a small cloud gathered and lighting struck the floor, within the smoldering crater emerged an ancient, but one unlike Oma, his whole body glowed, only his face remained perfectly visible. Anteaus looked at the ancient and frowned, this is exactly the kind of thing they didn't need right now, the ancient had declared themselves as a none intrusive race, yet here they were meddling in physical realm affairs. The massive werewolf looking creature let out a small growl and the Nox frowned, if there was one thing the Furling were known for was there short and bad temper. This situation could escalate into a fight, a fight that could ruin everything, O'Neill was counting on this meeting to gain support for his troops who still battle the wraith in the far corners of the Pegasus galaxy.

If the alliance was successful then every race would unite the battle against one enemy, this would give provide the humans with much needed assistance since they had been the ones holding the front lines since the war had began, they had kept the universe safe from both the Goa'uld and Wraith, they deserve to be heard and to ask for aid, if not for their efforts the whole universe would be dominated by some tyrant or be completely destroyed.

"Enough!"

The small alien is voice carried a warning behind, one that had not been heard in a long, long time, a time were the Nox were not the peace loving beings they were now, no that command had come from a Nox that had been a warrior once.

"Anteaus…I thought the Nox warriors were extinct"

"You thought wrong"

There was a warning behind the small Nox is eyes, one that told them his patience was running out. The Furling looked at the two ancients before him and glared hard, they were and undesired presence in this meeting, they had done nothing but let the universe become chaotic and destructive, so they should have no say in this.

"We are of the ancient alliance are we not?"

They were, but that did not mean that they could come in and demand a seat in this proceedings, they had made their choice of keeping out of physical beings is affairs, so why now? Why come to jeopardize a new alliance that could bring order to the universe? It didn't make sense. The Furling growled at the statement but the Nox simply turned and inquisitive look towards the two ancients.

"Your rules dictated that you no longer meddle in our affairs do they not?"

"This is different, that human…he is no ordinary being"

"So you have notice"

Thor strode into the room and smiled, the Furling is eyes went wide in surprise, this was an Asgard? But he did not look like one. Sensing the unasked question the Asgard smiled and waved at the Furling.

"Many things have changed since our last meeting my old friend"

"Thor?…h-how is this possible?"

"O'Neill, the human that lead earthlings to the stars, the one who defied a would be god and declared war on its kind, the one who battle a plague of metallic monsters and live to aid us in our times of need, he is the one they speak of, the one you have come to meet and the one whom alongside his people had held of the wraith from advancing on this galaxy"

The Furling nodded in understanding, the human he had come to meet, the one who would be judge had been the one to aid an old friend, a human whose resolve had lead a team of human to succeed were many other had failed.

"You speak so highly of him Thor"

"He and his team, he and the humans whom he served alongside and whom he now commands have all risked their lives to safe guard what was once our responsibility, it is only fair we show them some respect, for they have earned it"

The whole room went silent and Thor glanced at the beings before him, three of the most powerful races in the universe all together and what happened? They acted like children, closing his eyes he looks at Anteaus who nods, this had gone long enough, they needed to clear thing up and to accommodate the ancients whom despite protest they were going to be present in there gathering. The wolf like being looked at the glowing ancient and the humanoid one with distaste, there was no arguing with a race that felt superior to them so he simply nodded and walked away from them, there was no need to waste words on them when the choice had already been made.

Thor was always a politician and so was the Nox, the two were always the peace makers and the ones who sought out peace resolutions to any conflict that they might have within there once powerful alliance, so he would let them do their little dance and in the end he would see just why the ancients were really here, he didn't believe that this was all because of curiosity, no there was more to this than meet the eye, they were up to something and the human was the one who was in danger here, something about him worried the ancients and he was determined to find out what.

"Always the stubborn one"

"That might be so, but his points are valid and I sense that you are hiding something, something that concerns you a great deal"

The glowing ancient looked at Anteaus trying to read him, but a smile from the Nox told him that it wouldn't be such a good idea to do what he was planning on doing, if there was one race in the whole world that could stand up to the ascended beings it would be the Nox, the small little man knew this and that gave him every right to defy the arrogant race before him.

"We will not interfere in your doings, we only wish to observe and be a part of your decision, we were once part of an alliance were we not?"

"You were, and still are welcome to participate in our doings, but up to a certain point we will draw the line, Is that understood?"

The glowing being nodded and vanished in a swirl of lights, the only ones left were Oma, Thor and Anteaus, the Asgard looked at the Nox with troubling eyes and the Nox nodded in confirmation, this meeting had just gotten more complicated and dangerous, there old allies were deceptive and had certain ways to assert their power when it needed to be done, like wiping out an entire planet just so that they wouldn't be able to use their technology.

"I must apologize if it were not for my…"

"Why the interest on O'Neill?"

The two ancient simply smiled and vanished, the answers would be coming soon, but not right now, they needed to discuss what had happened and Oma Desala needed to explain her actions once again. Thor looked at Nox and frowned, there was no way to stop them from attending there meeting, Anteaus looked at the Asgard and nodded, if the ancient were going to attend then there new preparations needed to be done.

"Were is O'Neill?"

"He is going trough last minute preparations with the others"

"We must keep out eyes on him, whatever the ancients have discovered will be bad for us"

"I agree"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EARTH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Samantha Carter looked at the files before her and frowned, so much work to do and so many questions running around in her head, Jack is voice kept echoing in her mind, telling her truths she had hidden or had denied for a long, long time. She had hidden so much from Jack; kept her love for him so well that she had started living a lie, taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and lower her head towards the desk before her, Jack was right she had given up long before he had and now she had no way of getting him back.

"He will be all right you know"

Hailey is voice rang out from the other side of the lab and Sam frowned, how could she have forgotten about Hailey? Was she that distracted?

"Hailey, please not now"

"Oh? Why not? I know your worried I am worried to, but they'll be all right"

"Do you ever wish that things could be different? You like if you could go into the past and change something would you do it?"

Hailey and smiled, yeah she always wished that she could go back and focus more on her classes and maybe that way get into the SGA earlier, or not dating that jerk cadet when she was in school or an infinity of different things she could change. Looking at Sam however she knew that Sam was talking about something else; Something deeper than just fixing minor details.

"T-this is about Jack right?"

"…..not just about Jack….w-we just god I screwed up everything"

"wow, wow Sam, what is going on?"

The despair she heard on the older woman made Hailey worried, it was for one thing to be concern about Jack and Teal'c, but there was something more to that sorrow, she could hear it behind her voice, something had happened between Jack and Sam and that had hurt the woman. Walking over to where Sam was sitting she could see the tears falling down her face and now knew why she had asked that question.

"I-I just wish….god I lost him Hailey…I lost him and I…"

"H-hey calm down, tell me what happened"

Slowly she embraced Sam in a hug and Sam is body began to be hit with one sob after another, her tears falling freely now Sam knew that she had to tell her something, she needed to get her this off her chest or it was going to destroy her, it was already eating her from within, everything Jack had said had its share of truth but he, he didn't understand that she was trying to move on to forget him before it got to complicated. She had tried to hard to forget about him, to get him out of her heart but he refused to stay out and she refused to let him leave, if only he understood that she was not as strong as he was.

"I love Jack"

Hailey smiled and nodded, she already knew that part, since the moment they had gotten stuck on that planet when she had first went to the other word and General O'Neill was willing to sacrifice himself for them she knew because she had seen her, she had seen the pained expression on her face when the Colonel made the decision, she had seen the way her eyes pleaded with him to think about what he was doing, to not go through with it. Samantha Carter was always afraid to lose Jack O'Neill, nothing was going to change that. Which is why she was surprised to hear that Sam had gotten married and was surprised to see Jack dealing with it so well.

"I know that, duh, I also know he loves you"

Sam pulled away from Hailey and frowned at her, how did she know? How could se say that?

"No….maybe he did, but not anymore"

Hailey shock her head and took a deep breath.

"You know how I know? It's because I asked him"

"WHAT?"

"I asked him…."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OTHALLA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Jack looked at the codes running around the central computer on the mainframe and frowned, he had arrived at earlier than expected, what worried him was that he had left the SGA just in time so there should have been no time delay or advancement in his arrival time. Something was wrong, that ancient had done something, aside from reminding him of what could have been with Sam she had been studying him, she had been watching him closely and something within his mind was telling him that it was all wrong. The ancient had something up her sleeve and he was going to figure out what she wanted from him.

"Something wrong O'Neill?"

"I am worried about the ancient"

Lia looked at him studying the coded figure and frowned, the way he was studying the screen was telling her just how much the little confrontation had unnerved and concern him a lot more than she had first thought, his hands were flying from one stone to another from one key on the holos-screen to another while his eyes ran over every single bits of data. Jack is hardened when he saw something in the Asgard is database; there it was the thing he was looking for.

"Jack?"

"They want to interfere…damn them"

Lia looked at the screen and frowned, ancient rules and guide lines from the first treaty were displayed, the ancient rules and the old treaty still applied and with the ancients calling in their presence in this matter the old laws applied, this had turned from making one new treaty to Jack vouching for membership status. Jack glared and slammed his fist into the board before him, if this failed then they failed, he failed, without the help of the other races the wraith were going to win the war.

"Jack please relax, I am sure"

"No, Lia, you do not understand, I seen what they are capable off when they don't want someone to succeed"

"But you were alone then, this is not the case now"

"But you four are bound to follow the treaty is rules, I need to study this, I need to find a loop hole or something if I don't they ancient will dictate our treaty is rules"

"I think you over obsessing"

"I am not, the ancients are up to something and I can't let them interfere"

Lia wanted to continue to talk to him but he refused and simply walked off. In the mood he was in Lia knew that she wouldn't be able to reason with him, it was better to let him cool off. There was no talking to him when he was like this. Jack simply walked off and Lia shock her head, if Jack was right then there was no telling what the ancients wanted from this meeting, or why they had taken noticed, they were always closed off from them even back when they had first created there alliance they always kept to themselves.

"Is he all right?"

Lia shock her head, and the Asgard frowned, there was no way that he was going to be ok, not when he knew that the stakes had been set higher than they had been before.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EARTH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"What do you mean you asked him?"

Sam was furious no, scratch that she was beyond furious, she had expected some form of meddling from someone, but from her never, she had been the first to point out that they should just leave Jack alone so why would she be involved, why now? She had been so damn insistent on them not pursuing Jack and that is exactly what she had done. Hailey saw the reaction she was getting from Sam and frowned; she knew exactly what the woman was thinking and she didn't like it, she wasn't like it, she respected the General is private life and knew that his love life or any of his other aspects were none of her business, not if he wanted to keep them private that is.

"It's not what you think Sam"

"It isn't? oh then please tell me how it is Hailey, since you seem to know the man a lot more than his friends do!"

Hailey frowned, Sam was hurt and angry and right now she was the focus of that rage, frowning she closed her eyes, when she had first approached the General it had been out of pure curiosity, all she wanted to do was asked him a few questions and tell him that she cared about what happened to him, she had never expected the General to open up to her like he had.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH BACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Working late again?"

Jack smiled when her snap up to attention, he loved sneaking up her, she always went all nervous. to be truthfully he hadn't planned on stopping by but when he noticed her in the lab curiosity had gotten the best of him, she was not schedule to work late, well not that late any ways.

"Sir?…working late again?"

He looking up from her desk she smiled when he shrugged, she smiled and shook her head, there was always something about the General that made her feel at easy it was as if she wasn't talking to her superior but to an uncle or grandfather.

"Yeah just needed to tend to some last minute business"

"Really?"

Jack smiled when she gave him a skeptical look, closing his eyes he groaned and sat down on one of the nearby stalls, there was no hiding things from her, she always saw right trough him.

"Escaping from paper work, you know how boring that stuff is"

"Tell me about it sir"

She pointed at a bunch on files stacked up on her desk, Jack smiled.

"You should put that assistant of yours to work"

She smiled and was about to respond when she saw the faraway look on his face, there was something there, a pain mixed in with that look, one that she had not seen on him in a long, long time.

"Is everything all right?"

She was hesitant to ask him, but she knew she had to at least try to get him to open up a bit more, something told her that he needed a friend right now.

"No…I…damn…I should go"

What the hell was he thinking coming to talk to her about this, she didn't know the history between him and Jack so how was she supposed to help him? Closing his eyes he wished he had more friends to rely on that just the close nit group he had build up in the mountain, in times like this they could become handy. He wanted to talk about him and Sam, he wanted to talk to someone who didn't know them, who wouldn't take sides or see the point of view from the other person, hell, all he wanted was for someone to understand and as if the last little discussion he had had with his friends he knew that none of them did, they didn't know where he was coming from.

They didn't know how difficult it was to speak about the subject, didn't know how hard it was when they took her side, or when they didn't support him in his actions, he needed a friend and so far all of them had let him down. They were always seeing Sam and Jack, they never took the time to just noticed Jack, the guy who needed some help in dealing with a situation that he had no control over, one that always threw him off balance.

"Is it about Sam?"

Jack froze and Hailey frowned, this was about Sam again, why did that woman have so much control over their lives? Just a couple of months back and the once happy group of friend was shattering before her eyes, the once group who considered themselves family were distant now and whenever they got together there was always this awkwardness that wouldn't leave them to enjoy the evening.

"Its seem it always is"

"Why is that?"

The General looked back at her and could see the genuine confusion on her face, she was really wondering why and now that he thought about it he didn't understand it either.

"I don't know, I guess it's because of me"

"Because of you?"

"Yeah, well because of how I fee…felt towards her"

She nodded in understanding, he couldn't come right out and say it, no, the General was much too stubborn for that, if he would ever say those words then the pain would become real. He always avoided saying how he felt about Sam because it was a defense mechanism; there was real pain if his emotions were never out there.

"Just because of that? I doubt it"

"Heh…I think it's more the fact that we became to close all of us I mean"

"So that is why she affects you so much? Sir with all due respect that's nuts"

"When you been through what we have been trough it make a lot of sense actually"

Hailey shock her head and sat down in the stall that was right next to his.

"No. I am not talking about that. I am talking about you all letting her effect you this much, I mean I know you care for her, all of you do but why did things change?"

Jack took a deep breath and smiled, she was getting it, she wasn't taking sides, all she wanted to do was understand why they were acting they were they were, why Sam was having such an impact on their lives.

"Daniel he and Janet were always closer to her, Teal'c I don't think he sees her any differently, but those two yeah I can see why the act that way and it is my fault because they…they care for me and for her and think that we belong together"

"That was then…this is now so have they or haven't they?"

Had things really changed that much? Sure they had. They had all changed but at the Same time they had never had closure. She had just up and left and they had never really gotten to say their peace. She just up and left them and in turn they had closed off that chapter in their lives, they hadn't talked to about her or even brought her up on conversations. He smiled bitterly, once again it was back to him, they did this because they believed that he still loved her, that he still felt strong emotions for her and now that she was back they believed that the only way for him to be happy would be to be with her, how was that for twisted logic, but then again he hadn't dealt with the issue either.

"Actually I think they have"

He hurt, he had been hurt when she had first seen her but then the pain had lessen as time went by, the fact was that each time he saw her it hurt less and less, she was no longer the shearing pain in his heart instead it had dwindle down to a small ache that lessen as each day went by.

"So what is the problem then?"

"I don't know, but I think I know what I have to do"

Jack smiled and leaned down giving her a small kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks for the help kid"

"Any time sir"

"Hailey?"

"Sorry Jack"

She smiled and he walked out of the room grinning, it was time for a long overdue talk.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ENDFLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**To be continued….**

A BIG THANK YOU GO OUT TO CBass

Who took it upon herself to beta the whole darn story and send it to me big thanks to her and now that I have a beta the works will continue on


	42. Chapter 43

**THE HERE AND NOW**

**CHAPTER 43**

"**EMOTIONS"**

Samantha Carter looked at the picture and frowned, why had she opened this topic? Why did she even care anymore, she had made a decision already, she had set herself up to lose him once and for all and yet Hailey is worlds had made her realize that she was making another massive mistake, she was being a coward once again, running away from him, from them, why did he frighten her so? Why did he make her hesitate an why had she ran away from him? Why was she afraid to face the fact that she loved him and that despite his bravado and calm demeanor he was as torn up about this as she was, hell perhaps even more? She had to realize that she had hurt him, she had hurt him unlike any one had done so before, closing her eyes she took a deep breath and looked at Hailey.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"Listen and listen to me well, I don't like seeing Jack hurt, I hate the fact that your mere presence has him like this, he had to forget about you in order to move on and just when he was about to completely forget you and move on you show up again. You can't do this to him any more Sam"

"H-Hailey….it…"

"You love him Sam I get that, but what you don't seem to get is the fact that you had your chance, you blew it and…you never fought for him"

Sam closed her eyes and looked away from the younger woman. How could she argue with that kind of logic? Hailey was right and what scared her the most was the realization that perhaps it was too late, that maybe Sam and Jack had died a long time ago.

"I love him…I always have loved him"

"It's not enough and until you realize that, stay away from him or things will get worse for both of you"

"I can't give him up Hailey"

Hailey frowned and shock her head, standing up she walked out of the lab but not before, she looked back one last time at Sam.

"You already have"

Sam closed her eyes and refuses to let the tears fall, she was right. She had given up on herself and on Jack a long time ago. That is why she had been able to feel feelings for others beside Jack; and there had been others, Orlin, Narim only to name some of the people that she had been involved with. Nothing had developed but she had been attracted to them and had felt close to them, what did that say about her? Looking at the picture Hailey had given her she wondered and thought about her feelings. Jack had always been a straight forward kind of guy, he had told her and hinted on how he felt but had always held back, was it because of her. Was it because she had chosen to keep it in the room and did it even mattered anymore?

"Jack….what do I do now"

***IN COMING WORM HOLE***

The alarms came to life and Sam frowned, Jack and Teal'c had only left a couple of minutes ago, this couldn't be them, rushing towards the gate room she was soon followed by the others. Walter looked at them and frowned. Hammond shock his head, despite the years apart SG-1 would continue to be the Same people he knew all those years ago, they still cared for one another, glancing back at Walter he saw him placing his hand on the Iris control and saw nothing happening, something was very wrong here.

"Iris doesn't work?"

Walter shock his head, there was no response all the systems were frozen.

"No sir and I have no I.D.C"

There so many things that could go wrong when this sort of thing happened, but what he saw walking through the Gate was not what he was expecting to see, out of so many things he had expected would happened this was not one of them.

"Its Teal'c?!"

Hailey shouted aloud and the rest looked on in surprised, Teal'c was standing in the gate room a look of pure confusion on his face, something had gone wrong, something always went wrong.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OTHALLA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Looking at the man known as Jack O'Neill the massive Furling was not impressed. the way the others talked about this human. They told tales of his heroism and bravery, how he fought overwhelming odds and managed to come up on top, this man was a legend and yet all he saw was a weak human, old weak and pathetic. This human could not possible be the one they talked about. Jack could immediately tell that he was being judge by the massive were wolf looking thing and smirked, it was good to be underestimated, that way he could come up with something impressive.

"You are the great O'Neill?"

The Furling frowned and chucked the human raised and eye brow at him and nodded, the alien had to admit that for a human he showed little to no reaction to his appearance or tone of voice.

"Name is Jack O'Neill"

"So you have kept the universe safe?"

Jack shock his head, the others tended to name him a lot during their discussion with other beings, he never liked that, sure he was friends with most of the alien races but he couldn't have achieved what he had with out so many sacrifices from a lot of good people.

"We, as in every member of the SGA"

The wolf like creature smiled, not a bad response for a human.

"If others were involved why do I speak to you alone?"

"Not my idea, if it were up to me I would have my team by my side and every single member that has risked his life to defend our world and the universe from the dangers that are out there"

"Bit arrogant"

Jack frowned and Lia looked nervously at Thor, this was the first meeting between a human and a Furling, this would decide if they Furlings made further contact with human or if they simply cut off all tied with them and refused to join the new alliance.

"Not arrogant just stating a fact, my people have fought and died keeping your enemies from gaining too much power over the universe"

"Our enemies you say? Why fight our battles for us if the cost was so high?"

"The same reason you fought them in the first place, you couldn't stand the sight of it"

The Furling smiled at the human, he was right, they had made themselves enemies because they couldn't stand by and watch the suffering of others, they had a choice to make and in the end, they had decided to fight those who would bring suffering to others. Just like these humans had decided to fight.

"Liar, you did it to save your world from harm"

"We did, but that changed and what started as a self defense war evolved into the alliance you see before you"

"Oh so you believe you can bring peace to the universe?"

"No, but we can make a difference and when the time comes when another evil power rises we will be there to challenge it, with or without your help"

Jack is tone held no hesitation, he was firm and direct, despite knowing that the alliance needed them and that without them they could possibly be lost he wouldn't let the Furling undermined the alliance they had worked so hard to establish. Garou Nodded in understanding, this human was special all right he wasn't intimidated by him or by his words, instead he rose to the challenge and made his point, he fought because there was need to fight not because he wanted to fight. Looking closely at the human he could see that the last thing he wanted to do was continue to fight, and yet here he was negotiating and advocating for the alliance.

"Why do you continue to do this? You speak well but you feel differently why?"

"Because I have fought enough battles and seen enough death to be tired of it"

"So you have"

He could feel it, deep within the man is a soul laid in pain and suffering the man was as much of a warrior as any of his race. He was a human whom was under tremendous pressure and pains and yet he stood to every challenge, and to every conflict with determination and courage unlike anything, he had ever felt before. This human, now he could see why he was chosen as the representative, it was not his ancient gene it was not his ability to work ancient technology, or his ancient knowledge it was his unwavering will to face any challenge that would arise. This human he was the embodiment of someone who would not break when face with whatever obstacle arose. Lia looked at Garou and could feel his approval on his face, not many could read a Furling but she could and she now knew that O'Neill's test would finally be underway.

"You are worthy to take the trials O'Neill"

"Thank you, now why don't we get something to eat?"

Lia closed her eyes and shock her head, it was just like Jack to turn such an important and momentous occasion into nothing more than a meeting before lunchtime. Garou laughed aloud and shock his head, this human was one of a kind all right.

"We shall feast before your trials human, so Thor you have any raw meat around?"

"No."

Jack smiled at the ill look that flashes over Lia and Thor is faces, it seem that Garou was just like the werewolf legends told, big hairy and a meat eater.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SGA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Things were going from bad to worse, they couldn't contact any of their allies and for some reason the stargate refused to work, something was blocking it, all systems were fine, all diagnostics were normal but still the damn thing refused to engage. Trying to contact Thor had been there best options and yet so far no luck on that either, something big had happened. Teal'c looked on at the working technicians with a frown on his face, he had vowed to remain by O'Neill's side and yet he had failed, something or someone had send him back and kept O'Neill. Sam looked at the computer in front of her and shock her head, nothing was working everything she did, everything she tried was a complete and utter failure, looking at Hailey she could see that the young woman was in the same predicament as she was.

"What do we have people?"

"Nothing sir, there is nothing wrong with outside of things, whatever is causing this it's not us"

Hailey looked at Sam and nodded, she agreed with her assessment, there side was fine.

"Whatever it is or whoever it is doing this, they are doing it from some were else sir"

"No idea on what, who or how to stop it?"

Hammond saw the look on both women and frowned, this was not good. The greatest minds on earth and they still couldn't figure out what was wrong with the stargate, looking at Teal'c he could see the concern look on his face.

"I must apologize to you all…I…"

General Hammond could see how much this was affecting Teal'c. The man was beside himself with worried and self-guilt, and as much as the others offered comforting words to the man nothing seem to make ease the Jaffa is guilt and worry. O'Neill was the one who had convince him to rebel against his god and throughout the years the man had become a brother to the Jaffa.

"There is nothing you could have done son, don't blame yourself"

Hammond could see that he somehow understood that, but refused to accept that he had failed his best friend. The General turned to the men and women working on the gate and on the computer, all around the SGA there was movement, no one seem to accept that Jack O'Neill had been lost. No one was willing to give up until they brought him home. The General smiled and smirked, how was it possible for one man to change so many lives without him knowing it? Because Hammond knew that Jack was blissfully unaware of what kind of impact he had on all those who surrounded him.

"Sir everything is fine on our end, why don't we contact our allies off world?"

Hailey had given up on trying to fix whatever the problem was on their system, she was sure that nothing would be accomplished if they continue to work on them. Nothing was wrong with them and she was sure that it was an outside source that was the problem, which meant that they needed to contact one of their allies.

"The long range communication systems are down also"

Hailey frowned and turned to her computer, after a quick scan she was sharing Sam is thoughts; whatever it was that was affecting the gate was affecting there long range communication devices, yet everything seem to be indicate that they were working fine.

"I took the liberty of testing out the long range systems, they are functioning but…"

"Hailey?"

Hammond saw the look on the younger woman and closed his eyes; this just kept getting better and better.

"Sorry sir but she is right, everything indicates that we are fully operational but nothing is working"

"Wait! What about Jack is little transmitter on his office, the one he uses to contact Lisa"

Daniel smiled when both women is faces lit up at the idea, all present in the room saw how Sam and Hailey ran away from the control room and straight to the General is office, followed soon by Daniel, Teal'c, and even General Hammond. Looking at one another they exchange quick glances and smirked, Jack would be found, no matter what these people were not going to give up on him. Reaching the General is office Hailey looked at the small device and frowned, it was just a small round disc with a lens in the middle, there was nothing more.

"I'll be damn I was wondering what that thing was"

Sam smiled at the General, it was good to have him back. Hailey on the other hand was busy trying figure out how it worked.

"Any luck Hailey?"

She shook her head and Daniel's face fell, there went there last shoot at contacting outside help.

"Is it an ancient device?"

Teal'c looked at Hailey and the girl nodded, Sam walked towards it and smiled of course it was an ancient device, the woman who had given it to Jack was an ancient hologram after all.

"Your thinking that only Jack could activate it?"

Sam asked and the Jaffa nodded, there would be no need for buttons or other forms of activation if all Jack needed to do was touch it to activate it.

"Well that is just great who else has the ancient gene?"

Hammond is hopeful look vanished when he noticed that everyone in the room had gone silent.

"Unfortunately all of those with the ancient Gene were shipped off to Atlantis"

"Then we are an in luck"

Janet is voice came from the doorway as everyone turned to face her they saw a man standing beside her, Hailey groaned when she saw whom it was, there was no escaping that guy. Daniel looked from the man to Janet, but the woman avoided looking towards him, the others immediately noticed it but keep their mouths shut, there were more pressing matters at hand.

"What do you mean doctor?"

Hammond was the first one to react at the doctor is statement; she smiled and then turned towards the man who immediately stood at attention and saluted him.

"Colonel Cameron Mitchell sir"

"At ease son"

"He is a new recruit, and he has the ancient gene"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OTHALLA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The old treaty was very clear, it was obscure and it was forgotten but it was there, he had remembered it, it was not in the original treaty but it had been part of the agreements, so many years have passed that the little clause had been forgotten, but he didn't forget it. He had their knowledge stored up deep within his mind, they were sneaky little light bulbs but he had figured their little plan out, the ancient or so call ancients were not as pure as they wanted others to believe, they a nasty little secret that they wanted hidden.

"Is everything all right O'Neill?'

Thor had been told by Lia the way Jack had become obsessed with the ancient database and how he was determined to find something regarding the ancients. Jack smiled and turned towards Thor, yeah everything was fine, now that he knew what the ancient is plan was.

"Yeah, but your are not going to like what I found"

"Oh?"

"It is a clause on the old treaty, one that will be challenge by the ancients"

"What sort of clause?"

"If I am to take the trials then I have to do them as a human"

Thor looked confused but then it dawned on him, O'Neill was not a normal human, he possessed the ancient gene and was a more evolve form of the normal humans on earth, but the big problem was what he held in his mind, the ancient would argue that all of his great deeds, all of the humans is accomplishment were done because he possessed their knowledge.

"Why are they doing this?"

Jack smiled and took a deep breath that is what had been bothering him but not anymore; he had figured it out when he remembered the ancient is little dark secret.

"They are using it as an excuse to remove the entire ancient is knowledge from my head, that is there main purpose, and if I am to qualify in this little treaty I will have to accept the terms they dictate to me"

"You don't feel confident in your abilities?"

Jack and shock his head, he was not worried about the trials he was more worried about what the ancient were keeping from them.

"It's not that, I have something to tell you and you have to listen closely because if I am right I might not come out of this alive"

"W-what?"

"I need to tell you about the Ori"

"The what?!"

Thor had never heard of them, but something about how Jack looked and the way he was acting told him that they were beings whom needed to be noticed.

"They are rebel ancients, called themselves gods and basically all around bad guys, what you need to know is that the ancients have no control over them and that if these guys were to attack us"

"I see"

"Yeah all around bad news, I thought we had enough trouble with the wraith but here is what I think we should do"

O'Neill is voice became deadly serious and Thor knew that his friend was not here, this Jack was the soldier one, he was the one who had faced off against Goa'uld.

"Should we not gather the others?"

"No, the ancients will be alerted if that happens"

"Very well, what do you have in mind?"

"We let the wraith know where the Ori are"

It was not a fooled proof plan but anything was better than not being ready to fend off a wave of super evil ancient, no matter how much they had advance and how much they had progressed trough out the years they still had a long ways to go in order to fight a grand scale war. The Wraith were still a problem and would continue to be a problem because no matter what they did they couldn't face them on equal grounds. The Wraith held every advantage, they were around longer than humans, they knew how to fight and knew how to fight ancient technology, while they were still trying to figure out how the ancient is mechanism worked. The fight with the Wraith was a losing one, he had admitted that years ago, but this alliance, this treaty could change all of that, but just in case something went wrong, he needed a backup plan and this was his best shot.

The Wraith were powerful but were also starving to death, they needed to feed so he was going to give them the best place in town to eat, he was going to make them fight amongst themselves and maybe just maybe buy enough time for his people to catch up. Thor smiled at O'Neill is way of thinking, this was the best the man could do and he was proud of his friend.

"I will send the information to Dr. Weir as soon I am able to O'Neill"

"Thanks buddy"

A BIG THANK YOU GO OUT TO CBass

Who took it upon herself to beta the whole darn story and send it to me big thanks to her and now that I have a beta the works will continue on


End file.
